Summary: Minato and Kushina were only sixteen years old when they unofficially adopted a pint-sized shinobi into their lives. He was an anti-social brat, but somehow, he became part of their family. Several short scenes — from meeting him to seeing him for the last time — from Kushina's POV.
The first time Kushina met Kakashi Hatake, he was just a little squirt whose head barely reached above her waist. Minato, Kushina's boyfriend of nearly two years, had acquired the runt as his new student about a month earlier as a bit of an unusual favor to the Hokage.
You see, most kids in Kakashi's age group would still be running around skinning their knees and learning how to be proper shinobi at the Academy until they were nine to twelve years old, depending on war or peace time demand for shinobi forces. Upon graduation, they would be placed in three-man genin squads under experienced jonin sensei at least until they passed their chuunin exams.
It was uncommon for a single child to be placed under the tutelage of a fairly fresh jonin, but Kakashi Hatake was no ordinary child. The boy was rumored to be a genius — as intelligent, talented and driven a shinobi as the Academy had ever turned out. He'd broken records in the pace he'd progressed through his education and training. Even Minato, the village's current youngest jonin at the ripe old age of sixteen, had graduated from the academy two years older than Kakashi had.
Kushina couldn't imagine what had possessed the Academy to allow a five-year-old boy start his career as an official shinobi, but somehow, Kakashi had skipped several grade levels to make it through in just one year. And he'd done it all while coping with the public — and unfair, Kushina felt, for a shinobi so loyal and dedicated — disgrace and subsequent suicide of his father. There was no way a child so young, no matter how bright and talented he may be, could come away unscathed from finding his only parent in a pool of blood.
Kushina didn't know whose genin team Kakashi had first been placed on, but she did know that he'd been the only one of the three to pass the chuunin exams within six months. Six years old, and the runt was already the same rank as her. Word was that his jonin sensei entering him in the exams had just as much to do with getting rid of him as it did with Kakashi's own skill. His reputation since then certainly lent credence to that particular rumor.
"Insufferable" her fellow chuunin, Chōza Akimichi, had called the kid after a mission with him to the Hidden Grass Village. Apparently, Kakashi could match any of his chuunin teammates in ability, making up for what he lacked in physical strength and size with incredible ninjutsu technique, speed and chakra control, but his ineptitude at camaraderie was discouraging to anyone stuck on a mission with him.
Simply put: Kakashi Hatake would sooner leave a comrade to be slaughtered by the enemy than abandon the end goal of a mission.
And so, a few months into his chuunin career and just a year after Minato had joined the ranks of the elite jonin, the Sandaime had forced the pair into the role of student and teacher in the hopes that Minato, a fellow prodigy who had also been orphaned at a young age, might influence teach his young protégé some humanity.
The day that he was told of the new assignment, Minato had been all nerves. What did he know about handling kids, let alone a child who may very well have some psychological problems? How was he qualified to get through to him? And the uncertainty had only grown during their first week of training together.
"He's so quiet," Minato had said over dinner on the fifth day. "He just stares at me while I talk and only speaks when he has to respond to a direct question. Sometimes, I feel like he's looking right through me, but I know he listens to every word I'm saying. He picks up on everything I teach him almost immediately, and he works hard. He's completely dedicated and so smart, Kushina. He wants to be his best for the village. He's definitely got a chip on his shoulder but... I can tell that there is a good kid in there; he's just missing something." He sighed. "I wish that I could get him to open up more."
Kushina, quiet for once in her life, had listened to his worried rambling before giving him a reassuring smile. "I know you'll get through to him eventually, Minato. It may take time, you know, but he'll come around. He's got a great teacher."
"How can you already be calling me a great teacher? I've hardly had the chance to teach anything."
Kushina's grin had widened, then. "You're a great teacher because you already care so much about him. You believe in Kakashi, and I believe in you, you know. That will be enough."
A month later and Minato was finally feeling settled enough into his routine with Konoha's youngest chuunin to introduce Kushina.
They met at Ichiraku's after the duo's morning training session. Kushina's stomach twisted in knots as she approached the ramen shop. Like Minato, she had no experience with young kids and was unsure how she should act toward a six-year-old who was legally working as an adult.
She found Minato and his student standing outside her favorite shop, engaged in conversation. Rather, Minato was engaged in talking at a tiny ninja with wild silver hair and a mask obscuring the bottom half of his face. Said tiny ninja was staring intently without blinking at his sensei, allowing the latter to carry on a one-sided conversation.
"Minato!" Kushina called excitedly as she jogged over and threw her arms around her boyfriend's neck.
"Kushina," he responded with a laugh and returned her hug.
