Troubles on the way to Paradise
Cartoon Shakespeare
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER OR ANY OTHER CHARACTERS RELATED TO HIM.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
PROLOUGE
"Get up! Get up you worthless freak and make us breakfast!"
Harry slowly opened his hazy eyes to the painful world that he lived in. He could feel every ache and pain in his body from all the fresh bruises he had received from his uncles late night 'session' with him. He tried to sit up, but the pain consumed his body with every movement he made. He was sure that he had a broken arm from a couple of weeks ago, but his leg was almost assuredly broken last night. He shuddered at the memory of the loud snapping sound his bone made as his uncles foot connected with his leg.
"GET UP I SAID!"
"Yes Aunt Petunia, I'm coming"
He forced himself to stand with his right leg as straight as he could hold it without hurting. Slowly, he wobbled over to the closet on the far side of the room with pain lacing his being with every step he took. Quietly, yet quickly, he got dressed in the overly-sized-hand-me-down clothing from his cousin Dudley. He was dressed in less than three minutes and slowly limped to the door, knocking to let his aunt know to unlock the locks on his door.
The sound of sliding metal, one after the other, signaled his release from the small confinement of the room. The door swung open sharply, almost hitting him square in the face, missing him by mere centimeters.
"Let's go, I want you to fix breakfast before you pack to leave for that place" she spat with malice.
"Yes Aunt Petunia" he said, looking at the floor.
His aunt walked away and Harry slowly followed, trying not to show the obvious discomfort that walking gave him. The stairs were a large obstacle, but he made them with hard effort. He walked into the kitchen, continuing past his aunt who stopped next to his uncle, who was seated at the table. He could practically feel his uncles searing hot stare on his back as he walked to the fridge to retrieve the items for breakfast. He quickly got to work making the Dursley's breakfast and soon the family of three was eating while the starving teen watched them.
It took another fifteen minutes for the family to finish breakfast before he was offered a piece of bread for his meal of the day. He quickly ate it greedily before he was rushed off by his aunt, telling him to get ready to leave to make the train to go to 'the freak place'.
The next hour was spent in his room, waiting for his uncle to tell him that they could go. When the large man did come into his room, he was scared to see that his uncle had closed the door behind him. Harry simply kept his head down in the submissive position as his uncle had 'taught' him into doing. Loud, hefty footprints sounded as his uncle walked across the floor before his head was jerked up by a painful grip in his hair.
"Now you listen here boy, no one is to know what goes on in this house or there will be consequences! Do you understand?" he rasped
Harry quickly nodded his assent to his uncle's threat before the air was knocked out of him as said uncle punched him in the stomach. Tears threatened to surface, but he knew from experience that tears simply angered the large man more, so he held them in.
"Speak to me properly freak!"
"Yes, sir. I understand sir." He whimpered
The grip in his hair was released and his uncle walked right out of the room.
"Come on boy! We don't have all day!"
Harry jumped up, despite the pain it caused him and followed behind his uncle, carrying his trunk.
Where was Hedwig you might say? Luckily, for Harry, he told Hedwig to stay at Hogwarts at the end of the year to ensure that one of his closest friends stayed alive and not victim to his uncle's rage.
The ride from the house to the train station was a quiet one and the longest Harry ever thought possible. However, when they arrived, the moment Harry closed the trunk to his uncle's car, the car sped off never to be seen by Harry again, much to his relief.
That was his last summer at the Dursley's and never would he miss them. He noticed several people watching…staring at him, no doubt from the bruises on his face, so he continued on his walk to the platform. He liked it when his uncle dropped him off earlier than most of the other students. With a quick motion, despite his broken leg, he got onto the train and sat into a compartment, locking the door and shutting the blind behind him.
Harry sighed a breath of relief that no one had saw him with his marks. Those 'marks' as he called them, were just that. They were the signs of his weakness against his muggle uncle and his family. Sure, he had destroyed the most powerful dark wizard of the century at the end of last years school term, but at what cost. He was still forced to go back to the hell hole that Dumbledore said was safe because rouge death eaters were free and out to get him.
