I sat there watching him play, listening to the sweet music that he often played while he was thinking about a case. The swift, fast movements of his arm as he moves the bow across the violin. The straight posture he always had was as straight as ever and the ways in which the lights reflected from behind him as he turned and smiled at me made him look like an angel…
That was when I opened my eyes. There was no sweet music from his violin. No movements of his arm across the violin as he played. No more of his smiles that light up the room. No more of my angel Sherlock…
The sound of approaching footsteps bought me too, giving myself a mental shake I stand and face the direction the steps were coming from and look into the swollen red eyes of Mycroft Holmes. We were both finding it hard to cope after the fall, but it was only through Mrs Hudson putting us together that we began to let our walls down and cried together.
"It's been two years John, you need to start moving on. Getting your life back to how it was before you knew Sherlock" Mycroft crossed over the space in the room and sat down in Sherlock's chair, putting his umbrella beside him. "I know of a good therapist that can help, she'll take you through it step by step. Maybe you'll come to get married someday".
"I DON'T WANT TO MOVE ON MYCROFT! I...I just can't do it. Not yet. It's too soon." My gaze falls longingly at the space where he often stood to play and I could feel myself tearing up again. No. I wouldn't do this with Mycroft here. No more. "I still care about him deeply Mycroft. You, his brother of all people, should realise how hard this is for me. Everywhere I look I see Holmes. The cases. I'm reminded of it all, all of the fantastic times we had together."
Mycroft simply just lifts his gaze to mine, "Leave then".
"LEAVE? YOU SUGGEST I LEAVE BAKER STREET?!" I stand up so fast my chair goes flying back and slams into a set of draws. "I can't leave the one place that I….I can't leave Mrs Hudson Mycroft. This is my home. 221B is my home. Our home. 221b will forever be mine and Sherlock's home. Always."
"I'm sorry if I off-"
"Just leave Mycroft. I don't want you here. Go." As I hear his footsteps go down the stairs, I walk over to the window and rest my head on the window frame. The image of Sherlock surrounded by light filled my mind and I started silently crying while staring out of the window. "I miss you Sherlock".