Author's note: I was watching certain parts of season 4 in which Castiel or Anna appear and a feeling of nostalgia hit me... I remembered all the first impressions I got regarding the interaction of these characters and also about the whole show (I discovered Supernatural series a year ago, during the reruns and season 4 was my initial experience). "On the Head of a Pin" was the first episode I watched with them.

The following work reflects Castiel's point of view. There are also inserted reference themes from my previous, related story To offer. Chronologically set before the closure of episode "Heaven and Hell", 4x10.

The poem is dedicated to these two beautiful characters who smoothly managed to seize my admiration.

Revenant

I had hoped to talk to you again
to resolve the rift
to seek and create a new, friendly bridge
While the sun was warming my face
While I was so away from home
our memories were there, to embrace me
Now they feel so painful,
gripping me tightly
trapping my conscience
into sharp, wistful emotions I never felt before...

My strength is solid
My faith and good will, fiery
How can I let you go?
I cared, I still do
You are important to my heart, to my existence
I promised I would guard you
Remind you of the route of light, the one you used to know so well.

I secretly whisper, " Don't be afraid",
sometimes to myself
sometimes to the air, when my thoughts gather to you
Prayers have become my assuasive song;
The comfort to my tears,
my hopes to a scary dead end
And each phrase is spoken for you
intending to reach you when the tip of my wings, their softer outer side
cannot touch you or pass by your tired shoulders smoothly
just to let you know I am here...

You once said you don't need Him
That you can live your life you dreamt, without Him
You, an unruly heart of a rebellious, yet kind, child
I understood, though I never agreed
The others however, won't grant a second chance
To them, your voice doesn't matter, it won't
Sooner or later
with possible injustice and mercilessness
our kind will try to put an end
to your story and to my efforts so far.

With borrowed strength from Heaven
With a pulsating soul and an ardent resolution
I wrestle with the shadows drawing near
Then I need to say this, but you probably won't believe;
Anna, I have watched over you for years
saw you growing in your second home
like a wild flower in a dense forest
You outdid my expectations
I have been proud, happy, you gave me my heart
Now the superiors ask I should petrify it and forget
I constantly try not to,
even if I have to bleed, to crawl, to lose my breathing.

Each day, I implore God to let me keep you safe
to stay beside you, relishing your companionship
like a partner who becomes whole,
by acknowledging and loving the other, fitting half;
That's what you are to me.

The hours are ominous
The darkness stripped of promises and assertions
I now seek the answers I still don't have
I fight enemies I realise I hadn't measured so well
When I am afraid, I remember what you taught me
To have a clear perception, steady thinking and a calm heart
All necessary to make good decisions,
choices that I won't regret.

I do my best
though it hurts to be aware
it might not be enough, that it won't suffice
Anna, what I hold precious doesn't change
even if they kill me...
I shall keep you under my wing
for as long as I can
never asking anything in return.

You said that you loved me
That statement is true
Your love is not alone,
for I feel the same, wish for the same
Our lives are bound,
in any shape that we take
in any bright world in which we awake.

Watch, my love
how the sun is caressing heavenly and earthly colours
The full moon smiling in the darkest night
or the vast ocean becoming quiet after a vicious storm
And during our worst moments, let us hope, both you and me, together
that our dreams, our peace, the love we always had
won't be lost eternally.

XxX

15/9/2010

Thank you for reading! Comments are appreciated.