Author's notes: Hi! It's my first time to write a Life is Strange story... and it's been a year since I last wrote here in ff. Hahahaha I know Pricefield and Marshfield are like the hottest couple in LiS but from the very begging I've always liked Warren Graham and I do think Max like him in some way more than just a brother... (she's in denial.. hahahaha) I really ship Marren Grahamfield SO HARD! So I checked for any fanfic I can read about them... sadly, there's too few of them, and I'm not satisfied. So I wrote one... I hope everyone enjoys this! :) Marren Grahamfield for the win!
Disclaimer: I obviously do not own Life is Strange... I've run out of anything witty to say.
What are You Thinking?
It's been a month since I first saw her. Maxine Caulfield is just so attractively mysterious that I just can't help but be drawn to her; and I am not the only one. She tries so hard not to get noticed that she stands out even more; even the socialites like Nathan Prescott and Victoria Chase, the King and Queen of Blackwell, and the famous photographer Mr. Mark Jefferson take notice of her.
But I can't blame them. Like I've said, she's mysterious and she doesn't need to try hard enough to get noticed; she's just herself. She has the eyes that can see the magnificence in everything. I bet she can even turn something miserable and terrible into something beautiful with just the click of her camera. And she sees the good in everything, though I can see that she also see the bad. I really don't understand most of what she's saying or doing… but I'm fascinated by her. I wanted to know more of her, I wanted to know what's inside her mind. Sorry… I'm such a creep. If all of what I'm saying isn't hint enough that I like her, then I'm going to say it. Yes, I do like her… a lot.
I don't know if she knows. I think she does. I'm just so awfully obvious like that… but I do know she doesn't feel the same. I'm totally stuck in the friendzone. Sucks for me. I tried to like somebody else, but in the end Max is still the one I'm truly head over heels with.
Then this week have been crazy, and I felt there was something wrong with Max. I mean, that time we met at the parking lot last Monday so I can get my flashdrive back… she was so intense. I know she wanted to tell me something, and I'm very much willing to listen and help. But then Nathan Prescott, THE Nathan Prescott, came in and confronted her. I felt the need to protect her. He's hurting her so why shouldn't I intervene? I swooped in a fight with Nathan, something I've never really done before, and I was terribly losing… still I was thinking of Max and that I should buy her as much time as I can with my wimpy body. Then a blue-haired punk chic came rushing in with a truck and took Max away from the scene. I sighed in relief before I realized I'm still Nathan's punching bag. Good thing, Mr. Madsen came to rescue me.
I know Max wasn't really into me, but I wanted to know what was happening. I wanted to know who the blue-haired gal was, why Nathan came to confront her, what she wanted to tell me before Nathan intervened. But most of all, I wanted to know if she even thinks of me. I mean, I just became a punching bag for something I don't even understand, for her, can't she even ask if I'm alright? I guess, I really don't have any space inside that beautiful head of hers. She didn't even contact me. Of course, I'm hurt; my ego just turn down a notch if I even had one, but I know she's just had a lot going on. God! How I wish can see what she's thinking! Maybe that way I can be of help of her… and maybe in some way she will think of me too.
Oh wait… she did contact me… or I did. Yep, I was the one who called. We didn't talk much but she ask me of all the things I know about Quantum Physics and Time Travelling, so I refer her to what I know. It puzzled me why she would suddenly ask of such things, but I hope I have helped her. I was still so worried of her so I waited outside her dorm so I can chat with her. I wanted to guilt-trip her for not calling me and asking about how I'm doing after being her knight, but I can see she's tired so I didn't push. Instead I asked her who that blue-haired girl is and why Nathan was after her, but she only answered briefly. God! She's driving me crazy with all these secrets and shits! I don't know what to say anymore but I wanted to chat with her more, to be with her more, so I suggested that in exchange for being beaten-up for her we should watch a movie. I really hope that it will clear her head even for a bit… she just looks so lost in thought. She agreed… and though I said it was for her, I felt thrilled to spend more time with her.
