(A/N: this was inspired by an ongoing story thread on the Comic Castle board. Thanks, Dr. Doom2099.)
It was night.
BAMF! Nightcrawler appeared atop a tall building. He stared out into the night, as if waiting for something.
He didn't have to wait long.
The ground started shaking He struggled to keep his balance as the building rocked back and forth.
He teleported into a nearby alley to get a better view, and someone grabbed him. He hit his head on the wall and was knocked unconscious.
When he came to, he was in a low-ceilinged room with candles all around. He was lying on a velvet-covered couch, clad only in his boxers. Where were his clothes?
"So you're awake," a voice said. Kurt looked up and saw a beautiful stranger in Chinese silk pajamas. She sat down beside him on the velvet couch. "How's the head?"
"Hurts a little," he said, reaching up to touch it. It was then that he noticed that he was still blue and furry. His hologram watch was gone. "Vhere are my clothes?" he demanded.
"I thought you'd be more comfortable without them," she said, smiling seductively.
"I need zhem back!"
"All in due time."
There was a low rumbling sound outside. "You live near zhe subvay?"
"No," she laughed. "That's just Godzilla."
"Oh, okay." He lay back and closed his eyes. Then he opened them in alarm. "Godzilla?"
"I've told him to keep the noise down," she said, "but he never listens."
Kurt jumped up quickly. "Vhere are my clothes? I have to—"
She pushed him back down. "You don't have to do anything but lie there and rest."
"I feel fine!"
"You might have a concussion," she warned him.
"Zhere's a monster outside and you're vorried about me having a concussion?" He looked around. Ah, there was his X-Men costume, resting on the back of a chair.
He 'ported over to it, put it on (who cared what she saw? She'd been pretty close to seeing it anyway), and then teleported out into the street to deal with the threat.
"What do you mean he's gone?" Professor X demanded.
"Gone. Left. Vamoosed. Missing," Logan elaborated. "He took off."
"How could this have happened?"
"I didn't know we were supposed to tie him down! It's the Medical Ward, not the prison ward! I didn't think he was gonna get up and walk out!"
"I checked the outside sensors," Scott Summers told them. "He hasn't left the grounds. He's still in the building . . . somewhere."
"What's goin' on?" Rogue asked, coming into the room.
"Kurt's gone," said Kitty.
Rogue let out a startled moan. "Oh my God. I knew he was sick, but—"
"Not that kind of gone!" Logan said. "He's left the Medical Ward. We don't know where he is."
"Well, shouldn't we find him?"
"He probably went back to his room," Jean Grey suggested. "Why don't we start there?"
"Good idea, Jean," the Professor said. "Split up and search. See if you can locate Kurt telepathically. I'll do the same."
Kurt's sense of direction must have been screwed up. When he went out to fight Godzilla, he ended up in a sewer.
Great, he thought. How did I miss zhe street?
He could hear something skittering behind him, and resisted the urge to turn and look. Probably just rats.
Then, by the light of a grating far above, he saw them.
Sewer trolls!
Ugly little critters, they were. And armed, with what looked like miniature pickaxes.
They uttered a battle cry (which sounded something like "Gabblah!") and charged at him.
"EWWWW!" Kurt groaned, ducking out of the way. He popped up behind one of the trolls and snatched him up, throwing him into the wall. He grabbed the pickaxe and chopped a hole in the nearest wall, hoping to escape.
But instead, on the other side of the wall, he found . . .
. . . a very nasty-looking spider-being! It had robotic arms that grabbed at him, and fangs that slashed like knives at his uniform . . .
"Good news and bad news," Scott said.
"Start with the good news," said Jean.
"The good news is, we've found Kurt."
"Where?"
"That's the bad news," Scott sighed. "He's in the Danger Room."
"WHAT?"
"Why don't we just go in and get him out?" Rogue asked.
"It's not that simple. He doesn't know he's in the Danger Room. If we all rush there without any kind of warning, he might attack us by mistake."
"Poor Kurt," Kitty moaned. "Can't we do anything to help him? He might die!"
"I don't think so," Scott said. "We've already done a manual shutdown. Last I saw, he was just lying on the floor, mumbling something about furniture. I think if we move in carefully, we should be able to get him out all right."
