These characters are not mine.
Steve/Bucky slash. Songfiction. "I'll Be Home For Christmas", written and composed by Kim Gannon, Walter Kent, and Buck Ram, as performed by Bing Crosby.
THe song now reminds me of my late grandmother, rest her soul; she missed Grandpa as it was during World War II and this song made her cry, especially since she could easily find herself a widow in the blink of an eye, within five years of her wedding. Thank goodness Grandma and Grandpa have left their progeny and were happily married for just over 68 years. I love them and miss them.
I'll Be Home For Christmas
Bucky tried to forget as he and the other troops went through their daily routines that this would be his first Christmas away from home, away from Steve. Although he put on a brave face, he still felt like crying. He'd left his heart in Brooklyn, left the boy he loved.
In his wildest imagination, he never thought that after he and his men were captured by HYDRA and torturous medical experiments performed on him, that Steve, newly-transformed into the superhuman Captain America, would save him and all the other captives. Safe and reunited with Steve, who had become a tall, strapping supersoldier, Bucky no longer cared about the niceties of Christmas; they were just detail. As long as he had the man he loved beside him, he didn't care if Christmas was just reduced to singing carols around a campfire.
To Bucky's immense horror, Zola and HYDRA had managed to recapture him and transform him into their version of Captain America- the Winter Soldier.
Bucky could hardly believe that he and Steve were both still alive, seven decades after both had been reported M.I.A., in 2014. His tortured brain kept him awake as memory after memory returned to him from beneath the reach of the memory wipes.
The life that he and Steve had known before, all their friends, everything was fading as the twenty-first century continued to open. It would be so difficult for Bucky, to battle the demons that HYDRA had inflicted upon him, to return to Steve… but he had to do it. Deep beneath the harsh conditioning of HYDRA, Bucky still longed for home… for Steve, although the exact nature of their relationship was slowly returning to his mind.
The icy wind swept through him like knives as a light but steady cascade of snow clung to his clothes, his face. Winter in Washington D.C. was hardly better than winter in Brooklyn. Bucky looked like a homeless man and he knew it. He knew that he looked bedraggled. But he also knew that he needed a disguise to deter any remnants of HYDRA.
Steve…! He knew that Steve was living in Washington D.C., that Steve must be trying to find him. As difficult as it felt to return to a life where he was loved and safe from cruelty, Bucky knew deep down that he wanted to regain that. He wanted at least some form of Christmas celebration with Steve and his newfound friends… he wanted to come home to Steve.
As Bucky gazed at the window that he remembered as Steve's apartment, he remembered how he was before Steve saved him and the Howling Commandoes. None of them knew if they would ever see home again, let alone celebrate Christmas with families. Steve's sweet face haunted Bucky as Christmas came and went that first year in the army. He knew that Steve missed him desperately, just as desperately as he missed Steve. Bucky refused to let it bother him that he was worlds away from home and the boy he loved.
Tears stung his eyes and he winced. As frightening as this was to march into that building and knock on Steve's door, the pain of yearning for Steve had returned to him with a vengeance.
Steve was slumped in a chair, exhausted from yet another day of traipsing with Sam in their efforts to find Bucky. Christmas for him would never be the same without Bucky; it meant nothing without him. While he felt tears stinging his eyes, he refused to give in to them. He knew that Bucky was out there somewhere.
A knock at the door interrupted Steve's thoughts. He tried to keep his hopes in check, since he knew that Bucky would be resistant to this hunt and would only surrender himself when he was ready.
Padding to the door, Steve opened it and gasped. While the man who stood in the corridor was unshaven, dressed like a beggar, and looked exhausted and frightened, Steve instantly recognized his face.
Bucky was home…! He had to be dreaming…!
"Bucky-?!" Steve gasped breathlessly. His face was a mix of so many different emotions, and his eyes… those big blue eyes that Bucky feared he would never see again, Bucky knew how close to tears that Steve was as his eyes went glassy.
"Steve…!" Bucky choked out, "I'm so sorry…!"
Before Bucky knew it, Steve had thrown his arms around him, afraid that this was just another dream and yet afraid of hurting Bucky. Although the instinct to flee had not left him, Bucky remembered enough now to know that he was safe with Steve.
"You're home! Thank god you're home…!" Steve sobbed into Bucky's neck as they reflexively slipped into the apartment, shutting the door behind them.
Both of them were crying now, crying in relief and pure joy that they were together again after so long apart and so much turmoil.
"Sam and I have gone out any time that we could spare to try and find you…!"
Steve's voice was brittle as he stroked Bucky's tousled hair, trying to dodge any tangles.
"I finally remembered who you were before you fell from the carrier-!" Bucky gasped as he burrowed into Steve's shoulder, "I was afraid to come home to you just like that. HYDRA still has some hold on me, but I couldn't take it anymore. I remember us, now. I remember our life before the War…!"
Steve planted eager but gentle kisses over Bucky's face, trying to kiss his lover's tears away before Bucky raised his lips to capture Steve's. Clumsy at first, the kiss was like throwing oil onto smouldering embers.
After several deep, passionate kisses and they parted for breathe, Bucky murmured, "I promised that I would be home for Christmas, Babe…! I just had to keep that promise~!"
Steve sniggered, relieved to hear those words and dispelling tension as Bucky also chuckled fondly.
"You're the best gift that I could ever hope for Christmas, Bucky," Steve murmured into Bucky's ear.
"Merry Christmas, Babe~!" Bucky crooned.
"Merry Christmas, Soldier~!" Steve squeezed him in response.
"Let's cuddle. I need you, Babe…!" Bucky murmured before they tumbled onto the couch.