She pulled away with a grin. "I hope you worked up an appetite during training today, because I am starving and it would be very rude for you to let a lady eat more than you, you know!"
"I don't know if I'm that hungry," he laughed, "though Kakashi here certainly gave me a run for my money during our session today."
"Oh?" Kushina turned her gaze to the boy. "So you must be the runt I've heard so much about!"
Large, dark gray eyes — too weary and unamused to belong to such a small child — glowered up at her underneath the mop of hair. Kushina nearly squealed with adoration. With those big eyes and grumpy expression, he was too adorable.
"You're late," he responded briskly.
Scratch that. He was a brat.
Kushina growled and clenched her hand into a fist. However, Minato's hand was around her wrist before she could unleash the fury of the Red Hot Habanero on a child.
"Heh heh," Minato laughed nervously. "We're all here now. I think we should go eat before we starve out here. My treat!"
Kushina's bad mood melted away at that. "Your wallet may regret that!" she warned.
Minato sighed. "I know..."
Kakashi was still staring at her in an unnerving way, as if he was trying to figure her out in the first few minutes of meeting her. Kushina crossed her arms over her chest and leaned down to level her own glare back at him. The two engaged in a bizarre staring contest for a minute or so before the corner of Kushina's mouth quirked.
"You're pretty rude, you know," she said candidly as she stood back to full height. "But Minato thinks you've got the makings a great ninja in there. And if Minato thinks that, there must be some hope for you."
The way Kakashi's eyes — now displaying a hint of pleasure and admiration — traveled up to Minato's smiling face for confirmation at that statement, Kushina decided there that, yes, there certainly was hope for the brat after all.
It turned out that being a six-year-old chuunin did not automatically make one a six-year-old cook.
Kushina discovered this not long after first meeting Kakashi, when she ran into him on his way home from a trip to restock his kitchen. Kakashi glowered but chose not to make a scene of stealing his food back as, nosy as ever, Kushina dug through his bag to discover instant ramen, bland shinobi rations, milk and some fruit and vegetables — nothing that would require any sort of food preparation.
She was about to ask him about his cooking skills when she met his eyes and saw the self-consciousness hidden there. A light blush peeked out above his mask as he studied her with apprehension. "It looks like you are quite the picky eater, runt," she said instead.
"Hn."
"Well, we can't have that," she went on. "If you ever want to grow up to be a big strong ninja, you're going to need a little more variety in your diet, you know."
He quirked an eyebrow and silently accepted the bag of food she returned to him.
"It's good for you that I am an excellent cook and know how to make all sorts of things. I bet even the pickiest eaters would want second helpings of almost anything I cook, you know." She crossed her arms and grinned craftily at him. "I just so happen to be making dinner for Minato tonight. You'll come with him." It wasn't an option. "I'll have you trying all sorts of new foods, runt."
She may have imagined it, but Kakashi's permanent glare seemed to soften a bit.
"I'll tell Minato to bring you along around 5:00. Don't be late!"
Minato showed up right on time with Kakashi in tow, just as Kushina was pulling the correct ingredients from her fridge. The younger boy lingered awkwardly near the doorway to her apartment as Minato kissed her on the cheek.
"So what's on the menu tonight?" Minato asked.
"Sushi," Kushina said cheerfully. She looked past him to Kakashi. "Hey, runt, get over here and give me a hand. If you're going to eat my food, you're going to earn your keep."
The boy's eyes widened marginally as he stood frozen for a moment. Minato smiled at him. "You heard the boss," he said.
With a small nod, Kakashi joined them in the kitchen.
"Gloves off and wash your hands," Kushina commanded.
He silently did as he was told and waited for her next instruction. She had to stifle her laugh at the adorable little crease of his brow as he began chopping vegetables with determination. She glanced up at Minato, who appeared to be doing the same. The two teenagers carried on the conversation all throughout the meal preparation and dinner, and though Kakashi was quiet, he seemed to frown a little bit less as the night went on.
This became a fairly regular occurrence over the next few months — Kushina teaching Kakashi to cook under the guise of curing his finicky eating habits. He became more comfortable around her and even carried his end of conversation a bit during their "team dinners" as Kushina had come to call them, even if she wasn't actually part of their team.
And if Kushina was missing out on some private date nights with Minato in exchange for those meals, it was completely worth it the next time she saw Kakashi at the market with a much more satisfactory supply of groceries in his tiny little arms.
Kakashi's seventh birthday celebration was a small affair attended only by Minato, Kushina, Jiraiya and eight ninken puppies. He hadn't been planning to celebrate it or, apparently, mention it at all, but he obviously hadn't accounted for Minato having memorized his file and Kushina being an absolute nut for birthdays.
