Authors Note:
Okay so this is my first story so please excuse me if it's not up to scratch just yet. With all the lack of Emison in my life, well in all our lives, i felt like this was the only way i could deal with it... Damn you Marlene. Any way i hope you enjoy, this is the first chapter and i will try and upload as often as i can. Please leave reviews as they will help me A LOT! Eveything in italics is a memory/dream/flashback
Lots of Love xox
"Fuck that was amazing" Emily breathed out sharply as she rolled off the panting blonde next to her. Emily stared up at the ceiling for what felt like hours, whilst the blonde headed girl next to her curled into Em's side and kissed her neck, whilst their sweaty, naked bodies rubbed against each other under the cover that was now pulled up over them. The blonde made a moaning sound and came up to Emily's ear and whispered, "I just can't keep my hands off you this morning".
Emily grunted, as she knew in approximately two hours she would be serving coffee and food to passers by who could actually enjoy their weekend. "Ah don't go there. Unfortunately I have work and you need to study for your exams" the swimmer mumbled out as she turned over to face the blonde on her side.
Emily had been with Kendra for just over a year and half now and to say it had been a whirlwind of passion from the start would be an understatement. Kendra had fell into Emily's in the first week of college. Their dorms faced each other and they constantly kept bumping into each other. Eventually at a party during that week, they found themselves laughing over a large bowl of punch, which then lead onto heated kisses in the random boys washroom. Kendra was a breath of fresh air for Emily. She was confident but not cocky and Emily found that the hottest thing ever. After an awkward second week of college trying to avoid each other after their drunken fling, Emily finally plucked up the courage to ask her out on a date and then the rest is history. After the drama that had taken over the tanned, brunettes life, involving A and everything around the DiLaurentis family, the girls had all practically ran off to college after Charles had been caught. Emily had been offered a full scholarship at UCLA on the Physiological Science course, which she accepted in a flash. As Emily couldn't swim anymore because of the partial tear in her rotary cuff not fully healing, this course still allowed her to gain a qualification within the field that she so desperately wanted to be a part of. Hanna left for New York with Caleb and was studying fashion at NYU and currently in the process of planning her wedding, as Caleb had recently proposed. Spencer finally got into UPenn to do law, which her parents were overjoyed about, and Toby was still working for the police force and going strong with Spencer. Aria pursued her photography dream and after a year of studying at Hollis, transferred to London for a year abroad with her course. Aria and Ezra eventually got back together but no one ever really knew what the status of their relationship was. And then there was Alison. Alison Lauren DiLaurentis- the best and worst thing that ever happened to Emily. Alison had moved away from Rosewood weeks after the incident with A. 19 hours, 11 minutes and 3 seconds after the moment with Emily. One she would saviour for life.
Emily gave Kendra a kiss on the head as her hand travelled up the blonde's tanned beach body, to her waist and lightly scratched her fingernails back down her body. Kendra's body shivered under the swimmers touch and leaned into for a gentle, yet passionate kiss.
"You shouldn't touch me like that Em, if your plan is to leave me for the day because that's just cruel" Kendra lightly giggled as she stared into Emily's gentle brown orbs. Emily huffed like a child and kicked the covers off her and moaned as she lifted her body off the bed. "Well I guess I better get ready for my run" she said as she walked towards her chest of drawers, which held the contents of her running attire.
It was 6:30am on a sunny, Saturday morning. Emily had her earphones in, as she ran over the golden sand under her feet on Saint Monica beach. Her and Kendra had been living together for around 5 months now not far from the beach, which they both loved. As Emily ran her mind drifted towards her friends and how much she missed seeing their faces everyday. She noted to herself to make contact with each of them within the next week. A may of taken her complete high school years away, but she be damned if he took away the most important people in her life. And just like that her mind drifted towards Alison. Emily tried to up her pace and changed the track on her iPod, quickly turning the volume up. Her mind was consumed with sparkling blue eyes, golden blonde waves and dimples that made her knees weak. The flashback of their last encounter flashed through Emily's mind as she tried to stomp it all away with her feet.
Emily stared at her phone and the notification that was so boldly written across it. Missed Call- Ali (4). Why was Alison calling her so much? After everything Emily had been through with Alison, she always found the best way with dealing with her was to avoid her with all possible costs. It saved a hell of a lot of heartache, headaches and stress. Emily placed her phone back down on her bed and placed her head back on her pillow beneath her. All of a sudden her doorbell rang, which caused Em to jump. Although A had been caught, she and the rest of the girls were still slightly jumpy at the smallest of things (which was understandable). Pam Fields, Emily's mother, was working late and her father, Wayne Fields, was still positioned in Texas with the military so Emily lifted herself off her bed and walked down her stairs to answer the door. As she opened the door, her breath caught in her throat. There was Alison standing in front of her, wearing a very short dress and a very beautiful smile. Alison slightly frowned "Hey to you too, Em" the blonde tilted her head as the words rolled of her tongue. Emily's mouth was drying up and fast. Alison walked towards Emily and placed her hand on her arm
"Are you not going to let me in?".
