Carmilla shows up at Laura's house unexpectedly and when Laura finds out why, she freaks out and shit ensues.
*edited*
TW: abuse aftermath/descriptions, underage drinking (18), swearing, panic attack (let me know if I need to add anymore)
Laura's eyes were getting heavier by the second as she laid, stock still, in her bed staring at the wall across from her, her blankets tucked up to her chin and wrapped around her body like a warm, mini, Laura burrito. She was seconds from falling into a dreamless sleep when her phone started to vibrate on her bedside table. Instead of ignoring the obnoxious intrusion to her sleep ritual like she wanted to, she groaned and turned over, blindly reaching for the source of the sound in the dark. When she pressed the home button on her phone, she had to squint to be able to see anything, her eyes not yet used to the brightness of the screen. The notification read:
One new message from Carmilla.
Laura swiped her finger across the banner on her screen without hesitation, unlocking her phone and opening the message.
[Carm (12:02am)]: U up?
Laura felt her face light up and a sleepy smile creep it's way onto her features before she quickly typed out a response, her sleep deprived brain barely registering what keys her fingers were hitting.
[Laura (12:02am)]: What? Couldn't get enough of me during the day?
Laura watched as the bubble at the bottom of the screen popped up with three tiny dots, indicating that Carmilla started to type back immediately.
[Carm (12:03am)]: Never, Cutie. Open your front door.
Laura raised an eyebrow at the inanimate object gripped in her hand, ignoring the blush in her cheeks that came with the nickname. She started typing after a second debate in her head.
[Laura (12:04am)]: What? Why?
Carmilla's response came instantaneously.
[Carm (12:04am)]: Laur...Please.
Laura was left with a confused look on her face as she pressed the lock button on the top of her phone and the screen returned to black. She didn't bother responding, but instead she pushed the covers over to the other side of the bed with a huff and sleepily dragged herself across her room with hunched shoulders and half-lidded eyes to the door before silently turned the knob. She cursed her father's overprotectiveness. If he hadn't been so worried potential stalkers might climb in through Laura's bedroom window, Carmilla could just use that, but nooooo , he had to go and put an alarm on it and a lock that Laura didn't-
Laura's phone vibrated again in her hand, cutting off her inner rant. She lifted the screen to see a new message from Carmilla.
[Carm (12:05am)]: Are u coming or will I have to sleep on your front porch. It's cold out here. I can feel my tits freezing off and that'd just be a tragedy for you, Sweetheart.
Laura could feel her cheeks starting to burn up because, honestly, Carmilla wasn't wrong. She did have nice boobs and if they did happen to freeze off in some cruel, twisted, probably painful way, then yeah, maybe Laura would miss them, but somehow she doubted that would happen. Especially on a night where the temperature was maybe 50 degrees at it's coldest. Carmilla definitely wouldn't freeze. Dramatic much?
Wait. Carmilla was supposedly on her front porch? Laura's eyebrows furrowed and she had to reread the message before quickly typing out a response.
[Laura (12:06am)]: Carm, are you seriously on my front porch? It's past midnight. What are you doing?
Instead of a reply from her broody, over dramatic girlfriend, Laura's phone screen lit up with a picture of Carmilla flicking her off, that Laura took one morning after waking Carmilla up from her slumber, and she quickly swiped her finger across the screen, answering the call.
"Carm, if this is a joke..."
"I'm really on your front porch right now and I would greatly appreciate it if you would come and unlock the door. Please."
At the sound of Carmilla's voice, strained and shaky, Laura's stomach dropped to the floor. She almost wished Carmilla had just responded with a quick 'yes' , instead. Carmilla was breathing heavily and her breaths came in ragged and uneven. It sounded like every breath she took was a chore and took everything out of her with every inhale.
Laura wasn't actually expecting her girlfriend to be outside her front door and, frankly, she was shocked that she actually was, but more so she was just very confused and tired, but Carmilla sounded sick or something , so Laura sucked it up and tried to ignore the pit growing in her stomach.
At the sound of Carmilla clearing her throat and sniffling, Laura shook her head, bringing herself out of her thoughts and practically sprinted down the steps toward the foyer, taking them two at a time while trying not to make a lot of noise so she wouldn't wake her dad or brother in her haste.
"Carm, why do you sound so weird?"
Laura's question went unanswered as she reached the front door. She heard Carmilla take in a rough breath and wince slightly on the other end of the phone as she reached blindly along the wall to her left for the porch light. It didn't take her long before her fingers brushed against the switch and she flicked it on. Through the windows, she could see the dark silhouette of Carmilla's body. She wasn't wearing her usual leather jacket, dark jeans, and combat boots, in fact she wasn't wearing shoes at all. Laura could make out Carmilla's pale bare feet, a whitish t shirt with drops of something staining the front of it, and a pair of dark running shorts over Carmilla's pale legs. She was leaning against the brick wall, her head rested against the cold brick. Laura could hear Carmilla sigh on the other end of the phone and watched as she shuffled a bit before Laura turned the lock and opened the door, letting in a cool breeze. Okay, so it was a bit more chilly than she thought. Maybe Carmilla wasn't as over dramatic as she made herself out to be.