Pulling out of his own thoughts, he went to his work, covering the shameful reminders of his pitiful life with heavy glamour charms. One by one, they were put onto his body and he sighed when he looked at his reflection in the compartments window.
His skin was back to it's tan yet white demeanor and he smiled at a job well done.
SLAM!
Harry unwillingly jumped and fell backwards at the loud and abrupt noise as it startled him. He scrambled back against the seat, very tense and afraid.
"Whoa mate! What's gotten you so jumpy."
Harry relaxed as he heard the voice of his best friend, Ron Weasley. He knew that Ron would never hurt him…not after all they went through together. Ron would never hit him in a fit of anger or call him 'freak' or 'boy'.
"Ronald, how can you be so dense. Of course he's jumpy! You should realize that after what happened at the end of last school term. Not to mention he's go all of those death eaters after him!"
There was Harry's other friend, Hermione Granger. She was the smartest of all three of them and Harry knew it even if him and Ron would never admit it aloud. She also wouldn't do such horrible things to him.
"Sorry mate, I keep forgetting all of that 'death eaters out to get you' thing"
Harry smiled at his best friend with true understanding. "No problem Ron"
"So Harry, are you ready for our last year at Hogwarts." Hermione asked him.
"Actually Hermione," he said and nodded, "I think I am. Besides what could happen?"
What could happen indeed…
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
The Golden Trio as they became known, were sitting quietly in their compartment, talking about their summers. Well at least Ron and Hermione were. Harry was more silent, and his friends were taking notice to this, passing glances his way every once in a while, but he simply stared out the window almost never blinking and breathing steadily.
Harry couldn't help but feel the weight of their occasional stares. He suddenly felt self conscious and nervous, but he still forced himself to stay calm…Maybe they wouldn't notice?
"Harry?"
Damn, they did notice and leave it to Hermione to bring it up!
"Yes?" He said turning to Hermione
"Are you alright? You seem…different."
Harry internally snorted. Different. Yeah that was a good word for it. Why didn't she just come out and say it! He was a freak! A worthless being that doesn't deserve to breathe air! Why couldn't they just stop torturing him and tell him to go away!? Were they just going to wait to tell him that, that way he could suffer more and more!?
BAM!
Only two heads looked to the opening of the compartment as the door slammed open to reveal Draco Malfoy.
Hermione smiled and Ron simply rolled hi eyes as the blonde strode forward into the compartment.
"Hi Draco" Hermione greeted.
"Hello Granger" he replied, looking around.
After a moments silence of looking in Harry's direction, he asked in a silent gesture, 'what's wrong with Harry'.
Hermione shrugged her shoulders with another worried look. Draco slowly moved to Harry's side, sitting down but the boy never noticed.
"Harry?"
He didn't answer, and this caused Draco to become more concerned. This time, he put a hand on Harry's shoulder.
"Harry?"
Harry jumped at the contact and refrained from recoiling as he turned to the person that had been the closest friend since the end of the war.
"Harry, what's wrong?" he asked
The raven-haired boy looked at his blonde-haired friend and stared for a little while before turning away again saying, "I'm fine"
Silence
That was what answered his own silent unknown plea for help, but Draco was still looking at him with a peculiar expression on his face. He opened his mouth and began to speak again.
"Harry I don't thi-"
TOOOOOOOT!
The whistle to the train sounded and Harry immediately jumped up to avoid Draco's prodding.
"We're almost to Hogwarts. I'm going to go get ready."
And with that, he walked out of the compartment and away from his friends.
They watched him go with fascination and worry. Harry had never acted like this before…so distant.
"Something went bad, didn't it Draco?" Hermione asked, not really needing an answer.
Draco nodded. "I think so, Granger," he said
The rest of the ride, Harry never showed up and it was rode in complete silence.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
"Harry, please eat, you must be hungry," Hermione pleaded.
It had been two days past the welcoming feast and Harry had yet to eat anything. The first night, his friends didn't say anything, nor did they say anything at breakfast the next day but during lunch, his friends bugged him until he ate at least half of a roll and some pumpkin juice. After that, they didn't say anything until dinner that night and it continued even now as it was dinner the next day. Harry was seriously considering skipping meals altogether just to escape Hermione and Ron's ranting about him not eating.
