There was no more of Oyakata-sama… not his voice, not his smile, and not even his warm hands that petted me lightly on my head. Now that he was gone, I had become the ruler of Takeda. Few days ago, Ieyasu-dono had come to ask for help from us to defeat their enemy, Toyotomi Hideyoshi, but I refused. The next day of that day, he came back to us forcing my army to join his army. I fought against him to refuse once more, however his army was way too powerful. Ieyasu-dono has changed and was not the person I have once known. I want him to realize his own mistakes that bonds aren't everything in this world and in order to achieve this goal, I have to fight against him and win. I know he is Oyakata-sama's good friend, but Oyakata-sama also didn't want this before he passed away. To achieve Oyakata-sama's goal to awaken Ieyasu-dono from his 'mistakes', I joined the western force, Ishida Mitsunari-dono's army. And now… in the battle of Sekigahara stands 'him'.
"Long time no see, Sanada Yukimura."
Here stands Date Masamune. As I looked at him, I didn't speak a word. There's no way I would. The impact on me of Oyakata-sama's sudden death was too strong. I faced my back to him and walked away. Masamune-dono called my name several time, but I didn't dare to look at him.
"Yukimura! Where are you going? You aren't going to run away, aren't you?! This is the battle field, you shouldn't retreat easily!"
I ignored him and continued walking.
"Yukimura! I'm here to challenge you! Didn't you always wanted to fight me one-to-one?"
Stopping my movement, I turned around.
"My apologies, Masamune-dono. That won't be happening."
I know I shouldn't retreat however I couldn't fight. I turned my back against him once more. Right then, something grabbed me by my shoulder turning me around. There stood Masamune having his face close up to my own.
"Wake up, Yukimura! You are no longer an original samurai! You are a ruler; you are a leader of Takeda! What will you do if you retreat, what will your subordinates do?!"
Sadly, his words didn't get through my ears. What is leader? What is ruler? What is the point when Oyakata-sama is not here? There's no one to hug me and comfort me. Oyakata-sama was just like a father... and now he is gone. What's the point? Snatching Masamune's hand off of my shoulder, I retreated.
'It's my first time seeing you like this, Yukimura.' Masamune whispered lightly as he watched Yukimura leave the battlefield.
"YUKIMURA!" from far away Masamune spoke, "Before you leave, let me tell you! I am joining the Tokugawa army!"
I stopped and stood still silently and shocked. Tokugawa army… Tokugawa army, the enemy of Mitsunari Ishida's army. We were now not only rivals, but also 'real' enemies. I never thought of fighting him risking my own life or even his… but now… we had to.
Several days passed and the world has gotten into a mess. The battle had begun. Everythig changed and to achieve Oyakata-sama's goal, I had to fight against Tokugawa Ieyasu. Along with Mistunari-dono's army, I stood up against Tokugawa. Mistsunari-dono met Ieyasu-dono face-to-face to fight him one-to-one. I wanted to join in the battle between them, but Date Masamune, stood before my eyes.
"We finally met again, Sanada Yukimura."
I blew a light sigh and look straight into Masamune-dono's eyes.
"Masamune-dono, let me through. My target isn't the Date, but Tokugawa."
I walked my horse pass him and as I passed him something ached in my heart. I felt a bit… sad…? Why? I never felt this way before when I faced him… Each time I faced him, I was excited, happy, and burning to fight him, but now… it ached. I've only lived for Oyakata-sama and in order to achieve his goal I will do anything, but what is this feeling?
Just when I was frustrated about my own feelings, he grabbed me by my arm pulling me off my horse.
"Yukimura." He called my name, as he looked straight in my eyes.
That surprised me… remember Oyakata-sama's goal, I pulled my arm to escape his hand.
"Let go, I have to defeat Ieyasu-dono."
"Yukimura! Are you sure this is what you really want?"
Again, my heart ached. 'What I really want?' I didn't understand. I spoke without hesitation:
"Of course! I've lived only for Oyakata-sama and I am the only one who is able to achieve his goal!"
Why am I feeling so sad even if I know it's for Oyakata-sama's sake?
"Takeda Shinken is DEAD!" he yelled the truth.
Why do you have to say this to me…?
"SHUT UP! He… he is still alive in me…"
I didn't want to face the truth…
"Yukimura! You don't have to sacrifice your own goal for a dead man's sake! He's dead and I believe he doesn't want you to sacrifice your own goal for his."
My heart pounded faster. No…No…NO…NO… I am not sacrificing my own goal… My goal is…
"I am NOT sacrificing my own goal! My goal is to achieve Oyakata-sama's goal!"
I don't understand… I don't even know my goal anymore. I again, turned my back to him.
"Yukimura. You are just trapped by shock by his death. That's stopping you to think about your own goal. You know you have your own goal."
Masamune-dono's voice softened. I don't know… I don't know… Who am I? What am I? I don't know…
"Why can't you just leave me alone?! I have to achieve… 'his'… goal…"
"Go. Go ahead. But… Just don't die." He gave up on getting in my way and allowed me to pass by him.
As I listened to him, I couldn't move any forward. Deeper in my heart somewhere, I didn't wanted him to let me by. My heart ached more. Am I scared? Sad? Annoyed? I don't know… Somebody… Save me…
"Sanada no Dana."
