I Was Wrong

Summary: Elena told Damon that she feels nothing for him. What if that's not true? What if she feels a lot more than just something? What if she just doesn't want to tell him? What if Damon finds a way to find her humanity back without getting her cured or being compelled by an original? Episode 4x19 in my imagination.

Author's Note: I suck at summary. This is going to be a short story containing two chapters. This is my first published story. Although I am working on a novel-sized Delena story and I already wrote a few chapters. If everything goes well I will be publishing that story in early May. Please review and let me know your thoughts.

P.S. rated M for a reason…

Disclaimer: I don't own tvd or any of the characters; they belong to L.J Smith and Julie Plec. If I did then the story would have been like this, Stelena would have never happened, Elena would have been a permanent resident of Damon's emperor-size bed and Damon would have never wore anything more than a pair black jeans.

Chapter 1 [A Few Good Things; A Few Bad Things]

Damon's POV

Salvatore, you're fucking ogling at her. My subconscious warns me, but I don't find any control over my eyes or my body to turn around and see anything else rather than the fucking waltz my baby brother and she is trying. Elena, my Princess. It was really the toughest thing in the world to watch her melting into my baby bro's arms. But no matter how hard I try my fucker eyes won't listen to a single word my mind is saying to turn away from her. What the fuck is my mind really saying anyway?

One moment its saying…see that girl over there, she had hurt you countless times. She'd probably trump the summation of all the creatures had hurt you in your 172 years lifetime. She is the one who never understood the difference between what she wants and what everybody want her to do. She is the one who couldn't admit what she wants fearing that anybody might get hurt. Anybody except you, Salvatore…

Another moment it says… Look at her, she is the one who had made you this person you're today. The better person, who you've always avoided to become. She found a few good in you, that was always in you but no one ever tried to find them, not even you.

"You're staring…" , she says with a Katherineish grin in her lips…Where the hell was my fucking mind when she got this closer to me. She leans in and whispers to my ear, "This is creepy." She leans in closer, so that the tip of his nose slightly brushing my ear shell, tickling me, she speaks again in a super tempting voice, "But don't stop on my account, Damon." My breath hitches as I feel her hot breath on the sensitive skin of my neck. This is bad, this is bad, really really bad. She always manages to do this to me, human or vampire, switch on or switch off. She always knows to push the exact button to turn me on. And this all Katherine 2.0 attitude is killing me more. And what the hell is she talking about anyway. She's telling me not to stop staring at her. Like that's what I always do. True, Salvatore… my subconscious snaps…That is the only thing you're permitted to do. You were staring at her when she participated Miss Mystic Falls in her elegant blue gown. You were staring at her when she was getting ready for her birthday party in her beautiful white silk knee-length dress. You were staring at her when she came to the Mikaelson Party in her black, golden royal ball gown. You were staring at her when she attended Miss Mystic Pageant this year in her black lacy dress... and now you're probably drooling at her as she's wearing an off-shoulder, sweetheart neck hot pink gown that matches her new hot pink highlighted hair. That dress is clutching to her curves only to heighten them like… Guhhh fuck off Damon. She's screwing you over and you can't even take your eyes off her…

I know she's taunting me. I heartily shake those thoughts away and try to crack the humorous me. I say calmly with my signature-one-side-lips-up smile, "Glad to know that you still feel amazing taunting me, Elena." I let her name roll my tongue longer than usual.

Elena laughs my comment off and says, "I don't feel anything, Damon" rolling her eyes in laughter. God I hate that attitude, I hate that evil smile, I hate that fucking expressions of her now blank eyes. That Katherineish smile, that indifferent attitude, those blank doe eyes every time slap my ass and remind me that I have lost the girl I fall in love with, my Elena. I lost her and it was all my fault, I can't even blame my brother for it.

I remember her doing the same expression last night when I saved the last one alive from her midnight buffet. Although I had moved out from my own room to give her some space and give my all time hard cock some rest as she was being walking talking Victoria's secret show all the time but I still left all my nerves, my ears around her. I suspected that she was doing something terrible when I didn't hear her in my room aka her room now. Yesterday evening we gave her the same crap about the cure again which we've been giving her on repeat ever since we returned from Pennsylvania two days ago. But last night I really lost temper, Stefan and I, we both did. We were only seconds away from snapping her neck. I still wonder how could she not ended up in our basement dungeon considering both me and my brother's temper. May be we both didn't miss a slight sight of tear in her eyes, maybe we both hoped we could find her humanity back without holding her captive. Whatever it was, we regretted later. Stefan searched her everywhere in Mystic Falls streets, while I searched in the woods. Then I found her in the cemetery finishing her last prey. She had a nasty buffet on a group of druggie kiddies. She already had three of them totally drained out and she was feasting on her last prey, a barely sixteen years old boy. When I pry him out of her before she could gulp the last few remaining drops of blood from him I was immediately awarded by a 'see what can I do' look from her. I was disgusted but I didn't do anything to her, I didn't even said a word. Instead I had all my attentions on that poor drank, druggie teen who somehow reminded me of Jeremy… the boy was barely alive, but my blood healed him soon… Then when I compelled him to forget about everything and to do a few good thing instead of being wasted in a cemetery, I looked back at her blank eyes and saw some softness in them. For a few moments her chocolate eyes looked alive, which I haven't seen in a very long time. Very quickly it was replaced by her air of nonchalance. She rolled her eyes at me the same way she is doing right now.

