Irrelevant

Oga's and Hilda's usual irrelevant bickering and Furuichi trying to keep his sanity intact.

Damn, I love Oga/Hilda. Don't own, if I own Beelzebub would I write fanfictions? Tch.

Furuichi blinked twice as he saw the view before him. Well, sometimes, sometimes, the three of them really looked nice as a family, he thought as Hilda silently patted Beel (as he drifted to sleep) and Oga, well, looked uninterested (since he's Oga) but still, they looked happy for all its worth.

But, when looking at those three like that; he wondered what if, you know, if Oga and Hilda really had a child of their own? Of course it's not possible, Oga will probably buried 6-feet under before he can ever think of doing anything to Hilda or Oga himself wouldn't ever wanted to do that with Hilda (God, why? Look at her boobs, dude- sometimes Furuichi wished he could smack some sense into that inhuman bastard)

Ehem, back to the topic, but seriously, he thought, their baby must be more or less the same with Baby Beel; having ridiculous amount of powers and it'd be better if it was a girl, c'mon look at Hilda's assets. Ahem, AND it really would be weird if he fall in love with Oga's and Hilda's daughter, but, wait, there's a story like that wasn't it? The one where the character fall in love with his bestfriend daughter (Breaking Dawn, anyone?); so it's not that weird right?

Haha.

'Oi!' Oga woke him up from his imaginary imagination of Hilda's and Oga's imaginary daughter.

'What?' Furuichi was currently sweating profusely.

'Ah, you must be thinking about ecchi things, don't you? It was daylight for fuck's sake!'

'N-No!' Trying not to stammer again (Hilda and Oga both gave him 'that' look), he took one deep breath before explaining what exactly he had been thinking, well, at least, initially.

'I was just imagining, you know, if you and Hilda-san having a child of your own, how it would look like, would act like…,' he trailed off only to find that once again, the dangerous couple were giving him that blank look; that of course annoyed him to no end.

He took another deep breath. 'I mean, aren't you curious? Baby Beel that isn't your biological son is messed up enough, what if you guys have your own? Wouldn't he or she be more messed up than Baby Beel?'

A moment of silent before Furuichi saw that both of them suddenly widen their eyes.

'So, does that mean, you're having an ecchi thought about our imaginary biological child?' Hilda asked him with that usual stoic look while Oga giving him an 'oh-ho' look.

'T-t-that's not the point! The point is don't you guys ever wonder about it?' Feeling exasperated than ever he resorted to once again, took a deep breath.

Hilda and Oga looked at each other for a moment. Somehow, Furuichi's heart is having its own 'doki-doki' moment watching them. So this must be how girls felt when they read shoujo manga.

'No.' Oga shrugged while Hilda coolly closed her eyes and answered. How could he forget that he was asking question to these two?

Tears were streaming down his face as he slumped to the wall, 'Never mind, just never mind, just forget that I ever asked.'

'But, really, that's kind of interesting.' Hilda suddenly spoke. Furuichi was nodding furiously.

'What kind of idiot will be produced?' Furuichi banged his head on the wall this time.

Oga's eyebrow twitched as he clearly understood that the attack was pointed towards him.

'Oh, you mean, what kind of slut will be produced?'

Both of them shot dangerous electrifying glare towards each other. Furuichi sighed, well; he couldn't actually say that he didn't expect that to happen.

'…that's why I want it to be a boy." Oga suddenly spoke, stating it as if it was obvious. Furuichi try not to drop his jaw while Hilda clenched her fist.

'What do you want another boy for? Young master is corrupted enough by you.'

'Well, why do you want a girl then? To show off her tits to horny man like him?' Oga pointed his finger towards Furuichi.

'H-h-hold on! Why the hell does this concern me?'

'You started it!' Oga pointed out.

Oh well…

'For one thing, a girl will have a wider field of power.' Hilda stated her point, calmly, as usual.

'Uh-huh. And what the fuck is that?'

'There, she isn't born yet, but he's already imagining things, see, the power of a daughter can bring? She definitely can conquer the human world in a blink of eye.'

'Why would she ever wants to conquer the human world? She's half-human, God, woman, can't you think?'

'Well, I want her to. Don't you realize if she conquers the world, how much power we'll have in our hand? Idiot.' She finished off her point with her trademark smirk that further fueled Oga's anger.

'Firstly, it's not a 'she'. It's going to be a 'he'; capiche?'

Hilda's eyebrow twitched out of annoyance.

'I'll be the one who carries HER for 9 months, suffer through all the pains while you idly watch by. So, it's going to be a 'she'.'

'Your point is irrelevant. Che, as if you'll let me sit by for those 9 months. As if I didn't know you bitch! You'll be telling me to do this and that, anyh-'

'STOP!' Oga was suddenly interrupted by a white-faced Furuichi.

Both Hilda and Oga turned towards Furuichi waiting him to say something since he indefinitely had interrupted a very important conversation, for them at least.

Furuichi was heaving and sweating for some unknown reasons.

'You two were bickering about something that haven't even been made yet! Seriously, what in the name of hell, is wrong with you two?' Well, what Furuichi wanted to say is how could they ignore his existence in their self-absorbed bickering but he knew better to not say it out loud (because they'll just ignore him anyway).

And not to mention, how can they argue about something soooo awkward?

The temporary parents for Beel were both nodding with closed eyes while muttering something along how Furuichi was being right. Baby Beel made some noises, indicating that he had woken up, probably from the noise his parents were making just now. Hilda rushed by to see if something wrong and comforted him back to sleep.

'…but, she's gonna be one hell of a good mother.' Oga said, silently, but loud enough for Furuichi to hear.

'Eh? Ehhh? EHHHH? What did you say?' Well, he heard it, but it seems so wrong.

Oga gave Furuichi his annoying blank I-don't-care look.

'Did I say something?'

'Bastard.'

Why did he bother to ask anyway?

Furuichi is an amazing guy. Really. Trully.