(Jeans Point Of View)

Lies. That's all they are. They're all just some little lies that they tell. But why? Why then, why do I believe them? Because, they're true. I tried so hard to push those thoughts away, but I can't. I can't because they're true, every single word they tell me is painfully absolutely true. I have so many questions. Like, where's Marco? Or Why him, why not me instead?, Why did everyone give up? Where are you Marco?

I was just sitting there, just sitting there watching as one of my good friends Armin talked vividly about his summer trip to England and how grand or extravagant everything was. But, I really wasn't paying attention, I could see his lips moving but the sound wasn't comprehending with my ears. Looking over to my right, my eyes caught how extraordinary and beautifully blue the sky was. I sighed. Life was boring.

"-ean!, Hey Jean!" I heard someone calling my name but didn't bother to look over until I felt a tug on my sweater.

"What?" I turned to my side to see that my bald headed friend Connie was trying to get my attention.

"Are you even paying attention? Sasha was telling us all about how we were going to host a small going away party for Annie. She got accepted into the Military, and she's going to be going over seas for seven months. You in?"

Oh, that's right. Annie got in the Military, it was always her life long dream from whenever she was in the fifth grade.

"Oh, yeah sure." I answered boredly then went back to looking out the window still searching for the airplane that was supposed to be flying in at any moment now.

'C'mon, any second now. Land.' I thought. Today was the day. Today was the day I was finally going to do it. I had it all planned out, when he got off the plane, I'd be there in the airport just waiting for him to come walking over to me-No, running over to me while I hug him and never want to let go but I have to. I'm going to ask him the question I'd been dying to ask ever since Middle School and we were only 13. Now, we're basically adults and I can ask the question I've been wanting to since forever.

I droned out everything everyone else was saying for what was about an hour more. Then, in the sky, I saw it. The airplane. I automatically jumped out of my seat without so much as saying a farewell or anything just grabbed my keys and ran outside. As I ran out and into the early Autumn air, I smiled like an idiot. I put my keys in the ignition, put my seat belt on, and drove to the airport going a little faster than I should have.

Thank whatever god that there wasn't any traffic, everything was perfect, nothing could ruin this. I whipped into the closest parking spot at the Airport and got out of my car the fastest I could and basically once again ran to the entrance of the Airport.

"Flight 316, Section 9 departure." The voice on the intercom blasted. 'That was his flight.' I thought to myself getting all giddy inside.

I was just casually waiting to see that freckled face step out. I looked around to see a blonde girl run up to her taller boyfriend and watched as he put his what looked a hand knitted purple scarf around her and twirled her around like some cliche romance movie. There were little toddlers with their parents. 'Where is he?' I thought to myself.

"Jean!" I saw the exact face I was just searching for moments ago. His freckled face was smiling and his eyes were shining. Best of all, he was running to me. "Marco! You're back!" I exclaimed as he rolled his bags over and gave me one of the most innocent yet warmest hugs ever.

"I-I missed you." I sighed, Now was the moment. "M-Marco, Can I ask you a question?"

The other nodded, "Anything for you."

"Marco, You know how we've known each other for a long time right?" He tilted his head to the side a bit in confusion. Damn that was adorable. "I thin now would be about the time to tell you that I really like you, love maybe even," Marco gasped in suprise like he already knew what was coming.

"Marco Bodt, Will you go out with me?" I asked, sounding like a grade schooler asking out their crush to sit in their corner or at lunch with them.

There were tears in his soft eyes and he nodded his head, "Yes, Jean, yes." Did he just- Oh my god, he just said yes.

Now it was my turn to be in the cliche move, because I held him closely and spun him around a few times while laughing like we were mad.

But that was months ago, no years ago. That was when Marco was still around, that was when everything was fine, when I didn't have this life. Back then, I was happy with myself. In those days, Marco and I, we would just sit on the couch, his head in my lap and I'd just stroke his hair while we were watching some stupid movie but we didn't care. Back then, I wasn't selling myself off to men twice my age or constantly never sober and usually on some type of drugs.

