Title: It's a (new) Winchesters life
Author: skiing_pelican
Artist: rayneshine
Fandom/Genre: Supernatural/post season 5 AU/humor, family, domestic, drama, baby!fic,
Pairing(s): Dean/Cas, Sam/Gabriel
Rating: NC13
Word Count: ~43 000
Warnings: turned-into-a-girl-Dean, Girl!Dean/Cas; Sam/Gabriel; (little bit) Angst; explicit het and slash (both Dean/Cas); violence; established relationship, language; fluff, fluff and more fluff
Beta: oomnydevvotchka
Summary:
We all know Dean really wants to have a family. When Gabriel finds out, he gives him the possibility to have one. While Dean deals with the weirdness of her crazy situation, her girly body, her absolutely not-girlieness, tremendous amount of girly sex, later a huge potbelly and an annoying teasing brother, Dean has to put up with Gabriel's trickster demeanor too.
And if that wasn't enough, heaven has plans with Dean. Again.
Set approx. two years after a slightly AU finale of season 5 where Michael surprisingly decided to side with the Winchesters. AU from there on. Anna was revived. Dean/Cas established relationship with explicit scenes, Sam/Gabriel side pairing. Featuring lots of other Supernatural characters. Mostly fluffety fluff, schmoop and dripping sappyness, but with some seriously angsty bits in the later half. Baby!fic, no M!Preg.
Author's notes:
This story is written for the DeanCastiel BigBang on Livejournal. To see the Masterpost with link to the art, please visit skiing-pelican dot livejournal dot com and search for the tag "fic: it's a new winchester's life" on the left side of the page.
I will cut this story to comply with FF's rules and edit out mature (sexual) content. This could take a few days - you can find a finished, uncut version if you follow the link posted above. Thanks!
This fic is pure self-indulgence. I wanted a happy alternative to season six. I wanted to develop a verse that organically follows season 5, with an unique plot. I wanted to write a believable fem!Dean who is really still the Dean we know. I wanted to give them the chance to be happy and have a family without m!preg and without a totally ooc fem!Dean or fem!Cas. I wanted to give them time to develop, heal, and outgrow their issues. I wanted to incorporate all what I love about Destiel and Supernatural. Actually, this fic is only a snippet of all that I have planned – I grew fond of this verse, and it's probably not the last fic, as it only scratches the big main plot I have in mind. I hope I pull off all that I mentioned before, so please tell me what you think! Only with feedback I'm able to develop as writer ;)
I know reading Dean about Dean as "she" might set off some readers. Believe me, it was weird for me too at first. But I have my reasons for it, so please don't turn the fic down because of it, give it a chance. As my beta pointedly said, it's probably not supposed to feel comfortable.
And last but not least, huge thanks to my beta and my wonderful Artist! Also, a big thank you to the DC BigBang community for hosting this challenge! I'm exited to be a part of it and can't wait to read all the fic and look at all the art! THANK YOU!
When the world goes down, you look into her eyes and see what wouldn't be possible,
then you will understand about change.
Change is our fate.
Michael, Stull Cemetery, 2010
Dean relaxed on the hood of the Impala in Bobby's junkyard, thoughtfully looking up at the stars. He sipped on a beer, and although the night was calm and peaceful, his face was worried. The only disturbance was the shift in the air when Castiel appeared next to him.
"Is everything alright?" the angel asked.
Dean took another sip from his beer, still looking up at the stars. "Yeah. I was just thinking... With Michael sobering up and the apocalypse averted... With you and Gabe here, Bobby pushing us to find our own house... it seems like it's all over now."
Castiel sat down next to him silently.
"I can't believe it, though."
Castiel searched Dean's eyes. In Dean's short life, he had never had a break. He had never known peace like Castiel had.
"Good things do happen, Dean." Castiel stated solemnly.
Dean turned to glance at Cas. He still couldn't believe it, even if the proof was right in front of his nose. Yes, good things could happen, like Cas happened to him. But he still couldn't believe it was over. The other shoe would always drop. It was just a matter of time.
