Til Death Do Us Part

by Ritz-sxe

Story I originally wrote in 2005, when I was 13. Just want a place to save it. Bam Margera, then Ville Valo story.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh!" I shouted as I tried to attempt an Impossible and flew off the half-pipe, yet again. I landed hard on my knees and skidded a slow distance across the hot, rough pavement. Wincing, I bit my bottom lip and stood up to observe the damage. My shins and knees were completely torn up and bloody. I wiped my forehead with my shirt.

"Ritt, you okay?" my skateboarding sponsor, Tim Johnson, asked. He ran over to me with a first aid kit. I nodded as I took a drink from my water bottle. He poured rubbing alcohol all over my scrapes and wrapped the bottom of my legs in gauze and medical tape. "We don't want you to fuck up at the Element demo tomorrow. If you're lucky, we can get you on the team." I rolled my eyes.

"Jeez, Tim, thanks for having so much faith in me," I said sarcastically.

"I should get on the team. I've been skating for nearly eleven years and I can't do an Impossible!"

"Relax, Relta! You're only twenty-two!" Tim told me. I shrugged.

Bam's P.O.V.:

"Sexy has a name!" Brandon Novak exclaimed.

"Really?" Chris Raab asked.

"Yeah. Sexy's name is hot skater chick that I'm staring at from across this haggard-ass skate park," Novak said. I rolled my eyes. Novak, Raab, Rake Yohn, Ryan Dunn, and Brandon DiCamillo were fighting over a pair of binoculars, through which they were staring at a young female skater out the window of my candy-apple red hummer H2.

"Too bad she's not wearing a white t-shirt," Novak said hungrily as the skater gave up on drinking. She decided to just pour the rest of the contents of her ice-cold water bottle over her bottle.

"Novak, you just met the chick. How can you tell if you're ready to get into her pants or not?" I asked Novak.

"I can tell," he re plied.

"What if she had genital warts or herpes or something?" Rake questioned the possibility.

"She'd be worth it," Novak said. I rolled my eyes again. I watched the skater pull her shoulder-length, slightly wavy, dark brown hair back into a messy ponytail. We should come to Baldwinsville more often, I thought. Too bad were only here for two days. The six of us had driven up to small-town Baldwinsville, New York for a demo at a miserable excuse for a skate park, which was really a parking lot spiced up with some stairs, some rails, a couple half-pipes, and a box.

The skater saw the binoculars and began to walk across the ghetto skate park towards my hummer.

"Guys! Quick! Hide the binoculars!" I hissed.

"Uh, can I help you guys?" the skater asked, an eyebrow arched in question.

"Yes. You see, I lost my number. Can I have yours?" Raab asked with the corniest pickup line ever.

"Your rack is awesome!" Novak thought aloud. The skater rolled her eyes.

"You're retarded," she replied, walking away.

"Keep walking'! You'll give in sooner or later, skater!" Dunn called after her. She stopped and turned around.

"My name isn't skater! It's 'Ritt'!" the skater shouted.

"See you at the demo tomorrow, Ritt!" I yelled to her.

Normal P.O.V.:

"So, how'd you sleep last night?" Tim asked me. I yawned.

"Not too good. Only got, like, three hours," I answered as I sipped on my fifth cup of coffee. I barely slept at all the previous night. See you at the demo tomorrow, Ritt! echoed through my head all night. Did he want to know me? I thought.

"You 'member the routine, right?" Tim questioned. I nodded.

"Nose manual, ollie, manual, melon, indy, impossible," I recited.

"Good, 'cuz it's your turn to skate!" Tim exclaimed. I pushed off, shifting my weight so I slowly moved forward, balancing on my front wheels. Jumping into the air, I landed so I was balancing on my back wheels.

After I did the melon and indy, I went back up the half pipe to do an impossible. I did the trick wrong, causing the board to fly straight up into the air. I landed roughly on the pavement.

Groaning, I looked up to see the board coming back down. It nailed me in the shin with such impact, a large gash appeared on my shin. My leg felt as if it were on fire and it slowly began to ooze blood. I held my leg and sucked in air through clenched teeth.

"Oooooo," the crowd grimaced. Someone bent down beside me and I looked up.

"You okay?" Bam Margera, the king of rock 'n' roll, asked me. Biting my bottom lip, I tried to stand up. I fell over and shook my head, tears coming to my eyes because of the overwhelming pain. Bam picked me up and carried me over to a bench. "Can we get an icepack here?"

"Thanks," I told Bam. He was handed an icepack, which he pressed on the gushing slash. The cold numbed the pain and the slice soon stopped bleeding.

"No problem." Bam smiled at me, but I didn't smile back. "So, uh...where ya headed?"

"Oh, Pennsylvania, Jersey, somewhere around there. Won't let people see my sorry ass again," I sighed.

"Oh, ouch. Trying to keep up a reputation?" Bam asked. I nodded.

"I'm gonna go to a bar and get so drunk that I can't even stand so I can't remember this wreck," I said.

"I hear ya. Do you need a drinking partner?"

"I'm sure one wouldn't hurt," I replied.

Bam's P.O.V.:

"Novak, touch her and I'll break your neck," I warned Novak. My plan had worked out perfectly. Ritt had gotten drunk at the bar and passed out. She was now unconscious in the trunk of my hummer. While she was out, I had raided her wallet to find out more about her. According to her cell phone (we had checked her messages), she lived in a tiny one-bedroom apartment and was four months behind on the rent. We had gone to the apartment but since Ritt had nothing of value there except for a cardboard box full of possessions, we had decided to leave everything else.