Minato brought it up to his girlfriend when he wasn't sure what he should get for his student, and Kushina had a lot of ideas, including a huge party that Minato was absolutely positive was the wrong idea for pretty much every reason possible.
Not the least of which being that, even if Kakashi would want that kind of attend, which he surely didn't, there was no one that they could invite.
It had not occurred to Kushina until then that Kakashi really didn't have any friends. He really only spent his time training, completing missions or engaging in whatever social interactions Minato and Kushina forced on him. He never hung out with kids his own age. While they were still running around playgrounds, Kakashi was out delivering important missives, protecting cargo deliveries and escorting travelers outside Konoha's walls. He was risking his life — as much as a child chuunin was allowed — in the real world, and the gap between him and his age peers had become too immense. And all of his professional peers were too old to really socialize with him.
Then there was the matter of his family, of which Sakumo had been the last, leaving Kakashi alone in the vast Hatake compound when he took his own life. It was no wonder the place now stood empty while Kakashi stayed in a tiny one-room apartment. There was no family on his late mother's side either. As she had defected from of one of the Inuzuka side branches to marry Sakumo, Kakashi wasn't recognized as a member of that clan, no matter how many of their skills he had inherited.
The realization that Kakashi must have spent his sixth birthday alone made Kushina all the more determined that his first birthday with them around should be a memorable one. At the very least, they and Jiraiya, who had been close friends with Sakuma Hatake, could make sure Kakashi knew that he wasn't alone.
While she planned the picnic and a cake, Minato's pondering of Kakashi's lack of family led him to a brilliant birthday gift idea, for which he enlisted Jiraiya's help in acquiring it.
Kakashi sighed when he showed up to training the morning of his birthday to find the three adults standing around with nervous smiles on their faces and a picnic basket in Kushina's hands. "Please tell me that this isn't what I think it is."
"Happy birthday!" Kushina cried. "You didn't think we would forget, did you?"
He sighed again. "I never told you."
"We're shinobi, you know. We can find out anything."
"Don't worry," Minato said. "We're not ambushing you with a party or anything. Just... Kushina's made us all lunch for after morning training. After that, Jiraiya-Sensei and I are going to teach you a brand new jutsu as your birthday gift. Then, we'll all have dinner back at Kushina's place."
"It's a pretty advanced jutsu, too," Jiraiya added.
"Okay," Kakashi agreed, obviously eager to learn a new jutsu.
The boy's eyes lit up with enthusiasm while he trained with both Minato and Jiraiya, and Kushina joined up with him in squaring off against the two jonin for a round. After they enjoyed the bento boxes that she had prepared for lunch, Kushina bid them farewell so that she could pick up what she needed for dinner.
"Have fun learning the jutsu, but don't be late for dinner!" She winked at the seven-year-old shinobi. "I'm cooking sanma." A.K.A. Kakashi's favorite meal.
Minato, Jiraiya and Kakashi arrived just as she was ready to set the food on the table, but there was an additional guest with them. A puppy that was hardly more than a handful of brown fur was held firmly in Kakashi's arms.
"This is Pakkun," Kakashi explained as the puppy held up a paw and said, "Yo," in a squeaky little voice.
Kushina grinned and scratched behind Pakkun's ear. "I take it learning that summoning jutsu went well?"
Kakashi nodded and allowed her to take his new summon.
"Isn't there more than one dog on that contract?"
Kakashi looked to Minato for permission before biting into his thumb and performing the appropriate hand signs. Seven more puppies of varying breeds and sizes poofed into Kushina's cramped living room. They wagged their tails as Kakashi crouched to pet them all and say hello again. Kushina guessed that under that mask, the boy was looking quite pleased with the attention from his new companions.
She snuggled Pakkun against her shoulder and kissed her boyfriend on the cheek. Leave it to Minato to solve one of the most worrisome problems they'd come across.
What do you get a lonely kid for his birthday? A puppy.
What do you get a lonely ninja kid? Eight ninja puppies, apparently.
Jiraiya soon complained of hunger and the ninken were allowed to poof away so that they could enjoy their meal. As they sat down at the table, Kakashi looked up at all of them with that piercing gaze of his. "Thank you," he said softly before digging into his food.
As much as he tried to sound like he didn't, Kushina could tell that he really did mean it.
To his credit, Kakashi handled injuries as well as any veteran shinobi. Not that Kushina had seen him with any life-threatening injuries, but she'd witnessed him take all sorts of cuts, bumps and sprains like a champ. He would never even react enough to say "ow."