I felt so clingy, and I'm not even her boyfriend, but I really want to spend so much time with her, help her with what I can offer. I bugged her so much… I even asked her to help me on a science project, just for the excuse to be with her. Or maybe I did need help, but Max isn't the best in science; still, I chose her. And I'm glad I did. I don't even know how she can be so amazing in both art and science. Sigh… I really like her…
Then, I don't really know what's happening, but I saw Kate Marsh running and crying down the hall. I know Kate was a good friend of Max, she is a good friend of mine too, so I tried to talk to her, but it didn't bear fruit. I told Max what I saw, I can see she's worried. I am worried too. Maybe, the bullying was really that bad. I suddenly felt hatred for myself. How could I have let this happen to Kate? She's the sweetest person I know and yet I didn't do anything to help her from the bullying… Then the commotion happened. Kate tried to kill herself, every one of us, including me, can only watch as Kate tried to jump off the roof of the dormitory. Alyssa was so distraught, she was shaking, so I comforted her… maybe I can comfort myself too. Now, I know I'm not the only one regretting not doing anything to save Kate. Then, a miracle happened. Max saved Kate. Kate is alive because of Max. I can feel my admiration for Max reaching its highest. She's amazing; when everyone can only watch Kate, she's the only one who went to the roof to save her. But I'm not the only one who appreciates Max, the whole Blackwell Academy is in love with her now. I guess, more competition… if Max actually cares about fame and other people's admiration.
But the most unbelievable thing happened, Max sought me for company! That was a first! We talked mostly of Kate, and I keep gushing out on how amazing she is for saving Kate and how I feel regretful for being "part of the crowd" and seeing Kate's video for one and a half times. Max told me what she was thinking; again, another first! I was so thrilled! She's opening up to me! She told me that she thinks Kate's almost death and Rachel Amber's absence are related and that Nathan and Mr. Madsen knows something about it. Gah! Her thoughts are more complicated than science, or maybe it's just because I'm not really into conspiracy theories. But she opened up to me so I tried my best to tell her what I think; I do agree something was wrong with Nathan and Mr. Madsen. I asked her what she think was really happening in Blackwell; I want to know more of what she's thinking. That was when we got distracted by an eclipse. It wasn't common and there was no news of a coming eclipse, so it was both beautiful and creepy. With that, Max told me she'd believe anything. I really don't understand, but with the snow and the eclipse for just two days, I think I will believe anything too.
A few hours later, Max texted me to find out how to hypothetically create a device to open up a hypothetically locked door. I was rather confused and surprised, I really wonder what she's thinking and why she'd ask for something like that, but I am willing to help her with everything I can. So I offered her instructions to a pipe bomb. I'm pretty sure she was lying about how hypothetical her situation is, so I asked her, worried, if she had blown herself to bits. She reassured me with a brief text, though I was hoping for a longer conversation. I guess she's preoccupied. I asked her again in the morning about the explosive and if it worked, she lied to me and told me she's just checking if I do know how to create one. I don't even know why she lied and I don't think I want to know. It might just hurt me… after opening up to me, I guess she still don't trust me that much. Instead of pushing it, I told her again of the movie we are going to see. I'm just that excited.
We didn't interact that much after. I guess she's pretty busy with Chloe Price, the blue-haired girl that saved Max. They're childhood friends, and they had a lot of catching up to do so I don't really mind… though I hope I can see more of her. Maybe they're doing some research of Kate and Rachel's situation; I wish they'll let me join them. But I was also doing a bit of my own research with all the recent events of snow and of the eclipse, and of the washed up whales. I don't know if science can actually explain this… maybe the end of the world is nearing. I hope I was wrong.
These whole end-of-the-world theory is getting to me, I needed fresh air so I went out to do that. I was surprised to see Max being confronted by Nathan again. I'm so sick of this… what more does Nathan wants? He had already hurt Max before, he also had hurt and almost driven Kate to her death (If Max's theory is right), and he just hurts everybody… what more does he want?
I was so angry that I just swooped in again and went to head-butt him. He fell to the ground and pulled a gun; I was quick enough to kick the gun from his hold. I don't even know what happened, all the anger just went to me and I went berserk on him. He was begging me to stop and I don't think I would have stop if Max didn't hold me off. I just realized what I did after… it both made me feel awful and amazing. Amazing because I now know how it feels like to be the one punching and it's THE Nathan Prescott I was punching; and awful because… no matter who it is, it's bad to hurt someone… even Nathan. I know Chloe was impressed, but I seemed to scare Max away. I don't blame her, I'm scared of myself too. I tried to stick with her, to know if I can help more… but Max and Chloe seems to want me out of the loop. Maybe it's for my own good. At least, they trust me enough to let me investigate Nathan and his father. I sure hope I can help them, along with my research on the oddity of everything that's happening in Arcadia Bay.