"How can I not touch her?" Novak asked.

"Just don't touch her, asshole!" I hissed, dialing my home phone.

"Hello?" my girlfriend, Jenn Rivell, greeted.

"Hey, Jenn, can you clean out my second room?" I asked.

"Bam, sure I can, tomorrow. It's ten o' clock at night! When are ya coming home?"

"I'll be home in about an hour," I told her as I hung up.

***

"Oh my god! Bam, who's that?" April asked me.

"Ritt Relta. We met her at the skate park a couple days ago," Novak answered.

"So you bring a skate rat with you to Pennsylvania?!" Jenn questioned as I laid Ritt down on the couch. I nodded.

"Look, she's only a kid and she's broke and, as far as I know, her life sucks pretty badly. I just wanna give her a shot at a better life," I said.

"Well, she's a tiny thing," Ape relied, looking her over. "How much do you know about her?" Dunn tossed Ritt's wallet to Ape and Ape began to read Ritt's driver's license.

"I tell ya, Bam, it seems like you bring home a new person every month," Phil sighed.

Normal P.O.V.:

"Oh, my head," I groaned. I woke up on a couch in a living room I couldn't recognize.

"Well, you're up." I looked up. A middle-aged blond woman stood a few feet away from me, holding a laundry basket full of clean clothes. "I'm April, Bam's mom. Your room's upstairs, second door on the right." The contents of my stomach churned and pain seized my head. April sat down beside me and began to fold the clean clothes. "Feel free to help yourself to some breakfast." I stood up and walked into the kitchen and poured myself a cup of coffee. I heard the front door open and some talking. Bam and his crew walked into the kitchen, causing me to look up.

"Hey, good lookin'," Novak said. Raab, Rake, DiCo, and Novak, who I had been introduced to the night before, surrounded me, as if I was going to run away.

"Can I go back to my normal life and back to living in my shitty-ass apartment?" I asked.

"No can do, honey; it's easier for Element to locate you when you live with Bam," Novak said.

"Why would Element want to locate me?" I asked.

"Duh, you skate for Element now," Dunn replied. I did a double-take.

"You serious?" I questioned. Bam nodded. "Sweet!"

"Lemme show you your new living quarters," Bam said, marching up the stairs. His crew followed him and, hesitantly, I followed, too. Bam stopped in front of a closed door, his hand gripping the doorknob.

"Ritt, this is your room," he said, pushing the door open. He walked inside and I followed him. When I entered the room, my jaw dropped.

"Didn't know your favorite color, so we painted the walls blue. You looked like a blue-person," Bam told me. The walls were a sky blue and were near completely covered with HIM posters. A brand new laptop lay open on a new pine desk, pushed up against a wall beneath the room's only window. A full-sized bed was pushed up against the closest wall to the door, a small table beside it on which a digital alarm clock was placed. On a tall dresser was a television set and taking up the rest of the desk's surface was a huge, powerful stereo. I dove onto my new bed, jumping up and down on it like a child. Bam beamed.

"So, whadaya think?" he asked, leaning up against the door.
"I think it's kick ass!" I exclaimed.

"Great! Well, c'mon 'Emo-Kid', we're going to the mall to update your wardrobe."

Bam's P.O.V.:

I couldn't forget Ritt's face when I had shown her her new room earlier that day. She had come so close to smiling that it wasn't even funny. She was definitely emo. She hadn't smiled at all during the few days I'd known her.

The emo look made her attractive, but her eyes. Whoa. I was a sucker for her eyes. They changed all shades of blue and the heavy eyeliner she wore really brought out the color. The pathetic thing was A: I already had Jenn as a girlfriend, and B: I had only known Ritt for about three days.

"Hey, Bam, you okay?" Jenn asked. Jenn's voice made me snap back to reality and jump slightly.

"What? Oh, yeah," I answered.

"So, where's your new friend?" Jenn asked.

"She's asleep," I replied, yawning. I went upstairs, walking into my room, and, without looking around, crawled beneath the covers of my bed. It was at that moment that I realized someone else was in the bed. And my bed was NOT that small. I abruptly got out of the bed and turned a lamp on. An unconscious Ritt was softly snoring in the middle of the bed. She looked strange without makeup on. She was wearing a black tank top and baggy flannel pajama bottoms. It was as if I was seeing Ritt naked because she was without makeup or her usual dark clothing. I was now staring at Ritt's inner personality. The depressed, lost little girl image was just a hard outer shell, covering up sensitive emotions. I caught myself smiling at Ritt. She's kinda cute, I thought.

"I wanna know you more," I whispered, silently walking over to her closet. I opened the closet door and pulled out her cardboard box of valuables. The box was mainly filled with CDs, most of which I would normally listen to, but at the way bottom of the box, I pulled out a scrapbook that looked like it was made especially for Ritt.

I opened up the shiny, laminated cover. On the first page it read: 'Made for Brittany Relta, with love, from Stephan Merchant'.

"Who the hell is Stephan Merchant?" I asked. I sat down, leaning against the wall with the scrapbook in my lap. I turned the page. In the center was a picture of a tiny baby, about a year old, at Christmas time. The child had soft blue eyes, thick dark hair, and a bright Christmas bow on her head. It was Ritt. The next few pages included pictures oh her from the time she was two, until the time she was sixteen.

