Disclaimer: Buffy: The Vampire Slayer and its characters aren't mine. They all belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.
Summary: Takes place during "Entropy", Spike DOES cast a spell on himself that would make him stop loving Buffy and things get out of control. Spike/Buffy pairing.
Spoilers: Season Six and Seven
AGAINST DESTINY
Chapter One : Entropy
Spike sank on his couch with a heavy sigh after five hours of back breaking crypt cleaning. His home was now back to normal, as normal as it could get to accommodate the Vampire. The ash and black debris in the upper level had been scrubbed off of the walls, floor, and the ceiling. The charred furniture and dead, baby Suvolte Demons in the lower level had been thrown away. Fortunately, his collection of stolen Buffy goods, books, personal journals, old photos, and written poetry managed to survive the Slayer's escapade with a grenade as they were hidden in a stone chest.
The door then burst open with a loud crash and Buffy entered the crypt in all of her self righteousness glory with a black object in her hands.
The peroxide blond Vampire stood up from the couch and strode toward the Slayer. He looked into her emerald green eyes. They were full of tension, confusion, and doubt, though to a smaller amount. "Need something, Slayer?"
The young woman said nothing and maintained her blank and cold expression. Quickly, she shoved the black object she had been carrying into Spike's right hand.
Spike looked at the thing in his hand, puzzled, and had no idea what the disturbance was all about. He gazed at the Slayer carefully, her face suddenly demanding and questioning. "What's this?" he asked with an arched eyebrow.
"It's a camera," Buffy answered matter-of-factly though her voice held no emotion.
The Vampire fought the urge to snort. "Yeah, I got that part. Why am I holding it?"
"Someone was using it to spy on me. On the house. Xander thinks it might've been you," Buffy replied.
Fiery rage flared in Spike's sapphire blue eyes. "Oh, the great Xander thinks so! Shudder gasp! It must be true!" he said in mocked tone.
"Spike..."
He resisted the need to bolt out of his home, rip Xander to shreds, and then scatter his entrails all over town. Words could not describe the hatred he felt toward the poor excuse of a man. "That ponce has always had it for me. Every chance he gets, he sticks it..." he told her coldly and stopped when he caught uncertainty on her face. "You believe him, don't you? You think I was spying on you." His dead heart shattered at the revelation.
Buffy didn't respond and glanced at him a bit guiltily.
"You think I could do that," he accused.
The Slayer finally found her tongue and sarcastically said, "Yeah, righteous indignation is absolutely the way to go here, 'cause you don't kill or lie or steal or manipulate..."
Spike handed the camera back to Buffy carefully. "I don't hurt you," he stated quietly.
She looked down at the camera. "I know."
"No, you don't," he accused again. "I've tried to make it clear to you, but you won't see it. Something happened to me. The way I feel... about you... It's different. No matter how hard you try to convince yourself it isn't. It's real." He tried his best to sound convincing and genuine and silently pleaded for her to believe him.
"I think it is," she agreed gently and paused. "For you."
Spike stared at her. He felt like he just died again and whatever was left of his shattered heart crumbled to dust and was set on fire. Pain and hurt spread across his sapphire blue eyes with a small trace of self loathing.
"I know that's not what you want to hear. And I'm sorry. I really am. You just... have to move on. You have to..." she said and tried to be sincere as much as possible.
He gazed at her intensely, then desperately but his face hardened in a split second. He glared at her menacingly and coldly as rage boiled inside him. If looks could kill, Buffy would have been on the stone floor gasping for her breath. "Get out," he hissed, venom and anger dripping all over his voice. With that said, he whirled around and went to the lower level of his crypt.
When Spike heard the Slayer leave, he picked up an empty bottle of Jack Daniel's from the floor and violently threw it at the wall. He watched in satisfaction as the bottle shattered into a hundred pieces and when the noise it made echoed throughout the basement of his crypt. William the Bloody shook his head and began to pace around, from one end to the other.
"Not real... NOT REAL?!! Bloody, sodding, bleeding, wretched bitch doesn't know what's real herself. Who is she to judge? I know what I feel is real... Bitch doesn't know me... Bitch doesn't even know her own self, she doesn't," he grumbled through clenched teeth. "God, what does it take?!!" he roared as he stopped in front of the wall. He drew his fists back and punched the wall continuously while he laughed bitterly.
Slowly, he stopped and sat down with his back against the wall though his laughter did not cease. Good God, he changed for her, made himself a better man. He let a Hell God break his bones so he could keep her and Dawn safe. He fought by her side to stop Evil, even though her friends treated him as dirt, even though he wasn't obligated to. He was always there to listen and to understand her while the Scoobies pressured her to get better when she got resurrected. He loved her and was willing to be her slave, do anything for her, ANYTHING. Sweet merciful Hades, if that wasn't love, then was it?
Spike rested his head on his hands and fought back the tears that welled up in his sapphire blue eyes. "Bloody bint has no idea what she's doing to me... what my feelings for her..." he whispered hoarsely and trailed off. It hurt... everything hurt so much. It felt like his insides were cut by a rusty blade. Who knew a few simple words could cause so much pain, so much torment? Will the pain ever stop? Will it ever...
The Vampire shook his thoughts out of his head as he realized he had been brooding. No, there was no way he was going to act like Angel.
Spike stood up again and resumed his pacing. "This has to bloody stop. This wasn't even suppose to happen... it's all wrong, it is!! Me, Vampire, is suppose to kill the Slayer, it's my destiny. Buffy, Slayer, is suppose to kill the likes of me, her destiny. A Dance is what we do, with only one standing in the end..."
"I've got to find a way... need to get over her like I did with Dru. Need something to make the love and hurt go away. But how?" He frantically wracked his brain for answers. He knew he could get over Buffy but that might take years, centuries even. He needed a faster solution, an easier way out.