After that encounter, I holed myself in my room, researching and contemplating yet I can't get the thought of Nathan's bloody face off my head. Again, I went out for a breeze. I went to the end-of-the-world party, thinking maybe I'll see Max there and got a little drunk. I decided to go back to my room and research some more when I met Chloe and Max, both of them looked so intense but maybe I was just drunk. I feel the need to be closer to Max, even for a moment. It feels like the end of the world is really coming, and I wanted to spend even just a little more time with Max. Chloe wasn't so happy, but if the end of the world is really right around the corner, I want my last memory to be with Max. So even when I do know I'm a hindrance to their "mission-like" agenda for going to the party tonight, I asked Max to take a photo with me. Max agreed and it pissed Chloe more. I told Max what I really feel punching Nathan like that, she told me to spy Nathan more and to take care. I told her I have my way of being invisible here in Blackwell, and she told me I wasn't invisible to her. I wonder if it's true; I wonder what she meant.
That night I couldn't fall asleep. Something was really amiss… and it's all so complicated. I also want to see Max again; as I've thought, a picture won't do. I wonder what she's doing. I fell asleep clutching our last photo together. I want to help her more… I want to know her more…
Knock, knock. I woke up with an urgent knocking on my door. I looked at my clock and saw that it was just 2 in the morning, I wonder who could that be. Still sleepy, I went to answer the door. I was surprised to see Max outside my door, she immediately came in and closed the door. I must still be sleeping… Max is here in my room. What the hell?! I must have summon the Max of my dreams into existence.
"Warren…" she called, she looks intense and miserable. I really want to hug her, but what if she's just my hallucination? I don't want to erase her into existence when I hug her, like those in movies.
"Uhm… am I dreaming?" I asked. Then she cried… and I immediately know I'm not dreaming.
"I don't know what to do… I don't know who to trust…" she mumbled in a low voice; still I heard. I neared towards her and awkwardly hug her. That's the only thing I can do. Unsurprisingly, she stepped back before I can actually hug her. She wiped her tears away, maybe she realized she had broken down in front of me.
"Maybe it was wrong of me to come to you… sorry… Warren…" she said as she hurriedly walked towards the door. I stopped her before she can even reach the door.
"Max, what's wrong? You know you can tell me anything…" I told her.
She looked at me with distrust, though, I can see she was hoping she can trust me. "Can I trust you Warren?"
I felt a little hurt and confused, why is she even asking me this? "Of course you can trust me. We're on the same team." I took her hand and enclosed them on mine. "You know, I'm always going to be on your side. Come on, tell what it is…"
"I don't know… I don't know anymore. I don't know which is right and which is wrong. I don't know what is good and what is bad anymore. I don't even know if I can trust anyone or anything… even myself. I'm scared, Warren… I'm scared of what's happening. I'm scared of what I could do. I don't want to scare you too…" she said; she keeps looking around but to me.
"Hey, hey…" I called out, trying to calm her down, "I won't be scared of you. And even if I become, for a certain circumstance, become scared of you; I will still be by your side. I will never let my fear drive me to abandon you. I will never abandon you, Max." I said.
Max, surprisingly, hugged me. I can feel her warm tears soaking my shirt. I don't know what I can do for her, I really hope I can help her one way or another. But right now, all I can do is embrace her as I let her cry out whatever is stressing her out. And maybe listen to whatever she wants to unload from her chest.
"I'm fucked up… I'm so fucked up… even then, would you still believe me?" she asked quietly, still quivering as she continued to cry.
"Max, I will always believe you. I want to help you. I want to be there for you. If only you would open up to me, maybe I can of more use to you. Sometimes, I wish I can see what's going on inside your head so that I'll know how to respond…"
"My mind is a messed up place… you won't want to see what's inside of it." She said.
I can't resist it. I held her cheeks with my hand and stared at her before I said, "No matter how fuck up it is. No matter how scary your thoughts are or how messed up you think you are. I still want to know, I still want to find out what you're thinking. I always will want to know what you're thinking. Please, tell me…"
She cried again, "Warren… I… I don't even know where to begin…"
I smiled at her and led her to sit with me on my bed. I hope she trusts me enough now to tell me what really is going on so I can give my best to help her. I really want to be of use to you, Max Caulfield.
A/N: Uhh... so that happened... hahahahaha I know, it's not much, and there's a lot of mushy lines, but I really enjoyed writing it. I hope you enjoyed reading it too! Please tell me what you think? :)