When Ritt was sixteen, she was some sort of optimistic girl who was all about looking cool and having fun. Now, she was an Emo-Goth who couldn't care less if she even woke up the next morning. The dark image was DEFINITELY covering something up.
I was so tired, I got a headache. When I wanted to continue reading, I found myself reading the same sentence over and over. Finally, I gave up so I put the scrapbook back in its place and the left the room.

Normal P.O.V. My Dream:

I was standing on a winding cliff with Stephan. He was on the edge and I was smiling as he bent down on one knee. I heard a crumbling noise as the edge of the cliff gave way, bringing Stephan with it. I dove and grabbed his hands.

"Steph, hang on!" I screamed.

"Ritt, let go. Everything will be alright," Stephan told me, calmly, trying to assure me. Tears poured out of my eyes.

"No! No it won't!" I sobbed in anger.

"Ritt, calm down. I love you," he answered, being the optimistic person he is. His fingers slipped through mine and he fell. Stephan! Don't leave me! Stephan! Come back..." I cried.

*End of Dream*

I woke up, covered with cold sweat. I gasped for air. Slowly, I sat up and looked over at the digital clock on my bedside table. It was ten-thirty in the morning. Quickly, I got up and ran to the bathroom. Turning on the faucet, I splashed cold water on my face. I felt like crying.

Five minutes after, I returned to my room, closed the door, got dressed, and turned on my stereo, playing music so that no one could hear me cry...

Bam's P.O.V.:

"Any of you guys seen Ritt today?" I asked.

"No," everyone replied.

"I think she's up in her room, though," Jenn answered.

"Well, bitches, let's go see what she's doing," I said to DiCo, Dunn, Raab, Rake, and Novak. I walked upstairs and the five followed. We stopped in front of Ritt's bedroom door. DiCo put his ear up against the door. I did the same. We could hear the faint sound of music playing and Ritt was singing along.

"Well, what's she doing?" Novak asked.

"She's singing and she ain't that bad," DiCo said, our ears still up against the door.

"What's she singing?" Raab questioned.

"Again the burden of losing rests upon my shoulders, and the weight seems unbearable. Your tomb is where your heart is I should have told her, but within me hid a secret so terrible," Ritt sang.

"Buried Alive By Love," DiCo said.

"To cry is to know that you're alive, but my river of tears has run dry. I never wanted to fool you, no, but a cold heart is a dead heart, and it feels like I've been buried alive by love."

"Oh, yeah. That's 'Buried Alive By Love'," I confirmed. "Do you idiots not realize what Emo-Kid is singing about?"

They all shook their heads.

"She's singing about love. She just wants to be loved and that's why she's so unhappy!"

"I could love her. I could love her very easily," Novak grinned.

"I said 'love'', not 'lust'," I replied.

"Maybe we should hook her up Wille Walo?" Raab suggested. "I mean, isn't he having problems with his girlfriend?"

"Yeah. That's a good idea," I told Raab. My head told me it was the best idea since sliced-bread, but a pain in my heart told me otherwise...

(Still Bam's P.O.V.)

"So, when's Ville gonna be here?" Ape asked.

"I just had Raab, Dunn, and DiCo go pick him up from the airport," I said.

"And Ville's staying why?" Jenn questioned.

"'Cuz we're gonna try to hook him n' Ritt up. After all, it is Emo-Kid's birthday and she deserves to be happy. I know, aren't I nice?" I grinned. Today was July 24th, 2003, Ritt's twenty-third birthday.

"Just because you're helping one of your friends doesn't mean you should act like you got nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize," Jenn said.

"Yes, but I guess Emo-Kid, I mean, Ritt does deserve to be happy on her birthday. She's been here for almost two weeks and I've never seen her so much as laugh or smile," Ape said as she began to make lunch.

***

"So, dearest Bammi, tell me. What is this girl like?" my friend, Ville Valo, asked me. Ville, Dunn, Raab, DiCo, Rake, Novak, and I were sitting in the living room.

"Well, she's really, uhm..." I began.

"Quiet. And depressed. She's a hot little emo chick," Novak finished.

"You would like her if she were happier. But that's why you're here, to cheer her up. She's funny, but never has fun," DiCo said.

"Anything else I need to know about this girl?" Ville asked.

"She idolizes you and the rest of the band," I replied. "She skates...erm, she's somewhat of an alcoholic, and do NOT give her a razor blade. She's a cutter."

"Shhhhh! Here she comes!" Rake hissed.

***

Ville's P.O.V.:

I looked up to see the girl Bam was attempting to hook me up with. Her eyes were in the shape of a cat's and were a piercing icy blue. They stayed on me.

"Emo-Kid! What the fuck did you do to your hair?!" Bam asked. Her eyes fell onto Bam.

"It was getting old, okay? It looks better this way," the girl insisted. She looked back at me. Her hair was chin-length and was shaggy, like a surfer's. It was dyed black and had dark maroon-pinkish streaks. Her bangs covered one icy blue eye and she didn't bother to brush it away.

Her makeup was dark. Her eyeliner was heavy and her eyeshadow, black. It made her eyes stand out completely, like small pools of light in a black forest. Beyond the makeup, I saw a pretty face. She had a narrow face, naturally long eyelashes, and full lips. Her skin was a very pale tan.

She gave me a small smile, showing normal canine teeth. If I had not seen that her teeth were ordinary, I would've assumed she was a vampire.

She was wearing tight jeans, which were frayed at the bottom. The front of her black leather jacket was unbuttoned, revealing a black t-shirt that said 'I see dumb people' in red print. She was wearing black fingerless gloves, unveiling short fingernails that were painted a matching black. She held out her hand to me.

