Title: "Oh Father"
Genre: Drama, one-short, POV, song-fic
Rating: PG; for mentions of physical abuse
Coupling: None
Main POV: Roxanne
Summary: "If you love me so much…then why do you keep hurting me, daddy?" After her mother's death, an 11-year-old Roxanne Richardson is left with her abusive father. Roxanne's POV. One-short song-fic to Madonna's song 'Oh Father'.
Setting: When Roxanne was 11, so ten years before the 7th season.
Disclaimer: I don't own the TV show 7th Heaven. Brenda Hampton owns everyone/everything that appears on that show. I also don't own the song 'Oh Father' which appears in this story, that is Madonna's property.
A/N: Don't ask where this idea came from. One minute I'm listening to a greatest hits collection of Madonna's best ballads…and I was listening to track 13 'Oh Father', and this idea clicked! And it deals with child abuse. So don't read it if it makes you feel uncomfortable in any kind of way.
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I ran down the hallway. I can still hear you yelling and screaming. You're always so angry, daddy. You've been that way ever since mom died five months ago.
I slammed my bedroom door and locked it. As I go to lift my hand off of the knob, I realize that I'm trembling. I also realize that I'm trembling in fear. Fear of you, daddy. You scare me.
And not in a funny way. Not in a friend-like joking way.
You scare me like an awful beast hiding in my closet would scare me.
It's funny that way
You can get used to the
Tears and the pain
What a child will believe
You never loved me
You hit me. You punch me. You kick me. You pull my hair. You shove me. You always find someway to cause pain to me.
Like that time you burned me with that lighter, or when you closed my hand into that car door. Or do you remember that time when you scratched me right across my forehead?
Your nails are pretty sharp, daddy.
Your voice is pretty cold and nasty when you treat me like this, daddy.
But why? Why do you treat me like this? I thought you loved me. I thought I was your little girl.
You can't hurt me now
I got away from you
I never thought I would
You can't make me cry
You once had the power
I never felt so good about myself
I rolled up my sleeves slowly. There are bruises all over my arms. Bruises that are in the shape of your hands and fingers.
If you love me so much…then why do you keep hurting me, daddy? Why do you like to see me cry?
You were never like this when mom was still alive. Why did you change? Why do you like to hurt me? Why me, your only daughter?
Seems like yesterday
I lay down next to your boots and I prayed
For your anger to end
Oh father I have sinned
Oh father, oh daddy…why? Why am I hit? Why do you always tell me what worthless carp I am? Why am I always blamed for mom's death?
I am not the cruel man who shot her. I would never have shot mom, daddy. I loved her just as much as you did.
Yet, you blame me. You yell at me. You always hit me. There are bruises, cuts, scratches, and burn marks all over me. I have cried at least ten times each day in the last five months.
Well daddy, it's almost Thanksgiving soon. What will our family say if they come over and see you hurt me?
They will belittle you, dad. And I don't want you to be belittled. That's right, dad. I still love you no matter how much you hurt me.
I looked out my bedroom window. It's getting kind of dark. I slowly slipped on my shoes and climbed out that same window.
You can't hurt me now
I got away from you
I never thought I would
You can't make me cry
You once had the power
I never felt so good about myself
As I am walking down the street, the wind whips me in the face. It stings my skin and bones. It stings my already stung heart.
I am just a defenseless little 11-year-old girl lost in a painful and hated-filled world. Your world, dad.
Is this the kind of world mom would've wanted us to live in if she was still alive? Is this the kind of world YOU want us to live in, dad?
Oh father
You never wanted to live that way
You never wanted to hurt me
Why am I running away
Why are things this way? Do they have to be this way? Do we have to live in this hell, dad? Can't you change your ways? Can't you clean the slate? Can't we start all over again like nothing ever happened?
I wish we could, but we can't. You went too far dad. We can never go back to the way we were.
Oh father
You never wanted to live that way
You never wanted to hurt me
Why am I running away
I slowly entered the cemetery. I walked over by mom's grave. I started crying as I read it.
Leanne Michelle Thompson-Richardson
August 11th, 1965-July 6th, 1992
A friend, a daughter, a sister, a wife, an aunt, and a mother. Overall, she was a beautiful and wonderful person.
Rest in peace, Leanne.
I miss you so much, mom. I miss you too, dad. The old you, dad. The one that didn't hurt me and make me feel so low that I always feel like killing myself.
Mom, I wish you were still. Then I would still have you, my mom. And daddy wouldn't hurt me.
Maybe someday
When I look back
I'll be able to say
You didn't mean to be cruel
Somebody hurt you too
I want mom to still be alive. I want daddy to be happy again. I want him to have his wife back. I want him to smile, not to yell. I want him to hug, not to hit. I want him to love me, not to hate me.
I want the same dad that held me in his arms and told me how beautiful I was the day I was born.
But you don't always get what you want.
You can't hurt me now
I got away from you
I never thought I would
You can't make me cry
You once had the power
I never felt so good about myself
I grabbed onto my mom's headstone and hugged it tightly. I ignored the cold wind and just hugged what little I had left of my mother. And then I started to cry. Cry for my dead mother. Cry for my missed father. Cry for my lost self.
"Please come back," I whispered to the cold, dead, lifeless headstone.
I got no reply, of course. But I wish that my mom would talk to me. I wish that she would tell me that she was coming back.
I want to hear her say: "Roxanne, sweetie, don't cry. I'm coming back right now. I'm coming home with you. I'm going to change daddy back to the way he was. I love you, Roxanne."
But she can't. She's dead. Gone forever. Just like my dad, who has been replaced with this abusive monster.
You can't hurt me now
I got away from you
I never thought I would
You can't make me cry
You once had the power
I never felt so good about myself
I don't how long that I stayed in the cemetery, hugging my late mother's grave. But I know it was late. It looked like midnight when I left.
When I did leave, I ran as fast as possible. I hope that dad didn't come into my room since I've been gone and see that I wasn't there. If he did, then I'm in for it when I get home.
Mom, please come back.
And dad, please don't hurt me anymore. Love me again, not hate me. Please.
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A/N: There, all done. I hope it was good. I think it turned out pretty good for something I threw together in less than an hour. Send a review telling me if you liked it or not. Also, I may not be updating for awhile, I've got this rotten writer's block where I still get ideas but whatever I write comes out really crappy. Sucks to be me. Oh well, bye.
-Alexa