Small Malments
'Even though she tried to hurt me , even after the years of being told I wasn't good enough she is still my mother and I want her here.'
Graduating
I look at all of the celebrating prince and princesses with their parents. Ben is with his mother and father taking pictures and discussing with Ben his plans for our weekend away with our friends to celebrate our graduation. Probably bothering him with their rules and such. His mother probably over reacting to the fact that Ben and I will be in a house without adult supervision.
Everyone is smiling cheerily and excited with the prospects of their future. Trying to recall on old memories together and their parents are smiling proudly at their children. Looking at each other with such love and adoration, I want to punch them in the face.
Carlos , Jay , and Evie are laughing together with Lonnie , Jane , an Doug. They were probably planning what things we would be doing. Yet while all of that is happening around me I just stand here feeling alone. Feeling numb to the love that everyone around me was feeling.
A part of me is happy that I'm finally done with school and that now I can focus on my magic and the rest of my life . Doing good and evil things , being free to make a name for myself apart from being Maleficent's daughter or Ben's girlfriend. I can be free to be Mal. I am not completely immune to the goodness happening around me. It is just that I want my mother to be here.
As crazy as it sounds I just want to see her looking proudly at me as much as other parents are looking at their children. I want to be standing here in my cap and gown with my mother who is taking way to many pictures of me and talking about inappropriate stories with the king and queen. I want here here to be making way to big of a deal of my graduation and telling me to be safe with my friends and Ben this weekend. But that's not who my mother is. Even after the past year and a half she has yet to grow past being the size of a lizard. I wish I could give her some of my love but I know that is not possible.
I still have hope that I will have a mom who will love me but until then I have to accept that this is what I have.
Even though she tried to hurt me , even after the years of being told I wasn't good enough she is still my mother and I want her here.
So this is just the start of a series of small moments in Mals life in which she thinks of her mother.