"Shit, woman. It's fucking freezing out here."
Laura smiled at the dark haired girl in front of her, hanging up her phone and putting it in the pocket of her oversized grey sweat pants. She automatically wrapped her arms around herself, shielding her upper body from the breeze.
"Hey to you too, Cupcake."
Carmilla tried to put as much enthusiasm and sarcasm as she could muster into her words, trying to make it sound like she was just fine and dandy and that what had just happened back at her mother's house, a dream.
"Hi. Now get in here."
Laura reached out to grab Carmilla's wrist to pull her inside, but stopped mid reach, her smile quickly fading when she saw the bottle of Jack in Carmilla's hand. Carmilla's face was hidden in the shadows of the poor light and Laura couldn't read her expression.
"Carm...What are you doing?"
Laura reached for Carmilla's hand again, but Carmilla shied away trying to turn from Laura's view, back to the street, not knowing Laura's biggest concern was the fact that she showed up drunk. Laura hadn't stopped looking at the bottle since she opened the door and noticed it.
"It's not as bad as it looks."
Laura's eyebrows came together as she looked up at Carmilla's face, her focus still only on the bottle in Carmilla's hand.
"Are you drunk?"
Laura sounded exhausted and Carmilla couldn't help but feel bad that she had bothered her so late, but she also needed to get away from her mother and that house.
"Indeed, Sherlock."
Carmilla pulled out her sarcasm as a defense mechanism and tried to ignore Laura's obvious unease.
"What happened?"
Laura's tone was laced with concern, she ignored the Sherlock comment. Laura knew Carmilla didn't usually drink, especially not to get drunk and especially not after what happened to her father, but then again, she also didn't usually show up at Laura's front door at midnight barefoot and wearing close to nothing. Laura stepped back into the foyer so Carmilla could come inside. It took a minute for Carmilla to build up enough courage to actually step forward, but when she did, the light illuminated the rest of her face and body. She used the wall for support as she gripped her side with her free hand. Laura's face dropped and her stomach fell to the floor instantly, her hand flying to her open mouth in shock. Tears started to prick the corners of Laura's eyes at the sight in front of her. Carmilla stared at the ground, suddenly regretting walking the mile and a half from her house to the safety of Laura's.
"Oh my God..."
Laura's voice cracked as she finally got a good look at Carmilla's features. Laura quickly took the fifth from Carmilla's hand and placed it on the table in the foyer to her right. She wrapped an arm around Carmilla's waist, causing Carmilla's white t shirt to ride up a bit past her hips. Laura looked down at the movement and noticed dark marks on Carmilla's wrists. Laura's eyes followed up Carmilla's body, only stopping when she caught sight of the bruises on Carmilla's stomach and back. Most of them were new and dark, but a lot of them were yellowing. Laura's breath caught in her throat and she tried to swallow her tears as she managed to stutter out,
"Who- Why- Carm...?"
Carmilla could barely stand without the support of the wall that she left when she stepped past the threshold into Laura's house and Laura grabbed her. Laura was the only thing holding her up.
The tears in Laura's eyes were close to pooling over, now, as she reached up with her free hand and lightly traced her fingers across Carmilla's jaw. She ghosted the pads of her fingers lightly across Carmilla's bruised cheek and to the cut on her temple, down the side of her face and to her split and swollen lip. There was dried blood smeared across Carmilla's cheek from her nose, her left eye was already turning a dark blue. Carmilla winced as Laura wiped at the dried blood, her eyes closing.
She was so tired. Tired of her mother. Tired of her mother's shit. Tired of lying to Laura about. Tired in general.
"I'm fine, Cutie, really."
She said it barely above a whisper and the obvious pain in her voice made Laura's bottom lip quiver as she took in a shaky breath. Carmilla's eyes were still closed.
"Carm?"
Laura's eyebrows came together, creating worry lines. Carmilla's eyes were still closed as her head lolled to the side landing on Laura's shoulder and her legs gave out from underneath her. Laura reacted without thinking, immediately thrusting her arms under Carmilla's, catching her before she ended up on the ground. Laura let out a small gasp as Carmilla fell into her grasp and she slowly kneeled down onto the floor, gently bringing Carmilla with her. Laura pulled her close to her chest and started rocking back and forth, whispering,
"Carm, you need to wake up. Please. Carmilla, wake up."
She cupped Carmilla's cheek with one hand and supported her limp body with the other. Laura's body started shaking uncontrollably and she had to grasp onto Carmilla's shirt to keep her hands from shaking. Laura didn't know what to do. Another sob escaped her throat as she looked down at her girlfriend's bruised and beaten body in her arms and threw a hand over her mouth to try and muffle her cries, only succeeding in making them worse. She breathed deeply through her open mouth, trying to calm herself enough to speak. She barely got out,
"Carm...Come on..."
Laura gently shook Carmilla's shoulder, trying, again, to wake her up, or at the very least, show a sign that she was somewhat responsive.
Nothing.
