Complete At Last
By Mystrelle
The sky gradually lightens with the approach of day as I flit around the house putting the finishing touches on everything. Somewhere behind the fluffy, gray clouds, the sun is rising. Dawn is breaking on the day that I have been waiting for since I first woke up to my new life. With Edward and Jasper still out hunting, I am free to be alone with my thoughts and feelings, and I can't help the joy and excitement that I feel.
The first memory that I have is not of waking up nor even where I was or what I was feeling when I opened my eyes and found myself facing eternity. In fact, my first memory isn't even really a memory at all. My first memory was actually a vision. I know that my family is convinced that my first vision must have been of Jasper, and it was confidence in my future with him that kept me from turning into a total savage. However, they are wrong.
The vision I had was of was not of Jasper, or even the day that I would finally find Carlisle and Esme. It was of my whole family, all eight of us, together at last. It was of this day. And I knew in that moment, before I even drew my first breath, that I would do anything, endure anything, to see that vision come true, even though I would have to wait many decades before the vision would be complete. It was this vision that nurtured me through the volatile newborn years, and sustained me through the long lonely years before I finally found Jasper.
Finding Jasper was like seeing for the first time after years of wandering around blind. For the first time, I could truly see the beauty of my world and the benefits of immortality. Imagine having eternity to spend with the love of your life, well existence anyway, but as much as I loved Jasper and felt the same from him, I knew there was still something missing. Without the rest of my, as yet undiscovered, family, I was not whole.
Once I had Jasper, I made searching for my family a priority. I explained to Jasper their unique lifestyle, and he was skeptical but willing to try for my sake. I watched every random vision for a glimpse of them, and it was at this time that I truly learned to use my gift. Before, I had always waited for the visions to come to me, and now I was actively searching the future for what I sought. After waiting so long for Jasper, I wasn't willing to wait for the rest.
At last I located them, and Jasper and I raced off to join them. I felt like I knew them after watching their futures for so long, and I already loved them. However, turning up suddenly like we did, knowing everything about them, was very startling for them, especially Carlisle and Esme. I claimed Edward's room for my own because I knew he would forgive me. I already knew I was going to be his favorite sibling, partially because we would get along so well, but also because, for the first time, he would have someone who truly understood what it was like to have an overwhelming gift.
Esme's light touch on my shoulder drew my attention back to the task at hand. We hung the last of the decorations swiftly. The perfectionist in me required that I go from room to room examining every detail. Here and there, I made minor adjustments. I wanted everything to be beautiful and perfect on this special day. Finally, the sun was high enough in the sky that I could go and collect Bella from her home. As I slid behind the wheel of my Porsche, I let myself drift back into my memories.
Despite the joy of having found my family though, something still wasn't right. I was like a jigsaw puzzle missing the final piece. I loved my new family and was full of joy at having them and Jasper, but I couldn't help wanting my missing piece. Some people believe that their soul mate is the person that they fall in love with, and to a certain extent, that is true, but a soul mate can also be the person who is your best friend. Jasper was the love of my existence, my true mate in every way, and I held no part of myself back from him. But I was still missing my soul mate. I was still missing Bella.
It's a strange feeling, missing someone you haven't actually met yet, and yet I did. I loved Bella with an intensity that would surprise my family if they knew about her, but I was careful never to think about her when either Edward or Jasper were around. I knew everything about her, and yet, I didn't know her at all. The promise of my best friend, my sister really, was sweet but all too distant at times, especially when Rosalie was getting on my nerves.
At last, we were in Forks, and it was the day of Bella's arrival. I was so excited I could barely contain my enthusiasm. I know Jasper felt my emotions and was confused by them, but I couldn't help myself. I felt sure that today was the day the pieces would finally fall into place for me. I had never foreseen Edward's response to her, however. When the vision came, I was afraid I would be too late to prevent the destruction not only of my brother's only love, but the final piece of my own soul. Somehow, Edward resisted the temptation of her blood, and found the strength to flee, but I already knew it would be a wasted effort. He wouldn't be able to stay away for long.
I neglected to take into account his stubbornness, however. I thought sure once he knew her future, he would stop fighting his attraction to her; so, I deliberately revealed my vision of the future to him, but unaccountably, it made him resist the call of her soul to his even more. Honestly, as much as I love my brother, he was driving me crazy! I had already waited so long for Bella; I was having a hard time being patient with his perverse insistence on staying away from her.