Em opened the door for the girl standing in front of her and Alison walked in the Fields residence. Emily walked up the stairs (which felt like they were never-ending) to her room and sat on her window seat. Alison sat gently next to her. There was a moments silence. Emily shifted slightly feeling the tension in the room build up, whilst Ali just kept glancing out the window and then back at Emily.
"Em, I'm leaving Rosewood" the blonde said looking down at her feet as she started fiddling with her fingers. Emily's head quickly turned and she went completely still. Her body felt numb.
"What? When?" she managed to get out. Alison stood up and started to walk towards Emily's pin board. The board was covered in photos, mainly of Emily and the three other girls and her dad but Alison gently unpinned a photo of all 5 of the girls together and looked down at it.
"Do you remember this day?" the blonde started as she held the photo up. "It was summer and we went to my parents beach house. Hanna ended up getting so drunk that night, that me and you had to sleep in bed with her. Do you remember what I said to you that night, Em?" Alison's blue orbs fell upon Emily's. Emily was confused, angry, hurt and relieved all in one. Emily stood up and walked toward Ali and took the picture out of her hand.
"This isn't relevant Ali. You can't just leave. We finally have our lives back! Aren't you sick of constantly running away?" Alison walked towards Emilys bed and sat down slowly tapping the bedding next to her, signaling for Emily to sit down next to her. "Emily come and sit down please and just let me talk for a moment. I promise after I've finished you can say what you want and I won't utter a word, if that's what you want, but please just hear me out. For once just listen to me and take my words in". Emily, still holding the photo in her hand, took a deep breath and done as Alison requested. Over the past few years, Emily knew she had changed from that girl in the photo. She was no longer one of 'Ali's minions' that ran around and done everything she asked. Emily had blossomed. She was no longer in anyone's shadow and she was so confident in the person she was. Alison turned to face Emily, her face slightly flushed, and put her hand on Emilys thigh. Emily turned to face Ali and they just sat there for a minute staring down at the photo in Emily's hand. Emily stared at the blondes lips, the way they perfectly fell into a heart shape. They looked so soft, like they were demanding Emily's attention. Alison started talking. "That night when Hanna had to be taken care of, which may I add wasn't my fault. I only suggested we do two tequila shots, not for her to do ten" The blonde and swimmer both giggled. "But when I rolled over to find you still awake and you asked me why you was my favourite, my answer was in some ways a lie Em. Which you're obviously not surprised about. I told you that you were my favourite because you always made me smile and laugh, which I will admit to be the truth. But honestly speaking now, you have always been my favourite because of the little things you do, which you don't even realize you're doing. Like when we're in the car and you're driving, the way you tap your hand on the steering wheel when a Taylor Swift song comes on because you don't want people knowing you actually love her music. Or when you're hyper and you make silly faces and voices that pop into my head nearly everyday. And when you're cooking you hum Dean Martin songs and do a little dance. When we order food, you always feel the need to add extra hot sauce to everything, but then complain how your mouth is burning after. Them things alone make you special Emily. You need to remember that." Alison started to tear up slightly as she glanced at the stunning swimmer on her side. "After everything we have been through, everything you have been through, you need to keep hold of them little quirks that make you so unique. Emily you have a hold on me and I don't know how you do it but after everything we have both put each other through, I can't stop running back to you and ending up in this exact position. For a while now I've been thinking of how to tell you all this, how to make you understand why I done the things I did so many years ago but to be honest no explanation will ever excuse the fact that I hurt you. I knew you had feelings for me and I just kept on pushing you away. Kept on making you feel so insecure, when the truth is I was the insecure one because you made me feel so alive and loved and I never understood them emotions. You made me want to become a better person Em, become this person I am now and I have you to thank for it." Alison bit on her lip slightly, whilst Emily held the picture in one hand and her hand over her forehead with the other. Alison continued "Eveyrthing I'm saying doesn't have to be taken for gospel if you feel otherwise but I know we share something that I think we both have never had before with anyone else. The night you stayed at mine and we" Alison paused "We shared an intimate moment, I don't regret it Em" Alison grabbed Emilys hand away from her face and kissed it. "I never regret any of our intimate moments. I just wanted you to know that.". Silence fell upon the room whilst Alison still held Emily's hand. The swimmer sat in complete shock. Was Alison telling her that she was in love with her? Was she asking for something? Was she hiding something? Too many thoughts consumed the brunettes mind. She grabbed her hand back from Alison and stood up, walking to her desk, where she placed the photo she had been holding.