Laura brushed Carmilla's hair out of her face, being careful not to touch her bad side, and tucked it behind her ear.
"Jesus, Carm..."
More tears managed to stream down Laura's cheeks as she looked more closely at Carmilla's face. She tried to hold back her cries, resulting, instead, in hiccups escaping her throat. Her hand shot to her mouth, again. She looked down at Carmilla's limp body in her arms and then to the stairs. There was no way she could carry her all the way up the stairs and into her bedroom by herself. Carmilla was 100 some pounds of deadweight and right now Laura didn't even think she could get herself up the stairs.
A light switch flicked on down the hall, making Laura jump, her head immediately whipped toward the hallway next to the stairs and the basement door and saw light flooding the hallway. Her heart skipped a beat and her breathing became irregular. To say she was starting to panic, was an understatement.
"Shit, shit, shit!"
Laura scrambled to try and pick Carmilla up quickly, but gently in an attempt to carry her up the stairs before whoever was walking up the basement stairs could see the scene playing out in the foyer, but she didn't make it far before she needed to place Carmilla down again. Laura tried again, whispering profanities under her breath as she tried to keep her footing while trying to support Carmilla's head and shoulders at the same time. Panic rose in Laura's throat as the footsteps continued further down the hallway and she realized there was no way she was going to make it all the way up the stairs and to her bedroom. She made it onto the first step, but the front door was still wide open and the footsteps were practically around the corner at this point.
She heard another light switch flick and the light was no longer flooding the hallway. Laura's body tensed and she froze as the light for the hallway next to the stairs flicked on, illuminating the foyer with more light.
"Shit, why is it so damn cold in here?"
It was Noah.
Laura visibly relaxed when she heard his voice and it wasn't her dad. Her dad would have had a fit if he saw Carmilla in the condition that she was in. He considered her his second daughter and he would stop at nothing to find out who hurt her and being a police officer gave him a nice advantage.
"Laura? What the fuck are you doing? Why is the front door open?"
Noah walked around the corner of the stairs into Laura's view and Laura froze. Laura couldn't speak, she just sat there with her mouth hanging open, hoping words would come out. Noah's eyes finally left Laura's to look down into her lap. His face fell.
"Laura..."
Laura's face crumpled as she managed to croak out, "Help."
Noah kneeled down beside her, looking at Carmilla's body on her lap. He didn't ask what happened, he just looked back up at Laura who cried, "I don't know what to do," as she followed Noah's line of sight down at Carmilla's face. Her eyes twitched.
"Carm…?"
Laura gently shook Carmilla's shoulder. At the sudden movement, Carmilla winced, her face scrunching up in pain, but she kept her eyes closed. Noah abruptly stood up and shut the door, turning the lock and shutting off the outside light. He walked back over to Laura and gestured to Carmilla's body, as if he was asking for permission to touch her. Laura slowly nodded her head, almost trance-like, signaling that it was okay for him to go ahead and lift her up. Noah carefully placed his hands under Carmilla's shoulders and lifted her up into a standing position. Carmilla cried out in pain as Noah placed one of her arms around his shoulders and the other around Carmilla's waist, supporting her the best he could.
"Fuck," Carmilla winced, tears forming behind her eyelids. She wrapped her free hand around her ribs, hoping the pressure would subdue some of the pain. It helped barely, and when she finally opened her eyes, she rested her gaze on the floor as the tears started to fall.
Laura stood up. She had only ever seen Carmilla cry one other time.
"What can I do?" She whispered to Noah. She tried not to look directly at Carmilla, afraid she might not be able to control her crying, but out of the corner of her eye, she could tell Carmilla was in a lot of pain and avoiding looking at her.
"I'll get her upstairs and into your bed, get some ice or something and bring it up."
Noah started to turn around and head up the stairs, but he didn't get very far. He could feel Laura still standing there. He turned his head so he was looking at her and found Laura staring at the back of Carmilla's head with such fire and sadness in her eyes, it was off putting.
"Laura..."
He tried to get her attention, but there were more tears starting to run down her cheeks and her bottom lip was trembling with every breath she took.
"Laura."
He said her name a little louder this time, finally managing to get her attention. Her eyes snapped to his.
"She'll be okay. I need you to go get ice and dad's painkillers that he used when he hurt his neck."
She nodded her head, but she was still frozen at the bottom of the stairs and didn't look like she actually heard anything that Noah was trying to tell her.
"Laura, now."
Noah watched as Laura blinked a few times and nodded her head again, seeming to finally break out of her trance. As Noah started slowly up the stairs, taking one step at a time, Laura turned around and started to head toward the kitchen. Her hands were still shaking and the tears falling from her eyes hadn't stopped, but having a task to do while Noah took care of getting Carmilla into Laura's bedroom was better than feeling hopeless. Laura clamped her hands together to try and stop them from shaking, but it was no use, she was too scared, too angry and sad by the whole ordeal that she couldn't stop. She absentmindedly tucked a strand of hair behind her ear as a nervous habit and drew in a shaky breath, trying to calm herself down enough to focus on the task Noah sent her to do. When Laura reached the medicine cabinet and opened it, she started pushing around pill bottles looking for the one with her dad's name on it. Having trouble reading the bottles through her tears, she wiped under her eyes with the back of her hand and took another deep breath, blinking rapidly. After pushing around a few more bottle she found her dad's painkillers all the way at the back of the cupboard. She shakily unscrewed the cap and emptied the remaining pills into her palm, counting the large capsules as they landed in her hand. There was three left. She pocketed one and put the other two back into the bottle before placing the bottle in the pocket of her sweats and walking over to the fridge and opening the freezer door, only to find the ice tray empty.