Then he finally gave in. He opened himself up to her, and she loved him as I always knew she would. He brought her home to meet us, and I could see how immediately everyone loved her, well everyone but Rosalie, but then Rosalie's always been stubborn. I was sure everything would go smoothly now. I even went so far as to contact the designer I knew had created the dress I saw Bella wearing in my original vision. I was confident in that outcome as a reality, but as has been proven repeatedly since then, my gift is not perfect.
I stopped the flow of my memories as I pulled in up in front of Bella's house. I raced up to the door and knocked, but I could hardly contain my impatience as I waited for her to answer the door. One look at Bella's face had me frowning. Good grief! It looks like she hasn't slept at all! I thought to myself. A closer look at her eyes made me wonder if perhaps she had been having nightmares after Edward left the previous night. I knew from experience that Bella had a tendency to have nightmares any time he left her alone at night. Although I was grumbling at her for her sleepless appearance, internally, I felt guilty. I should have come and spent the night with her after Edward left to hunt with Jazz and Em. It was what I usually did when he was gone. My presence, in his absence, seemed to help the nightmares not be so bad, but I had been too wrapped up in preparing for the wedding and hadn't thought about how she would feel without him near. I was instantly ashamed of myself. In an effort to distract her from the unpleasant memory of her nightmares, I let drop a few subtle hints about the honeymoon as we drove back to the house. It seemed to work.
As we pulled up in front of the house, I was suddenly anxious about Bella's reaction to the decorations. I decided that maybe it was better if she didn't see them until the wedding. Less for her to get anxious about this way, I thought to myself, as I covered her eyes before leading her into the house. I was gratified, however, by her response to the aroma of the flowers that were everywhere. Finally, we were ensconced in my bathroom. Bella drifted into a light doze at I set about pampering her. I smiled indulgently at her, knowing she couldn't see me, before letting my thoughts return to the memories I had been reliving.
There were so many things my imperfect gift of sight had not prepared me for. First, there was James' attack on Bella, and then the disastrous consequences of her birthday party. My heart broke into a million pieces when Edward forced us all to leave Bella. It was like losing part of my self. I still had Jasper and the rest of my family, but I had lost both Bella and Edward in one fell swoop. The future that I had been waiting for so long now seemed all but hopeless, and yet the vision of Bella as part of our family continued to show up when I searched future events. So, part of me refused to entirely give up hope that it might someday come true. And then came the day when I saw her jump from the cliff. I knew she loved Edward beyond reason, but I never thought she would actually commit suicide. My broken heart shattered yet again, and I raced to Forks in defiance of Edward's orders. I couldn't save her, but I had to say goodbye. I owed my sister that much.
My joy at finding Bella alive was beyond words. I had my sister again, and I was determined to find someway to bring her and Edward back together. I knew he had been fighting the temptation to return to her for months, and I was convinced if he knew the danger she was in, he would no longer be able to resist his desire to return to her. I was determined to call him and convince him to return, but Rosalie got to him before I did. Once more my world was spiraling towards heartbreak. I didn't tell anyone, but when I saw him go to the Volturi, I also saw Bella destroyed, and I knew, if Edward died, so did Bella, and no one would be able to prevent her death this time. I couldn't bear to lose either of them.
Bella's love and courage saved us all, but I knew that it wasn't the end of our trials. Edward is right; Bella is a danger magnet! I knew we still had Victoria to deal with, and recent events had taught me to doubt my gift in ways that I wouldn't have thought possible. I desperately wanted the future I had been waiting for so long, but I knew that defeating Victoria was by no means a foregone conclusion. And yet, whenever I searched the future, my original vision of Bella would reappear, as if that future were solid and unchangeable, but I knew only too well now, that wasn't true.
We were out hunting in preparation for the battle when the vision hit me. Edward kneeling at Bella's feet with her hand in his, and clearly displayed on her finger was the engagement ring he had given her. The elation that I experienced upon receiving this sudden vision stopped me mid run. I stood frozen as the joy rushed through me; if vampires could cry, I would have been doing so in that moment. Jasper felt the sudden change in my emotions and raced back to my side. I could see the curiosity burning in his eyes when he reached me and was briefly overwhelmed by the intensity of the inexplicable elation I was experiencing. It was some moments before I could speak and explain to him what I had seen, but when I did, his joy matched my own. It brought back to mind the joy I had felt when I had finally found him, and I could see the same happy memories drifting through his eyes as well.