"Ritt Relta," she greeted. I shook her hand and looked deep into her eyes.

"Ville Valo," I smiled. Her face turned a lush shade of fuchsia. She looked down at her black and white Converse.

"Aw, Ville. She thinks you're purty," DiCo laughed. Ritt glared at him. Then, the emo-angel sat across from me, still blushing.

***

Normal P.O.V.:

"So, where's Ville sleeping?" I asked.

"In your room," Dunn told me. My jaw dropped.

"What's wrong with one of the guest rooms?" I stuttered.

"Didn't your parents teach you how to share?" DiCo asked.

"Yeah, but not to share my bed with a rock star I JUST met! And plus, it's only a freakin' full-sized bed!" I yelled.

"It's not like either of you have anything to hide. Ville likes getting close to new friends. He's only staying for two weeks," Raab stated.

"T-two weeks!?" I shouted. The guys nodded. I held my head in my hands.

"Brittany Ann Relta," DiCo said from behind me. I turned around. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" He squished a giant chocolate cake in my face. The guys laughed as I wiped frosting from my eyes. I glared at them as I scraped some of the cake off the floor and threw it at Bam. Bam scraped some of his face and threw it at a laughing Dunn. Soon, the six of us were cracking up and throwing cake everywhere.

"What's going on-AHHH!" Ville shouted as I threw some cake at Raab. Raab ducked and Ville was hit in the face as he walked into the kitchen. He wiped the cake out of his eyes, but the rest of his face was covered in frosting. Smiling nervously, I dipped my finger into the frosting and licked it off the tip of my finger.

"This frosting is really good. You should try some," I told him. He rolled his eyes and smiled. Then, April walked into the kitchen.

"Hey, guys, and girl," she greeted, taking only a brief look around. The sight made her do a double-take. "Are you kidding me? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" We all looked at each other and ran out of the kitchen. We heard her groan and we all walked into the bathroom to clean ourselves up.

"Well, guess I'll go to bed," I yawned.

"Wait! I have one more birthday present for you!" Bam exclaimed as he pulled me with him. "Close your eyes." I heard the front door open as we walked outside.

"You can open your eyes now," DiCo told me after we had walked a couple feet. I opened my eyes. Parked in front of me was my black Hummer H2.

"Holy hell! How'd you guys get my hummer from B'ville to West Chester?" I asked, jumping up and down in elation.

"Glomb helped," Bam said. I jumped in the driver's seat and the seven guys filled up the rest of the seats. The observed my hummer.

"You pimped out a hummer? You're supposed to completely DESTROY hummers!" Bam told me.

"So, where to?" I questioned.

"How 'bout the bar?" Raab suggested.

"We need some music," Dunn said as he reached between the seats, turning on the radio.

"We're all stars now, in the dope show. We're all stars now, in the dope show!" Marilyn Manson blasted so loud, my skull rattled.

"Jeez, got it loud enough?" Rake asked as I turned it down. I shook my head. After pulling into the parking lot of a local bar, we all jumped out of my hummer.

"Can I have some ID?" the bouncer at the door asked me. Reaching into my back pocket, I pulled out my driver's license and handed it to him. He read it. "Go on in."

The guys and I stepped through the doors of the bar. A group of girls were sitting in a booth by the door. They took one look at me and began to whisper.

"Cough cough-SLUTS!-cough cough," I said as we walked by. The girls glared at me.

Ville's P.O.V.:

"Sweetheart, I think eight brewskis are enough," I told Brittany.

"Whadaya mean? I'm juss gettin' started," she slurred.

"You got started when you walked in the door," Bam told her. "Don't drink any more. I don't want to take you to the hospital when you get alcohol poisoning."

"Whachusmokin'? I'm fine, reallee," she replied.

"It's gettin' hot in here, so take off all your clothes," the radio played. Bam and I looked at each other and then at Brittany.

"I love thissong," she said, shakily standing up on the table and beginning to dance.

"Oh, god," Bam groaned.

One of the girls whom Brittany had earlier insulted approached our table.

"Tch, we're the sluts?!" the girl asked. "Take a look at yourself."

"Ya, well, if I'ma slut, then you'rea dirty whore," Brittany said, still dancing.

"You're such a bitch!" the girl screamed. Brittany lunged at her, diving off the table. The two wrestled on the ground. Brittany easily pinned the other girl and began to punch her. Bam, the crew, Novak, and I just cheered Brittany on.

***

Normal P.O.V.:

"Alright, ladies, let's break it up!" a bouncer roared as he picked the other girl and me up and took us outside. The fight continued outside, causing the bouncer to call the police.

Half an hour later, the West Chester police were asking me to take a Field-sobriety test. I had to lift one foot six inches off the ground and count to thirty.

"One, two, uh…four, five, whoa!" I counted. I fell flat on my face. One of several cops handcuffed my hands behind my back. I sat on my knees while the cops called in for my arrest record.

"There'ssome fantastic newsss," I said sarcastically.

"Don't worry, love. We'll bail you out of jail," Ville assured me. He, Bam, Novak, and the crew were standing behind me, leaning on my hummer.

"Ma'am, are you aware that you are drunk in public?" a cop asked me.

"Yeah, but I wanted to be drunk in a bar. That idiot-" I pointed at the bouncer. "THREW me into this parking lot. I don't wanna be drunk in a parking lot; being drunk in a bar is fine with me. And it's legal." I was still pointing at the bouncer. "Arrest that man."