"Of course."
Laura sighed and searched for something else that Carmilla could use. She found a few bags of frozen vegetables at the bottom of the freezer, collecting freezer burn. Deeming the freezer burned vegetables good enough, Laura grabbed the bags quickly and picked up a water bottle out of the fridge before heading out of the kitchen and into the foyer, stopping at the bottom of the stairs. She took a couple deep breaths, closing her eyes, trying to focus on getting upstairs and not what else Carmilla had been hiding from her or who would be cruel enough to lay a hand on her in punishment and enough hatred to cause so much pain.
Laura had her suspicions about the abuse, but she wasn't 100% positive until she saw the fresh marks on Carmilla's skin. During the school year, and during their summer photography course, she would see Carmilla show up to class in long sleeves or almost always a jacket and sometimes even sunglasses. Carmilla's teachers never questioned her or complained because Carmilla's mother was on the school board and after Carmilla's father died, she got away with a lot. Sometimes Carmilla wouldn't show up to school at all, but she always had an excuse and Laura never had a reason not to believe her. They were best friends after all.
Some days Carmilla would avoid Laura altogether, for the entire day, only talking to her over the phone or through texts, usually when Laura got fed up with the silent treatment and gave in. It was hardly ever Carmilla who initiated the conversation on those days. Laura was used to it though, having known Carmilla since they were six, she knew how Carmilla acted and when she should or shouldn't pry. Laura learned early on that Carmilla was very introverted and sometimes needed her space, even from Laura.
Everything was coming together in her head and suddenly it all made a lot more sense and Laura could feel her heart being torn in half. Someone was hurting Carmilla and she didn't know what to do. She should have noticed the signs. She should have known. Looking back, Carmilla even made hints about what was happening in the privacy of her home, but Laura never caught on. God, how could she be so naive? She felt as if what had happened was somewhat her fault and she couldn't breathe.
"Laura."
Noah sounded like he was under water and a hundred miles away. His voice was steady though, and Laura tried to grasp onto it with all she could.
"Laur...It's okay...Laura."
Laura felt pressure on her shoulder and jumped.
"It's okay, relax."
It was Noah. He was kneeling in front of her, his hand on her shoulder, his eyes full of concern. The bags of vegetables were scattered around Laura's knees and the water bottle she was previously holding had rolled across the floor a few feet in front of her into the foyer.
"Laura. Breathe,"
Noah tried to get Laura to relax, but her breaths were coming in too fast and her lungs weren't filling up like they should. It felt like her heart had been ripped from her chest, leaving a gaping hole in its place and the walls around her seemed to be caving in. Laura couldn't see straight, she was suddenly dizzy and the edges of her vision were fuzzy.
"Hey. She's okay. Laura."
Noah shook Laura's shoulder a bit to get her attention. Her eyes, unfocused, darted across the room trying to focus on anything but the thoughts and images in her head that seemed as if they were permanently burned into her retinas.
"Look at me."
Laura felt a tug on her chin and was forced to look up at Noah. She didn't realize she was on her knees until Noah stood up, taking her with him, leaving a steadying hand on her elbow. Laura tried to focus on her brother's eyes and his voice and eventually her breathing began to slow down. His eyes were almost the same color as hers and a shade darker than Carmilla's.
Carmilla.
"Oh god," she managed to choke out, before letting out a cry she hadn't known she was holding. Laura's cheeks were wet with fresh tears.
" Carm. "
Laura looked up at Noah and after removing his hands, slowly, from her elbow and shoulder, she realized her knees were weak.
"Laura, she's upstairs, she's in your bed. Are you okay?"
Noah didn't expect an answer, he knew she wasn't. He bent down to grab the frozen vegetables and water Laura had dropped in the foyer. Laura turned towards the stairs and didn't bother answering before bolting up the staircase two at a time. She heard Noah whisper something to her but she didn't catch it, she was already halfway to the second level of the house. Laura ran down the hallway, stopping at her bedroom door, her hand hovering over the door handle. She was still shaking uncontrollably. Laura took a few slow, deep breaths and closed her eyes for a few seconds before turning the knob and pushing the door open.
The lights inside her room were off, with the exception of her small owl desk lamp. Laura could make out the outline of Carmilla's body on her bed. She was lying under the covers, her bruised body hidden from view, her head resting on Laura's favorite yellow pillow. Laura didn't move. She just stood there in the doorway, watching the ragged rise and fall of Carmilla's chest under the light blanket. Carmilla was facing away from the light of the lamp, her face in shadow. Laura took a step closer to the bed, but didn't make it far before she paused again, not sure of what to do, or what she was allowed to do.