This made it all the more frightening the first time the boy was seriously injured on a mission. A skull fracture could disorient even the most experienced fighters, and it wasn't a pretty sight to see a small boy with blood matting his hair and tears silently streaming down his face being carried into the hospital by his teacher.
Kushina had actually been on her way out from visiting a teammate who was laid up from chakra exhaustion when Minato had rushed through the hospital doors covered in blood that wasn't his own. She nearly screamed when she saw the listless chuunin whose half-lidded eyes were roving around the room and overflowing with tears as he labored to breath.
The medics reached them before she did, and Kakashi was promptly taken out of sight on a stretcher surrounded by medical-nin. The two teenagers tried to follow, but their path was blocked by the hospital's receptionist asking Minato to provide whatever information he could about the boy's medical history.
"Minato, what the hell happened?" Kushina asked when they were told to sit in the waiting room.
Her boyfriend was pale as he stared at the doors through which Kakashi had disappeared. "It was supposed to be a routine escort mission, but we were attacked by rogue shinobi not even a few miles out of the village. He was attacked with an earth-style justu, and... I wasn't fast enough to get to him in time."
Kushina squeezed his hand. "Did you run all the way here with him?"
Minato nodded. "I left Shikaku to finish the mission once the enemy was defeated."
Kushina pinched the edge of his blood-soaked flak jacket and sighed. "Head wounds bleed a lot, you know. It may not be as bad as it looks. Either way, this is ruined." She looked up at him and offered a small, reassuring smile. "He'll be okay, you know. He's tough for a runt."
"I've never seen him react to being hurt like that. He was unconscious for a while, and when he finally woke up, he was barely responsive. He just... started crying and asked for Sakumo."
"He'll be okay," Kushina repeated, perhaps just as much for herself as for him.
When a medic finally led them to Kakashi's room an hour later, they learned that the boy had indeed suffered from a skull fracture, which had led to his confusion and trouble breathing. Had they been further away from the village and unable to get him medical attention soon enough, Kakashi could very well have died from the injury. Medical ninjutsu had healed the injury enough to downgrade the diagnosis to a severe concussion, but he was still under sedation from the procedure.
Kakashi was asleep, with a bandage wrapped around his head where his hitai-ate normally sat. His mask had been removed, leaving him to look like the small child he was, rather than the fierce shinobi he was working to be. An oxygen tube under his nose looped behind his ears to keep it in place, and an IV hung from the pole beside his bed.
They took their places on either side of the bed and waited for him to wake. Minato sat back with a worried frown while Kushina held Kakashi's hand and smoothed his wild hair away from his face. It wasn't until much later that night that the child woke, and Minato had already fallen asleep in his chair.
"Hey there, sleepy head," Kushina whispered, drawing Kakashi's tired eyes up to her. "You're in the hospital. You took a pretty nasty bump to the head and gave us a scare. How are you feeling?"
Kakashi's brow furrowed as he sluggishly reached up toward his bandaged head, but Kushina intercepted his hand. "Don't touch," she chided. "Does your head hurt?"
"Yes," he murmured, his eyes glassy as they met hers again.
"You'll feel better soon, you know." Kushina moved from her chair to sit on the side of his bed, careful of his IV. She gently began to run her fingers through his hair with a warm smile on her face. "Why don't you go back to sleep? We'll both be here when you wake up in the morning."
Kakashi sighed and closed his eyes. The hand held in hers gripped back just a little before he drifted off to sleep again.
It was one of the only times he ever let her treat him like a child, and she would never tease him about it. Not once.
Kakashi had nearly reached his ninth birthday when the Hokage finally saw fit to place shinobi his own age on Minato's team. Obito and Rin, a pair of nine-year-old genin, had known Kakashi when he'd first joined the Academy in the same class as him, though they'd seen little of him since he rushed through to graduation.
Team Minato had an interesting dynamic from day one. First, of course, there was cocky Kakashi, displeased to be stuck with two inexperienced genin on pointless D-ranked missions around the village. Then, there was sweet little Rin Nohara — who Kushina adored — pining after her chuunin teammate, who was completely oblivious to her attention. Rounding out the pack was clumsy, loudmouth Obito Uchiha, Kakashi's opposite in every way and a complete pain in the butt who just so happened to be crazy about Rin.
The Hokage must have had a sense of humor, because he'd certainly given Minato one heck of a challenge by grouping these kids all together.
Regardless, Minato was rather fond of all three, and Kushina couldn't help but be as well. She frequently stopped by their training sessions to deliver homemade lunches or to join in on some sparring, and she was pleased to see that his teammates brought out a new side to Kakashi. Specifically, Obito's persistence in challenging Kakashi at every turn annoyed the latter so much that she saw him do something he never did: act his own age.
