"Pure-blood ladies of Ancient and Noble Houses comport themselves with decorum at all times. They amble. They stroll. They do not run."
—-Druella Rosier Black
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Andromeda Black forced herself to walk at a moderate pace. Once the library doors closed behind her, she raced down the corridor and bolted up the staircase to the fifth floor. She had a stitch in her side and panted for breath by the time she reached the Prefects' Bathroom. Ladylike comportment equalled low physical fitness. She pressed one hand against her aching side and grabbed the door handle. It wouldn't turn. Why had she expected it to be unlocked simply because a Hufflepuff was inside? The Sticking Charm she'd cast on Malfoy's chair wouldn't last. She had to do something. Use any means to achieve her ends.
Any means . . . .
She cast a Sonorous Charm and pounded on the door. "Open up for inspection!" Her racing heartbeat drummed in her ears, marking each second that passed. It took all the willpower she had not to kick the door. C'mon, Tonks, get your arse over here.
Finally, the door opened. Ted Tonks, captain of the Hufflepuff Quidditch team, clutched the ends of the belt on his white towelling robe. His sandy blond hair was wet and slicked back to keep his long fringe out of the blue eyes currently staring at her. She strode forward and braced her hands against his wide, firm chest. "Let me in before I report you to your Head of House." Andromeda had never abused her position of Head Girl before. She ignored the twinge of guilt and pushed.
He backpedalled. She immediately stepped inside, shut the door, and locked it. She was safe. Thank Merlin!
"W—what's this about?"
She spun on her heel. He was standing so close; her nose bumped into the skin at the V of his robe. Stars, he was warm. She arched an eyebrow. "Did you not hear me, Tonks? Were you underwater?"
"Call me Ted."
Gods, his voice was sexy. She went to move past him. "I'm here to inspect."
He blocked her way. "Inspect what?"
Hufflepuffs had no concept of personal space. Her skin prickled with self-consciousness. Why had she left her hair down instead of re-braiding it after her shower? All she'd wanted was a couple of relaxing hours in the library before it closed. Now, when she needed to intimidate, she was a dishevelled mess. She squared her shoulders and took a calming breath. Her eyes narrowed. She inhaled again. "You don't smell like soap, Ted."
"Beg pardon?"
Andromeda rose up on tiptoes to sniff his hair. "I don't smell shampoo, either. And yet you're sopping wet." She shouldered her way past him.
Two strides later, his fingers closed around her wrist. "I was swimming." Ted loosened the belt of his towelling robe with his other hand, revealing a shocking amount of muscular body along with form-fitting black swim trunks.
"Alone?" She experienced a strange light-headedness; all the blood in her brain seemed to have rushed to her face. Her cheekbones burned.
Ted's face was flushed too. "Yes."
His thumb stroked the inside of her wrist. She said, "Mary Sullivan claims you two do more than swim in here every night." The Hufflepuff seventh-year had bragged to her mates about it in the girls' lavatory that very morning. By the time Andromeda had thrown open the door of her stall, Sullivan and her giggling mates had left. They'd eyed her and whispered to each other in Herbology an hour later, proving that the witches had deliberately spoken so she'd overhear but not be able to call them on it. "Is it true?" she asked. "Are you shagging her?"
"What?"
An imperious knock sounded.
"Playtime's over, Andromeda. Open the door."
Bloody hell. How had Malfoy found her? The memory of painted eyes avidly watching Andromeda run answered her question. Damn those interfering portraits. She whispered, "I'm not playing with Malfoy. I'm avoiding him." Her eyes flickered over Ted. "Answer the door. You won't have to lie. Just seeing you will make him back off." She bit her lower lip. One of Cissy's tricks. "Please."
"All right."
She smiled in relief. "I'll cast a Disillusionment Charm and go stand by the pool." Right after I cast a Human-presence Revealing Spell to make sure that bitch Mary Sullivan isn't hiding somewhere first. She would've loved to have seen the smirk die on Lucius Malfoy's face, but she didn't trust the git not to cast a counter spell, and if he saw her standing behind Ted. She shuddered.
