Why did you give up? It ain't fair. You were a good kid; you were too young for this. I warned you, Johnny, don't get yourself caught up in this. Don't get caught up in the gang life. Make a better life for yourself. I didn't mean give up, I didn't mean leave us all behind.
That hospital room closed in on me. Johnny don't die. Don't die. I watched you breathe your last breath, watched you move into silence, watched you slip before my eyes and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it. You died a hero, Johnny, but to me you died a coward.
When things get tough you tough them out. I thought you knew that. I thought you of all people would know that, better than anyone. You took the easy road out. Instead of pushing and fighting and living you gave up and you died. Johnny Cade, I don't get how you could leave us all behind.
That ain't how you make a better life for yourself.
But don't worry, things will be better soon. I will be with you again.
The feeling of the wall against my fist made me feel sure. I couldn't live without you in my life, I refused to. You were like my little brother, Johnny, and I will not continue fighting when I have nothing left to fight for.
It was easy to get the gun, easy to run from the cops. They didn't know or understand. They just saw me as a greaser. I wasn't shit to them. A punk. A gangster. A thug.
The street lamp made it dramatic, they could see me, I could see them. They wouldn't hesitate.
I pulled the gun out and pointed it straight at them. The sound of guns firing was the music I needed to hear. The bullets hitting my body felt like bee stings and as my body crumbled to the ground I smiled. It was good. I would see you again soon.
Johnny Cade.
I missed you.