It was subtle and it always happened slowly over the course of a training session, but Obito managed to make Kakashi Hatake lose his carefully controlled temper on a daily basis. As much as it exasperated Minato when his two students refused to get along, Kushina was thrilled to see Kakashi's new-found impatience. She especially enjoyed the banter of the two boys insulting each other with all the maturity of children on a playground.
"How is everything going with the new team?" she asked while Kakashi helped her prepare dinner one night.
He shrugged. "They're really far behind. Rin is probably going to make a pretty decent medical-nin, though."
"You're really far ahead," she corrected. "And you don't have to be so rude about it! But Ithat's not what I meant anyway. How are you liking them?"
"Obito's annoying."
Kushina snorted in amusement. "Rin seems to have taken a liking to you, you know."
He looked generally unfazed, if a little confused, by her comment. "I guess." He may have been a genius little ninja, but he was clueless about the cute girl with a crush on him.
"You know," Kushina said, "I suppose your new teammates should really be included in our team dinners, don't you think?"
The child glared into the pot of rice he was stirring. "Obito would just eat you out of house and home and break everything."
Kushina laughed. Alright then, if Kakashi wasn't ready to share yet, team dinners could stay exclusive for a while longer.
Kushina had been a special jonin — specialization: fuinjutsu — for a few years when Kakashi surpassed her and his teammates in rank.
During wartime, Konoha was in need of bright, competent commanding officers, and age had little to do with competence where Kakashi was concerned. At twelve years old, Kakashi was one of the brightest shinobi Konoha had to offer. His intelligence and battle strategy could rival a Nara, and his dedication to the good of the village was unparalleled.
Minato had been beaming with pride when he announced Kakashi's promotion to her. Unfortunately, there would be no time to celebrate as the group would be heading out for a mission at Kannabi Bridge the next day.
Kushina shared his pride in the boy, but she couldn't help but worry when Minato told her that Kakashi would be leading his first mission on the battlefront without Minato. No matter how strong and able they were, Kushina had become quite attached to Minato's brats. The thought of any harm coming to them terrified her.
While Minato went over the mission details that evening, Kushina went in search of his newly-promoted protege. She didn't bother to head to Kakashi's apartment, because she knew better than to expect him to be relaxing that night. Instead, she found him at the training grounds, sparring with his largest summon, Bull.
"You're going to tire yourself out before your big mission, you know."
Kakashi and Bull came to a stop, the latter wagging his tail excitedly to see their visitor. Kushina grinned as she scratched the dog's head. "Hello there!"
"What are you doing out here?" Kakashi asked.
"Oh, right!" Kushina affected the most serious face that she could muster. "I came to deliver a very important message."
Kakashi's eyes widened marginally. "Is it for the mission?"
"No." A sly grin graced her features, but she moved faster than Kakashi apparently had time to recognize her behavior. Before he knew it, Kakashi was enveloped in a hug that had his feet dangling above the ground. "Congratulations!" she cried. "You're a jonin! We're so proud of you, you know!"
The boy was probably to shocked to struggle, though, with his arms pinned to his sides, it wouldn't have been an easy fight for him anyway. He was a jonin, but he was still a runt. And a runt who needed the occasional hug forced on him, for his own good.
When Kushina was done squeezing him half to death, she set him down to see the look of alarm still on his face and laughed. "You're going to be a great little jonin, runt. Just don't get too cocky."
Kakashi rolled his eyes at her jibes and tried not to look pleased with the praise.
Kushina was heartbroken the day that Team Minato returned from the battlefront one member short.
As the jinchuriki of the Nine-Tails, Kushina was kept close to home on guard duty so that they didn't risk such power falling into enemy hands. She had received word that Minato had single-handedly wiped out a thousand Iwa ninja before successfully leading his team to destroy Kannabi Bridge and turning the war in Konoha's favor. She'd glowed with pride when she heard villagers call her fiancé a hero.
But it wasn't a triumphant Minato Namikaze who returned back through the gates of Konoha a few days later. His head was low, eyes fixed on the ground, as he walked a few paces ahead of his two students. Behind him, Rin held onto Kakashi's arm and rubbed at her own red, puffy eyes. Kakashi's expression was not unlike the solemn one he'd worn as a young child, though one eye was now obscured by his tilted hitai-ate. All three of them were rumpled and dirty, which was to be expected after some rough days at the front lines.