"You can go sit with her, you know."
Laura jumped at the sound of Noah's voice behind her. He only whispered, but he might as well have screamed with how quiet the house was at that moment. Laura managed to nod her head, at least acknowledging that she understood what her brother had said, but she still made no move to go sit down, so instead, Noah did. He walked past Laura and, as quietly as he could, placed the frozen vegetables and water on the nightstand beside the bed before trying, again, to get Laura to talk to him.
"Did you grab dad's painkillers? She's going to need them."
Again, Laura just nodded her head, her eyes glued to Carmilla's body.
"Laura."
She shook her head, clearing it of the images plaguing her memory and this time, looked up from Carmilla to her brother, meeting his eyes in the dark.
"Hm?"
"The painkillers."
"Oh. Right," Laura whispered.
She reached into her pocket feeling around for the pill that she tucked away in the kitchen. Noah approached her with caution, not sure how she was going to react. He had only witnessed her in this state a handful of times and he didn't like it. When Laura finally found the pill, Noah gently took it from her shaking fingers and walked back to the bedside table, but paused when Laura rushed out a frantic 'wait'.
Laura grabbed the pill bottle from her other pocket and placed it on the dresser before going to stand next to Noah and whispering, "Can we be alone?".
Noah just nodded his head and as Laura reached her hand out in front of her, palm up, he handed her back the pill before going to wait by the open door of Laura's bedroom, watching as Laura carefully sat on the edge of the bed next to Carmilla's body.
"Carm?"
Laura gently reached out a shaky hand and tucked Carmilla's hair behind her ear before placing a hand over Carmilla's closed fist, absentmindedly rubbing circles into her soft skin. Carmilla relaxed her grip on the duvet at Laura's touch, automatically, while she tried to ignore the ache in her chest at the gesture and the way Laura's eyes were burning holes into her skin with the way she was looking at her. Although, she'd take that burning sensation anyday over the one that her mother's hand left on her cheek. Laura tried to swallow the lump that formed at the back of her throat.
"Hun."
Laura's eyebrows shot up, her eyes finding Carmilla's face. She wasn't expecting Carmilla to say anything, her eyes were still closed. Laura thought she was asleep.
"Ye-," Laura's voice broke so she paused to clear her throat before starting again. "Yeah?"
"I'm going to need you to do me a favor and quit looking at me like a kicked puppy."
Laura froze the movements of her thumb over the back of Carmilla's hand, her eyes dropping down, suddenly taking great interest in the color of her bedspread.
"Um...Sorry...I didn't..."
Laura shook her head, she could feel the back of her neck heating up at being caught. She risked a glance back at Carmilla, her eyes were open now and she was watching Laura intently, only causing to deepen the blush rising to Laura's cheeks. Carmilla rolled her eyes.
"Laura, relax, I'll be fine."
"Well, you don't look fine...I got you frozen vegetables and my dad's old painkillers if you-"
Laura was cut off by a sharp intake of breath as Carmilla lifted herself onto her side by her elbow and immediately regretted it, feeling the discomfort in her side. Laura's face fell.
"Maybe you shouldn't-"
"I'm fine."
"Carm…"
"Laura."
Laura sighed knowing arguing would be a lost cause. Carmilla was the most stubborn person she had ever met and she knew better than to start something that would probably just result in a petty fight. So, instead she went back to rubbing circles into the back of Carmilla's hand, but the silence didn't last very long. Carmilla watched as Laura opened her mouth as if to say something, but Laura quickly shut it, changing her mind. Carmilla rolled her eyes again and spit out,
"Say it."
Laura opened her mouth again, but the words were caught in her throat. She watched Carmilla, her eyes darting up and down her body under the covers, anything to avoid her gaze. Laura felt tears start to form at the corners of her eyes. She looked back down at Carmilla's hand in hers, thinking about how to say what she wanted without offending Carmilla, her eyebrows creased in concentration.
"I just…"
"You just what, Laura," Carmilla sighed.
Laura shrugged and the words started flowing out of her mouth like word vomit. She didn't have any control over them. She was upset. All of the thoughts she kept inside from the minute she saw Carmilla, bruised and beaten on her front porch, seemed to be pouring from her lips.
"I think we should tell someone. I mean, tell someone other than me and Noah. I think you need to see a doctor. What if something's broken? What if you're seriously hurt? What if you have a concussion or something? You're not supposed to sleep if you have a concussion and you're drunk, Carmilla. You're probably tired. It's late. I'm tired. I don't know what to do. I thought about calling an ambulance, but then my dad would wake up and what am I supposed to tell him? What do I tell him tomorrow? What about Noah? Who even did this to you? Was it someone I know? Was it Will? Was it...I don't know...God, if I ever get my hands on them, I'd like to-"
Somewhere in the middle of her outburst Laura stood up and began to pace along the side of her bed, in front of where Carmilla was laying. Carmilla watched as Laura squared her shoulders and tightened her hands into fists at her sides, her knuckles were turning white. There were tears running down her cheeks.
