Disclaimer: i don't own anything associated with Twilight.

Authors note: yes, i know. yet another story. But i cant help it! I'm being bombarded with story ideas! :D

This story will start off a little depressing (OK, a lot) but it will get happier. i'm a sucker for a happy ending...(i've only ever written one story ended sadly and i couldnt even bare to read it over again for mistakes)... oh, and there will be a lemon...eventually. It may be a little confusing but if you think it is then please tell me and i'll try to be a little clearer. Enjoy!...or not...

In the end

Bella's POV

It's strange, isn't it? How one minute, life can seem like it's better than it's ever been, and the next- in a matter of a couple of seconds- it can all come crashing down and you're helpless to stop it. There was a time when I thought my life couldn't get any better; I had a loving family, my annoyingly lovable friend Alice, and the one person who meant more to me than anything else, my best friend; Edward. It only took a matter of seconds for those words to be uttered...words I hadn't expected to hear...hadn't even considered the possibility of being true. A year ago, my best friend died. And my world came crashing down around me.

He had been killed in a road accident. I always thought it was ridiculous; that someone's life being ended, someone who loved and was loved, could be described as something as simple as an 'accident'. That makes it seem trivial, that it's no big deal, 'it was just an accident'...but how can something seemingly so insignificant describe the brutal end of a loved one's life?

I had loved him; I still do, although I had never managed to gather the courage to admit it to him. I had been too afraid, too stupid not to tell him before it was too late. Even if he hadn't felt the same way, he still would have known and I wouldn't be regretting that I hadn't told him how much I cared about him, how much I needed him.

I had cried for weeks after I was told the news of his death. I hadn't even managed to go to the funeral because I couldn't bring myself to leave my house, or even my bed. I was too...broken, too empty. It was as if as soon as he left this world, I did too. My personality, my essence, my very soul had been destroyed at the moment of his passing.

I'd been like a zombie for the past year; just going about my routine, but empty inside. Alice, Edward's sister, and the rest of Edward's family had taken it as badly, as would be expected. But they, somehow, were managing to move on with their lives. They weren't nearly the same as they had been; not as much energy, as much spirit, but they were healing. Me, on the other hand, I was still mourning. But lately I had come to realize that I couldn't do it.

I just wasn't able to live without Edward. Sure, Jake (my friend from the reservation near where I live) had been trying to help me. He had managed to make me laugh again, make me smile. He had taken me out motorcycling, and cliff diving, a couple of times as well. I was more alive than I had been, but just barely.

I spoke to Alice since it had happened, but not nearly as much as I used to. It wasn't her fault, she just reminded me so much of Edward. I couldn't step into her house without my mind thinking he would be there, that this would all turn out to be a bad dream and he would walk out of his room with that same crooked grin on his face that I loved. But he didn't. He never did. Not once in the times I had been to his house after he died did he walk towards me and say that it wasn't real, that he was still here and he wouldn't leave me. Not once.

After a while, a few weeks after Edward died, when I was at her house, walking up to her room, Alice just froze. Her eyes were as round as saucers and her mouth was open in a shocked little 'o'. I had asked her what was wrong and she asked me and asked me if I could see him. If I could see Edward too, I didn't know what to think. I had wished repeatedly to see him, just one more time, and here was Alice claiming that she could see him, but when I looked around, there was nothing. We were standing in an empty corridor, just near the door that opened up to the stair case that led to what had once been Edward's room, but it was only the two of us. Alice kept on saying she could see him, crying when she was asking why I couldn't, why I wouldn't believe her. I couldn't bare it. Edward had just died and Alice, I assumed, was hallucinating as she tried to cope with her grief.

For the rest of that day, she would suddenly have a blank look on her face and be staring at an empty space in the room, completely oblivious to me or what I was saying. I remember once, when I had left her room to go to the toilet, I returned to her room and heard her talking. Just having a once sided conversation. I couldn't really make out what she was saying but when I went back into the room it was empty, there was only Alice.

That was the last time I had been to her house. She hadn't mentioned that day again, but I could tell, somehow, that she thought she could still 'see' him.

I had woken up this morning, gotten dressed, and just drove. I wasn't entirely sure where I was going until I found myself here; at the cliffs of first beach in La Push. I looked out at the open sea, the dark grey clouds over head that pelted rain down from the heavens, the angry waters below, crashing against the base of the cliffs. It seemed my surroundings reflected my mood; the despair, the sadness.

I took another small step towards the edge of the cliff, so the front of my shoes where perched on the edge, and looked down once more at the steep drop, the unforgiving sea and the deadly rocks below. Right then, right then; I realized I couldn't do this. Edward's death had been terrible on his friends and family. Did I really want to hurt the ones I love like that? What about my dad, my mum? They would be devastated if their only daughter died. I couldn't do that to them. I couldn't do it to Alice, either. She had already lost a brother; I couldn't let her loose a friend as well.

Just as I was about to take a step backwards, to head towards my truck, drive home and try to get on with my life, knowing how difficult that would be, I felt two hands press on my back, pushing firmly and then I felt myself falling... falling... falling... towards my death.

A/N: see? i told you it was going to be a little depressing to begin with. I have a poll on my profile and i would really appreciate it if you vote. I'll give a shout out to anyone who can guess the culprit as well.

A big thank you to my beta readinangel! thanks for all the help! you rock!

i have the next chapter written already so if i get a sufficient response to this story i will post it really soon...

thanks for reading! please review!