After a few moments, we returned to the hunt, but I couldn't keep from smiling. And then I saw Edward promise Bella that they would just run off to Vegas. I wanted to howl in frustration at my brother. Sensing my change in emotion, Jasper turned to me to ask what was wrong, but I was in no mood for conversation. How could he do this to me? I thought in frustration. Running off to Vegas to get married at a drive thru chapel was no way to celebrate the completion of our family! I would just have to get Bella on my side. I knew in the long run that she would be happier with a traditional ceremony; I just had to convince her of that, and suddenly, I knew how to do it.
I tried to get Edward on my side when we got back, but he wouldn't budge. He was concerned with Bella's reaction if he requested something more traditional. So, I pulled out my most tragic face and turned it on Bella. She couldn't resist the urge to comfort me when I was sad. She put her arms around me and held me as if I were as human as she was. It melted my heart when she did that, the fact that she didn't see us as monsters and treated us like people, but I held firm to my determination to get her to agree to a traditional ceremony. In the end, her resolve weakened, and my vision shimmered and cleared as I saw the future I had been waiting for begin to solidify. I couldn't help my elation, though Bella was a little disgruntled by my enthusiasm. Now we just had to make through the battle with the newborns.
We did make it through, but no without some complications. First came my vision of the Volturi's visit. Then Jacob's injury; and finally, the fact that Bella and Edward were left to face Victoria and Riley with only Seth for help, but of course, I didn't know about that until after it was all over. Stupid overgrown dogs! It still irritated me that I couldn't see them. I knew instantly when Bella was far enough away from La Push, and I felt her anguish over the situation as my own. I wanted to go to her myself, but Edward was just so much faster than me. He was racing out of the door to get to her before the vision had even ended. I sighed, and let Jasper sooth my troubled emotions. I settled into his embrace contentedly because I knew, as much as my heart ached for what Bella was going through right now, the happy ending was in sight. Finally, the future was as secure as I always hoped it would be.
"They're back," Rosalie's voice pulled me from the abstraction of my thoughts.
"Keep him out of here!" I hissed back.
"He won't cross you today," Rosalie responded. "He values his life too much. Esme's got them finishing things up out back. Do you want some help? I could do her hair."
I watched as Bella's jaw fell open in shock. I was just as shocked as she was, but I managed to control my expression. I glanced up to study Rosalie, and there was just a hint of a smile on her face. Whether it was amusement at Bella's reaction or a sign that Rosalie was beginning to thaw towards her, I wasn't sure, but I took it as a positive sign and decided to encourage it. I explained to Rosalie what I wanted and left her to it while I went back to working on Bella.
Finally, everything was done, and I sent Rosalie off to fetch Bella's dress. I was watching Bella's reaction as I fastened the buttons up the back of the dress. She looked like she was about to hyperventilate. I chuckled to myself, so low that Bella couldn't hear, and encouraged her to take some deep breaths. I left her alone for a moment so I could get dressed, but I stationed Jasper outside the door just in case her anxiety started to overwhelm her. I was dressed and back to her so fast that he laughed at me as I flitted back through the door, but he flashed a brilliant smile at me as he caught the excited tenor of my emotions. Bella's mother came in the door a few minutes later gushing with emotion. Bella and I exchanged a look as her mother guessed the wrong time period of the dress. After Bella opened her gift from her parents, I slid the jeweled combs into her hair. Then I flipped a garter into her hands just for the opportunity to see her blush.
Finally the music started, and I made my way down the stairs. I took my place and turned expectantly, waiting for Bella to appear. I looked at Edward's face as she came into view. The look on his face was worth a thousand words. It spoke of his elation at this moment as well as the love and devotion he felt for Bella. I couldn't contain the pure joy that enveloped me as he and Bella began to exchange their vows. Jasper winked at me, but his smile conveyed a wealth of feeling to me as he sampled the emotions of the room.
When the minister pronounced them husband and wife, I felt something click inside of me. I realized that it was the final piece of my personal jigsaw puzzle snapping into place. My family was whole. This was the moment. This was the vision that I had woken to with my new life. It was the hope of this day, of this moment, that had sustained me through all the long years and the trials we had faced, and now it was here. It was true, and finally, I was complete at last.