I had ruined myself. But this is my punishment, this was my punishment for not being there. This is what I get, a shitty life and a shitty everything.

I was walking back to my old run down apartment in the chilly November air in nothing but shorts that were probably from the woman's section and a thin black tank-top with the words 'DAZZLE ME' Printed on the front in bold, sparkly letters. My feet hurt like hell from walking in these boots. They weren't anything special, just some cheap things I got from I don't even know where but they were uncomfortable especially because I had to walk half-way across the entire city just to get to the last customer.

I never let my customers kiss me or anything. I don't say anything the entire time I'm there, I just get it over with. I never stay the night and I NEVER under ANY circumstances, have the same customer twice. They only get me once and that's it. Not twice, not three times but once and then they never see me again. That's the way it's been for about three years now.

Yeah, three years being a 'Whore, Slut, Scum and a Prostitute.' Three years since I gave up all hope. I gave up looking for Marco after two years. So, it's been five years total since he went missing.

The police stopped looking after almost a month and Marco's parents moved away. People at school stopped caring and moved on with their lives. I didn't. I searched for a total of two years until I gave up. There were no leads to his sudden dissapearence, no clues, the Police said it was basically like searching for a lost cause.

But here I was, walking to my crummy apartment on the worst side of this town. I opened the door to it and kicked off my boots. I was sobered up enough to see straight. I closed the door and walked to the back of my apartment and found some clothes, A pair of boxers and a t-shirt, and walked to the bathroom.

I stripped down and turned on the water. Lathered and scrubbed away at all the dirt and sex off of me. I reeked of alcohol and sweat. I rinsed off and shut off the water, stepping out, I grabbed a towel and dried off fairly quickly, then slipped on my boxers and t-shirt.

It was almost sad at the sight of my fridge. There was nothing in it save for a jar of pickles, an egg, some out of date milk and half of a sandwich that I had no idea how old it was. I settled on an egg. Grabbing the egg, I decided on scrambled eggs.

I got out the one frying pan I had and began to turn on the stove and scramble the egg in the pan using a fork.

I was just casually making my scrambled egg when I burned myself. "Ouch, fuck that burns." I cursed in the empty and quiet apartment except for the sound of the stove cooking away. I just shrugged it off after a minute of holding an ice cube to my fingers.

After my egg was done I just ate it out of the pan, drinking a glass of sink water leaning on the counter.

Once I was done, I set everything in the sink and set off for bed.

I walked to the end of the small hallway in my apartment and opened the door. Walking over to the old mattress with a bunch of blankets and a few pillows. I crawled into the thing I called a bed and rolled over on my side to pick the picture frame off of the bedside table I had sitting there.

I kissed the picture. It was a picture of Marco and I, we were in the flower field on the outside of the city just smiling and looking at each other. Our foreheads were pressed together and the sun was hitting us perfectly. I remember that day like it was yesterday.

It was Spring Break and Krista was having us all over at her family's country side vacation house since they wouldn't be using it. Everyone was there; Eren, Levi, Armin, Mikasa, Sasha, Connie, Ymir, Bertold, Reiner, Annie who had come back from leave, Hanji who had insisted on coming, Marco, and Myself.

Marco and I had been checking out the field and walked holding hands. What we didn't know was that Hanji had followed us. Usually, she'd be following Levi and Eren but apparently, they were busy so she followed us instead...with a camera. At the time, we didn't know anyone was following us but as soon as we heard the 'Click' and Hanjis laughs, we knew it was too late now. She then took the picture to her laptop and uploaded it where she then printed it.

Even though I said that she needed to get rid of it, I secretly wanted it, so I kept it and framed it.

"Goodnight Marco, I know I'll probably never get to tell you this but, I love you." I whispered before kissing the photograph one last time and rolling over and letting sleep take over.

That night, I dreamed of Marco and I being happy together forever.