A/N: This is sort of a sequel to 'The Mutual Weirdness Called Love', which is in all aspects a lighter one-shot. But the current events of the series made me want to write about the situations there for a while now. Enjoy!
Senri, I'll be going for a while.
It had the whiff of a secret, and though Senri Shiki knew that secrets would be endless with his cousin, he knew this kind of secret would be different from all the rest. By principle and by the way his family raised him, Senri knew that there were things nobles had no business in. The mind of a pureblood was not something a noble could fathom. Only another immortal would understand another one. And this was why he didn't ask. Now, however, he wished he had.
It was Rima who handed him the newspaper discreetly in one of their photo shoots in Venice, Italy. The paper was wrapped in a smooth red envelope and the wax seal broken; even in the modern age vampires liked to keep their elegance, even in delivering news. Rima did not say anything but he noted the silent worry for him mirrored in her azure eyes, and knowing that the paper was more likely to give an answer, Senri reached inside and pulled out the news.
He could remember that there was no picture, only the bold typeface of the headline.
Master Kaname: A Dangerous Vampire?
He scanned the page. The story was simple and carried more weight than the actual words used. His cousin had attacked another pureblood, the current head of the Touma family, and then right after that in another paragraph, it was also reported that he'd liquidated the newly-woken leader of the Hanadagi family.
It didn't make sense, to Senri. He sat on the bench, his mind wiped blank, clutching the paper while its red envelope fell to the cobblestone of the street. The words kept repeating in his head.
Dangerous.
Senri, I'll be going for a while.
Dangerous.
Senri, I'll be going for a while.
Dangerous…
He could still remember the abrupt manner in which his cousin dissolved the Night Class. He could remember – the ruins of what had been their dormitory was scattered around them, and the nobles which comprised the former elite body of students stood upon the fallen rocks and pillars, with Kaname standing ahead, his back turned to all of them.
It was nice studying with you all.
And that was it. The Night Class had ended, with seven simple words. But for Senri, seven words was already tall order considering Kaname's nature. He could remember the others trailing silently away, unsure of what to do now with themselves. With the Night Class, their long lives at least had purpose. But now that Kaname had put an end to the masquerade, there was nothing to do suddenly. They had to go back to their former lives. Senri could remember approaching his cousin when everyone had gone. He stood behind his cousin, and he could remember vividly Kaname's blood spattered trench coat, and the hunter scythe he held slack with his right hand, the cutting business end lowered, the curve of it seemingly reaching to the rising sun.
Senri knew that simply acknowledging the love he felt for his cousin would never be enough. There were so many questions that he wanted to ask. So many explanations he needed, he didn't care how Kaname explained it, or how many words he used, what mattered was that Senri at least understood him a bit more than just going into WoW raids with him or chatting about PC specs or popcorn or the latest vampire movie out in the cinemas.
Why did his father go as far as invading Cross Academy like what his absent fiancée had done?
What did his father want with his cousin?
Where did he, Senri, figure out in this entire tangled web?
He could remember how Kaname turned slowly around to face him, the golden ray of the rising sun lightening his features from behind, making him look like this haloed stranger. The scythe's blade seemed to disappear in the brightness, and Senri flinched – the morning light was the most painful to a vampire's eyes.
He couldn't see Kaname's face.
Senri, I'll be going for a while.
Still unseeing he could remember uttering words.
I want to go with you.
He heard Kaname's soft little chuckle.
I want to be alone. Be a good vampire and wait for me.
And that was it – a parting Senri could not do anything about.
It had been a year since Senri had logged into WoW, or for that matter, patched an update to his game client. Since the dissolution of the Night Class he knew in himself that Kaname would not be able to login for a long time. WoW was never the same without his cousin there. There was no point in trying to raid alone, or going into dungeons alone. It was the first time Senri had realized that he had never really played the game with anyone other than Kaname. They had been together since their lowest levels, and he had partied with nobody else because he thought the other players were all jackasses. And now, without Kaname there, there had been no point to anything.
Even his laptop had been untouched for close to a year since.
Much later, after the photo shoot had wrapped up, he and Rima went to his trailer, and for the first time in 10 months Senri had opened his laptop and logged into his e-mails and social networking sites. It wasn't just Kaname who had landed into trouble. Ichijou had also been missing for quite a while now, and the idiot Hanabusa seemed to have gotten himself into the Hunter Associations' bad side. There was something big going on…and Senri was clueless.