Turned out I had been arrested three times: once for vandalism, and two drunk in public charges. This time, I wasn't getting entirely arrested, but I was being charged a small fee for beating up that chick. And the bouncer was free to go.
***

Fast Forward to the Next Morning:

Bright light peered through the blinds of my bedroom window, shining on my face. I screwed up my face in pain and buried my head in my pillow. I'm in freaking hell, I thought. I had a major hangover and my head felt as if it were going to split in two.
Ignoring the pain, I felt Ville's hand resting on my thigh. He had moved closer during the night, which wasn't difficult considering the size of the bad we had to share. I smiled. It felt good to be loved again.

Taking Ville's hand off of my thigh, to my disliking, I rolled out of bed.

"Pants, pants, where for art thou, pants?" I thought aloud. I looked under my bed, pulling out a pair of TRIPP pants.

Pushing my hair behind my ears, I slipped off my shirt and bra.

"You're beautiful, sweetheart," Ville said from behind me. He placed a cold hand on my bare shoulder, causing me to shiver. I crossed my arms in front of my chest, covering myself up. "Sorry for invading your privacy."

Ville walked out of the room, closing the door behind himself.

"Anytime..."I answered, putting on a bra.

***

"So, what do ya think of Wille Walo?" Bam asked me.

"He's okay," I sighed.

"Are ya sure he's just 'okay'?" Novak asked.

"Yeah, he's the only one we know that can make you smile," Dunn said.

"Fine. He's more than just 'okay'. He's...perfect," I mumbled.

"Then, why don't you two just stop flirting and get down and dirty?" Novak questioned.

"'Cuz true relationships take a while to form," I replied. "And 'a while' is longer than two weeks. If I were to hook up with Ville, I would need more time to get to know him."

"Well, you might wanna make a move before Valo leaves," DiCo explained.

"You KNOW ya wanna get into the guy's pants," Raab said.

"Yeah, but I'm not sure he wants to get into mine," I answered, without thinking. About thirty seconds later, I clamped my hand over my mouth, realized what I had said. "I did not just say that!" The guys laughed.

"Okay. Exactly how does he make you feel when he's around you?" Bam asked.

"Just...great. A little uneasy, but other than that, I feel like a million bucks. I'm in love."

"We're going to NYC! Emo-Kid! Get your shit packed!" Bam shouted.

"Okay?!" I said, going up to my room and packing a duffel bag. I shouldered the bag and returned downstairs in five minutes tops.

"Where do I sit?" I asked fifteen minutes later. Dunn, April, Bam, Raab, and Rake filled up all the seats.

"You and Ville get to sit in the trunk," Dunn answered.

"Wow. You people are the nicest people I've ever known," I sighed as I joined Ville and the luggage in the trunk.

***

"Ma'am, please remove all jewelry," a security guard told me. Groaning, I took out all nine 'external' piercings, unfastened my black grommet belt, and slipped off a sterling silver chain necklace. I stepped through the metal detector, setting off the alarm. A female guard patter me down, searching for knives, bombs, anything that would set off a metal detector. Finding nothing, I remembered my tongue piercing. I took it out, stepped through the metal detector again, and was free to go when the alarm didn't go off a second time.

"That was quite an episode," I said, slipping my piercings back in. "Didn't wake up this morning knowing I'd be felt up by airport security.

***

Ville's P.O.V.:

Brittany was shaking nervously as she looked out the plane's window. Her knuckles were white as she clung to the arm rest for dear life. I placed my hand on hers reassuringly. Brittany looked down at my hand and looked up at me with a nervous smile. Her face had a sickly greenish tint.

"Never been on a plane before. And I think I'm going to hurl," she said.

"Don't worry, sweetheart. The hardest part is taking off," I told her. Sure enough, the 'buckle seat belts' light glowed and everyone fastened their seat belts.

When passengers were able to freely roam the plane, Brittany, who was green as ever, got up and ran to the bathroom. Bam, Dunn, Rake, Raab, and I watched her run down the aisle.

"You gonna follow her?" Bam asked. I nodded as I stood up and headed towards the bathroom.

***

Normal P.O.V.:

I was on my hands and knees, vomiting the contents of my stomach into the airplane toilet when someone softly knocked on the door.

"Sweetheart, can I come in?" Ville asked.

"Yeah," I muttered weakly as I stood up and wiped my mouth off. Ville stepped around the door and closed it behind himself.

"Are you okay?" he questioned. I nodded. "Great." Ville took out a pack of cigarettes and lit one, inhaling deeply.

"Smoking isn't good for you, ya know," I told him. He gave me a 'does-it-look-like-I-give-a-fuck?' look. "Each cigarette is supposed to take, like, nine minutes off your life, or so."

"Ritt and Valo sitting in a tree, F-U-C-K-I-N-G! First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes another Valo in the baby carriage!" Bam and Dunn teased, parading outside the bathroom. I looked at Ville.

"Can I have one of those?" I asked. He gave me a cigarette and I pulled a lighter out of my pocket, lighting the cigarette and taking a deep inhale off it.

"Not a first-timer, huh?"

"Never underestimate me, Valo," I answered, sucking on my cigarette. Someone rapped their knuckles loudly on the door.

"Is there a fire in there? Where's all the smoke coming from?!" a flight attendant asked.

"Oh, shit," I whispered. I bit down on my lip as I stubbed the fag out in my left palm. A faint sizzle could be heard as the lit cigarette burned a hole in my flesh.

"What did you do that for?! Are you insane?!" Ville hissed.

"Yes I am, now we have to get rid of the flight attendant!" I whispered back. I fake-moaned loudly.