Elena turns to leave with a devilish grin in her lips. I quickly grab her arm. When she turns smilingly I say as calmly as I could, "Admit it, Elena. You still feel good to hurt me."

She releases her hand from my grip and smiles at me. Then she says, "I feel nothing for you, Damon." Ahhh… this was all I needed right now… another stake through my heart. I stand there speechless as she turns back to Stefan, who was standing near enough to hear every word of our conversation. She slowly goes back to his arms. Stefan gives me a 'well then you hear our majesty' look and slowly begins to dance with her…

Elena Gilbert, you love screwing with me, don't you?

I know all this stupid teen fantasies she's been doing right now. She's doing these to make me jealous… Well breaking news, I am jealous. I don't even remember when was the last time I got this jealous at my baby bro… oh yeah I remember when they danced at the Founders' Party, in which I had to go with Barbie a long time ago. May be I am even more jealous than that. I'm more hurt than anything. How could she even say that right now, after everything that happened between us in the last couple of months. After finally telling me that she loves me and it's the most real thing she' felt in her entire life.

Last night I lied to my brother. I told him that I had found her near her parents grove. I lied because, when she silently helped me bury those bodies, a tiny hope sparkled in my mind that there might be a few humanity still left in her, there maybe hope for her. Because she cared enough to bury the bodies of her victims, instead of leaving them rotting there.

I was wrong. It didn't took me long to understand that she isn't back yet. When I told her earlier this evening, "Don't eat the Prom Queen." I saw that bitchy confident all over again. She just shrugged her shoulders and said, "May be that wont be possible" leaving a trail with her finger on my black tuxedoed chest and moved passed us. I and Stefan both turned to her frowning as she smiled and continued, "I won't be able to eat myself…"

Elena's POV

Mission accomplished! I think smiling to myself, while I return to Stefan. Stefan smiles and takes my hand. I guide his other hand on my waist and begin to dance. Dancing with Stefan is really sucky when The Master of Dancing is standing right besides us. I glance at Damon one more time as I start circling in Stefan's arms. As always, he's just standing there with a glass of champagne in his hand, his fathomless eyes hurting. His eyes look exactly the same as they looked last night when he pried that punk kid away from me. He didn't say a word when I gave him an evil smile. His eyes didn't judge me, didn't gave me any disgusted look. His eyes looked hurting, just hurt… Then without a word, he bit his wrist and made the boy drink his blood. Then when the boy came to a stable situation, he asked him his name…His name was John… Jack or something, he looked nearly sixteen and he was all wasted in booze and drugs. I bet if I hadn't kill him there he'd have died soon in Liver Cirrhosis or drag overdose. Then I saw something in Damon that I didn't believe existed in him, I mean I saw him compelling his preys few times when we haunted together, when I was switched on. The only thing he did while compelling his victims was making them forget all about him. But last night when the boy was healing Damon asked him questions about his studies, his hobbies, his family and the reasons he became like this. Then Damon not only compelled him to forget us, he compelled him to do a bunch of goods like studying well, participating in friendly, social events, taking care of his siblings and being nice to his mother as his father recently died in a car accident. All this reminded me of Damon compelling someone, someone really special in my life, well used to be someone special, now someone I even don't wanna remember…

I really didn't wanna remember any of those goodie, goodie crap anymore… I don't wanna feel any of those sad little days of my life anymore. I knew what he was doing he was only doing these to make me feel. So I disgustedly rolled my eyes at him, he looked deeply hurt. But then he got up with that signature smirk on his lips. "Insuring our food policy", he said smirking. I swear I didn't want to feel anything, but I guess I did. I helped him bury the bodies. I saw the spark in his eyes, the hope that he could change me. So I had to prove to him that I don't feel, so I hurt him and mission accomplished. He is hurt. Oh God… I love when his hurt wearing a tux. I look at him again peeping through Stefan's shoulder and find ocean of sorrows in his eyes. Does it really feel good, Elena? I don't know why I'm feeling this way; off course, it feels good to hurt Damon. I know it feels good, I'm sure of it. I'm nothing but a heartless bitch now. I lean close to Stefan. He looks at me confuse first. I give him an innocent smile and lean in closer. He closes his eyes closing the distance between the two of us. I slowly lock my lips with his, toughing his lips lightly with the tip of my tongue. As soon as Stefan opens his mouth to me, I waste no opportunity sliding my tongue in his mouth.