Malfoy, who was a year older than Narcissa and a year younger than Andromeda, had never paid much attention to either sister before the school term began four months ago. On the King's Cross platform, he'd noticed Andromeda's Head Girl badge and Cissy's newly swanlike beauty. He'd decided that the older Black sister would make a good ally, and the younger sister would match his icy good looks as his girlfriend. Since Cissy was over the moon with their new status, Andromeda had been willing to be polite.
That changed the day Malfoy saw her pick up a scroll that had dropped out of Ted Tonks' schoolbag.
Malfoy grasped her arm to keep her from following her housemates into the Slytherin Common Room after dinner. His pale features looked ghostly in the dim corridor. "I hope you used a Sanitising Charm after you touched that Mudblood."
He'd seen her return the scroll! "Being Muggle-born doesn't make one germy," she replied.
Malfoy curled his lip. "I say it does, and it's the kind of filth that can't be washed off." His eyes gleamed. "Is that what you like? Are you a dirty girl?" He backed her against the wall. "You don't have to go slumming. I'll give you what you need." He bared his teeth in a predatory smile. "Keep it in the family."
"Rictusempra!" Andromeda cried.
Malfoy burst into laughter, letting her go to double over, clutching his stomach.
She'd run—and kept running. Cissy wasn't blind. She'd noticed when her boyfriend started mocking her sister on a daily basis, not to mention all the times he'd contrived to touch his object of scorn. Instead of confronting Malfoy, she'd warned Andromeda to keep away from her boyfriend, refusing to hear a word against him. The last time the sisters spoke, Cissy had informed Andromeda that when they went home for Christmas break, only Cissy was attending the Parkinsons' Yule Ball.
"Pretend to be sick or get dragon pox for all I care. I won't have you ruining my night!"
"As if I'd want to go." Andromeda took off her school robes and sat at the end of the diving board at the deep end of the pool—even Hagrid couldn't call it a lowly tub—swinging her legs back and forth until Ted returned.
"Splashing ruins the Disillusionment Charm," he said.
She countered the spell. "I need to hang around for a bit. Malfoy will stalk the corridor to try to catch me leaving."
Ted gaped at her. "You're wearing a Hippogriffs concert t-shirt."
Andromeda glanced down at the black fabric. "It's as long as a minidress. Don't be a prude, Mr. Short Shorts. It's hot in here."
"I'm not a prude. The length is . . . fine . . . ." Ted stared at her legs until she kicked water in his direction. He blinked. "The Hippogriffs are a folk band. They sing about peace and love."
"So?"
"They're a Hufflepuff band."
Did he think she was prejudiced? She sneered. "And here I thought music was for all people."
His expression was pure dismay. "I didn't mean—"
"Of course not. You're Hufflepuff. You'd never judge anyone unfairly." Andromeda pushed to her feet. "If you're not going to swim laps, I'll have a go." She stripped off her t-shirt and jumped into the pool, hugging her knees to her chest and tucking in her chin to become a cannonball. When she surfaced, the sight of the water dripping down Ted's handsome face made her laugh.
He smiled wryly. "I deserved that."
"Yes, you did." Andromeda floated in the water, unable to dredge up the energy to swim laps with her anger spent. She closed her eyes and languidly moved her arms and legs to keep from sinking further into the tepid water. Her heart pounded when the water rippled around her. Ted had slipped into the pool.
"Is that how a Slytherin swims?"
Andromeda jerked in surprise. He'd spoken almost in her ear. She pretended that it didn't affect her in the slightest. "Haven't you seen water snakes?"
Ted chuckled. "Never saw one wear black lace knickers as a bikini."
Her eyes flew open. Lace had holes. What would her mother say? Andromeda could almost hear her shrieking. Have you gone mad, flaunting yourself like a scarlet woman? She switched to treading water. "Thanks for helping me avoid Malfoy."
