The newsies were bored. They had nothing to do that day since Pulitzer was not able to get the articles he needed to print newspapers.
"Well, what ah we gonna do?" asked Skittery. Race's ever-ready answer,
"Play some pokah!" was almost out when Jack walked in and said, with a twinkle in his eye,
"Medda's out an' says we got Oyvin' Hall to ahselves tanight!" This of course set off a joyous racket among the boys.
"What ah we waitin' fouh?" asked Race, all thoughts of poker erased. Then there ensued a bustle that was terrible to behold. 'Carrying the Banner' could have been sung with many more "Move your elbow"s and "Pass the towel"s. Finally all of the boys were ready. A parade could not have been more joyful than the troop of boys that marched down the street to Irving Hall.
As soon as they got inside, it was like turning liitle kids loose in a toy store. David tried to calm them down, but to no avail. Les was hunting high and low for Tobe's store of candy. Suddenly Boots burst out with a:
"ABC, it's easy as
123, ah simple as
Do-Re-Mi, ABC, 123
Baby you and me girl!"
which gave Jack an idea.
"Hey fellas! Le's put togeddah a Vaudeville show!" some newsies
groaned, while others applauded. Soon it was decided. Jack sent Kid Blink and Mush to scout for boys costumes (which were hard to find). He then chose Race, David, Skittery and Les to be in the show. The rest of the newsies waited for a long time, until finally the lights went dim, and the curtain rose to reveal a juggling clown. It took them a while to realize it was Skittery. After he was done, there was some scattered applause from people who knew the could never learn to do the same (ahem, Spot, ahem). Then they waited again for a little bit before the lights went dim and the curtain rose again. They heard a voice offstage say
"Now, Jack, are you sure about this?" which was answered by a,
"Yes, I'm positive, now get out deah NOW!" and David stumbled onto stage wearing a stovepipe hat and a nice suit. At first he looked a little bewildered, but then he recovered himself and began to to
walk across the stage. He opened his mouth to say something, but just then Boots, (who'd had a little too much sarsparilla) decided he needed to be on stage, so he stumbled up there and began to sing:
"Stop! he love you say may be your own,
Darling take it slow, or someday you'll be all alone..."
until the hook came out and pulled him off stage. David was of course overjoyed for an excuse to get off the stage. After the general chaos was quieted, the curtain rose yet again to disclose a very tall Les. A few of the boys rose from their seats, but then sank back down and felt pretty foolish when the realized he was on stilts. Les looked confident, but one wrong step put him off balance, and the boys watched as he took one step forward and two steps back, one step to the side, try to balance on one foot while waving his arms, then collapse on the stage. All the newsies laughed, then clapped to make him feel better. Then they all waited expectantly for Race, who they knew was likely to do anything, and they were right. Race appeared presently and started to sing:
"Wishin' I was, In da stands at a race somewheah,
Got da blue sky, breeze, an' it don' seem faih (fair),
Only worry in da woyld is my houhse( horse) gonna beat dat maih (mare).
Sunrise is a fiah (fire) in da sky
Nevah been so happy, nevah felt so high,
An' I think I might a' foun' me my own kinda paradise."
He tried to do some fancy footwork, but as he hadn't had time to practice much, he failed miserably and got a few snickers to boot. e was about to do something else funny, when he looked to his left, gave yelp, and ran off the stage into the middle of the startled newsies. Jack appeared on stage riding a horse. Then all the newsies started laughing, and the ones nearest Race turned to say,
"Man Race! Youh a good actah! I really thought you wah scahed!" But they saw that the fear was not genuinely gone from his face. And then all the newsies learned on e of Race's deep, dark secrets: As much as Race went to the racetracks, let a horse get within 20 feet of him and he was scared stiff! That made all the newsies laugh harder, and they decided it was the perfect ending to a not-so-perfect show, and a more-than-perfect day.