The Fop Needs to Go In the Corner and Die

(A/N-Let me hereby say that this IS a parody of sorts. It's a story of the DBCA, and I'm truly sorry if it offends anybody. A big "I'm SORRY" to one of my favotire authoresses, whose name I used without permission. Iffn' ya don't like it, please don't flame. I'm just trying to extract the words from my mind, and try to make it less jumbled in there.)

Chapter 1-OH YEAH!

All of a sudden, I was hurtled through a multi-dimensional portal as I was summoned with the words, "Capes, Cloaks! Coats, Cloaks! An addicts life for me!" I realised I was being transported to a meeting of the DBCA. As I was nearing the entrance to the room, I heard a timer go off as Noni pulled cookies out of the oven.

"YES! NONI'S COOKIES!" I cheered as I slammed into PoeErik. He glared at me as I got up and hugged him. "HEY! It's been a while! Great to see ya!" He cringed.

"You know I do not tolerate contact of any kind from anyone but Adi," he said through gritted teeth, pulling out a Punjab lasso.

"Pu' tha lasso away, an' thar won't be any bloodshed," said a certain Scottish accent that made my blood run like fire. PoeErik glared once more and put away the lasso.

GLOMP!

"I missed you!" I said as I squeezed the crud out of my precious Marek.

"Aye, an' I missed ye too, lassie," he replied.

All the other DBCAians noticed my arrival by then, and I was greeted with many hugs and hellos.

"Hey Mrs. Malfoy! How's it going? Sam, Moonbeam! Hey! Good to see you guys again, too! Cricket! Love the new 'do! How's Snapie doing?" I exclaimed with many grins. Noni entered with a large plate of cookies. I ran to her and gave her a big hug as she handed me a cookie.

"MMM! These are great, as usual! Missed you! How's the hottie hubby doing?" I said through a mouthful of amazingness. Noni laughed.

"He's doing great!" she replied as she passed the platter of cookies around.

"Hey, has anybody seen my Erik? He's gone missing again...Hey Aminta! Didn't see you there!" said Carolyn, rubbing cookie crumbs off of her fangs with her tongue.

"No, I haven't seen Erik...he wasn't in the hotel last time I checked...Sorry! Funny you didn't see me...It's kinda hard to miss a short chick with bright blonde hair and a black cloak surrounded by 12 muses..." I said, suddenly suppressing the need to sigh. All of a sudden, I felt a cold, damp breath on my neck, right above my pulse-point.

I giggled. "Hi Draccie!" I said, whipping around to catch my muse in a hug. He said nothing in reply, being bitter due to being caught yet again.

"Hey, girl!" said Gerik #4, doing the gay-guy flippy-hand thing with his perfectly-manicured nails. "I just looove that top! You know, I just about bought it at Muses-R-Us the other day..." he said, giving me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. That was followed by four more hugs. A bear hug to where I could barely breath from the strong Geriks # 1 and 5, and a shy one from 3, along with a regular one from 6.

"Dude, where's 2?" I begged incredulously.

"Ach! How should I know?" said Terry Sheridan with a grin. I grinned in return and I ran up to him, jumping into his well-muscled arms for a hug. As he put me down, Westley was just getting in from the portal.

Feet-first. Into me.

"You know, we really should work on our entrances, Krissy," said the English gentleman with a hug and a peck on the cheek. I was surrounded by a shadow as arms wrapped around my waist and a pair of lips gently caressed my neck.

"Bonjour, mon ange," whispered my Erik. I turned in his arms and have him a kiss on his unmasked cheek, lingering for a moment.

"Hello, to you, too, my sweet," I replied with a grin.

"Would you like a drink, mon amie?" sweetly asked my Erik based on the character from the phanphic story "Partnership of the Heart Formerly Building".

"Sure, sweetie!" I said as I felt a whiskery beard tickling my neck with kisses.

"TILLIE!" I squealed, squirming in his grasp to trap him in a tight embrace. Erik raised an eyebrow at me as my glazed-over eyes stared unblinkingly as Attila did the "tongue-thing". He handed me my drink and I took a sip as Adi entered the room.

"Aminta! You've finally arrived! GREAT! Josh says, 'Hey, sexy', by the way," she said with a hug and an eye roll. I grinned and gestured to my leather-clad body.

"Hey-can't blame him! I wore this hoping he'd be here..." I said rather disappointed.

"Sorry 'bout that, 'Mintie, but I'm sure he'll show up if you just ask him," she replied, laughing at my attempt to play "hard-to-get". "Okay, ladies! You've all been summoned here because we've had another fop-sighting. A couple of weeks ago, I was notified of a fop by Aminta. Please inform us about this disgusting creature."

"Sure," I spat out in angered disgust." "He's a tall one, with foppish long blonde hair and blue eye as deep as the ocean. He disgusts me; his name is ERIK! He's a disgrace to all Erik's everywhere!" I said, bursting into tears of grief, along with many of the other phans. I buried my face into Erik's cravat, and wiped my eyes and nose, leaving makeup all over it. He simply grimaced as I continued. "He's a pretty boy and he can't even hold a note! He talks words of love and is all sweet-like and overly-mushy. His hero is King, or should I say, QUEEN Fop-boy! And on top of all that," I sniffed, "HE DISSED MY ERIK!" A large gasp rose around the room.

"Why didn't you Punjab him then!" cried DeltaEvenstar.

"It was in my other cape!" I yelped before bursting into hysterical sobs once again. I received many sympathies before pulling myself together. I gratefully accepted a hug from Erik and Marek, as well.

"We must NOT let him get away with this! We MUST being him to justice!" yelled Adi, raising her fists into the air.

"Aye-aye," mumbled Cap'n Meg, wavering around. She started to yell something about the rum disappearing, so I quickly reached into my cape and brought out my emergency supply and gave it to her. She grabbed it and drank greedily. We all laughed.

"Let's go get him!" cried out Adi, raising her cheese grater into the air.

They all fled out into the portal, leaving my muses, Noni, and me.

"Cookies of Doom?"

"Oh yeah!" And we ran to the kitchen.