This fiction has been requested by ObeliskX.
This fiction is influenced by the works and critique of Sombereyes, who will continue to be an ongoing support for this fiction.
This is a gender-swapping fan fiction that plays with a multi-universe.
I do not own Ah! My Goddess.
Life from Which the Pendulum Swings
Chapter 1:
Ah! Don't Sweat the Small Stuff
From water to wine, life from death, there were times when forces unlike any other in nature, performed miraculous feats of prowess. For mortal-kind, these feats were inexplicable, and were called impossible miracles. For immortal-kind, gods and demons alike, such tasks were merely tiny little whims carried on by the greater force that surrounded them. For the spirts and everyone else, it was merely the law of nature and little more.
Gods and demons called these acts contracts. These binding agreements could sway the ultimate powers that be in a multitude of different directions. As such, only carefully trained wish granters could ever utilize the true power beholden to the immortals tasked with servitude. Wish granting could be dangerous, gifting vastly undetermined results.
The will of human-kind could crush the very fabric of all that existed, and, they wouldn't even know it. As frightfully engulfing as such a thing could be, it was never at the forefront the troubles that plagued immortal minds.
No, the fears of the immortals were more domestic in nature. More secular to the joys and struggles of family, and bloodline. They were a people governed by their faith, but more so, by their aptitude.
As such, it was a wonderful day in the heavens, as one particularly busy mother tended to her three wonderful offspring.
"Belldandy," A goddess with long black hair called to her child from atop the garden steps. "Belldandy, come along now. Your teacher is here, and you mustn't keep her waiting."
"Mother, is now really the time for this?" Belldandy sighed as she put the flower down, dejectedly doing as was requested of her. "I'd rather wait for Celestine to return."
The woman smiled sadly. "You must continue your training."
"Must is such a strong word," Belldandy replied, feeling as though she was being unduly forced to switch tutors. "It is not that I must continue, it is that you wish for me to do so. I am already a goddess, first class, unlimited license holder. Is that not enough?"
The goddess before her, a former valkyrie, and current inter-species trial officer lowered her head. She knew that such a thing was not so simple. Immortals lived for far too long to go without many aspects of training. One license was not the entire make of a goddess, merely the start. "This tutor wishes to instruct you on something that Celestine couldn't possibly teach you. She cannot replace him, but she can offer you something else to do while you await his return."
"What might that possibly be?" Belldandy asked as she reached entrance to the gardens. In spite of her perfect stature, her clenched fists spoke of her fury.
"The path of the fates, child." An older woman laughed as she came to stand at the edge of the steps. "I am Neith, weaver of the fates, but even more than that, I am the stringer of tales the bards have yet to sing. You may be at ease," she seated herself upon one of the marbled banisters, crossing one leg over the other. "The tale I have for you today is one quite unlike any other. I'd suspect you'd call it a quandary."
"Is that truly so, Neith?"
"As true as the bow I carry at my side. However girl, I would not so quickly disregard its lesson, odd though it might seem."
"If I may say so, ma'am, I don't wish to learn anything else. It isn't that I'm a complete goddess, I know I am not. It is just that I don't feel up to training alongside anyone else. Celestine will return soon, I know it to be true."
Neith merely smiled. "Celestine will return to you. That is undoubtedly correct, my string weaved such a thing. However, it will be in a time far from now, when you are no longer interested in the truths Celestine has for you."
"If that is true, then why shall I train at all?" Belldandy asked as she pulled her legs up into a sitting position, floating there amongst the flowers. She turned to her mother once again. "Surely, this is a joke of some kind. Urd? Father? Mother, surely it isn't you."
"It is not, Belldandy," her mother said sternly. "It is fact that you shall obey this request, because I'm the one who begs of you to do so. Listen to Neith, learn from her Belldandy, please do for me that much."
"It seems you give me no choice in the matter," Belldandy sighed, turning begrudgingly to her tutor. "So then, I will lend you my ear for one lesson. You have that long to prove that you have something ample enough to teach me. I'm well beyond the age of rote memorization, defensive combat, and applied theory."
"I'm no armature either, I assure you," Neith laughed as she produced a spool of hempen yarn from thin air. "Now then, as dimensional theory states -"
"With every choice you make, a copy of yourself, in a mirrored universe, makes the opposite choice," Belldandy interjected. "There are millions of universes, and, thus millions of choices. Ten dimensional beings such as ourselves, are fluid because we can see every dimension."
Neith sighed as her student recited the passage as if it had been out of a book. "Well, so-to-speak, anyway. You have an impeccably sharp tongue academically, Belldandy."
"Celestine trained me very well. I am truly his protégé," Belldandy muttered with a slightly bored expression.
"Indeed, he did impress upon your lessons well," Neith murmured sadly. "Yet, he trained you as a goddess should be trained. In other universes though, Belldandy, you are not a goddess, but instead a god."
"Yet, I am a goddess here and now. Am I not?" Belldandy pointed out, slightly confused. "Why would he possibly train me to be anything other than what I am?"
Neith merely shook her head. "A better question is; why wouldn't he teach you of all things fundamental to creation as a whole? Furthermore, why wouldn't he teach you of your past incarnations?"
With a flick of her wrist, she sent the ball of hempen yarn Belldandy's way. The girl caught it, and immediately, it turned into a ball of crystal. "That girl, is a seer's orb."