"What the hell are you doing?" Ville asked quietly.

"Creating a diversion, now play along!" I continued to moan. "Oh, Villleee...I...need you!" When Ville refused to play along, I stepped on his foot with my three-inch heeled boots.

"Owwwww-ohhhhh," Ville said, turning his pain into a fake moan. "Do you mind?! We're a little busy right now!"

"I demand that you open this door immediately!" the attendant shouted.

"Okay, lady, hold your horses!" I yelled as Ville and I left the bathroom, returning to our seats.

"We're you two smoking in there or was there really a fire?" Dunn asked.
"Neither. It was smoke from all of the friction!" Raab laughed. Ville and I rolled our eyes.

"Sweet! We got a suite!" I exclaimed as Ville and I walked into our room. We were in a hotel in New York City. Our suite had a large bedroom, a tiny living room, and a private bathroom.

"Wow."

"It's too bright," I said, exaggerating the white walls and furniture.

"I agree." We threw our bags onto the bed.

"I don't know about you, Valo, but I'm gonna relax," I said as I sprawled out on the couch and turned on Fuse. "So, when do ya have to leave?"

"In about three days," Ville answered.

"That sucks ass." I frowned. Ville walked over to two giant glass doors and opened them. They led to a small personal marble balcony.

"Wow. This is nice," Ville thought aloud. He turned to me. "What do you think?" I rose my eyebrows.

"About you or this suite?" I asked.

"Well, both. I like to talk.

"Well, this suite kicks ass and you're a great guy."

"You don't like to talk much, do you?" Ville sat down next to me on the couch.

"Technically I do, but I didn't know if you wanted an hour long explanation." Ville nodded. "I don't wanna tell you."

"Sweetheart, I'll share my thoughts with you if you share yours with me," Ville compromised.

"Nah," I sighed. He rolled his eyes.

"Well, do you plan on going to sleep anytime soon?" he asked.

"It's only eleven. And, anyways, I'll probably end up crashing on this couch."

"No!" Ville suddenly shouted. "I-I mean, that bed is at least a queen. There's plenty of room for the both of us."

"What do you want, Valo?" I asked.

"You." My jaw dropped. Ville hit himself on the forehead. He looked at me. "Did I just say that out loud?!" I nodded. "Shit."

"Well, I ain't lookin' to screw on the ninth night, 'cuz that's a no-go, Mr. Valo," I grinned.

"You know you're looking to screw, love," Ville laughed. I turned pink.

"Fine. I am lookin' to screw. There. I admitted it. Happy?"

"Yes."

***

Ville's P.O.V.:

The two of us just sat there on the couch.

"I feel..needy. And hungry," Brittany said, breaking the silence.

She looked at me and moved closer to me on the couch. Slowly, one of my arms draped around her shoulders while the other one reached across her chest. She moved closer until her head was on my chest and my head was resting on one of her shoulders.

"You don't know how much I just want to hold you forever, sweetheart," I told her.

"And you don't know how much I just want the pain to go away."

***

Normal P.O.V.:

I looked up at Ville and he looked down at me. We smiled at each other. Our faces were mere centimeters apart and we met each other in the middle in a passionate lip lock.

One of Ville's hands caressed my cheek as the kiss deepened, while the other wandered up the back of my shirt, fumbling with the clip of my bra. He unclipped it and I slid it off before wrapping my arms around his neck.

He gently pushed me down on the couch, one hand behind my head, the other pulling his own shirt off.

I ran my fingers through Ville's long hair, smiling, as he unfastened my pants. I kicked them off and started on his. Our underwear and my t-shirt soon ended up on the floor with our pants and Ville's shirt.

Ville began kissing my neck seductively, causing me to moan. I was instantly reminded of the scene in the airport bathroom and I smiled.

Ville slid inside me and I nearly screamed.

The obnoxious blaring of car horns awoke me. Why New York City? I thought. I opened my eyes. Ville was still on top of me, his head resting on my shoulder, his hair tickling my face.

Grinning, I smacked him on the forehead.

"Hey, you awake?" I laughed.

"I am now," he yawned. A warm summer breeze entered the suite through the open doors of the balcony. They had been open all night.

"Betcha we gave the people across the street a good view. They probably saw four full moons last night," I joked.

"Never even thought of closing the doors last night," Ville said, sitting up.

"You're a man. The only things that cross your mind are beer, boobs, and naked women," I told him.

"And money. But most of the time it's booze, boobs, and babes," Ville yawned again. He sat on the edge of the couch when I realized that it was folded out into a bed.

"Whoa. When did this happen?" I thought aloud.

"Last night after you passed out."

"Rad!" I exclaimed.

"Oh, so psyched! Today's astonishing technology: the so very complex design of the couch that folds out into a bed," Ville laughed. I crawled across the folded-out couch and leaned on Ville's back.

"I love you, Valo," I whispered in his ear.

"And I you," he replied, lighting a cigarette. I reached over Ville's shoulder, plucking the cigarette from between his lips and sticking it in my own mouth.

"Mine!"

***

Fast Forward Two Days:

I can't believe he's actually leaving, I thought as we drove to the airport. Ville, Dunn, Rake, and I were in the backseats and Raab was up front with Bam. I looked out my window, a giant frown across my face. Ville placed his hand on my knee and squeezed gently and reassuringly. This caused me to look at him. He smiled and I gave him a small smile in reply before going back to staring out the window.

"Thanks for the live porn the other night," Raab said. Our jaws dropped.

"You were watching, pervert? I'm gonna sue," I said.

