Do I Know You? 4x01
1. It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return. But what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel.
Barney sighed and took a deep breath. He was back in the appartment as a wave of misery swept over him. He was so stupid, so so stupid. Tears were somewhere deep down ready to boil over his eyes. It was just so hard.
He'd just had dinner with Robin, and it was the most amazing thing to be able to stare right at her, talk freely with her. All night she'd been sitting there out of his reach. The only thing that stopped him from taking her in his arms was that she deserved so much better. Not some guy who treated girls like rubbish. Not some guy who worked his life around the next girl in his bed.
He could change, he could be anything she wanted. But at the same time, he had to ignore his alter ego, the fighting battle he had inside him, that wanted every other girl in the world.
He wished he'd had the strength to not sleep with April. He wished he hadn't heard himself moan Robin's name accidentally as April undressed him. He wished he could just tell her but he couldn't. He wished people trusted him. Gently, his heart throbbed. He wanted to hold her, smell her, touch her and to see her beautiful face.
Quickly, Barney checked his watch to distract his wandering mind. And then he grabbed his remote and flicked on a programme called Metro News 1.
And there she was, in all her glory, in all her beauty. She was just so perfect. She was reading the news but the words she uttered just sounded like a blur in Barney's head. She looked so breathtakingly beautiful that he couldn't help but sigh. Her hair balanced just above her shoulders, her eyes were glossy and amazing. Her small lips curved into a perfect smile, pink lipstick covering them. Her skin looked rosy and soft. Her clothes hung around her loosely. It hurt him so badly, watching her.
But he smiled. Because he was in love with her and all her beauty. He grinned up at her affectionatley and wished he could be exactly what she needed.
He switched it off before he woudl start crying and returned to the bedroom slowly.