Harry shoved his plate away with disgust. "I'm not hungry Hermione, please stop pushing!"
Hermione looked sad, but turned away after his plead and chose to protest silently.
However, Harry's strange behavior did not go unnoticed for very long as the teachers exchanged looks. They all knew something was wrong with their prized pupil, but none of them could get close enough to Harry to find out and it was frustrating them. Not even Hagrid could get anything from him.
All of a sudden, Harry stood and stomped out of the Great Hall, disappearing from view. They could see Hermione crying and Ron comforting her and also they could see Draco Malfoy heading out of the Hall to catch up to Harry.
The teachers had talked to Harry's friends after a few days of his strange behavior and told them to report to any teacher if they found out anything, so they all knew that if anything new developed that everything would be well covered.
They just hoped that everything was alright with their favorite teen.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
"Harry! Harry! Wait up!" Draco called.
The boy in question, continued to walk away from the Great Hall, ignoring Draco as much as he could.
"Harry!"
Finally, he stopped, but he did not turn around.
"What is your problem Harry?!" Draco asked breathlessly as he had to run to catch up to his friend.
"Nothing" he bit out.
"What's with you lately?!" Draco asked angrily, not noticing the recoil in Harry's stature as he continued. "Your reclusive, you won't eat and you won't talk to any of us! What the hell is going on?!" Draco yelled at him.
Harry backed away several steps in fear, but showed no emotion on his face. "I'm fine Draco, I just want to be by myself and I'm not hungry" he lied. "I fill up on the snacks I have in my dorm while I'm working on homework."
Draco stared at him incredulously. "Did you just stand there and bold faced lie to me?!" he questioned.
Harry scowled. "No"
"I can tell when someone is lying Harry! And you just did…twice!"
Harry could feel tears coming and quickly turned away. "Whatever" he said and ran.
"Harry, wait!"
He paid no attention to the calling of his name as he ran to his dorm to cry in seclusion
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Harry collapsed onto his canopy bed in the boy's dorms late one fall night, two weeks into term. So far, his year had been good and he had hid his uncles 'marks' very well. He shuddered, and forced those thoughts away. The remembrances of his life so far were usually the reason for some of his more…suicidal thoughts.
Harry shook off the feeling of deep despair and depression. He couldn't let anyone know that he felt this way. It was bad enough that they, along with others, probably had some suspicions due to his jumpiness, lack of social interaction and the fact that he had been skipping meals because he wasn't used to eating so much in one day. When the suspicions would start, then they would think something was wrong, and no matter how right they were, Harry would deny it and then they'd just try to figure it out on their own. Harry sighed. His friends were very predictable that it was pitiful, but he would never admit that aloud. Besides, they were just trying to be good friends, even if it was annoying.
Ron and Hermione were practically in all of his classes except for potions. Somehow, he managed to be the only Gryffindor who volunteered to do potions this year. How messed up was that? All of his classes were hard, sure, but they were also tolerable. Potions even seemed foreign to him now because of all the Slytherins joining the light right before the final battle.
Thump, thump thump thump
Harry moved on his bed and scrambled under the covers as he heard someone come up his dormitory stairs. Quickly, he shoved his curtains together and made it look like he was asleep. He thought it to be Ron or Hermione at first, but the footfalls were too heavy to be theirs. Those footsteps were next followed by heavy yet more graceful sounds of the same sort. Harry was quiet, even through his confusion. As soon as the door slammed open, he became frightened but held in his tremors and closed his eyes, evening out his breathing, making it look like he was sleeping.
His curtains were ripped apart and still he kept up the act. That is…until he was yanked from his bed by large and forceful hands.
Harry yelped, pulling his arm from the grasp, falling off the opposite side of the bed with a loud thud.
"Severus was that really necessary." a curt voice scolded.
No one answered the question, but Harry was too busy trembling on the opposite side of the bed, having flashbacks at the most inopportune time.
"Potter get out here now!" Snape barked.