"Yeah, we were your neighbors directly across from your suite," Rake told us.

"We saw four full moons," Dunn laughed.

"We should've closed those doors," I told Ville.

"Well, we're here," Bam said, pulling into the airport parking lot and parking the rental car. We all got out and entered the airport.

An hour later, after everything was searched, Ville was waiting to board his plane.

"Flight 226 to Helsinki," a woman said over the intercom. Ville gave me a saddened look before hugging me.

"Goodbye, Valo," I whispered, trying not to cry. In a two week period, Ville had grown to know me more than any friend I had had for a long time. A single silver tear ran down my cheek. With his thumb, Ville wiped it away. He cupped my chin in his hand, lifted my head up, and kissed my sweetly.

"We'll keep in touch, I swear, sweetheart," he whispered in my ear.

"OK, OK, break it up. You'll see each other again. Don't have to go at it like rabbits or anything," Dunn said. Ville gave me one last smile before turning on his heels and going to board his plane...

***

Fast Forward to Mid March 2005:

"How're we gonna get back at Ape?" Bam asked his crew. I was sitting in the couch, scribbling in my notebook as Bam, Dunn, Rake, Raab, DiCo, and Novak entered the living room.

"I can't believe Ape took the lambo to work. Ape makes driving a lambo look ghetto," Dunn said.

"Emo-Kid! Think of a plan! You're the smart one here!" Bam told me. I snapped out of my daydream and into reality.

"Really? What about Rake and DiCo? They're smart, too!" I sighed.

"But you're a girl," Bam said stupidly. I arched an eyebrow in question.

"Fine. You want my advice?" Bam nodded. "Go jump off a bridge and leave me to write in peace."

"I'm serious!" Bam whined.

"So am I!" I laughed. Bam frowned. "Fine, Bam-Bam. I'll be serious. I don't know...makeover the PT Loser again or something! I'm trying to write a song," I said. My career had gone far in two years. I 'retired' as a skateboarder and now I was the leader, front woman, and vocals of a rock band called 'Dreadful Illusions'. My best friend, Kaitlyn Pickard, was the drums, Dan Putnam was a guitar player and so was Jeff Strong. Jared Iverson played the keyboards while Matt Drain kicked some ass on the bass. I had known all five since the first grade and we've been friends ever since. Of course, the band had been resurrected from memories, first created around 1992.

Standing up, I started towards my room.

"Where ya going?" Raab asked.

"My room. Do you approve?" I hissed.

"Now is a time to fuck up Ape's life, not hide in your room," Bam said.

"Leave me alone, Bam," I groaned.

"Looks like it's someone's time of the month," DiCo teased.

"You're a hilari-ASS," I replied, walking into my room. My room was a small room with blood-red walls that were covered with band posters. My laptop lay closed on my desk in a corner of the room. The sky blue comforter of my California-king sized bed was very untidy, as it was in a pile on the floor. Dirty clothes speckled the hardwood floor, serving almost as a layer of carpet. A pile of sneakers, shoes, and boots sat in a corner. My three skateboards were scattered in hazardous places around the room.

Sighing heavily, I placed my notebook next to my laptop before falling face first into my giant body pillow.

"I need my own house," I muttered.

***

DiCo, Raab, Dunn, Rake, Novak, and Bam jumped up and down on my bed, trying to get me up.

"Get out of my room, you asses!" I yelled. They continued to jump.

"Emo-Kid! Truth or dare!" they chorused. They all jumped up one last time, pulled their knees to their chests, and landed on their butts.

"Truth," I groaned.

"I truth you to pick dare!" Novak said.

"Fine, dare."

"WE DARE YOU TO FRENCH BAM!" Rake, Raab, DiCo, and Novak said in unison.

"HELL NO!" Dunn, Bam, and I shouted. Dunn and I had been dating for the past couple of weeks and Dunn was very possessive.

"I don't wanna," I whined.

"Emo-Kid is gonna chicken?" Novak and DiCo asked. "That's a first!"

"I'm not gonna chicken!" I insisted.

"Then French Bam, tard!" DiCo told me. I looked at Bam and Bam looked at me. It seemed like an eternity before I sprung onto Bam, our lips locked in a slightly passionate kiss. I felt like a million bucks as we sat there, kissing. Bam's tongue gently stroked my bottom lip and I parted my lips so our tongues could dance in my mouth. Bam and I broke apart.

"Wow. I think they enjoyed that," DiCo grinned.

"Good thing they stopped. Things were getting a little steamy there," Raab laughed.

"Oh, aren't you hilarious," I replied, rolling my eyes. I left my room and locked myself in the bathroom.

My palms were sweaty and my heart was pounding against my ribcage. Why was I like this? Was I developing a crush on Bam, one of my best friends? Sitting on the closed toilet seat, my thoughts wandered to Ville. True, he had stuck to his promise by keeping in touch, calling every few weeks, but, somehow, I wanted him to come to West Chester. I wanted him to sweep me off my feet and take me with him, where ever he went. I hadn't seen him since we dropped him off at New York City airport almost two years ago.

"No sense bringing up ancient history," I sighed, lighting a cigarette.

Closing my eyes, I recalled the passion in Ville's actions and words the warm, summer night we had made sweet love on the couch in our hotel suite. Just thinking about it made my legs turn to jello.

"I would kill just to be in the same room with the man's stains for Christ's sake," I said. There was a knock on the door.

"Ritt? You in there?" Bam asked.

"Yeah. Why?"

"Come out!"