Blue eyes searched hers. "He's going with your sister."
"And Cissy's obsessively determined to marry him." Andromeda's lips twisted. "Which means I can't turn him into an albino ferret and sell him to a pet shop."
"You can tell her he's harassing you."
"She knows." Merlin, Ted was innocent. Andromeda put on her mother's disdainful expression and said primly, "It is the lady's duty to control a gentleman's ardour, and her failing if he does not heed her wishes."
"That's rubbish."
Andromeda looked down her nose at Ted. "Pure-blood ladies are held to higher standards," she said loftily.
His brow creased. "Who talks like that?"
"My mother." She smiled wickedly at his shocked look. "My impression of her is spot on. Everyone in the family says so." She twisted her hair into a high bun. "Ask me if Druella Rosier Black celebrate Christmas."
"Does your mother . . . ." His voice trailed off when Andromeda's nostrils flared as if she'd smelled something utterly revolting.
"Christmas," Andromeda spat the word, "is for Muggles and the blood-traitors who adopt loathsome Muggle customs."
"What about a Christmas tree?" Ted asked. "That has pagan origins. It isn't a Muggle religious symbol."
Andromeda sniffed contemptuously. "Christians and pagans are equally Muggle." She let her voice rise and her eyes widen fanatically as she declared, "Each deserves the fate they will suffer when the Dark Lord rises to his ascendancy and the pure of blood rule all!" She slid down into the water and then bobbed up again. "I used to wonder if she'd read Lord of the Rings. She goes on like Galadriel." Andromeda held out her arms, intoning, "Instead of a Dark Lord you would have a queen . . . beautiful and terrible as the dawn!" She waited for Ted to, well, not applaud like her favourite cousin, Sirius, but say something.
He didn't speak a word.
She flicked water at him. "Maybe my voice isn't as good as yours, Teddy T, filling in for Magic Man Jocko Greene and taking you through the midnight hour." Andromeda stopped trying to imitate his mellow and knicker-melting radio voice. "But not everyone can be a secret Wizarding Wireless Network star."
Ted shook his head dazedly. "I thought no one knew about that. I've only filled in the last couple of holidays. I applied to be a newsreader, but they needed a guest host for the Midnight Hour."
She'd heard him practising in an empty classroom when she'd patrolled alone one night, but she wasn't about to admit it. "I'm an insomniac." She swam away from him.
He swam faster, and stood in front of her when she reached the shallow end. "I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. You could be an actress, you're that good. I was speechless." His lopsided smile was marvelling and self-deprecatingly sweet. "You're even more amazing than I'd thought you be."
Ted Tonks thought she was amazing? Goosebumps broke out on Andromeda's skin—because the upper half of her body was out of the water and evaporative cooling was taking effect, nothing else.
"Well, you're exactly the way I thought you'd be," she said. "It's not like you hide your personality, always smiling and laughing and chatting with everyone."
"Are you saying you hide your personality?"
She rolled her eyes. "I'm from the Ancient and Noble House of Black. They'd think I'd gone mad if I talked to my family the way I'm talking to you. And I never would've made Head Girl. Headmaster Dippet didn't choose me just because I'm a pure-blood Slytherin, and he was afraid unpleasantness would follow if he picked someone else." She remembered the rare note of approval in her mother's voice as she read the Headmaster's letter aloud at the breakfast table. "He chose me because, above all the other Prefects, I have the ability to behave myself."
"I'd rather you be yourself."
Oh, gods, he pitied her. "You're such a Hufflepuff."
Ted blocked her way when she tried to edge past him. "Tell me something," he said. "Why would a snob like Malfoy think a pure-blood Slytherin girl would hide in the Prefect's bathroom with a Muggle-born like me?"
"He's mental?" She exhaled heavily and then shrugged. "He's convinced I fancy you because I returned your scroll, and because he imagines we smile at each other when we pass in the corridors and look at each other when we're in the Great Hall."
"It isn't his imagination," Ted replied.
"Isn't it?"