Someone called me from above. Sasuke jumped down from above and stood in front of me. He seemed to notice my feelings.
"Sasuke…" I spoke in a weak voice.
"Dana, you don't have to do this. You have your own goal. We will help you achieve Oyakata-sama's goal. You don't have to force yourself. Turn around and return."
My eyes widened as Sasuke said those words. I didn't have to do it? May I? As my vision blurred from the watered eyes, I looked at Sasuke.
"I…"
"Dana. Return."
Was I free? Sasuke smiled at me. Free… I closed my eyes.
"Thank you…" I thanked Sasuke and wiped the watery eyes.
Sasuke smiled lightly once more and took my troops toward to Tokugawa army. I took a deep breath. I finally could say my goal… My own goal.
"Masamune-dono! My goal is…!"
"Hm~?" Masamune-dono smiled.
"MY GOAL IS TO DEFEAT YOU!"
"WELL SAID! Let's PARTY!"
The battle. OUR battle began.
I grabbed my spears and Masamune-dono held his sword in his hand. Just one sword, he wasn't serious yet. I attacked him with all I've got. My heart pounded faster than any other time. Why was that?
Masamune-dono smiled as he defended himself and spoke, "THIS IS THE REAL SANADA YUKIMURA!"
My heart pounded once more as he drew all six of his swords. As he counterattacked, I blocked his attacks. Our faces were right in front of each other as I blocked.
Ba-thump. BA-THUMP. What? My face burned up.
"Yukimura! Don't let your guard down!"
Once again he swing his swords at me. I defended myself and realized an empty space on him and assault him, however when his face was only few centimeters away from mine, I froze. What?
Ba-thump.
Why can't I stab him? Masamune-dono frowned as he realized my movement stopped. He then gave me a sad look. Why are you making that kind of look? I felt something. Something stabbing through my stomach and to my back… I looked down at my stomach. Masamune-dono's sword entered my flesh creating pain in my stomach as well as my heart. Was I going to die?
Slowly, blood slipped out my mouth down my chin. Then I coughed. What? Is this really the end? Still having to have his sword thrust through my flesh, he spoke:
"Sanada Yukimura… I'm sorry, but you should've known… The day victory comes… that's the day one of us dies. We can't continue fighting forever. There will always be one day we end up dying… either killed by others or each other.
I couldn't see the smile in his face like I did few minutes ago. Why aren't you smiling? Didn't you win? Why aren't you happy? I smiled at him. Why?
"Yuki…"
It's cold… My vision blurred and was losing my conscious. My body weakened and rested on his shoulder then slowly slid off. I could no longer free any part of my body. It's cold… I can't breath… but… why is my heard still warm? Why can I still feel the ache in my heart? It hurts…
Ba-thump.
What?
"Yuki… Oi!"
"Am I… going… to… die?"
It hurts… not my wound, but my heart… I wanted to live a bit longer… I wanted to stay by his side…
"Yukimura, I promise you. I'll promise you to meet you in your next life. When you are reborn, I'll definitely go seek for you. We will meet again. I promise…"
My vision worsened and I could barely see anything. But I could feel his lip pushing again my own.
What? Kiss? What does this mean?
"Masamune… dono…?"
"I love you." He whispered in my ears as he held me tightly in his arms.
'I love you', his words. The ache in my heard disappeared. Is this… Relief?
"Pro…mise…" I spoke as tears slowly ran down my cheek.
Along with my tear, I felt something cold on my cheek. Tears? Is he crying? I smiled for the last time. Love? I slowly closed my eyes.
"I…"
…
…...
…..
..
love you
Masamune-dono
…...
It was one sunny day of spring. I was on my way to school and the wind blew lightly on my face. Sakura blossoms had bloom over the night.
"Y…."
I heard something.
"Yuki…"
Someone's voice. Who?
"Yukimura."
Someone called my name. This gentle voice… who is it? I feel like… I've heard it somewhere…
"YUKIMURA!"
I looked around and there stood a man behind. Who's this person?
Ba-thump.
My heart pounded. Why?
Ba-thump.
I felt this before... When was it, I can't remember. Who was it, I don't remember.
"Yukimura!"
The young man with an eye-patch smiled as me as he called my name.
Suddenly my eyes began to water. Tears slowly slid down my cheeks.
"I… who? Ma…"
Tears were overflowing and I couldn't talk. I knew him… Ma… It was him.
The young man walked toward me and put his hand gently on my cheek.
"Yukimura."
I looked up at him as my tears continue to run down my cheek. I tried to say his name:
"Masa…dono…"
He smiled gently. I wanted to say his name, but I couldn't speak a word, my voice was shivering.
"Yukimura."
He called my name once again and hugged me tightly in his arms. It was warm. His arms, his heat, his voice…
"Masamune-dono…"
I finally said his name. Finally… I grabbed his shirt as he held me in his arms. I didn't want to let go at all; I wanted to be with him this time. I couldn't cry out loud, I still couldn't believe he kept his promise.
Masamune-dono let go of me and put his hands gently on my cheeks once again.
"You see…Yukimura…"
"Uh?" I looked up at him unable to speak.
He put his forehead against my forehead and smiled.
"We met again."
Yes… We met again. Finally. I couldn't stop the crying. I was so happy. I called his name again, again, and again. I finally know…
This is Love.