"He's so confused," Jean said. "He doesn't know where he is or what's happening to him. If we can just get him back to the Medical Ward, we can start treating him."
"I'll get some ice," Kitty offered. "Just . . . don't hurt him?"
The spider-thing was gone, but now Kurt didn't know where he was.
He was staring up at an unfamiliar ceiling, spotted yellow from water stains. He sat up and looked around.
"Oh no, you mustn't do that," a voice from behind him said. "You lie back down like a good boy."
It was a woman's voice, and it sounded vaguely familiar . . .
"Kitty?"
She came into view, and his breath caught in his throat. It was the woman from before.
No, it wasn't. Her hair was a different color—more brown than black, and her chin was sharper.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"Someone who loves you," she said. She spread a blue-and-white crocheted afghan over him. "You just rest, and I'll bring you some tea."
"But I don't . . ." She was already gone.
She came back with a mug and a plateful of sandwiches. "How's my little patient doing?"
Before he could answer, she stuck a thermometer in his mouth.
Then the room turned upside down. Kurt felt his head spinning as the floor and the ceiling changed places, but somehow the couch stayed exactly where it was. "Vat is going on?" he mumbled around the thermometer.
"Ah, ah, ah!" she scolded him. "Don't talk. Not till I'm finished with the giraffes."
He blinked at her—he couldn't possibly have heard that right. "Vat did you say?"
"I thought I told you not to talk," she said. Her hair changed color as he was looking at her, from brown to red. He had to be losing his mind.
Then she turned blue, and he started in alarm. It was his mother, Mystique.
She took the thermometer out. "Oh, my poor baby. You're burning up! You have a temperature of 225!"
Now he knew he wasn't hearing her right. 225? He'd be dead!
The far wall vanished. In its place was a wooden dock on a beautiful lake.
Suddenly Mystique picked him up off the couch. "Vat are you doing?" Kurt demanded.
"Sweetheart," she said, "I'm doing this for your own good."
Then she dumped him in the lake.
"Something very weird is going on in there," Jean said. "Kurt's just lying on the floor, making burbling sounds."
"Is he okay?" Rogue asked anxiously.
"For now."
"Then we should get him outta there while we can!" Rogue insisted.
Kurt began to thrash around, calling, "Muzzer, no! Don't . . . don't!"
"I'm goin' in." Rogue started to rush into the Danger Room, but Scott stopped her.
"I'll go," he said. "In case he starts to freak out again, let's trip the fail-safe circuits and pull him out." With that, Scott entered the Danger Room, where Kurt was lying on the floor, making swimming motions.
Kurt was trying desperately to swim to the surface (and at the same time dodge the ever-present sewer trolls), when he saw Scott standing on the surface of the water. "Vat are you doing here? I didn't know you could valk on vater!"
"Kurt, you're hallucinating! There is no water! We need to get you back to bed right away." Scott extended a hand toward the delirious boy. "Come with me—"
Mystique was standing behind him.
"NOOOOOOOOO! No, Mama, don't!" Kurt shouted, jumping up and trying to grab at her as she disappeared.
Then he was on the rooftop again. "This is not good," Scott said, as Kurt fought off another attack of the sewer trolls.
"Gabbilah!" The trolls were all over him, trying to tear his head off. "Bagah!"
"Help me!" Kurt called to Scott, who just stood there. "Do somezing!"
"I need some help here!" Scott yelled to the others as Kurt fought off the sewer trolls.
Rogue wasted no time in shifting direction to pull Kurt out before he hurt himself. "C'mon, Blue, forget about sewer trolls and let's get you home before you really hurt yourself." Her hand brushed his forehead. God, he's really done a number on himself since he's been down here. "Professor! We need a first aid kit on the double! And a stretcher!"
"Gazibah!" said a sewer troll as he pounded on Kurt's head.
"Get it off me!" Kurt shouted. He couldn't believe the others were just standing there while a sewer troll tried to kill him.
"Bagah!" Another troll jumped on his chest and tried to separate Kurt's head from his body.
Kurt screamed at the top of his lungs, and still the others stood there and did nothing. Then he felt something sting him on the inside of his arm and the sewer trolls began to fade away. "Vat . . .?"
Then everything went dark.
(A/N: Don't worry! He'll be okay! Stay tuned for Part 2, coming soon!)