"Ali, I don't understand. If you're trying to be cryptic, please don't. Yes you have changed but so have I. I'm no longer the girl that used to hang off your every word because, believe it or not, I got sick of that shit" Alison wiped a tear from her face
"Em I'm not trying to convince you of anything, nor am I trying to be cryptic. I'm just telling you how I feel. I'm leaving Rosewood tomorrow morning and I needed to come and tell you that I never used you, not once before i regret it. You were always the light in my life. I just don't want to lose contact with you but I also can't stay here anymore. I understand what you and the others went through was hard, but I also had it hard too. I spent time in jail. I was running around for years trying to find safety and then to find out it was my own brother causing us all this misery. Do you understand how much that broke my heart? I can't bare to watch everyone go by in this town any longer, knowing how hard we all had it. I get people watching me, my dad and Jason like were some sympathy cases. You girls have college and a future ahead of you. I have a lot of working on me to get on with and I can't do that when my past can't escape me." Emily sat back down on the bed next to Alison and positioned herself closer to the emotional blonde. Emily was slightly hurt that Alison was leaving so soon, but she couldn't see the girl she so desperately loved so hurt. Truth be told, Emily understood Ali and actually thought it was the best thing for her but she couldn't help herself being that slightly selfish. Alison was the girl she grew up fantasizing about, the girl she mourned for, the girl she finally got back, the girl she never stopped loving after everything and now Alison was finally telling her that she pretty much felt the same, she was walking out on Emily, yet again. Emily took Alison face in her hand and took a deep breath before finally speaking out.
"Ali, I get it. If there's anyone else who gets it, it's the others and me." Ali glanced down and looked back at Em with her smile, her smile she only reserved for the brunette staring back at her. "Please can we just not talk? You were the only one I wanted to see before leaving. Can we spend this time not like emotional wrecks and just enjoy what time we have left?" Emily hands dropped from Alison's face as she lay down on her bed. She held her arms out for the one girl she always wanted to hold. Ali went over to the girl she called her favourite and snuggled into her neck, smelling the fresh scent of cocoa and inhaled it like her life depended on it. Emily wrapped her arms around Alison and buried her nose into her soft blonde curls. This was a moment they would both hold on to for life. As the hours went by, Emily and Ali had laughed and cried and even slightly argued over everything they had been through over the past years and now they were laying side by side under Emily's covers, dressed in sweats and t-shirts, just looking into each others eyes, whilst Emily stroked Alison's face.
"Miss DiLaurentis, I'm going to miss you." Emily almost whispered. Alison licked her lips and sighed out "This is so unfair. Please Em just please don't forget me or us? I will wait for you and when the time is right I will always come back running in your arms. I will forward you our address and my new number when we finally get to our new house. Make sure you keep in contact and tell me all about college and your swimming". Emily stared at Alison for a long while knowing what she was about to say may not go down well but would be best for them both.
"Ali, I don't think it's best to stay in contact like that. I mean if were going to be living in different parts of the country and I will be at college and god knows where you will be, how are we meant to move on and build ourselves back up if we're never allowing ourselves any space? Yes it will be hard but it doesn't mean that if you need me I won't be there. We will still exchange contact details but I think we both need time." Emily hated herself for practically knocking back the towns 'It Girl' but she knew it was for the best. Alison needed to grow and mature and if being away from her past was the way to do that, Emily wasn't going to be a helper in that process, she would hinder it. Alison stayed silent and then just gently pressed her lips against Em. Emily could taste pineapple mixed with a concoction of pain, love and salty tears. They kissed until they felt like their lips were bruised. Emily came out of the kiss, short of breath and looked at Alison confused. Alison bit down on her lip and stated "If this is goodbye for good, at least let me give you a real farewell" And as she completed her sentence, she flung her T-shirt over her head and straddled the young swimmer whilst quietly mumbling something which Emily was sure sounded like "I Love You".
The brunette stopped and flung her earphones out of her ears. That night happened almost 3 years ago and the two girls hadn't spoke since. In fact no one heard from Alison at all. Hanna once was sure she saw Alison in JFK airport but after an hour of running around, she had no luck and needed to board her plane. Emily was out of breath. She had been running on autopilot and luckily was only a few blocks away from home. She glanced at the watch on her wrist and realised she only had an hour to get home, shower, get dressed, eat and leave for work. Emily loved Kendra. She didn't doubt it at all. Kendra listened to all of Emily's problems and only respected her more. Emily knew she was lucky to have a girl like Kendra, but that still didn't stop her from thinking about Alison. Alison was and would always be a touchy subject for Emily. Em forced Alison to the back of her mind and took a light jog back home.