"These are trinkets that aren't within my current jurisdiction. I can't use it," Belldandy said, holding it away from her form. "It is absolutely against regulations, even if I am a first class goddess."
"I am authorized to teach with it," Neith said with a wave of her hand. "What you will find within lingers a history archived from another you…a different you…in a creation much the opposite from this one."
"And if I were to gaze into it?" Belldandy asked, almost afraid to do so.
At this, Neith stood from her place and dusted herself off. "Then you would be sucked in, and have a glimpse into that life. You would experience from it…and you would awaken a wiser person for it."
"The choice is ultimately yours, Belldandy. I cannot force you," her mother said softly. "However, as an immortal, you should live many lives, and understand many different points of view."
"I don't believe I want to," Belldandy said after a moment to consider it. "The idea of a dreamlike state such as that…"
"It bothers you," Neith watched the girl pressed a palm to her forehead. "You recall something, don't you girl, something you greatly dislike."
Memories were trying to come to the surface, as if bubbling away under lock and key. The spell on the girl was powerful, but her bond with Celestine was undoubtedly stronger. The edged would crack and fray with time, until the memories burst through in a flood of realization.
"I don't know," Belldandy sighed. "My head hurts sometimes, I have no idea why. The medics don't seem worried, at least, they tell me not to be."
"Then it is nothing to be concerned over," Neith stated, sure that it was merely the residual power in Belldandy's hand. It must have been reacting to the young goddess. She decided then to let the matter drop. "I believe this is why you should undergo the training. You will find yourself anew. If you just try it once, you will see."
"I need time to think."
"Keep it with you, a gift," Neith nodded as she rested her palms on Belldandy's shoulders. "I will come to collect it in a fortnight. Please, consider using it just once before then."
"It is an odd way to train a person," Belldandy concluded later that evening as she sat on her bed. "Celestine, would never leave something like this in my possession, would he?"
Across the room, that mysterious bauble left in her custody continued to antagonize her. Without meaning to, her rage sent it plopping to the floor. Almost instantly her cold anger softened and she went to rescue the object from the corner behind her desk.
"I mustn't fret over such little worries like that. I'm a powerful goddess. Rage doesn't suit me, anger does not control me. I am my own vessel, and my power is exclusionary of all personal pursuits and endeavors. I must make peace with the idea of imperfection, even within myself. I must do so, I shall."
With a sigh, she put the orb back onto her desk and opened up the double doors. Her personal balcony was just outside of her room. A short distance off, her sister floated primly in the air gazing at the earth. Without thinking too deeply on the matter, Belldandy found herself floating beside her.
"You are angry," Belldandy could feel the ripples in the air. Disturbed and ill-at-ease.
"I am pissed," Urd said sharply as she turned to her sister. "You wouldn't believe the new gossip that's been floating around about me. Damn them anyway, full-fledged goddesses need their angels to carry the weight, but not me. I don't need my angel, I can do my job without her."
"I'm sorry Urd," Belldandy couldn't imagine a day without Holybell by her side, and frankly, she didn't want to.
"You don't have to be sorry."
"But I am."
"It's pity, that's different. I don't need that either, least of all from you."
"Urd…"
"I hate it when you do that," Urd groused as she played with the rings on her fingers. They said nothing for a long while, relying on the heavenly creatures to fill the void their voices left behind. Urd used to like those kind of moments when Belldandy was little, falling asleep early, and always in her lap.
She missed those days of blissful ignorance. They were so few and far between, and the older she got, the more bitter she grew to be. "Don't worry so much," Urd finally told her. "I never did it either, I was afraid of what I would see. For two weeks I let that stupid little orb float beside me, but I never once let myself truly gaze into it."
"I never knew," Belldandy lamented, wondering what pain lingered in her older sister's heart. "I wish you would have told me."
"There wasn't anything you could do. I think it's a private sort of training, and I guess a lot of goddesses are too afraid to see what's inside."
"I'm not afraid to do the training, it's just that I don't see the point. What could possibly be in that pocket universe that's worth experiencing. Why wouldn't I be able to face those events in my life now, as I am?"
"You know what I am, Belldandy, so I have a little experience with what I'm about to say," Urd took a breath to steady herself. "It doesn't matter what you think you are, all that matters is that you live up to the expectations of everyone else around you. That's what creation wants. That's all it wants."
"But that isn't what I want! Urd, all I want is to be back under Celestine's wing. To be by his side once more, I want him to return quickly, or be sent to his side. Doesn't anyone understand that?"
"I do," Urd said quietly. "But you'll obey anyway, because you're a first class, unlimited licensed goddess. You're not in the position to argue or deny your betters. You're the golden child Belldandy. You always have been, and you'll live up to the expectation."
It was true in many ways. Belldandy liked to please others, she enjoyed it. Seeing people smile made her smile in return. It was the gift of happiness that mattered most, and Belldandy believed that as firmly as her old mentor. Joy should not be squandered. It should never be repressed, and instead shared with all who wanted to bask in it.
"Did you want to look, Urd?" Belldandy asked then, those inquisitive blue eyes of hers deep with emotion. The question was something even creation itself dared to ponder. "Do you regret not doing so while you had the chance?"
"I regret seeming weak."
"Oh, but you aren't. You're one of the strongest goddesses I know."
"How strong is a person that can't face themselves?" Urd asked as she shook her head. "I'm not strong Belldandy, I'm just me."