Sky: sighs I know I should be updating Ducklings but I couldn't help but write this. It's not my normal style but I think it turned out pretty well. Now, I assume you all know that I don't own House, but if you don't, I don't own House. Crush my hopes and dreams will ya! Also, remember to...review! It should be pretty easy to tell who's who in this, they alternate lines. First Cuddy, then House. ONWARD!
Late Night Chat
"House..."
"..."
"House are you awake?"
"No."
"But you just answered me."
"That's a common misconception. I am Dark House subbing for House incase his EVIL wife decides to pester him at...three in the morning..."
"Oh."
Silence.
"House, we need to talk."
"Cuuuuuudddyyyy..."
"Oh, come on, anything we talk about now will be the same in four hours."
"Untrue. I will be able to properly insult you in four hours."
"House."
"Fine. Speak, woman of the house."
" I want to know what you thought of me in college."
"Dear...god..."
"Answer or you go to clinic!"
(sighs) "You were a smart, pretty..."
"I know that, dummy. What did you think?"
"I thought you were a smart, pretty girl..."
"I can see where this is going."
"It's three in the morning. It's going to sleep now."
-----
"House?"
"..."
"House...?"
"...there is no god. "
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"No god would allow you to torture me thus."
"...Point."
------------
"Are you still awake?"
"No. But I am going to kick you."
"We still need to talk."
"We talked. And I'm still going to kick you."
"Oh no you won't..."
There is silence. Then a loud thwap!
"OW!"
"..."
"I know you're still awake, Cuddy. Sulking."
"..."
Sighs. "Fine, what do you want to talk about?"
"Children."
"They smell. Goodnight!"
"I want them."
"I don't."
"Do you really want to fight me?"
"No. You always win."
"Marriage is a compromise."
"No, marriage is letting the woman have her way or the man accidentally wakes up dead."
"Point."
---------
"House?"
"If you kill me in my sleep, I'll tell everyone you did it."
"...but...you'll be dead..."
"..."
"House?"
"Damn it!"
-------------------
"House, I still want children."
"And I still don't want to wake up dead."
"That's an oxymoron."
"You are one of those words and it isn't the prefix."
"..."
"...Cuddy...?"
"..."
"...please don't kill me..."
"House, I'm just going to tell you. I'm pregnant."
"..."
"House? Husband?"
"...I'm here."
"What do you think?"
"...I'm here..."
"What do you think about the pregnancy, idiot."
"...I'm here..."
"Cuddy?"
"Yes?"
"I have decided that I am...glad...you are pregnant."
"Really? How come?"
"Don't push it."
Silence...
"House?"
"Yes, my lovely wife?"
"One more thing..."
"Nothing could phase me now, Cuddles."
"We're having twins..."
"..."
"House...?"
"HOLY SH...!"
"Cuddy, wake up!"
"House, it's three in the morning! I should be sleeping!"
"You can't tell me we're having twins and then sleep!"
"Sleeping is the normal thing to do at this time. It is three A.M after all."
"I'm not going to be able to sleep after that."
"Suffer alone. Goodnight, House. Sweet dreams."
"...maybe it'll be the wife that wakes up dead the next morning..."
"Goodnight, husband."
"Goodnight, soon to be corpse."