By the time Em had gotten back, Kendra was showered, dressed and now cooking breakfast for the two of them. Emily crept up behind the blonde and grabbed her around the waist. "Mmm that smells so good babe" She said as she kissed Kendra's ear. Kendra smiled and turned to face Emily. Kendra was around the same height as Emily, which made kissing so much easier.
"Well I think you need to get your sexy ass in the shower and get dressed before it burns or gets cold" Kendra said as she leaned into Em's lips and kissed her quickly.
Emily did as she was told and showered, got dressed and had breakfast with the woman she loved. After breakfast, Kendra cleared the plates and told Emily she needed to leave. Em grabbed her purse and her car keys and kissed Kendra goodbye.
"Start studying for your exam babe! I want to see proof of notes when I'm home" Emily shouted as she left the house. Emily jumped in her car and let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. She cared for Kendra an awful lot and always felt so guilty when her mind travelled to Alison. Emily shook off that shitty feeling and started up the car.
Emily had been working at a little café, called 'Kafe K', down by the beach for just under a year now. It wasn't perfect but it allowed her to pay her bills, whilst she studied and she enjoyed being so close to the beach, especially on the weekend. If she couldn't be out having fun with the passers-by on the beach, at least she could watch. Luckily Emily's friend Abi, from UCLA, also worked at 'Kafe K' and was working todays shift with her and them shifts were always fun. Em parked up and head into work and could already tell that today was going to be busy. Abi was a short, red headed quirky girl and reminded Emily of Aria in many ways. As she got changed out the back into something more suitable, Abi entered the staff room whining
"Today is going to be so busy Em. I can't be dealing with half of the people we've had already with their attitudes and screaming children, please hurry and save me" The red head dropped her lip and made a little baby face to Em which made the brunette chuckle.
"Alright, alright, I'm coming. Keep your apron on!" Both girls exited the back room and started their tedious shift.
By Half 12, Emily was already starting to get a headache as more customers were now entering. Being summer and the weekend made it Emily's least favourite time to be working. Most students were now finishing off for the summer, with the odd exam, so that added even more to the custom. Abi was taking orders at the till, whilst two other staff members, Ben and Lily, were making the food/drinks. That left Emily on waiting duty. She normally didn't mind waiting on people, but when it got bus,y especially in the heat of summer, it caused her to feel flustered. Abi called Emily over and handed her four drinks to give to some customers who was sitting outside. The red head quickly listed off some names "Okay so you have two Americano's for a woman named Holly, an Iced Chai Tea latté for Millie and a smoothie for Calum". Emily nodded and took the drinks from her friend. As she exited the front doors she called their names out and waited to hear people shout for her over to their tables. Calum and Millie were sitting together which was a touch and were also great tippers, Em noted. She kept calling out for Holly but no one answered. Eventually she was just about to give up when she saw a Blonde jogging towards her waving her hand. She was wearing a yellow bikini, Chanel sunglasses and an oversized black fedora hat. She was smoking a cigarette, holding a black purse and was slightly out of breath. Emily's breath caught in her throat. The blonde coming towards her looked too familiar and it made her heart race. The blonde started catching up to Emily and started saying
"Hey sorry I'm Holly,we went and sat further down towards the beach" Emily recognised the voice and slightly tilted her head but then scolded herself because she knew what her mind was trying to do. Alison was gone out of her life now and what made Em feel worse was how disappointed she felt when she realised this wasn't Ali running towards her. She finally spoke up to the girl
"Oh that's fine don't worry about it, a lot of people do that. I would too. It's boiling hot today".
The blonde was fumbling with her purse
"Hang on, I need to leave you a tip. I feel bad. You're so busy and here I am taking up your time." Emily smiled and tried to tell the blonde it was fine but she insisted. Finally the blonde looked up and gasped. Emily stood back and felt like she had been punched over and over again in the stomach. The blonde took of her large sunglasses and put her cigarette out on the floor. "Holy shit Americano, fancy bumping into you here. What's more fucking weird is that you're serving me two americano's" Emily was lost for words. How could she be so stupid? She handed over the two drinks and went to run back into the store. She needed to get home. She needed to get away from this. She kept trying to tell herself all this time that the past was something she never cared for anymore, but now she was being faced with it, it was like for once in the past 3 years Emily was faced with the truth. She cared more for the past than she actually believed. The blonde called back after her "Americano, hey! Your money?! Don't make me run again. Heels are not made for fucking light cardio, JESUS!". Emily ignored her, pushed past customers out to the staff's toilet. She threw water over her face and looked her now pale face in the mirror. Abi banged on the toilet door asking if Emily was okay but all Emily could keep thinking was:
"If Cece is here, who else is she with?"