There's nothing, said Rima after checking all the email addresses they had.
Senri thought about it for a while.
Rima, I think I'll go on a leave.
He had never drunk Kaname's blood. Of those handful few moments where he and his cousin hid away from prying eyes and shared intimacy, Senri never dared to sink his fangs into his lover's beautiful pale neck. He supposed he was afraid of what he was going to see in the crimson river of living memory. He would be reminded of the distance that still stood between himself and his loved one, a distance so great that if he actually realized it, everything would disappear, like an elaborate illusion put to an end. And Senri knew he could not bear that, ever. Their relationship was a secret thing, and Senri was content with how it was, and that secret was where he took shelter in. And he also knew that if he made himself realize the distance that still stood, the peace of that secret would be destroyed. And there would be nothing else for him.
He wondered what Kaname thought of the memories in his blood. Kaname never said a word about it, never asked him questions. Senri hadn't dared to destroy that final barrier of secrets his cousin had. He did not have the nerve. Though he had often wondered what he would see in Kaname's memories. Surely not just those times where they'd stay up together playing WoW. Or that rainy evening where they sat beside each other and watched lightning fork its way across the sky. Or those stolen moments where they would kiss and touch each other and Senri would gladly bleed for the love of his life.
Surely not.
He wished he'd asked.
He got an inkling of what Kaname was trying to do when out of the blue, Sara Shirabuki started sending out invitations for a second Night Class. He was in Russia when he'd received the sealed blue envelope. And when he read the contents, he just understood. Everything somehow clicked into place inside his head.
Senri, I'll be going for a while.
His cousin was trying to eliminate all the purebloods from the face of the planet. A sudden fear grabbed a hold of Senri where he stood, and he felt chill, and the Russian winter had nothing to do about it. If…if Kaname was trying to eradicate all of the purebloods…where would he – Kaname - end up?
The answer was so simple Senri did not want to wrap his mind around it.
Death.
Crumpling the letter in his hand, Senri turned heel, his steps quickened.
I can't just stand by and watch.
He somehow ended up with Hanabusa, who had been discarded by the Hunter Association when Seiren had informed them Hanabusa had nothing to do with the conflict between the purebloods. They met by a train station – Senri had just gotten down and Hanabusa, all yelling profanities, had just been let down of a hunter wagon. Despite preferring another travelling companion, Senri had no choice and trailed after the ice manipulator. Maybe he could be of some use to Hanabusa – he could probably keep Hanabusa's head on his shoulders a while longer.
They sat together in a train compartment, and after some silence, Hanabusa told him another piece of news that the papers hadn't reported.
He killed my father.
Senri looked at Hanabusa's form sitting across him, arms crossed and looking out the window, a heavy frown furrowing the blonde's brows. There were no appropriate words that came to Senri. Sorry was too shallow. Why was too impertinent. So he just ended up silent and looked at his hands.
I want to find him and pull out answers, Hanabusa continued. There has to be a reason. There has to be. I don't want a reason to stop believing him.
But somehow it's impossible, isn't it, Senri heard himself say. We don't even really…know him…at all.
Senri too, needed a reason.
He needed a reason not to stop loving his cousin.
By the time he and Hanabusa had rounded by the street corner, the worst was over. Kaien Cross stood over the boy that was the head of the Touma family. The kid was lying on the street, gasping, and a nasty gaping gash on him that was pooling blood. Senri did not need to look closer to see that the hunter weapon that inflicted the blow reached the kid's heart. For all of his pureblood healing gone, the kid only had seconds to live.
He turned heel and walked away, leaving Hanabusa to do as he wished. He walked until the next street corner, unsure. And then he broke into a dash toward whatever it was. Out of the corner of his vision Senri saw a familiar bat flit by, and he changed direction and followed it, running, toward the deserted end of the town, where the bat merged into a familiar, extended hand.
Clutching his side, Senri straightened himself up. And they looked at each other for a while, in silence. Always in silence.
You haven't logged in, said Senri.
I don't really have access to anything, Kaname replied.
Senri wished there was something better to say. Anything at all.
Why are you doing all this? Seemed like a good one to start with. But he couldn't get the words out. There were a lot of things…
I want to go with you, Kaname. The words came, and he didn't think about it at all.
Kaname looked at him for some time, and the pureblood tilted his head with a faint smile, and he turned heel and vanished into the gloom. Senri hesitated, his side still aching.
I want to just…
He took the first step, and the other steps followed easily.
I will follow.