"A spell." He smirked as the answer to his problem percolated through his brain. A spell could make him stop loving Buffy. "A spell is what I need... but does it exist?" He hoped against hope that it did. "It should, it has to... if there's a spell that could make me fall for Buffy and then propose to her..." He grinned at the memory. The event disgusted him back then but now it was one of his most treasured moments. "...why not a numbing spell?"
Spike climbed up the ladder and paused when he reached the upper level. "But where am I going to get it? And who will cast it? Can't go to Red or Glinda... they'll tell Buffy. The Nerds are out of the question... so that only leaves Demon Girl and her little shop." He had a suspicion that Anya would distance herself from the Scoobies since Xander dumped her at the altar so the chances of the Vengeance Demon telling the Slayer were slim at the moment. Spike allowed another smirk creep onto his lips and sauntered into the night.
***
Spike entered the Magic Box and saw Anya and Halfrek by the counter. "Hey. I need a thing," he announced casually.
Anya greeted the Vampire with dancing eyes, obviously excited about something. Why? Spike had no idea. "So... what's your pleasure?" she asked in a business like tone.
"Fresh out of pleasure. That's why I'm here. I need something. Numbing spell, maybe?" he said nonchalantly as he strode toward the counter.
"Uh huh. Hang on," Anya nodded and pulled Halfrek aside.
Spike watched the Vengeance Demons whisper to themselves. He could hear them if he focused with his vampire hearing but decided not to. He could care less whatever they were talking about. Besides, the thought of being free from Buffy preoccupied his mind. After awhile, Halfrek waved to Anya and left the store.
"Sorry to bust up the little girls' night out," he apologized.
"No problem. I'm ready to do business," Anya replied, a bit too eagerly.
"Right then. Got something that'll dull the ache a bit?" he asked.
The blonde woman turned around and gathered herbs, roots, and powdered materials from the shelves. "So... have you heard about me and Xander?" she initiated.
"Yeah," he responded dryly and winced inwardly, not really wanting to talk about Xander of all people. "...Slayer told me all about it, she did."
Anya whirled around to face him and set the ingredients on the counter. "Xander is stupid. He dumped me at the altar," she stated bluntly. "His friends think he's stupid too," she added quickly. "Don't you think he's stupid? Don't you hate Xander? Don't you just WISH that his guts should explode?"
"It'll be a pretty sight," Spike chuckled and noticed the mischievous and malevolent gleam in her eyes as she said 'wish'. "Poncy bastard deserves that and more. The bloke deserves to be drained until he's nearly dead, I say. Then, he should get tossed into a sea full of sea serpents. It'll be fun watching the beasties rip him apart while he screams."
"Yeah, that's a good one! Do you really WISH that?" she chirped.
The Vampire shook his head sadly. "No... not really... for some reason he means something to Red, Nibblet, and the Slayer. I hate Brick Layer but I'd hate it more to see Nibblet and the others get depressed over him."
Anya let out a frustrated growl. "Xander, Xander, XANDER!! Everyone is always sticking up for Xander, even YOU!! I mean, HELLO, I'm the one who got dumped here!! I'm the victim!!" she ranted angrily as she bagged Spike's things and totalled the amount on the cash register.
Spike just kept quiet and raised an eyebrow. He wondered what was Anya's fit all about and what she meant by 'everyone is always sticking up for Xander'. He shook the thought away. Whatever happened between Xander, Anya, and the Scoobies was none of his business. He already had enough problems with his love life.
"That'll cost you $50.58" Anya said coldly.
The Vampire paid her without a word and took the brown paper bag from the counter.
"There's a card in the bag with the incantation for the spell," she reminded him and smiled brightly afterward. "Thank you for shopping with the Magic Box and have a nice night!! Oh, and, don't forget to bring more money next time!!"
Spike almost flinched at the tone she used as he headed toward the door. It reminded him of the way the Buffy Bot talked. The Vampire almost bumped into someone as he stepped out of the store.
"Slayer," he greeted coldly when he saw it was her.
"Spike," Buffy replied automatically and noticed the brown paper bag on his right hand. "What's that?"
"Stuff," he answered.
"What for?"
"To 'move on'," he said in a low, almost menacing voice and walked away.
Buffy watched him disappear into the shadows with a confused look on her face.
***
Spike traced a circle, which was three feet in diameter, on the stone floor with the bottle of black powder that he had purchased from the Magic Box in a counter clockwise direction. He then placed all of the herbs and roots in the centre of the circle and set the pile on fire with his lighter. The Vampire sat down in front of the ring and read the incantation from the little card Anya gave him.
"Eros, Kut uv Muja, knyhd so fecr,
Mekrd, Tyng, Vena, Fydan, Ayndr, Feht,
Mad dro bufanc luspeha,
Cylnat Amasahdc, syga sa fryd E fyc,
Dra syh E icat du pa,
Yht caym dro asudeuhc eh y lyka uv ela yht cduha,
Eros, rana so bmay,
Mad dro muja pa luhvehat,
NAMAYCA YHT TECBAM!!"
As he recited the last word, a bright blue flash of light lit the room and then vanished as quickly as it came. Spike stood up and noticed that the ingredients for the spell were all gone as well. "Did it bloody work?" he asked himself.
"One way to find out." He stalked toward the chest in the corner and took out a stolen photo of Buffy. He just stared at it blankly. His heart didn't flutter like it always did whenever he set his sapphire blue eyes on her, it remained unbeating. With a scoff, he chucked the picture back in its place, somewhat roughly as if it had no value anymore. Spike smirked evilly and laughed to his heart's content.
"It worked!!! I'm bloody free of her!!"