"Woah there, Sundance. Calm down-"
"Calm down?! Carmilla! Someone hurt you and you want me to calm down?!"
"Yes. Laura, Calm. Down. Will would never do something like this. You can't tell anyone. I'm fine, really. Nothing is broken, I don't have a concussion and you don't need to call an ambulance."
Carmilla tried to sound as calm as possible. Laura had since stopped pacing and she was now standing in front of Carmilla who was watching her carefully.
"How?! I can't calm down. You're hurt. Badly. How am I supposed to-" Laura cried, gesturing to Carmilla's body.
Laura was breathing hard and clenching and unclenching her fists. Her face was beat red and was showing no signs of calming down anytime soon so Carmilla did the only thing that might have remotely worked. She knew that trying to calm Laura down with words was useless. She wasn't listening, she was too worked up. Instead, Carmilla scooted back on the bed a few inches, ignoring the pain that shot through her body, making room so Laura could lay with her. She patted the spot in front of her on the bed and watched as Laura took a step closer to the bed, but paused mid step, her hands still clenched into fists.
"Come here."
Carmilla patted the spot again and pulled back the covers. She watched as Laura's shoulder's relaxed and the crease in between her eyebrows disappeared before she finally moved from her spot on the floor. Laura carefully climbed into her bed and lied down next to Carmilla, trying to avoid touching her, for fear of hurting her more, but Carmilla was having none of that and shook her head, grabbing Laura's hand and placing it on her waist.
"It's okay, I'm not made of glass, Laura, you can touch me. I'm not going to break."
Laura let out a small, hollow laugh and Carmilla's face turned up in confusion.
"I'm supposed to be the one comforting you, you're the one in pain," Laura whispered, tears falling down her cheeks.
It hurt Carmilla's heart. That seemed to be happening a lot that night and maybe she would regret laying with Laura later, but at that moment it was what they both needed.
Carmilla placed her hand on Laura's cheek before she brushed away the stray tears with her thumb and pulled Laura to her chest. She placed a kiss to the top of Laura's head as Laura squeezed her eyes shut and buried her face in Carmilla's chest, hugging Carmilla's waist. Carmilla winced, at the sudden pressure, causing Laura to freeze and look up at Carmilla's face with concern as she rushed out, "Shit, I'm sorry." Laura went to take her hand away, but Carmilla stopped her.
"No, it's okay... I like you here."
Laura immediately relaxed again at her words and Carmilla intertwined their legs as Laura closed her eyes and softly whispered, "I like you here, too," into Carmilla's neck, causing her heart to flutter, but her stomach to drop at the same time.
Laura could hear Carmilla's ragged breaths as they laid pressed into each other's bodies, limbs tangled, so close they could feel each other's heartbeat. The moment only lasted for a few minutes, though, before Carmilla sighed and pulled away to look Laura in the eye, a thought from earlier coming to mind.
"I need you to listen to me, okay?"
Laura nodded her head. She was exhausted. It had been a long night and she kind of just wanted to lay there in silence, wrapped up in Carmilla's arms, and forget the whole thing even happened.
"I mean really listen, this is important, Laura."
Laura nodded her head again, looking up to meet Carmilla's eyes, her eyes darting back and forth between Carmilla's.
"You cannot tell anyone what happened tonight. Not even your dad. Not the police. Not a hospital. No one. I'm not worried about Noah, we already talked, but Laura...No. One."
Laura only stared at her, blankly, not completely sure if she could promise that and not completely sure as to why Carmilla would even want her to in the first place. Carmilla gently grabbed Laura's face with both hands, getting her full attention.
"Laura, say something. I need you to understand."
Laura continued to stare blankly at Carmilla. Could she really keep a secret like this from her father?
"Laura, please, answer me. This is important."
Carmilla watched Laura's face, closely, for any sign that she was there with her and knew Carmilla was talking to her. Carmilla almost preferred angry Laura over silent Laura. Finally Laura managed to nod her head and whisper ' okay '. If Carmilla needed her to keep this a secret then she could do it, she'd just have to be careful and hold her tongue. An okay wasn't good enough for Carmilla, though.
"I need you to say you won't mention what happened to anyone."
Carmilla was getting worried. She trusted Laura, but she didn't trust Laura's good intentions or her morals or the way she spouted anything that was on her mind when she got angry or scared or when she was under pressure, especially up against her father. Carmilla had been on the receiving end of his interrogation tactics one too many times and even she couldn't hold up against the pressure for too long. He was good at it, better than good, he was the one the Chief of Police went to if they needed to get a confession out of someone. He was the best and that was an understatement. Maybe being involved with the police force since he graduated high school , being the top of his class at the academy, and having a detective as a father had something to do with it.
"I won't," Laura whispered, again and Carmilla shook her head.
"Promise me."
Carmilla needed to hear her say it.
"I promise."
Carmilla sighed, "Laura, please," wiping at a rogue tear that escaped Laura's eye.
"Carmilla, I promise I won't say anything."
And Carmilla believed she wouldn't. The look in her eyes when Laura said it gave her away. She wasn't going to tell a soul.