"Do you wish to settle down?" Castiel asked.
"I don't think I ever can." Dean answered, taking another sip from his beer. "There are still enough sons of bitches out there."
"But do you wish to, Dean?"
Dean thought for a moment. "Settling down... into an apple-pie life in an apple-pie house, like Ben and Lisa's. I don't know."
He sighed deeply. Something seemed to be wrong about it.
Castiel folded his hands. "I know you wish to have a family, Dean. I am sorry my vessel cannot provide you with one."
Dean stared at Cas in surprise. "I didn't even think about that!"
"My apologies if I assumed wrong."
"No, you didn't!" Dean suddenly admitted and grabbed Cas arm. His mouth went on auto-pilot, words falling out that he never intended to say out loud.
"It's just, I never thought about that. But a family with you would be pretty awesome..."
Cas smiled at him. Dean let go of Cas' arm. He didn't know what had made him say that. It was the truth, but thinking about it hurt in his chest. A family... that's what he really dreamed of. That's what would be missing in the apple-pie life in the apple-pie house. He wanted a family with Cas, but that simply wasn't possible. First, Cas was a man. Or at least, his vessel was a man. And second, he was an angel. He didn't even know if angels could have babies, let alone if it really would be Cas' baby and not Jimmy's. And on top of it all, he wouldn't want a baby to suffer in the insanity that was his life. Damn this chick-flick-moment that brought up unknown wishes.
"Fuck." he muttered and slipped from the car. He needed harder stuff to drown these thoughts. He couldn't have it anyway.
"Dean?" Cas asked, worried, but the hunter stomped to the house, ignoring him.
Dean sat down in Bobby's study and grabbed a bottle of liquor. Cas followed him, but stopped at the door frame. He didn't understand what happened to make Dean angry.
"Dean, did I do something wrong?" Cas asked. He tilted his head to the side in concern, an insecure frown wrinkling his forehead.
Dean set the liquor down after pouring himself a shot. He smiled up at Cas, but the smile didn't reach his eyes. "No Cas, everything's all right," he said and downed the shot. "You should probably go and find out what Sam or Bobby are doing."
Cas said nothing, only fixed Dean with one of his stares. Gabriel appeared next to him and poked him in the ribs. Cas didn't flinch in the slightest.
"Stop doing that, Gabriel." he scolded with his ever deep voice, not even looking at Gabriel. Gabriel just smirked at him, crossed his arms and looked at Dean.
"So... what's this about, huh?" he asked. "Let me guess, Dean is a stubborn mule and won't tell you what's bugging him."
"He won't." Cas said, "We were in the junkyard, speaking about..."
"That is none of your business, Gabe!" Dean interrupted, growling angrily at the archangel. "Why do you keep talking to him anyway?" he complained at Cas.
Castiel frowned, even more concerned. Gabriel rolled his eyes.
"Cassie is my favorite baby brother, genius! I know he acts like he doesn't know a single being in creation, but damn, we shared things ages before you and Sam were born. Literally!"
Dean still glowered at Gabe and downed another shot.
"So, what were you talking about, Cassie?" Gabe asked again. He still had his arms crossed, pretending he didn't really care, as always, but Cas knew Gabe was there for him.
"I was apologizing that my vessel cannot provide a family." Cas said quietly. Thanks to his deep voice, the words carried enough to reached Dean. Dean downed another shot, angrily slamming the glass on the table, jaw set in frustration.
"That so?" Gabriel asked with his trademark smirk. He clicked his fingers. "Well... I shouldn't mess with you, since your vessel is connected with your grace and everything, but if Dean wants a family..."
Castiel slowly turned his head to face Dean. Dean was staring back at them, the glass in her hand half way frozen on the way to her lips.
"Dean?" Castiel asked with a tilt of his head as he went over to Dean.
"Oh, my, you all don't need to thank me so much!" Gabriel exclaimed, his grin spanning from one ear to the other. "Well, I'll leave you two to it. You've got a baby to make, after all!"