Kushina frowned as she approached, her eyes searching for any sign of Obito, who she thought would surely be boasting of their successful mission once he was within earshot of Konoha's gates. When her eyes fell on the orange goggles around Rin's neck, she finally understood and froze.
"M... Minato?" she asked softly.
Minato looked up to see his fiancee only a few meters ahead of him and shook his head sadly. Kushina made it to him in a few quick strides and enveloped him in a hug. "How?"
He hugged her back and murmured, "Later. Not in front of them."
Kushina nodded and sniffed back her own tears before releasing him. She immediately went to the teenagers behind them. Rin's lip wobbled as Kushina gently brushed a lock of hair from her face, and that was all it took to reduce the girl to a fresh round of sobs. She let go of Kakashi's arm and took comfort in Kushina's embrace.
Kushina set her free hand on Kakashi's shoulder, but he didn't look up from the ground. "It's going to be okay," she lied to the grief-stricken teens in a shaky voice. "Everything will be okay."
Later, after Minato escorted Rin to her parents' house and headed to the Uchiha compound to deliver the news of Obito's passing to the clan head, Kushina insisted that Kakashi stay in her and Minato's spare bedroom that night. It had actually not taken too much convincing, so she found herself making tea while Kakashi silently stared into space from the living room couch.
Kushina set the tea tray on the coffee table and came to sit beside the young jonin, who made no move to take his cup.
"How are you doing, runt?" she asked gently and received only a shrug in response. "Yeah, me too." She sighed and picked up one of the tea cups, which she set in his hands after ensuring that he would not drop it. "Drink."
Kakashi looked down into the liquid as if carefully considering it, and Kushina retrieved her own tea cup. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"Talking won't bring Obito back."
Kushina's eyes watered at the waver in his voice. "You're right, but you can't just bottle this up, you know."
"Tell that to Sensei."
Kushina sighed. "I plan to, but right now, I'm more worried about you."
Kakashi didn't reply at first, though his right eye finally met hers after a moment.
"Did something happen to your eye on the mission?" Kushina asked.
He nodded. "It was cut."
"What?!" Kushina pushed his hitai-ate up to revel a healing slash down the left side of his face. Rather than a damaged eye, though, she found herself looking into a two-tomoe Sharingan brimmed with tears. "Kakashi..."
"Obito activated his Sharingan right before he... He made Rin transplant it."
Kushina traced the curve of Kakashi's eyebrow with her thumb as she studied the mismatched eye. The Sharingan had been Obito's favorite thing to talk about, after Rin, of course. He had been training hard for years, hoping that it would activate so that he could surpass Kakashi and prove his worth to his clan. Two tomoe in a new Sharingan was practically unheard of; the Uchiha surely would have been impressed. "Obito must have thought a lot of you to share such a precious gift, you know."
"He made me promise to protect Rin," Kakashi whispered. "But I already couldn't save him. How can I..." He trailed off, shutting his eyes in an attempt to fend off his tears.
"The shinobi rules aren't all right, you know," Kushina told him. "You're allowed to cry."
Silent tears trailed down his face from Obito's eye, and Kushina eventually guided him to rest his head on her shoulder, where she carded her fingers through his hair until he drifted off to sleep.
When Minato entered a short while later, Kushina hastily wiped away her own tears and shushed him, lest he wake the sleeping twelve-year-old that she'd managed to shift into a laying position with his head on her lap. The blond looked like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders as he sunk down to the floor beside her knee.
Kushina closed her eyes and prayed that her boys would be spared anymore heartache in this war.
If losing Obito had initiated his slow self-isolation, Kakashi pulled away completely after Rin's death. He wouldn't speak to Minato or Kushina about it — or really anything at all. For the first month or so, no matter how hard Kushina tried, she couldn't get him to speak more than the occasional single-word response. When he finally became a bit more responsive again, he still wouldn't make eye contact expect in passing, and he seemed to shrink away from any comforting touch.
Minato's appointment to Hokage meant that he couldn't spend as much time as he would like with his only remaining student, so he had to let Kushina take on the task of looking out for the young jonin. It wasn't easy, though, when Kakashi avoided her and basically any other person seeking to help him. Gone were the days when she could coerce the boy into opening up while they prepared a meal or drank tea, so Kushina had to resort to tailing him around Konoha.
She watched him sometimes while he trained alone, practicing Chidori again and again until he was ready to collapse with exhaustion. She often noticed a subtle shaking of his right hand as he prepared to drive the jutsu through practice dummies and trees. The boy was pushing himself to his own limits — for what, she wasn't sure. And when he wasn't training, he spent his time staring at Rin's headstone or silently wandering the village.