Carmilla nodded her head and pulled Laura back to her chest, leaving a soft kiss to Laura's head before whispering, "Get some sleep, Cutie," into Laura's hair.
Laura began rubbing circles into Carmilla's back, listening closely for the hitches in Carmilla's breath when she rubbed the wrong spot, brushing against a bruise or fresh mark and making a note to avoid touching there. Carmilla relaxed into Laura's touch quickly and she closed her eyes. She focused on the soothing motion of Laura's hand moving in slow circles on her back and her nails as they scratched lightly against the fabric of her t shirt. Carmilla focused on Laura's warm breath evening out on her neck and Laura's body pressed against hers, so close she could feel the warmth of her skin even under her clothes. She savored the smell of Laura's coconut shampoo in her hair everytime Carmilla took a breath and she forgot about the pain throughout her body and who caused it. She thought about how nice it felt, to sinply be there with Laura, and how much she'd love to lay like this for the rest of eternity, but she couldn't. Not while she was still here, not while her mother was still around. Maybe in another life, or maybe in the future, but not then.
Carmilla let Laura fall asleep in her arms and she took in everything that was Laura and that is what she would hold onto after that night. She opened her eyes and the pillow underneath her cheek was damp with the tears that she had been holding in all evening. Maybe five more minutes with Laura in her arms wouldn't hurt.
Carmilla woke up to a sharp pain in her lower back. In a panic, she quickly rolled off the bed and was on her feet in seconds, her chest rising and falling rapidly, causing the pain in her side to return, but she ignored it, afraid of what she might have to brace herself against. It didn't take long before her eyes adjusted to the dark and she let out a long, steadying breath when she recognized her surroundings.
Laura's bedroom.
Carmilla looked down at the bed to find Laura still fast asleep, her body sprawled across the entire mattress, the covers kicked to the end of the bed sometime in last couple hours. Carmilla sighed and ran a hand through her hair before walking to the bedside table where she grabbed her phone and headed into Laura's bathroom. She shut the door quietly behind her before she turned on the light, causing her to squint her eyes at the sudden brightness. As her eyes adjusted, Carmilla hit the lock button on her phone, checking the time. It was 5:28am. Keeping that in mind, she placed her phone in the pocket of her gym shorts and reluctantly stepped up to the bathroom sink to stand in front of the mirror. She knew what she looked like, she could feel every mark on her skin, burning with the lingering touch of her mother's hand like a brand.
Carmilla's mother wasn't always abusive. She wasn't always violent. When Carmilla was 15, her father was in a car accident. Her mother never told her much about it, but Carmilla wasn't stupid, she heard plenty about it from the kids in her school and Laura, whose father was working that night at the station.
Carmilla's father was driving home from the bar, having been out with a few of his friends from work. He didn't usually drink because he was on call at the hospital all the time so it wasn't shocking when the local news station announced that his blood alcohol level was below the limit, insinuating that he might have had a few beers within a few hours. The driver of the car that hit him though, was beyond drunk. Twice the legal limit, they said. Carmilla's father didn't come into her room early the next morning, before he went to work, to check on her like he usually did, instead of a kiss to the forehead, Carmilla woke up to Mr. Hollis and his partner at the front door and her mother's sobs in the foyer.
After her father's death, Carmilla's mother picked up the habit of having wine with dinner every night.
Sometimes too much wine.
Some nights, Carmilla would find her mother passed out on the livingroom couch. Some nights, it was the bathroom floor or the kitchen table.
Carmilla's mother wasn't a happy drunk, either. It started with words, hurtful things her mother would say to her, and within a few years, the verbal abuse escalated to physical abuse, but it had never been as bad as it was that night.
Carmilla looked back up at her reflection in the mirror above the sink and cringed at the cut on her forehead. There was dried blood in her hair and smeared across her cheek from her nose and her eyes were red and bloodshot from crying herself to sleep. Carmilla gently traced the bruises along her jaw and around her eye, wincing when she touched a tender spot on her cheekbone. She sighed and gripped the edges of the sink, closing her eyes and shaking her head before turning around to grab a dark washcloth from the linen closet behind her. Carmilla wet the washcloth with warm water and gently wiped at the dried blood under her nose and across her cheek, making sure to get it all off before moving to the cut at her hairline and down her temple, her eyes watering at the rough material of the washcloth against her sensitive skin. She held her hair back from her face, trying to get the blood out of her hair, but it was useless. She wouldn't get much progress without a shower so she decided to deal with her hair later and carefully threw it up into a bun on top of her head. When she finished, Carmilla stared at herself in the mirror. There were fresh tears in her eyes and she could feel a lump growing in her throat. She barely recognized herself. She looked down at the stained washcloth in her hands and tossed it in the trash, making sure to bury between the previous trash that was already in the bin. Carmilla's bottom lip trembled as she sighed and shut off the bathroom light before she opened the door and headed back out into Laura's room. When her eyes adjusted to the dim lighting of Laura's owl lamp, she found Laura hadn't moved. Her mouth was slightly open and her hair was a mess around her shoulders. She was in the middle of the bed, one arm across the spot where Carmilla was previously lying and she looked so peaceful. Carmilla wanted to crawl back in bed with her and forget what happened the night before, but she had already made up her mind. Carmilla let out a shaky breath as tears started to fall from the corners of her eyes. She quickly wiped them away with the back of her hand and remembered what she had to do.