"What's that talkin' 'bout a baby?" a grumpy voice sounded from the kitchen.
"Huh?" Sam's voice could also be heard. A moment later, the other two hunters stood in the door frame, next to a smirking Gabriel and stared. Sam rubbed his eyes and opened them again, only to find that the sight hadn't changed.
Dean was still sitting at Bobby's desk, the glass in her hand forgotten, staring at Cas because she was too afraid to look at herself.
"Now look what we have here." Bobby commented. "Ain't there anythin' tha' angel of yours can't do, Sam?"
"Is that really Dean?" Sam asked slowly. "I mean, he...she sure looks like him, but..."
Gabriel rolled his eyes. "He's still your brother- oh, sorry, I mean she is still your sister, you should be able to recognize her!" He took another look at Dean before he added with a suggestive wiggle of eyebrows "A hot sister!"
"Dude, that's my brother you're talking about!" Sam complained, bitch-facing Gabriel.
Dean finally had the strength to look down. Boobs! She slowly raised her hands and grabbed her own boobs incredulously. Her expression varied from confused to horrified to amazed and back. Slowly, the wheels in her head turned, trying to grasp what happened.
"Sam, I have boobs!" she suddenly blurted out with a maniacal look on her face. Then she noticed the sound of her voice. Her throat was suddenly dry. Terrified, Dean didn't dare to speak again.
"Oh my god..." Sam muttered frowning, but smiled.
Bobby rubbed his forehead in exasperation. "Well Dean, you're a girl now, that's what comes with the package. You ain't got a dick anymore..."
"I guess?" he added, looking at Gabriel for reassurance.
Gabriel made a playful huffy face. "Hey, when I screw with people I do it right!"
Dean's eyes went wide as moons as she stared down at her pants. She was slowly, but surely freaking out. Her jeans were too big now, hanging down loosely from her legs. Dean reached down with one hand and found something was missing. A horrified expression took over her face.
"Dean." Castiel tried to regain her attention.
Gabriel sensed what his brother was up to and pushed the others out of the room. "I think Cassie and Deanna have some talking to do."
"So, that idjit really wants to be a mom?" Bobby asked in the hallway after the door closed behind them. Sam mirrored his puzzled expression.
"I don't know." Gabriel shrugged. "I kinda tossed them into the cold water with this. But that's the best chance they get for having a family, right?"
Sam's eyes got all feely. "That could be the best thing you've ever done for us, Gabe!"
"Oh boy." Bobby muttered and hurried out of ear range before the boy could embarrass himself even more.
"Oh, no biggie." Gabe said, dismissing it with a wave of his hand. Sam gathered him and pulled him up to a kiss, and with a snap of fingers, they were in their upstairs room.
"Dean, this could be your chance for a family." Cas said softly, patiently searching Dean's eyes. "Our chance for a family."
"Right... It's just... weird. Even by our standards." Dean's hands were on her boobs again. She still couldn't believe they were there. This was all so screwed.
"Cas, I don't know... I... I have to think about it... I don't know what to think about it, I don't know if I could even pull it off."
Dean hesitated. The sound of her voice was familiar. It still had that rough edge, but it was much higher than she was used to. It sounded a little like the abused voice of a jazz singer who smoked too much. It also reminded her faintly of the voice she used to have as a boy.
Castiel took her hand and dropped down to his knees in front of her to be closer. "Take your time, Dean. However you decide, I will respect your decision and help you in any way possible."
Dean looked down at her angel.
"You've never said if you want a family." she probed hesitantly.
Castiel smiled. "I do want it, Dean, very much. I have rebelled and I have fallen for you." His voice dropped even deeper as he continued. "And I have always marveled at the gift my father granted your kind. The gift to create life. I never even dared to dream I would get this chance."
Castiel's words went straight to Dean's heart. She fought back the tears that were forming in her eyes. So many emotions were swirling in her head, making her stomach knot, tearing her apart on the inside. But she was still unable to admit or express the depth of what she was feeling for Cas. With all that burning inside her, barely held together, she only looked down at Cas, staring into his eyes for a ridiculous amout of time.
"Cas..." Dean finally managed, her voice almost breaking. "Would it even be yours? This isn't your real body, after all."
"It will." Cas answered solemnly. "The body will be created of Jimmy's DNA, but what matters is the soul. Jimmy's soul has long left this body. The child's soul will be a product of my grace and your soul."
"How can you be so sure?" Dean asked.
"I can't." Cas answered hesitantly. "There are rumors that there were Nephilim before, but we don't know for sure."
Dean frowned, considering this information. The situation, fuck, her whole life was fucked up enough as it was. And who knew what kind of baby they would have, if not even Cas could tell?
"Gabriel will help us should any problems arise." Castiel added.
Dean sighed. "Cas I..."
"Dean. You should rest. This is a serious decision; you should take your time to consider it. I will respect whatever decision you make."
"Okay." Dean smiled. She leaned down to kiss her angel. He was so perfect and understanding right now. The love she felt for him seemed ridiculous to her and she felt like a teenager with her first crush. With the only difference being that this was much deeper. But she didn't say a word about it.
"Hey," she suddenly blurted "do you still like me?"
"I don't understand." Castiel tilted his head confused.
"Oh well, I was a dude before, now I'm a girl. Doesn't that weird you out? Do you even like girls?"
Castiel smiled. "You are still attractive. Gender has no real meaning to me."
"It weirds me out for sure."
The theoretical talk about angel babies and Cas' pure sweetness had taken Dean's thoughts off the fact that she was a girl for the time being. She had not yet dared to think about what would be necessary to make a baby. Only thinking about it made her freak out. She jumped when Cas laid a hand on her thigh, close to the spot where something that should be there was not there. Dean already missed her dick incredibly.
'I can't fuck him anymore!' suddenly occurred to her. She stared down at her boyfriend, eyes widened in terror. The wheels in her brain turned on mercilessly, delivering the next terrifying fact. She had a vagina.
Dean Winchester, manliest man on the whole planet, had his dick replaced with a vagina.
"I hate Gabriel!" Dean bolted, jumped up and rushed up to the bathroom adjoining her and Cas' room. Even moving with this body felt different - she almost tripped over the stairs. Cas followed, surprised by her sudden mood swing.
Dean locked the door behind her and stripped completely. She stared at her form in the bathroom mirror. She didn't recognize it as her body at all. It was all wrong, and weird, and there were no words to describe how uncomfortable she felt in it.
Awkwardly, she touched the unfamiliar curves of her body with the slender tips of her fingers. The skin was smooth, almost hairless and deliciously soft. The most curious thing was that all her freckles were in exactly the right spots on the wrong body. Somehow, feeling the touches on her skin helped her grasp that this was now her body. But it still felt wrong. Her fingers trailed down, stroking the smooth skin lightly where her happy trail had been, and further down... Her breath hitched and her body shuddered as she touched a sensitive spot. It felt so wrong. It felt so awkward, wrong but good at the same time. A weird pull spread through the lower part of her body, a strange sensation she couldn't quite place. Her brain swirled. This was too much for her. She retrieved her fingers in shock, and stared at her flushed face in the mirror. She didn't recognize it as her face. The same mossy green eyes stared back at her through thick lashes, but from a face that belonged to someone else. She felt like she was looking at a stranger instead of a reflection. She pulled back, grabbed her boxers and T-shirt and rushed to slip them on.
As she finally went out of the bathroom, Cas was standing there, waiting for her.
"Let's just hit the hay." Dean suggested and rushed to the bed. She didn't want to think about this mess anymore.
Castiel lay down next to her and spooned up, wrapping an arm around her slim waist and placing a soft kiss on her neck. His touch was comforting, but Dean couldn't really calm down. Dean tried to ignore how Cas' arm draped around her waist felt so different. She was even tempted to remove his arm, something she would normally never do, but she knew the weird feeling wouldn't disappear. Exhausted by the long day, Dean slipped into sleep much faster that she had expected.