Quickly, Harry scrambled up and ran to stand in front of the angry Potions Master with his head bowed and hands behind his back, just like his uncle had taught him.
"Explain on why you have not been showing up to meals"
Harry cringed at the surprising slight disappointment and worry in the Slytherin's voice.
"I'm not hungry Sir" he answered with a low voice.
He felt a hand being placed on his cheek and it lifted his face to look at his Head of House, Professor McGonagall.
"Harry you haven't eaten in six days, you must be hungry." She insisted.
Harry quickly lowered his gaze back to the ground. "But…"
"No buts Potter, the headmaster sent us to bring you down to the Great Hall to eat." He said, taking in the boys small stature. "You are severely undernourished. I can even see it from here."
Harry hugged his body as if trying to hide the proof of his carelessness and fear. "But I'm not hungry" he protested in a small voice.
He felt Professor McGonagall shift and knew she was looking back at Professor Snape with a worried look. He silently cursed himself. He was showing one of his weaknesses and they were bound to know that something was wrong, but he couldn't help it…he felt like the bubble was about to burst.
"What's wrong Harry? Why have you been so quiet and reclusive? You can tell us…" Professor McGonagall said softly.
Harry shook his head, shaking away tears so that his Professors would get anymore suspicious. "Nothing's wrong Professor, I'm just not used to eating so…"
The internal alarms in Harry's head went off as soon as the words passed his lips.
"What do you mean, 'not used to eating'? Don't those pathetic muggles feed you?" Professor Snape asked with concern.
Harry's voice caught in his throat and he choked on his words. "I-I..."
Hands jerked him to face another direction and he looked up to see Professor Snape. He was looking at him intently and was silent for a moment, studying Harry's face.
"Professor McGonagall I must ask that you leave us for a moment."
Harry tensed in Snape's hold and became extremely frightened. What was he going to do?
"I don't think that I should leave. The boy is obviously terrified Severus."
"Minerva I must insist, although he may be frightened you can mark my words when I say that harm will no longer come onto this boy." He vowed
Harry looked to Professor McGonagall with pleading eyes for her not to leave him and panic set in when she nodded and began to walk away, out of the dorms. His breathing increased and he tried to fight against the tight hold on his shoulders.
"Mr. Potter, do not panic, I will not harm you in anyway. I promise."
Harry continued to struggle, with his eyes closed to the world, holding back the tears that threatened to fall. Subconsciously, he knew that Professor Snape would never hurt him, but the fright and flashbacks did not help him to calm down. His body was beginning to instinctively curl up on itself to protect his vital organs. He felt his body fall down to the ground and long arms cradle him carefully.
"No uncle please….I'll be good. I promise not to be a freak! I PROMISE!" he screamed, still protecting himself.
There was no answer to his cries, but he did notice movement out of the side of his vision, unable to tell what it was that the Professor was doing.
His answer came a moment later when hands pried his head up and poured something soothing down his throat. His tensed body immediately relaxed and he knew that the Professor had given him a calming draught.
"Harry, your uncle is not here and I would never raise my hand to your or call you such degrading names. I am your friend now, not just your professor." He said and surprisingly the words calmed Harry even more.
"Yes, sir"
Snape picked him up gently and lay him down on his bed, tucking him in. "Rest now Harry. We will discuss this when you are awake and fully alert. In the meantime, I will go speak to the headmaster"
Harry's reaction was immediate, despite the calming draught in his system. He reached up, grasping the potion masters robes with wide eyes. "NO! No, you can't. I can't be a disappointment to him! Please don't tell him!" he cried
Snape wrenched the boy's grasp from his clothing and lay him back down. "Harry, calm down, he will not think of you as a disappointment. This was beyond your control and he will understand that."
Despite all of the 'training' he had went through, he started to cry. "No please…" he begged one last time, but the only reaction he got was another potion down his throat. This one he had no time to figure what it was as he slipped into sweet darkness.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Snape made quick work of putting the distraught boy to sleep with his dreamless sleeping potion. That was his strongest dose, guaranteed to keep him asleep for at least two hours. With that set time in his mind, he quickly made it down the dormitory stairs. He wasn't the least bit surprised to see many of the Gryffindor faces looking concerned and one Ronald Weasley looking murderous.
