A/N: hey I don't usually put these in the beginning but this is important: TO UNDERSTAND THIS YOU MUST HAVE READ LOVE AT FIRST BITE!!Now that that's out of the way onto the story!

Some stories start out, "It happened like this," this, however, is not such a story. This is a story that may, in fact, sound rather familiar. This is Draco Malfoy's story, as told to me, and it starts….

"Merlin, Granger is such a liar! It happened nothing like she said."

I may have lied it appears this story does start…

"It happened like this. I was planning to play a harmless little joke on the uptight bookworm, you know to loosen her up a bit… it was for her own good really.

"Well I enlisted the help of Crabbe, my only mistake the entire time really, to help me…err…borrow…yes! Borrow her books. It was just to prove she wasn't physically connected to them by umbilical cord, as is often speculated among Slytherins, and Crabbe got a little gung-ho.

"He saw Granger, she was just walking along reading something or other, and in his rush to get her and carry out my orde- I mean request he shoved me out of his way, effectively throwing me at her.

"She went over, you be surprised how small she is (if you discount her hair, of course, but even that's lighter than you'd think), and threw her arms around me, clearly thinkig this is closest she'd ever get to some one as handsome as I, and took me down with her.

We staggered like my mum after her annual Christmas bash, you know the one, a little ways then went over backwards!

"It was very dramatic and slow-mo worthy, her big brown hair flying out from her face and trailing behind us as we descended, her face scrunched up in fear. Then wham! we hit the floor.

"Who'd have thought someone so little could be so heavy? I thought, what I said, in a very manly voice, was, "Granger, bloody hell, get off! How could someone so small be so bleeding heavy?"

" "Shut, Malfoy," she said in an unnecessarily harsh tone, "It's your fault we're even o the ground."

" "My fault?" I drawled in my best impression of my father, "This, my dear little Gryff, is your fault."

"She got really huffy and irritable and asked, "What? How?!" Hogwarts brightest witch, really? But I digress….

" "You grabbed me, did you not?"

" "I wouldn't have grabbed you if you hadn't pushed me," she said snidely.

"Then I told I knew she had a crush on me for years but sadly I did not return her affections, though I knew a few blokes who'd happily escort her, and I told her all this in very nice, gentle way, if I do say so myself.

"Now, even though I was so nice and tactful, she just shoved my chest and got off me (though she never did deny that crush) and look quite upset, though that was probably heartbrokenness. She backed away from me until she hit a wall. A solid wall. A wall we had just fallen through when it was not at all solid.

"She started pushing on the walls like a patient in St. Mungo's running all around shoving up against the unyielding stone. While she did this, I just looked around take in our new accommodations, I was unimpressed. We were in a box, smaller than a house-elf's quarters in the Manor; it was not really what I'd define as big enough for one of us, let alone both.

" "Granger," I asked her in a calm voice, "Did you possibly accidentally do something?"

" "Me?! I didn't do anything! If anyone did something it was you! You're the one who started all this!" she shrieked at me.

" "Why would I want to be stuck her with you?" I asked in a demure cajoling voice, pleading with her told logical.

" "How do you know we're stuck?! I could've just gone to the wrong wall!" so again she circled the room like a patient straight out of Mungo's Magical Maladies Magazine before shrieking, "AH! We're stuck!"

" "I…um… just said that." I murmured quietly.

"She pushed her back against the wall and slid down it, about half way down her skirt caught for a second and a bit of her knick- um anyway she sank to the ground and I sat across from her.

"And there we sat, quietly, for eons (or right about five minutes) until finally, finally, I said, "Hey, Granger, you're smart! You can get us out of here." In a hopeful voice.

" "Well, as much as I wish I could this smart girl," she said in this really annoying voice, "had her wand knocked from her hand by an unbelievably stupid boy who rammed into her out of the clear blue. But hey Malfoy," her voice was biting and condescending, "you're supposed to second best in our year. Why can't you get us out of here?"

" "Because this very attractive and allegedly stupid boy was dragged into what possibly could verry well be his own crypt by a smart, possibly- ehem- possibly in love me, Gryffindor girl, after accidentally bumping into her and who also happened to drop his wand in the process."

"Then Granger got this really crazy look in her eye and just… shoved me. Well on instinct, though not on purpose, I shoved her back as I rebounded of the wall I had been so harshly slammed against. She went in for a second shoved but, instead of risking either of us get hurt (though I did anyway) I grabbed her tiny wrists in my hands and turned us so she was trapped between me and the wall.

"She struggled, dear Merlin did she struggle, she kicked and shoved and screamed and yelled, but I couldn't let her go and risk her hurting herself, so I held tight on. Then, all the sudden, she just… bit me! Really, honest to Merlin, bit me! Hard!

"I cursed a bit and leapt away from her, "You bit me! You bleeding bit me!" I yelled.

" "It's not like I drew blood!" she said like that justified her biting of an innocent, "What about you? You were holding me!"

"Hearing what she said my eyes darted away from my wound to look at her face, "Holding you?" I asked my eyebrows rising in signature Malfoy move #28.

She turned red and started to babble, "Well, you know… not like…not like…you know…"

I took the few steps separating us and leaned into her ear, "No Hermione, I don't think I do know," I said innocently.

I was standing closer to her than I had originally meant to but I seem to be disconcerting her so I stayed, she smelled good. Like peaches and books and coffee and something quite her own, not a scent I was aware I liked until that very moment.

" "Holding you like this?" I asked as my left hand on her waist my other reaching up to tangle in her curly, wild hair. She nodded, I'm not even sure if she was aware she nodded but she did.

"Then I kissed her. She didn't seem to mind, seeing as she responded quite nicely (who'd have thought Granger was any good at kissing? I mean there's no book on it…) and then old Dumble-Bumbles walked in.

"That is how it really happened."

Some stories ending in the twinkling of an old man's eye and a detention, this however ever isn't such a story and it ends in a stunned silence and the shaking of a greasy haired potion master's head.

A/N: Hey! I'm not dead! Yay me! Well if you hadn't guessed this is a mostly fabricated and stretched account of what happened from Draco's POV and is told to Snape after Dumbledore hears only Hermione version of things and dear Draco needs to vent. I'm thinking of writing a third from the room's POV or like a recording device Dumbly put in all hidden crevices to discourage snogging. Well I'm not sure. Please give your opinion in your review! - Quik

A/N2: Hey, it's april 14th and I just wanted you all to know I'm aware of all the scary errors in this story, next time I'll double check my story before I post it in stead of posting it beta-fresh, please forgive both me and my beta... we're a new team. I will begin editting ASAP but this is a busy week for my family so I make no promises. - Quik