"No." They gazed at each other for stomach-fluttering moments, and then Ted asked, "Do you?"
"Fancy you?" Andromeda lifted her chin. "Not if you're shagging Mary Bloody Sullivan!"
"I've never touched her."
Andromeda's lips curved.
"I dream about that smile." Ted's warm hand cupped her cheek. "If I kiss you, will you give me detention?"
She slid her palms up his chest. "Will you tell that when I'm with you, I don't want to behave myself?"
Ted shook his head and Andromeda sighed as his lips met hers.
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On the night of the Parkinsons' Yule Ball, Andromeda faked a stomach virus and stayed home while Cissy and their parents Flooed to the Parkinsons' manor. Once the house was quiet, Andromeda cast an Appearance Charm on bed pillows so it would look like she was sleeping. A quick change of clothing, a spell to change her cloak from black to red, and she was on her way.
The Squire Cab dropped her off in front of Ted's home. Andromeda stood on the kerb, wind tousling the hair she'd left long and free, entranced by the sight of a massive Christmas tree in the bay window. Muggle fairy lights were so bright, like twinkling stars. She wished she could've brought Sirius along. He would've loved the tree and pestered her to sing their personalised Christmas carol.
God rest ye, merry Hippogriffs, let nothing you dismay,
Druella and Walburga are passed out drunk today,
Leaving us the non-Christmas pud they wouldn't eat anyway,
Oh, tidings of pudding and snores
Pudding and snores,
Oh, tidings of pudding and snores
She heard a popping sound, and then Ted stood before her like a Christmas gift wrapped in a green jumper. "I can't have my girlfriend standing out in the snow like The Little Match Girl."
"I know that story," Andromeda said. "Muggle Studies suggested reading list." She frowned. "If she'd been a witch, the girl could've compelled people to buy her matches, or better yet, compelled her brutish father to sell matchsticks and die in the snow."
Ted smiled. "My parents read me the version where a kind family took the girl in and gave her good food and a soft bed." He pushed back the hood of Andromeda's cloak.
Her lips curved. "How Hufflepuff to use a fairy story as a chat up line." When Ted opened his mouth to reply, she put it to better use. "You left something out," she whispered between kisses. "In the happy ending story, The Little Match Girl was given warm clothes." Andromeda slid her hands over Ted's jumper. "I'll take this."
He groaned. "Mum and Dad won't let me get away with Apparating you to my bedroom and locking the door." Ted gave her a brief, promising kiss. "We have to have dinner first." He clasped her hand and led her up the steps to the door decorated with a wreath of evergreens.
"Am I dressed appropriately?" she asked, unfastening her cloak with her free hand.
Ted took in her attempt at Muggle attire: fluffy, red and white striped cropped jumper, white vinyl miniskirt, white tights, and red knee-high boots. His smile dazzled Andromeda more than any decorated tree ever could. "You're perfect," he said, and opened the door.
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A/N: This story is dedicated to Rose of the West for telling me she'd re-read my first Ted and Andromeda story Hey, You! I Don't Like Your Girlfriend! and that she was "dying to read or write a scene sometime in which Ted grabs Andromeda and lays a serious one on her with someone like Lucius Malfoy not 20 yards away up the path." The more I thought about it, the more working Lucius into a how Ted and Andromeda got together story inspired. There's no path, but Lucius is twenty yards away outside lurking in the corridor. In a writing version of the Ice Bucket Challenge, I challenge Rose of the West to write a one shot of Ted grabbing Andromeda and kissing her with Lucius Malfoy close by. ;)
Since I used an Avril Lavigne song title for the first story, I continued the Avril title tradition. Andromeda's characterization is a little different this time. I loved the thought that Tonks got her inability to behave herself from her mother, who chose not to "behave herself" with Ted. To anyone who remembers reading that Dippet spoke about "unpleasantness" to Tom Riddle, Ted was a newsreader and Ron infamously uttered the phrase "scarlet woman," yes, you're very smart. Now review. :D