"What the hell did you do to him?" the angry red head yelled
Snape sneered in the direction of the second youngest Weasley.
"Mr. Weasley! Twenty Points from Gryffindor for swearing to a teacher!" Professor McGonagall scolded before walking up to Severus.
"Everyone is dismissed to the common room until further notice." She ordered and everyone filed out, even one reluctant Ronald Weasley.
After everyone had filed out of the hallway, Professor McGonagall was quick to ask questions.
"What happened Severus? We heard him scream! Did he say anything else?" her questions just rambled on and on, emphasizing her worry as she went on.
Severus' head was about to burst with all the questions she was asking. "Silence Minerva!" he yelled.
The woman looked startled but realized the annoyance that her questions, in no doubt, had caused him. "I apologize" she said
Severus gave a rare smile. "No need to apologize, but I must say that I am gravely concerned about Potter and I shall only repeat my suspicions once in a teachers meeting with Dumbledore. Please make the arrangements for it to be as soon as possible. I want to be back here by the time he wakes up."
Minerva nodded and they both left, heading for the headmasters office.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
"Well Severus, now that everyone is present, will you please tell me what was so important that you called every teacher and staff member to my office." Dumbledore said calmly.
Severus stood and addresses every teacher in the room. "I have reason to believe that Harry Potter has been abused by his relatives."
Gasps came from almost everyone in the room.
"Surely you must be mistaken." came the voice of Flitwick.
"I am not. His reaction toward being alone with another person who is taller, larger and stronger than he is has shown that."
"What proof do you have Severus?" Dumbledore asked, truly concerned for his favorite student.
"As of now I have but a single memory of his reaction when I was left alone with him. I asked Professor McGonagall to leave us alone so that we may talk and he acted negatively towards that. I will demonstrate simply by showing you."
Severus placed his wand at his temple and said, "mesorsal"
Suddenly the memory was replayed like a large projection but through the Severus' line of vision.
"Mr. Potter, do not panic, I will not harm you in anyway. I promise."
"No uncle please….I'll be good. I promise not to be a freak! I PROMISE!" he screamed, still protecting himself.
The memory was short but it showed exactly what Severus feared and all of the staff looked stricken with grief.
"We will investigate this further Severus, thank you for bringing it to my attention. As for you all, I want you to keep a close eye on Harry"
Everyone nodded their consent before they all filed out of Dumbledore's office, all except for Severus, who stayed behind.
"Was there something else that you required Severus?"
The dark-haired man nodded and sighed. "Sir, Potter is quite worried that you will be disappointed in him for being an abused child…"
Dumbledore was momentarily shocked still until he shook his head. "I could never be disappointed in him for that Severus and I shall be sure to reassure him of that as soon as I can."
Severus nodded and quickly took his leave to watch over Potters actions before the potion wore off.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Harry slowly opened his eyes to see that he was back in his bed in his four-poster bedroom. His disorientation quickly left him as the memories of what happened earlier came back to him and he immediately burst into rivers of tears.
They knew his secret.
His beloved secret.
His heart clenched and tore into tiny pieces as the last shred of self-respect was shredded. But what could he do about it?
The overwhelming urge to chuck everything out the window was consuming him.
Would that be the best way to end his pain? Just to take his own life?
His flashback to what Professor Snape had told him last before he fell asleep, answered for him.
Quickly he rushed to the bathroom, closing the door to his dormitory bathroom and rushed to the tub. He immediately spotted one of the boys' razors in the individual holders for each student's latrine belongings. He cried his pain and fell exactly where he stood. He sat there crying for at least ten minutes before he made his final decision.
"Goodbye everybody" he said through huffs of air from his crying.
He picked the razor up from the bathroom floor, where he had dropped it and as if treasuring the moment, brought it slowly to his skin.
Hands wrenched the razor from his hands and threw it across the room where it landed three foot in front of the door.
Harry turned to see the face of the person that would prevent his release from pain and he gasped at the face that he did come to meet.