Carmilla walked over to Laura's dresser and opened the top drawer where she knew she would find a pile of her clothes. She found then folded neatly next to a pile of Laura's colorful socks. Her clothes were there from the time her and Laura tried to camp out in the backyard, but it started pouring the second they got their sleeping bags set up on the lawn. Laura let her borrow a pair of clothes and Mr. Hollis made them hot chocolate and they camped out in the living room instead in a blanket fort and watched all of the Jurassic Park movies in a row because, according to Laura, 'they're way better when it's storming'.
Carmilla quickly grabbed the pile of her clothes and silently closed the dresser drawer, pushing the memory out of her thoughts. She quietly walked back over to the end of the bed and grabbed the covers, pulling them up and over Laura's shoulders. Carmilla bent down and pressed a kiss to Laura's forehead, lingering for just a second too long before grabbing her shoes from the floor in front of the bedside table and turned for the bedroom door. She heard Laura start to move in the bed behind her and she froze, her hand hovering over the doorknob. Carmilla turned around, silently praying to herself that Laura was still asleep because she couldn't risk looking into those golden brown orbs, it would make walking away even more difficult, but found that Laura had simply rolled over to the other side of the bed, her face now hidden in shadow, but the even rise and fall of her chest told Carmilla that she was still sleeping, giving her the opportunity to slip out of Laura's bedroom before she actually did wake up.
"Where do you think you're going?"
Carmilla spun around, startled at the sudden break in the silence. It was Noah. He was standing down the hall in front of the bathroom next to his bedroom. Carmilla didn't know what to tell him. Her feet were frozen in the spot on the carpet in front of Laura's open bedroom door. She just stared at him, her eyes wide and her clothes and shoes held closely to her chest. Carmilla could feel her heart beating wildly in her chest and she wouldn't doubt that Noah heard it too, even from the other end of the hall. Noah raised his eyebrows at her, before eyeing the clothes tucked against her chest and nodding his head. Tears started to form at the corners of Carmilla's eyes, she could see the disappointment and hurt on his face as he realized what she was doing.
"Why?"
Carmilla shook her head and stared at the ground, away from Noah's judging eyes, Laura's eyes.
"I-Noah…"
She was panicking. He didn't make any move to go back to his room, he just stood there, waiting for her to explain herself, but she didn't know how. She didn't know how to say ' I'm leaving ' without making it sound like a crime punishable by the electric chair.
"I don't know what you want me to say-"
"How about you start by telling me why you're leaving. Just answer me that. Why?"
Carmilla watched as Noah leaned against the doorframe of the bathroom, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Noah, I can't- You wouldn't understand...I'm not trying to hurt her, I just- She doesn't deserve this. She deserves so much more that I can't give her- She doesn't need this burden- This- Me."
More tears started to fall down Carmilla's cheeks, but she quickly wiped them away before looking Noah in the eyes. He had her eyes. Laura's eyes. She remembered the way Laura looked at her just a few hours ago and looked back down at her feet before she turned to the stairs.
"Carmilla, wait."
Carmilla could hear Noah's footsteps, on the soft carpet, walking toward her down the hallway. He was almost on her heels.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, not bothering to look back before walking down the stairs and into the foyer. She stopped at the front door when she heard Noah quietly call her name from where he stood at the top of the stairs, but no , she couldn't go back now.
Carmilla stepped out into the familiar cold of the night and hugged her arms around her chest, cursing herself for not slipping into a sweatshirt before she left her house. She took a deep breath and briskly walked down the porch steps, down the sidewalk to the driveway and onto the deserted street.
"You can't do this to her, Carmilla!"
She stopped abruptly and turned around at the sound of Noah's voice, he was standing in the frame of the front door, in a white t shirt and boxer shorts, his hand still on the doorknob.
"I'm doing this for her, Noah." Carmilla managed to yell back, her voice cracking before she turned back around and continuing her long walk under the streetlights. Noah didn't try to stop her again.
Carmilla pulled her phone from her pocket and clicked the screen on.
6:02am.
Laura's alarm would go off in 28 minutes for their 8am photography class that Laura made Carmilla take with her and Carmilla wouldn't be there. She wouldn't be there when Laura rolled over in bed when her alarm went off. Carmilla wouldn't be there when Laura checked the bathroom, she wouldn't be there when Laura walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. She wouldn't be in class, sitting next to Laura in the very last row, next to the dark room.
When Laura would check her phone, there wouldn't be any messages on her explaining why Carmilla left. There wouldn't be any voicemails or apologies.
Carmilla held the lock button down on her phone and swiped across the top of the screen, shutting the power off just as more tears started to fall down her cheeks as if the floodgates of the Hoover Dam suddenly cracked and the backup systems failed.