Chapter One

It was a sunny October day, and Hitomi was sitting on a bench eating a sandwich, which was surprising.

Not that it was a sunny day, of course, for it was usually a sunny day in Mitakihara, which really pleased Hitomi. What was surprising was that Hitomi was eating a sandwich.

Hitomi didn't really like sandwiches, as she had always felt that they were a little dry, and hard to swallow. But, nevertheless, here she was, on a park bench, eating a sandwich.

Maybe she was eating a sandwich as a change of pace, or a breather. It was a simple breather, and maybe a little unorthodox, but Hitomi had her reasons for needing a stress reliever. She probably figured that she could distract herself from one pain with another.

It was about a week after Sayaka had died unexpectedly. Hitomi had remembered walking up to Madoka and asking her why she was crying. Madoka hadn't responded for a while, and Hitomi was starting to get that "third wheel" feeling that she had been getting more and more often lately.

But eventually through her sniffles, Madoka had looked at Hitomi and said, voice cracking, "She's dead. Sayaka... she's..."

Madoka hadn't finished that last sentence, bursting into tears once more, but Hitomi didn't need her to finish. Hitomi had sat down hard, not feeling the pain of the rock making hard contact with her rump. She had stared at the ground, eyes wide, denying it, it was just a joke, it must have been, any minute now Sayaka was going to pop out and surprise them.

But the time went by, and there was no Sayaka. Madoka was still crying. And slowly, but growing more and more, like a broken dam, Hitomi had started to cry too. And for a while they had just sat there and wept, wept for their friend too soon gone.

But Hitomi had remembered being confused too, for people do not simply just die. You do not walk into your house and have your family simply missing, as though they never existed, with only the tears of others to confirm their past existence. There must have been a cause, and Hitomi remembered asking Madoka about it in between crying fits.

But Madoka had not responded to Hitomi's anguish, and the question of "how" only seemed to make Madoka even more upset, to where it made Hitomi even more upset, until Hitomi pushed the question out of her mind for grief.

Hitomi had run to Kyosuke for comfort, to have him embrace her, take her away from her troubles. But he had been in the same shell-shocked state as Madoka, crying without end, only he had fewer answers than she did to what had happened, whereas Madoka seemed to have been hiding something.

Maybe they had a lover's quarrel and it got out of hand?

Oh no, I bet that's what happened! Madoka won't tell me because she doesn't want me to get jealous! But, wouldn't that mean-

No, no. Madoka wouldn't kill Sayaka; they're best friends.

So, then what?

Hitomi chewed hard, grinding her teeth together, trying to force herself not to think about the whole thing, and how sudden it had been.

But had it been sudden? Hitomi remembered Madoka being flustered on one of the walks to school, as unresponsive and shell-shocked as Hitomi was now. When Hitomi had asked where Sayaka was, Madoka had said, with eyes averted, that Sayaka wasn't feeling well.

Maybe... Maybe she's been dead for weeks!

But why did Hitomi not figure out about the death until now? Was she really so unimportant that she couldn't even be bothered with her friend's deaths?

Hitomi shook her head slightly, picking a piece of lettuce out of her teeth. She dropped it in the grass behind the bench. Littering, yes. But maybe a less fortunate animal would see it as gratitude. Hitomi hoped so, anyways.

Sayaka would have done the same. She was always so generous.

Sayaka's funeral had been horrible; a party without cake, a feast without food, a book without words. Empty, but for the sounds of silent weeping as everyone avoided eye contact for fear of the "I remember when..." speeches, those that bring back beautiful memories as sharp as a dagger. Those memories that everyone has, but are too afraid to put into words, for to put them into words would be to put Sayaka into words, and that would bring her back, but only in mind, and only to be cried over even more, until the memories are gone and all that's left is an empty wine glass and a broken heart.

Hitomi and Madoka had just sat in a corner and cried together, but was it really together? Can you truly cry with someone who doesn't tell you why their crying, why everyone's crying, who only tells you that they're crying, and you should too? Can you?

Hitomi sure as heck didn't know, and frankly, didn't think she would ever find out. She could really only just sit here, a dryness in her mouth, hand, and mind.

Hitomi took another bite. Approximately two more to go. She glanced around, and swallowed.

Hitomi still didn't know why she wasn't crying now, why she wasn't bawling her eyes out some more. She certainly had last night, getting no sleep for her cascading eyes, wailing madly into the night. Her family hadn't come to stop her, and had just left, an action that most would deem rude, but Hitomi was grateful for. They didn't need to be bothered by a third wheel like her.

A bite. One more.

As Hitomi chewed, she wondered if Kyosuke was feeling better. He hadn't gone to the funeral yesterday, apparently choosing to do his moping surrounded by the comfort of the walls. Maybe he would be able to talk to her now, they could discuss something they could do to make sure that she didn't die unforgotten. A memorial, maybe.

Hitomi swallowed, and put the rest of the sandwich into her mouth. It felt almost relieving, to be done with this "breather". It hadn't distracted her from the problem at all, and had only served to remind herself of how much she hated sandwiches.

Hitomi chewed a bit, swallowed, and stood up. After she had picked up her handbag, she turned around to see if the piece of lettuce she dropped earlier was still there.

It was.