Rating: PG for some minor cussing. (Sorry but it's not likely they'd say, "Oh shuckey durn!" * shakes head* don't think it's going to happen.)
Archive: Email me first.
Category: Carby baby!
Spoilers: Have you seen Season 8, episodes 1 (Four Corners) and 2 (The Longer You Stay)? If so, then you're good.
Author's Notes: Okay, I have to admit, when I first wrote this story, I REALLY didn't like it; it just seemed to be missing something. But, then, I was re-reading this really cool book, Watership Down, because I found out it was barely in my ZPD range and it was worth 25 AR points (long, drawn out school thing; I won't bore you with the details) and this quote came along. I had never really paid attention to it before (there's a little quote in the beginning of each chapter), but when I re-read it, I thought it was pretty cool; so I wrote it down. Then, when I was doing the horrid duty of yard work and listening to my CD player simultaneously, it just clicked. The quote was what was missing. So I added it in, changed a little bit here and there, and said, "Dear God, I hope this doesn't suck too horribly" and gave it a whirl, so here it is- Be nice, please!
~*~
Previously on ER -
Carter: "Yeah, in case you can't find anyone better."
~
Luka: "I'm done with it. Carter can have you!!"
Abby: "Okay."
~*~
"The power of the night, the press of the storm,
"the post of the foe
"Where he stands, the Arch fear in a visible form,
"Yet, the strong man must go."
*
Robert Browning, Sprospice
~*~
Screw the guy who came up with the whole `You can't run away from your problems' idea. That jerk obviously had NO idea what he was talking about.
I see my problem: A) There is no way I will ever be promoted to an Attending Position as long as I'm at County. It's hopeless; I'm at the end of the rope. Pathetic, isn't it?
and B) I am head over heels in love with Abby Lockhart and I'm about to fall flat on my ass; she doesn't feel the same way. At all.
So there is my problem. My solution? I need to leave. Soon. It's the only way I can go on.
~*~
Okay, so Luka broke up. I'm fine with that. The part that bothers me is that I'm so relieved. I mean I shouldn't feel like this; We were in a relationship for over a year, I should feel horrible. All I feel is liberation. Maybe it's because I'm not in love with Luka. I'm in love with someone else.
I can't honestly say I didn't suspect that I loved him. There were so many times when I felt... something towards him. But, being Abby, I wrote them off as plain hormonal attractions. High School stuff. Then, there were times when I could tell I felt more than just hormones; I felt that scary 4-letter word. Love. And that's what really scares me.
~*~
All it would take was something as effortless as picking up a phone, dialing, and saying, "Yes." That was all that he had to do. One little word and he would be rid of it all. So why was it so hard to do it? Why couldn't he just leave? He had to be strong. He was going to do it. Today.
~*~
Cook County General Hospital
~*~
Abby paused at the entry of the hospital. It had been nearly a week since she and Luka had broken up. She could feel the nurses' eyes on here as she entered, along with some whispering. Number one hospital rule: Gossip travels faster then the speed of light. Her heart froze as she saw Carter, apparently on hold, at Admit. What did he think about the news? Had he even heard it? She started to walk towards him, her hands shaking; a truly sophisticated sight, when she saw Luka march in the room, his usual arrogance present. He eyed her for a minute, and then barked at Carter, "Carter, why aren't you working on a patient?" Looking him over, he evenly replied, "I'm waiting for Wiseman to get on the phone so I can transfer a patient." Thrown off guard, Luka awkwardly replied, "Ok, well, try to speed it up." "All right," Carter said, and continued to wait on the phone. `Oh good Lord,' Abby thought. He's taking our breakup out on Carter. Would he EVER grow up? "Abby," Luka griped, "You're late." "No, Luka, I'm not," Abby retorted, "My shift begins at 3:00, not 2:00. I'm early." Luka, dumbfounded, stuttered, "Okay. Well, um.... Abby, I'm not going to do this. We broke up; people do it every day, on every continent. Let's be friends, okay?" "First of all Luka: I was perfectly willing to be friends; that was all you. I did want to be friends, but I'm not going to do all the work and try to make an effort. Whatever happens happens; I don't particularly care." And with that she walked off.
~*~
Carter glanced over an evidently tense situation; Luka and Abby, although whispering, were obviously fighting. Abby walked off, leaving Luka with his mouth hanging open. He heard Chuny and Haleh talking, "Well, they apparently haven't reached the friends stage yet." Carter chimed in, "What are you talking about?" Chuny, misunderstanding him, explained, "You know, when you break up; making a transition to friends." `Abby and Luka broke up?", he thought, but pretended not to be shocked, but instead acted like he were rather stupid when it cam to relationships; not that it was all that hard to do. "Oh yeah, all that post-relationship stuff." Escaping the possibility that someone would have gotten what he really meant, he left to go `check on a patient.' That settled it. Abby and Luka had broken up, as he had learned, over a week ago. If she were interested in him, or even cared about him, she would have mentioned it. She was making it crystal clear that she wasn't interested. He needed to go find Weaver.
~*~
Carter finally found her. "Doctor Weaver, I need to talk to you." Pausing from her journey to the elevator, she sighed, "Later Carter." "It's important," he persisted. Looking at the door, she turned and complained, "This better be important Carter," and walked into the lounge. Doctor Greene was already there, waiting. Carter closed the door behind them. "What's this about Carter," Dr. Greene asked impatiently. "Well, um..." Carter trailed off. How could he say this? Dr. Weaver and Dr. Greene exchanged nervous glances. "Is everything okay Carter," Dr. Greene cautiously asked. Carter replied honestly, "No, it isn't. And the only way it will be okay is if I leave." Ignoring the gasps, he continued, "It's all right, I'm not on narcotics, I'm not drinking. But I need to leave, or I won't be fine." Dr. Weaver, frowning a little questioned, "Why? You've worked here forever; you can't just leave. What's wrong?" "Not to sound like a bad teenage break up line, but it's not you, it's me. Both of you guys have been amazing to me. I've never been close to my parents. You guys have completely replaced them for me. I have you guys to thank for so much. I have worked here for a long time, and there are a lot of memories here; both good and bad. But lately, they all seem to be bad. There are a bunch of problems here for me; I'm not going to go into all the details, I'll just leave it at the main point; I need to leave." Carter, what's wrong?" Dr. Greene said, insisting, "I'm sure we can work it out." "No," Carter replied, shaking his head, "We can't. I wish we could but we can't; it's not that simple." "But Carter..." Dr. Weaver tried. Carter decided to go ahead and let them in on more, after all, he wouldn't be there to receive the consequences, "The problem is I just don't feel like I should be at this hospital anymore. The main problem is I'm in love with somebody who has made it pretty clear she doesn't feel the same way. And I need to leave." Then he walked out of the room, adding, "I'll fax my official letter of resignation tomorrow from Boston. Good bye." Carter felt a mixture of both empowerment and despair as he left. But, he had to do it; he was going to stay strong. And that meant leaving it all, including Abby. Especially Abby.
~*~
Ta da! The end! So, shall I continue? If you think I should, note the pretty little box. If not, please don't flame me; I will give them to my friend, Queenie the pyromaniac, and they will be used to torch others' houses.
~Tori
P.S. Yeah, I know that I should have continued my other story first, but... "I have not yet begun to procrastinate", as my good friend Jay would say. Anyways, pay attention to the lovely little review thing please!