WITH YOU
"Dammit Kyle, why aren't you here right now?" I stare up at the ceiling, a blank Stare back. My years old guitar was placed upon me as I lay down, thinking, why?
He was the one that always cheered me up and have good laughs. The one that has a good comment to make fun of Cartman, the one that would help and support me. But he wasn't here and I want him here, I want him to be with me. I must be saying this to myself everyday that he would come back and before I knew it, I was in love with him, but no way to tell him how I feel.
My heart had sunken when I heard the news. Some racist bastard took and murmured him. In his very own house. In his very own room while he was sleeping. The guy was never caught; besides, old fatass here was crying his eyes out only saying that he had dust in his eyes. Kenny and I knew the truth. But I myself couldn't cry over his death not even in my sleep. Seeing him in my dreams everyday, mistaking him for the wrong person.
I tried a new relationship, but ended up getting rejected. My entire mind was on Kyle, because I loved him. It was like that one saying, 'I got money on my mind and my mind on my money,' but instead of money it as Kyle. I couldn't be with anyone else but Kyle.
His words, his lips forming a comforting smile, the way he looks at me with those oblivious green eyes. His curly, auburn hair, the way his hair unfurls when he takes off his green cap. How he rarely cries, but only silent ones. The way he moves his body, how his body moves to react, the way his hips moves when he turns when someone makes fun of him.
When he takes a test, I would stare and watch him at time goes on. He would lightly drum his fingers and biting on the tip of his eraser, solving a problem through. I would get caught and the teacher would automatically assume I was cheating. I would try to find some excuse, to not get caught from staring. I always laugh at that time, but I just stare out the window, trying to forget these feelings for you.
One day, when street lights were out, I attempted to do suicide. I went through the forest, out of South Park. I ran, not having a clue where I was going. That was until I found a cliff. Not three feet deep nor four, but miles down.
I stared down the exposing hill, thinking. If I were to jump down, I would see you again, Kyle. I took a step forward, but wasn't I just exaggerating? How could you live with my self if you did that? What about people that are still alive and care for you? What about them? That's what people would say. My response; Kyle didn't have a chance, his was taken away. Then they didn't say anything afterwards.
I took another step, closing my eyes, centimeters away from my falling death. Before I took that one last step, a hand grabbed me. Forcibly pulling me away from the cliff, I tried to fight back, Kenny was stronger than me.
I told him,' just let me go! Kyle needs me, He didn't deserve it!'
In a calm voice, Kenny had said,' I know he didn't deserve it, but you don't either. We can find the culprit and kick his ass to hell.'
Kenny was right, I could revenge him. I could avenge Kyle.
Kenny and I would actually go around interrogating people, people that had to do with molesting, raping, and murdering. Though we didn't get very far when a group of people ganged up on us. We were close to being beaten to death, especially Kenny; he was in the hospital longer than I was. Bruised face, black eyes fractured bones, etc... I would have hated my self if Kenny had died for him helping me.
Though that time had passed and I was starting to feel empty. I tried calling back for you, tried avenging you. Now I'm here on my bed, still thinking about you. Wishing you was still here with me. Looking back at the ceiling with watery eyes, the wall above me forming Kyle, in my mind. My life had stopped when you were gone. Finally crying, a warm tear slid off my cheeks, soaking my hair underneath me. I licked my lips.
"Kyle, I miss you."
Well, I just had to, I guess. Then again I kinda feel bad about doing this... D: