It was a typical saturday night at the Gundam Wing Mansion, and everybody was crowding into the community Gundam 34-XI Mach-WingDeathFork to go to Burger King. This was a very special saturday night, because it only came once a month. Usually they were busy, but mostly it was just because going on raised stress levels quite a bit. Relena was the last to get into the Gundam, struggling to stay on the ramp. Everybody was crammed into the cockpit, so Relena had to sit in storage. "OKay, let's go lol," said Duo, as he pushed the gas peddle.

The local Burger King was only a few miles up the road, but it only took but a few seconds in the Gundam 34-XI Mach-WingDeathFork. They arrived in the parking lot and first opened the door to the storage room, allowing Relena to roll out first so that everyone else could follow. Grabbing Relena, the group of dashing young men and that Relena chick casually strolled into the restaurant.

At the counter, Zechs looked up as he heard the door bells jingle. He inhaled sharply and clutched the counter like a little teenage girl as he saw who was walking through his establishment. All else seemed to melt away as his mancrush Heero Yuy stepped forth in that god-like way he always does. His lip trembled, and his heart skipped a beat as he saw the shiny, tight spandex curving around firm, toned thighs. He just barely managed to catch himself drooling. He quickly adjusted his hat, tipping it in a dapper manner just slightly off his head so as to impress his man. He tied his apron strings tighter, and unbuttoned the only three buttons on his uniform, in order to expose that vital inch of skin. Quickly he checked his face in the napkin holder, slicking back his eyebrows and picking his teeth. The group arrived to the counter in a matter of seconds.

Duo was already annoyed; they had just barely entered the eating establishment and already Relena was tugging at his sleeve and making strange mumbling sounds. This was what is was like everytime they went out, Duo always got stuck dealing with the girl and he was sick of it - but he didn't say a word about it, not wanting to hurt Relena's fragile feelings. He was a caring kind of guy and always offered to take care of her, only because no one else did and she looked so lonely. Sometimes the young pilot wondered what was going through her head; sometimes she looked so contemplative. Duo gave her a quick smile as he hoisted the diaper bag up on his shoulder. "Friiiiesssss uhhhgggh," gurgled Relena.

Heero was the first to place his order, just a simple burger...for a simple man. He was much like the burgers he loved, so normal looking on the outside, but so complex inside. The green pickles reminiscent of his green tanktop, the charred grill marks like the bikerpants adorning his legs. That soft fluffy bun, like the doughy cheeks on either part of his body. "I just want a burger." His words fell like sweet candies onto the ears of Zechs, who batted his lashes at the young man.

"Would you like...fries...with that?" He inched forward over the register a little bit, enticingly. "No, that's okay," came the response. Ohhhhhh. Zechs revelled in his masculinity. Real men say no. He would throw in a fry order anyways. He typed in the order and slowly dragged his finger from his lips down his chest.

The next boy to step forward was Trowa, ready to place his order. "I'll have a 48-piece chicken nugget bucket, and a side salad." He said smoothly, running his fingers through the front of his hair. Trowa was a sucker for chicken nuggets. So crispy and dainty, like his own gentle fingers. "Oh, and a diet orange soda." Orange; a whimsical color, much like Trowa's own whimsical clown mask.

"Any sauce?" Zechs asked flatly, eyes still on Heero. "No," Trowa responded. "Today I'm going commando."

Quatre stared up at the young man admiringly, his eyes gleaming as he breathed in Trowa's smell. "I'll...I'll have what he's having..." Quatre murmured softly, as his cheeks flushed a deep red and tears built up in his eyes. Trowa was so cool, so daring, so unique. He wasn't like the others. Only Trowa dared to sport such a sexy hair style, and take on all those nuggets at once.

Wufei crouching tiger hidden dragoned up to the counter and observed the menu. He couldn't understand all these foreign symbols, what did they mean? He adjusted his straw hat in a slightly embarassed way, and just kind of guessed what the pictures were. Taking a hint from Heero, he made his order. "Sweet and sour burger prease," he clucked out. He bowed to Zechs, honoring the man who would serve him his food.

"...We don't have those." Zechs said in a kind of freaked out, kind of unsure manner. Wufei looked at him blankly, what did he mean? "Sweet and sour burger prease," he repeated. When no response came, he tried another. "soy fries??" No response. He tried to pantomime his words now, making a burger shape in the air. "SWEET AND SOUR BURRRGERRR PREEAAASSEEEE." Zechs looked down at the options on his register. Burger, no. CHeeseburger, no. Catsup, no. He didn't know what to do. He looked up at the poor chinese bloke in front of him and tried to break the news. "DO NOT MAKE." Wufei was suddenly angry, America was so strange. Planet China had honorable people, America had bad, bad people. After arguing for five minutes, Zechs just ordered him a burger.

"I give you chicken, you give me burger," he offered, trying to barter the prices down. Zechs took the chicken, but kept the prices the same, he'd never know. "May you have many bressings from za many fortune gods," nodded Wufei.

Zechs shook his head, what a pathetic group these six were - except for Heero-sama of course. Heero deserved so much better. He deserved gold, and diamonds, and--

"Burrrgggerrrrrrrr," Relena groaned, snapping Zechs out of his daydream.

"Oh...yes. And for the young lady?" He asked, smiling half-heartedly and looking down over the counter in order to see the girl.

"Burrrrrggggerrrrr," came the order again. "Burrr..."

"...Okay, you'd like a burger." Zechs bit his lip, trying to keep his cool. He had to keep himself straight in front of Heero, he just had to impress him and show him what a model employee he was. He wouldn't fail. "Anything else, my lady?"

"Uhhrr...fr...frrriiiii...freeees." Her head bobbed up and down as she tried to get out the words. "nuuuugert...nuggettttttt..."

"...just a burger, then." Annoyed, Zech pressed the button for burger on the touch screen and looked up at the last customer.

Duo was so, so proud of Relena. She ordered all on her own! Laughing happily, he pushed her wheelchair out of the way so he could approach the register. "I'll have the chicken fries, and a large milkshake please." As Zechs was typing it in, Duo interrupted. "No, no, wait. Wait...okay. No. Um...Whopper, and a small sprite." As the order was being punched in again, he had to stop him. "NO NO. No, sorry. Geez. Um. Okay yeah. No. Yeah, I'll just have the Big Kid's chicken fry meal." Zechs didn't type it in immediately, but figuring he was set after 5 minutes, finally felt safe enough to press the screen.

"Your orders will be ready shortly."

The group took the receipt and wandered over to the seating area to find a table. Duo pushed Relena up to the table and looked around, trying to find a high chair. Relena clapped cheerfully as Duo pulled a highchair up to the table, and looked around at the others.

"Okay, who wants to help me get Relena all set up?" Duo asked, setting his hand on his hip. He had to be stern or else no one would help. They went through this every time they went out...

Everyone looked around awkwardly, trying to avoid the question completely. Nobody wanted to touch Relena, especially before eating. It was such a chore, and the girl was just so heavy, god.

"I...um. Uh. Have to get the napkins," Heero said, standing up out of his chair and wandering away before Duo could get another word out.

Trowa was the next to make an excuse. "And I have...to...get. Ketchup. Yeah." He stood up quickly, and naturally, Quatre followed.

"I have to wash feet you know," Wufei stated seriously. "Very special Chinese secret before eat." He nodded sagely.

Duo sighed and looked over at the young girl in the wheelcheer, who was flailing about without a care in the world. After seeing her so happy like that, he couldn't be angry. Just knowing that helping her out would make her world a better place was good enough for Duo, so he decided to get her into the highchair on his own.

After a bit of struggling, Duo got the girl all situated into the chair. Wiping the drool off his shoulder, he chuckled a bit as she squealed happily. SUddenly, Relena started rocking in the highchair, and it began to tip precariously. Looking onto the floor, he saw a stray fry from someone's order had fallen near Relena's chair.

"Friiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssss ehrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr," she wailed, straining her arm to reach it. Duo slapped her hand away scoldingly.

"No, Relena! No! That has germs!" He got out the hand sanitizer and set it on the table, just in case. Relena went quiet for a second, her pupils dilating. Duo looked over, realizing his mistake. SUddenly, a blood curdling scream ripped through the air, Relena's face contorting and tears streaming down her red face. She began to jerk about in the highchair violently, drool flying from her mouth, and the chair crashed to the ground. Duo rushed to her side, trying to calm the frantic girl to no use. She writhed awkwardly, unable to free the lower half of her body strapped to the chair, and clawed the carpet trying to reach the fry. Desperately, he caught her in a headlock, restraining her flailing body.

"RELENA, CALM DOWN. WHY ARE YOU SO MESSED UP, YOU RETARDED BITCH." He was losing his cool, the stress was getting overwhelming. "WHY DID YOU HAVE TO HAVE THAT GODDAMN STROKE." In his rage, he remembered a time where sh ewas slightly less retarded. Still retarded, but not as much. And then came that horrible day when her rocketship spiraled out of control in entering Earth's atmosphere, and the pressure and heat combined were slowly killing her. But by some holy miracle, the paramedics were just barely able to revive her with some penicillin. However, she suffered a horrible stroke, the one side of her face permanently slackjawed and unfeeling, and her brain severely melted in areas. Those were the days of our lives, he thought bitterly.

In the midst of their struggle, the rest of the team came back and watched on uncomfortably. They just went to sit down until it was over. However, as Trowa walked by, he stepped on the fry Relena so wanted. Seeing this was an emotional overload for the girl, and she went limp. Duo was able to fix the chair upright, and noted the dead look in her eyes. Trying to bring her back to normal, he started tapping her head to move what remained of her brain back into position. She was soon smiling as gleefully as ever.

And then Zechs called them up to get their orders.

Wanting to get away from the chaos, Heero quickly volunteered to go up to get their tray of food. He raced up to the front and took the tray from Zechs, and as he leaned in to grab it, his hand brushed up against Zech's finger.

It was like a dream. A lovely tingling sensation ran from Zech's finger and up his arm, and went straight to his heart. Heero's hand had just touched his. Oh, how he had longed for his day for years, and finally, it happened! It was better than he ever dreamed it could be, and he decided promptly that he would never wash that hand again. Zechs clutched the heand to his chest, moaning softly as Heero looked over his shoulder and gave the man a funny look. Relena was totally normal compared to this guy, he thought as he carried the tray of food back over to the table.

Back at the table, things had calmed down considerably, and Relena wasn't wailing at the top of her lungs anymore. Heero set down the tray and everyone lunged for their food (since this was a special occasion). Heero took his own bag and looked in, seeing his burger buried under 12 orders of fries that he didn't even order. He ignnored it; he would just have to give those fries to Relena.

Heero took out his burger and unwrapped it, and then grabbed it and brought it up to his mouth to take a bite. Before he could sink his teeth into his lunch, he looked down at the wrapper the burger had come in and saw writing scribbled across the inside of it. The sharpie-written note, dripping from the grease of the burger read:

"Fuzzy nuttoms,

Even a crystal clear lake on a bright and sunny day cannot compare to the 9-volt shock I get when you stick your AC-Adapter into my Gameboy Advance.

Love,

Me."

The young man looked around nervously, creeped out to say the least. Whether or not the note was meant for him, it was still a slightly disturbing confession and he wanted no part of it.

Somewhere behind the counter, Zechs shivered with glee.

While Trowa sat steadfastedly eating his nuggets one by one, Quatre saw how uneasy Heero was. He too looked down at the burger wrapping, and read the loving, poetic words. He choked a bit on his chicken nugget, so deeply moved. He was so jealous of the person able to admit their feelings so beautifully and freely. Feeling tears burning his eyes, and his cheeks reddening, he wished he could do the same. Simply eating the same meal as Trowa was not enough for him anymore. Overwhelmed by these sensations, he took the burger wrapper and stuffed it into his breast pocket stealthily (actually, everyone noticed, but they were too skeeved out to say anything). "I...I'm going to the little boy's room," he mumbled, and dashed off to cry in a bathroom stall.

As Relena squawked happily at the mountain of fries that had been bestowed upon her, Duo ate in silence and Wufei unwrapped his burger. He took out the sandwich and looked down at it quizzically. "Ohhhh," he thought. "Sweet and Sour taste must be baked into burger. Amelicans so crever!" Wufei smiled, impressed at how far American technology had come along and happily ate his meal.

"Lerena, you want bite?" He asked with a mouthful of food, holding up his sweet and sour burger.

"Burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..." She groaned, fries hanging out of her mouth limply, others smashed in her hand. The other hand hit the table repeatedly, and eventually her flailing hand hit hard onto a packet of ketchup and it squirted all over the table.

Duo scooted back in his seat before the condiment could reach him. "RELENA!!" He yelled, frustrated.

"ARrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhh Ketcccccccccccccccccchhhuuuuuuuuuuuuup,"Relena smeared her hand through the ketchup, painting the table red. "UUUUUUUUUUUUUUHFFFFFFFFFFFF"

Suddenly, flames burst out of the kitchen and consumed the frying area, a disastrous grease fire breaking out! Zechs scrambled over the counter, dashing to save his love. "HEERO," he screamed over the roaring fire, "COME TO MY BREAST, I'LL PROTECT YOU!!" But they had already evacuated the area and drove away in their Gundam, the only thing remaining of the group being a trail of fries and ketchup. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO," he wailed, falling to his knees, his silver hair blowing from the force of the fire.

The building was consumed by fire entirely in a matter of seconds.