Damon's POV

God, I really shouldn't have come in these kiddies' Prom Night. All the boys and girls giggling, dancing or at least trying , pretending to have fun, When all of this is really really boring stuffs…Creepy. Elena dancing with my baby bro, while all her attention is towards me…Super Creepy. She's trying to show everybody, including herself that they have forgotten the rest of the world completely. But I know she's fucking faking it. Whatever is she doing, she is doing to hurt me, to prove me that she doesn't feel anything damn thing about me. She's fucking faking it. Although I admit her therapy is really working, I'm only seconds away from snapping someone's neck or ripping into someone's artery and feed until I can't feel the pain anymore. But I can't, I won't. I'm just gonna stand here, drink a few champagne and watch how far can she go with this whole 'torture Damon to death' play…

Fuck! Now is the cup 100% full. She's kissing him. Hey dumb ass Stefan don't you see she's using you. She's just toying with you to screw me over. What if she's not? My subconscious pulls through. No, it is a game. It has to be a game. I try to make my mind understand. Then I look at them. She's putting her hands on his neck, pulling him closer to her, he's hands are around her waist in a tight grip. Their bodies are pressed against each other. They're fully devoted to each other. I hear soft moans coming out of her mouth… Suddenly a bunch of sad conversations hit my head.

"If it was just down to him and me…and you had to make a choice. Who got the good-bye? Who'd it be?"

"I love him, Damon…"

"No matter what I feel for you I never unfelt for him…"

"I love Stefan. It's always gonna be Stefan…"

So she choose Stefan…I stand there silent for a moment. Suddenly a familiar voice breaks the silence. "Elena's gone", says Bonnie looking at Elena with her judgy witchy eyes. Since when does she care about me, since when does she judge Elena when she's with Stefan.

I don't say a single word to Bonnie. Because it doesn't matter anymore. All that matters is that I gotta run, I gotta get the hell out of here, I gotta leave…

Elena's POV

See, I don't give a damn about what people think of me. I don't feel anything if anybody gets hurt or jealous of my carefree actions. Although it didn't feel very good kissing Stefan. We don't have that chemistry between us anymore. I wonder if we ever had that chemistry between us. It doesn't matter anymore. All that matters is I had to piss someone off moreover, I had to prove it to myself that I don't feel anything hurting anyone. So when I part from Stefan's lips, I let a cute smile linger in my lips and gaze at him. Stefan slowly opens his emerald green eyes and looks at me amused. I turn around to see someone special, whom I intended to hurt. Oh, I'd love to see pain in those fathomless crystal blue eyes of him. However, I can't find him there, where he stood a few minutes ago. So turn my gaze to the other side and still there's no sign of him. It took all for Stefan to understand that he was just doing his part in my play to hurt his brother, to make him jealous. Poor Stef, did he really think that I have these feelings for him that I'd actually kiss him…so poor. Wow… I have hurt him too and I'm awarded by disgusted looks from everybody around me, from Caroline who's standing at the corner of the Gym in her with mermaid dress, from Bonnie who was standing near Matt, even from Matt. I don't give a damn for their silent treatment. My eyes are impatiently searching of him everywhere, my ears are eager for his voice, even if he's cursing me right now. But my heightened vampire senses find nothing of him. He must have left this damn Prom…

"Damon's gone", Stefan says quietly, bowing his head in an apologetic way.

"What does it mean, he's gone?" I ask, trying hard to suppress my concern, my curiosity.

"He's gone and he's not coming back…" says Stefan, his voice cracked.

"What do you mean he's not gonna come back? Where's he going?" I lose my act, I loose my patient. I ask him clenching through my teeth.

"Elena", he grabs both my upper arms and says in an ice like cold voice, "When were in Pennsylvania, I told him that I'd leave after we fix you. He told me this morning while we're playing that one of us will leave and that will be the one whom you don't choose.", he took an unnecessary breath and spoke, "He left us, Elena." What the hell did Stefan think that I choose him, how pathetic. He knows it's not true. He knows it well.

The mask I'm wearing around my face had to remain indifferent. I laughed saying, "You men and your stupid games of choice…"

Inside my soul was being torn apart in pieces, it screamed, it wanted to fall on the knees screaming, it wanted to run with the wind to find him, bring him back destroying everything on its path…

He left me alone…He's gone…

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