Might Guy, self-proclaimed as Kakashi's eternal rival, had also grown concerned over the latter's behavior. Sometimes, he joined Kushina in watching him train. Other times, he trailed him around the village, begging him to accept various bizarre challenges. Kushina was glad that one of his friends was persistent enough to keep trying.
When Kakashi was finally allowed a mission outside of Konoha, it became evident just how badly he was coping. Kushina was grateful for Guy secretly trailing him when he choked during a fight and proceeded to pass out from an anxiety attack.
"I should have known that something like this was bound to happen," Kushina announced as she stormed into his hospital room that day.
Kakashi was still groggy, having just woken. He pushed himself up into a half propped position and glanced up with heavy eyes as she sat beside him on the bed.
Kushina frowned as she studied pale face and slumped posture. "You can't keep going like this, runt. Please tell me what's going on in your head. You don't have to shoulder this alone, you know. I'm always here for you, and you're really starting to worry me."
Kakashi looked down at his lap and determinedly said nothing.
She tilted her head closer to his field of vision in an attempt to catch his eye. "Your friends are worried, too, you know."
"Everyone should just leave me alone," he said finally. "I can take care of myself."
"You have a strange way of showing it. Rin and Obito wouldn't want you to live like this."
"Rin and Obito would have wanted to live their own lives, but they're dead," Kakashi said dully. "They can't care what happens to me anymore. People are calling me Friend-Killer Kakashi. And they're right. Everyone around me dies."
"Stop it, right now!" Kushina's eyes welled up with angry tears, and before she realized what she was doing, she had slapped him hard across the face. Immediately after, there was a deafening silence until she gasped into her hand and he reached up to feel his reddening cheek, his visible eye wide with surprise. "Don't ever talk about yourself like that again."
"I'm really tired," Kakashi whispered. "I'd like to go back to sleep now."
"Kakashi—"
"Please."
Kushina sighed, realizing that this time she didn't think she was the person who could help Kakashi. She wiped the tears that threatened to fall from her eyes before leaning forward to kiss the top of his head. "You aren't a friend killer, so please stop punishing yourself." She stood and refused to look him in the eye again. "Get some sleep today, but don't think that means I'm giving up on you, you know."
That night, she and Minato had their first major fight as a married couple when he announced Kakashi's assignment to ANBU. Minato wanted Kakashi close, where he could monitor him. Kushina feared that time in the covert organization would chip away at what little innocence Kakashi had left.
Minato won. He was the Hokage and Kakashi's teacher, after all. Besides, for the first time, Kushina had no idea what might help the teenager get through this.
Months went by, and Kakashi's ANBU duties kept him away more often than not. Kushina's heart ached for the three children who had been brought into her life as Minato's students only to be torn away by the various circumstances of war. When she found out that she was pregnant, her excitement was only matched by fear for what this world might hold for her unborn child.
When Kakashi was assigned as her guard, she was relieved to have him close to her again, but that was short-lived when, for the most part, he remained hidden in the shadows where he didn't have to interact with her or anyone else. Eventually, on evenings when Hokage responsibilities kept Minato at work late, Kushina managed to convince her personal ANBU to keep her company. She would complain that it was unfair for him to let her cooking go to waste in Minato's absence and he would eat silently, keeping watch near the window with his back to her so that she never saw his face without the porcelain ANBU mask.
Then, about eight months into Kushina's pregnancy, Minato had to spend a night away to visit the Fire Daimyo. Extra ANBU were assigned to their house to reinforce Kakashi's security detail, and she managed to convince her usual guard to keep watch from inside, even if he never returned any of her conversation.
The extra guards must have made him feel more relaxed, because he seemed to allow the exhaustion from long nights of guard duty catch up to him, finally. He sat in the bay window, silent as usual, and it wasn't until Kushina was getting ready to go to bed that she noticed the way he slouched against the wall as he breathed deeply.
Kushina smiled and gently removed his ANBU mask to reveal his sleeping face. She even managed to cover him with a blanket from the couch without waking him. "Sweet dreams," she whispered.
She was woken late that night by the sound of Kakashi crying out Rin's name. Being eight months pregnant didn't allow her to move very quickly, and by the time she made her way to the main living area of her house, Kakashi was standing in front of the kitchen sink, washing something.
"What's going on?" Kushina asked worriedly.
He didn't respond. She came to stand beside him and was surprised to see him scrubbing furiously at his hands with the tap turned completely to 'hot.' "Kakashi, stop!" she cried, trying to pull his hands out of the scalding water. "Stop it!" She quickly turned off the tap and grabbed him by both wrists.
