DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight or its characters.
(This is the disclaimer for the rest of the story)
A/N: I know that if you've read my other stories you'd be like "WHAT? ANOTHER ONE?! ARE YOU CRAZY? HOW ARE YOU PLANNING ON WRITING 6, NOW 7, STORIES?!" simple answer: I have no idea. The scary thing is…I have three more stories I plan on writing as well. I swear I'm not okay in the head. I can't seem to stop being able to think of these stories up. They just won't leave me alone. perhaps it's a reaction to the ending of the Twilight series…who knows?
Now I'm rambling….
Anyways, as you can read below, this is only the prologue. I fully intend to finish my stories, so if anyone is worried about that…you can stop hyperventilating right now. I warn you there will be many sad moments, ones that will make you cry and your heart lurch. But that's later on.
Prologue
What the fuck is love?
Is it perhaps ~
Comfort…
Peace of mind…
Yearning for a special someone…
Safety…
Some connection felt only with one other person…
Or perhaps is it someplace to call home?
We can love in many ways. There's the love of a family member. A friend. A lover. Etc.
Do we perhaps seek these things all our lives? Are we even aware of it? Do we ever know? How?
How do you know when you've found The One? Are there fireworks? Does your body electrify merely by the near proximity of that certain person, of their touch? Or is that lust, sheer stupidity? Maybe not…
How do you really know you've been in the presence of your soul mate? Is there even such a thing? Could one person really be destined to another? Have we no choice?...
Do we even want that choice?
I never knew.
I went living my young naïve life thinking, "This is okay for me. Perfectly fine." I was wrong. I thought my friends and family was all I needed. It was high school that messed it all up – specifically my junior year.
Things were great the summer before. I had my best friends, one I favored among the rest. We hung out always. Our families were close. We were close.
We'd run from home in the middle of the night, just to meet up because daytime just wasn't enough for us. Sometimes one of us would leave the window open at night so the other could sneak in yet get back home in time so that our parents wouldn't notice our absence.
We always got away with it. Or maybe they already knew about it.
We may have been different genders, a boy and a girl, while others deemed such a thing strange we never felt weird about it. We were comfortable. We were home. Was that love? Of a friend, it sure felt that way at the time but you never know…
I never thought I would find love, especially not one so difficult. I never thought I would even ever love someone. I was a nerd… a geek… a dweeb whatever you want to call me…the list was endless.
We had two other friends beside each other. Angela and Ben. They were a couple. We never felt weird that we were the only ones who didn't have someone. At least, that's what we told ourselves.
Junior year it all changed. My friend and I both liked someone. Who it was we never said… that is until help was needed. We were close so we owed each other favors.
Who knew that everything would've gone downhill from there? A simple favor didn't seem like much, but it sure caused so much drama. I knew my friend inside and out, just like they knew me. Yet we always surprised each other with new things.
I guess things changed. During all the drama I found myself confused, my feelings changing but I didn't want to acknowledge them so I casted them away. Until I seem to come into terms with my feelings. But by then it was too late.
I didn't know what to do. How would you handle such change in a short time? Would you embrace it, let it change you, let I guide you? I had no clue what to do. My parents knew how I apparently felt before I did.
I may be smart when it comes to school, but I was obviously not when it came to matters of the heart. I was too blind to see what was in front of me until it was too late.
Dear god, I was in love with my best friend.
I wanted to be close to them. To hold them, to touch their skin, their face. That softness. I wanted to run my hands through their wonderful hair.
I longed to kiss those soft lips, to have them moving against mine. I wanted the intense love I had for my best friend to be reciprocated. I wished for many things to happen, but that's all they could be. Wishes.
I was in love with my best friend.
For while I tried to figure out how I felt, their life moved on as did mine. I felt empty, cold and vacant. Only they could fill me up again, only they could save me from this anguish I felt. This self-hatred I had for not noticing in time.
I was in love with my best friend.
It was plain and simple, right? No. It wasn't. Nothing ever was for me anymore. I had to watch from the sidelines as the person I loved searched for someone else. How I wish I could yell that the one they were looking for was me that I was right in front of them.
I was in love with my best friend.
Things happened too quickly and I didn't notice that time was rapidly decreasing. I never saw it coming. While my mind tried to catch up to what my heart already knew, everything changed.
Events occurred and when I was finally ready to consciously realize that I was in love with my best friend, it was over before it even began.
It hurt. I won't lie. I wished they could see me. Really see me, like I saw them.
The strange thing was that my best friend did love me, fully in love with me but things got screwed up. I was screwed up. I was confused. I had yet to come to terms with my feelings.
I needed them like I need air – no, I need my best friend more than air. Without my One, I was lost. I was no one. I wished and longed for them to see me. To finally stop looking and just SEE me…truly see me.
The fluttering of my heart whenever they'd talk to me. The rapid beating that only increased the second they spoke. Their voice. Like an angel's. The warmth of their body that just radiates when they're close to mine; it was all there.
The way I seem to always brighten up when I see them, see their eyes looking back at me. My body just buzzed when their eyes seem to pierce through me, staring into my soul, my very being.
If I was ever sad or bored, there my best friend was….to comfort me and lift my moods. Their very presence brightened me up, giving me energy. I could feel the connection we had. But I ignored it. Ignorance wasn't always bliss.
Ignorance cost me my heart. Ignorance gave me this pain in my chest. God, the never ending pain I feel for never seeing it. I was too late. Wasn't I?
How do you react? How do you keep on living knowing that the one person you needed in your life more than anything in the world couldn't see you? ...wouldn't see you?
But they wouldn't. And then they had done what I had feared.
I was stupid.
I never knew… I was in love with my best friend, but I didn't realize until it was too late – because they were in love with someone else.
Do I fight for them, or do I stand by in the sidelines and watch, as my heart breaks?
A/N: Can anyone figure out if this is EPOV or BPOV? Or maybe both? Who knows? …well I do but that's beside the point. I hoped you like it. Sorry if it's too repetitive. I tried to tone it down. Next chapter will be a BPOV for sure. Rarely will I have an EPOV, well…early on in the story anyways. They will increase as things get difficult and start changing for the characters. More details about the story will be given in the next chapter. Whichever POV you think it is, you'll probably be wrong the first time around.
Please review. Tell me what you think….
-- Elizabeth --