With his ANBU mask and hitai-ate gone, both eyes were visible, and Kushina could see that his pupils dilated. "It won't wash off."
Kushina held his hands gently atop her own and examined them. They were red and cracked from over scrubbing, but there was nothing on them. "What won't wash off, Kakashi?"
Kakashi took a few gasping breaths as he stared down at his hands as well. "Rin's blood... it..." He trailed off and glanced around the room as if slowly trying to take in his surroundings.
Kushina's eyes welled with tears, and she squeezed his hands. With his fellow ANBU outside, she wouldn't force him into a hug. "It was just a nightmare."
He looked back at her, his breathing starting to calm as he came to his senses. "Sorry..."
"Was it about Rin?" she asked.
Kakashi looked down, visibly embarrassed by the situation. "Sometimes, I see it like it's just happened," he whispered, apparently still disoriented enough to talk openly.
Kushina's grip on his hands tightened. "That must be horrible."
"I didn't want to do it."
"I know." She guided him over to sit on the couch and silently went about making tea to give him a moment to collect himself.
When she returned with a tray in hand, he was holding his head in his hands. He looked up warily when she sat beside him. "I'm sorry for waking you."
She smiled and handed him his tea. "Don't be."
He pulled down his mask and took a careful sip of the hot liquid. "I shouldn't have fallen asleep on the job."
"There are extra guards on duty, and you need the sleep. You look like you've hardly had any in a while, you know."
"It's... hard to sleep through the night," he admitted.
"I'm sorry that I didn't know."
"I didn't want to worry you."
She reached out and stroked his cheek affectionately. "Minato and I are always going to worry about you, runt. Through good and bad, you know. You don't really have a choice."
A blush crept up his cheeks and he looked away. "Thank you."
Later, after seeing that he was peacefully sleeping — at her insistence — in the spare bedroom, Kushina went back to her bed and got one of the best nights of sleep she'd had in months.
The day had finally come for Kushina to go to the safe house for Naruto's birth. Her gut was in knots that were equal parts nerves and excitement. She couldn't wait to meet her child — a boy, she was already sure — but she was a little bit terrified of what motherhood might be like. Sure, childbirth and the potential weakening of her seal were scary, but neither was as daunting as the thought that she could be a terrible mother. She had no idea what she was doing. What if she completely screwed her kid up?
She was also feeling oddly sentimental as she walked through the village, passing the shops, restaurants and people that she had known most of her life. It felt a bit like she was at the ending of a book, ready to move on to a new one. Biwako Sarutobi led her through town as they made their way to the secret destination to meet Minato and Taji. At least half a dozen ANBU were following along the rooftops, she could tell. Months of having ANBU guarding her had made Kushina quite the expert on sensing the covert shinobi.
After a brief run-in with Mikoto Uchiha and her newborn Sasuke, they were nearly out of the village when they crossed paths with Kakashi, who was dressed in his normal street wear instead of his ANBU uniform.
"Kakashi!"
He stopped in his path toward the training grounds and waited for her to reach him. "Good morning."
"Training on your week off?" she teased.
He shrugged and looked between her and Biwako. "...Is it time?"
Kushina grinned and set her hand on her stomach. "Little Naruto will be here soon."
"Kushina!" Biwako scolded. "We have to go. No more distractions!"
The redhead waved off the older woman and looked sheepishly at Kakashi. "Well, then, I should be on my way."
He nodded. "Good luck," he said just before he was pulled into a bone-crushing hug.
"Be a good boy while we are gone, runt," she said softly. "Make sure you're eating enough. Don't be reckless and don't avoid your friends. You may be a strong ninja, but you're still just a kid. I don't want you to always be alone, you know."
When she pulled away to hold him at arms length, the teenager was blushing furiously and staring with one wide gray eye. "Things haven't been easy for you, but no matter what's happened, know that I'm so proud of you." She pulled him back into her arms, rested her cheek against his hair and closed her eyes when he relaxed a bit into her hold. "I can't wait to introduce Naruto to his big brother when we get back. I love you, runt."
Kakashi sighed contentedly and slipped his arms around her. "I... love you, too."
As she heard those words from him for the first time, Kushina decided that maybe she had been ready for this motherhood thing all along.
I don't really think this is necessarily my best writing, but it was something I needed to get out of my head before I move on to continuing my current ongoing story (if an entirely different fandom). I only just came back to Naruto recently after years absent from the fandom, and the thought of what type of relationship Kakashi and Kushina might have had just wouldn't go away. So here is the product of that idea, complete with an unintended goodbye that feels like some sort of closure because, dammit, kid Kakashi needed someone to cut him a break.