"No. Now Dunn'll hate me and Jenn'll hate me and so will everyone else," I said.

"Do you dig me?" Bam questioned.

"Maybe I do, maybe I don't," I replied. "Do you dig me?"

"Yeah, sorta, kinda, sure."

"It's a 'yes' or 'no' question."

"Fine...yes."

"Then I dig you, too."

"Better hope Jenn doesn't find out. I'll have to break up with her," Bam said.

"Oh, can I do the honors!?" I begged. Bam laughed.

"No. I don't want you hurt. She's like, eight inches taller than you."

"Just 'cuz I'm short doesn't mean I can't kick some serious ass!" I grinned.

I put about three days' worth of clothes in my duffel bag and walked out to my hummer. Bam followed me.

"Where ya goin'?" he asked.

"Back to Syracuse until you break up with Jenn. Now give me a kiss, ya brat," I answered. His jaw dropped as he quickly pecked me on the cheek.

"I'll break up with her tonight, I swear!" he insisted.

"You probably will, but I don't want to be in the same house as Jenn when you do. She'll break my neck while I laugh I disagree off. It wouldn't be a fair fight because I'll be in the middle of a laughing fit," I told Bam. He gave me a kiss on the forehead. "See you in a couple days." I jumped in the driver's seat, started my hummer, and headed for the freeway, leaving Bam in the driveway with his mouth hanging open...

***

Bam's P.O.V. (F.F. One Day):

"Oh, god, I hate flying," I groaned, looking out my plane window. I had been on the plane for nearly an hour. It was ten thirty at night. Ritt had called me, telling me she had made it to Syracuse, a day after she left. And you know what? I hadn't slept since she had left. I was on my twelfth cup of coffee and, even though my system was buzzing with caffeine, I was tired as hell.

"God, I miss her. How did I ever sleep before?" I asked myself. I smiled. I'm such a bum. Taking a four hour flight when I could've driven five hours and saved a lot more money, I thought.

At least I would save time since I didn't bring any luggage. My plan? Go confront Ritt, sweep her off her feet, and take her home to West Chester. That shouldn't be too difficult, right?

My male ego would be redeemed, too, by walking the five miles between Syracuse's airport and the Holiday Inn Ritt was staying in. There was nothing to make this task any easier. Were there any taxi services in Syracuse? Hell no.

***

Normal P.O.V. (F.F. Three Hours):

I woke up to hear a loud tapping noise on my hotel room window. Sitting up in bed, I gazed at the window.

"Stupid rain," I grumbled as I laid back down and rolled over onto my side. Either it was hailing or someone was trying to get my attention. Rain was not in the form of tiny pebbles. Getting out of bed, I walked over to my window, opened it, and stuck my head outside. I looked down at the ground. Rain did not wear CKY t-shirts, baggy jeans, or Adios either.

Bam was standing about a story below me. Our eyes met and we smiled at each other.

"I need your room key," Bam told me.

"Wait a minute and I'll unlock the door," I replied as I dove over my hotel bed and unlocked the door.

***

"I'm so sorry!" I sobbed as I hugged Bam. A wet spot formed on his t-shirt.

"No. I shouldn't have let you leave," Bam told me.

"I - I - I love you, Bam," I replied. Wow, love was making me a wreck. I was crying because I missed Bam so badly. He rested his head on my shoulder.

"I love you, too, Ritt," Bam yawned.

"Someone's tired," I softly laughed, helping Bam over to the bed. He slid off his shirt and sunk his head into the pillow. We kissed passionately and my pajama pants slowly slid down my thigh. Bam pulled my tank top over my head and eyed the hazardous sign tattooed just below my breasts.

"That's hot," he laughed. I smiled as our lips locked in a deeper, more passionate, mind - blowing, lung - sucking, oh - baby - I - need - and - I - want - you kiss. His tongue was exploring my mouth, but Bam's hands searched the rest of my body. I felt one of his hands glide up my thigh, tracing my curves, and I quietly moaned.

"Where were you two?!" Ape shouted. "Both of you gone, no explanation, we thought something had happened!" Bam and I had just walked into Castle Bam, holding hands, and we were being bombarded with questions.

"We were only in New York," Bam replied.

"What the hell were you doing in New York?" Ape asked.

"Cough cough...FUCKIN'!...cough cough," Raab said.

"Did you two bang?" Dunn asked. Bam and I nodded sheepishly.

"Now that's Dunn, Raab, and Bam! You three are lucky! You got to bang the Emo-Kid!" Novak whined.

"Wille Walo, too. So, four people, Novak," I said, grinning.

***

In a tank top and baggy cargo shorts, I walked out to the pool.

"OH-EM-GEE! It's not melting!" DiCo joked, mocking my laziness, which seemed to partially increase over the past few days. I rolled my eyes. I shrugged. My cell phone rang. I flipped it open and held it to my ear.

"Did you order Chinese food?"

"Britt B!" my mother, Kristi, greeted.

"Oh, god," I groaned.

"You're breaking my heart, Brittany Ann," my mom said.

"So, uh...what's up? Whyja call?" I asked.

"Me n' your dad just wanted to stop by at your place," my mom answered. I covered the phone's mouthpiece with my hand.

"Bam, my parents want to stop by in the next couple of days," I said. He shrugged.

"Fine with me."

"You two can stop by, I suppose," I sighed, removing my hand from the mouthpiece.

"Okay, well, we'll see you sometime tomorrow," my mom told me.

"I don't know why you guys would want to see me. Isn't Seth the favorite child?" I asked.

"No, Seth is not the favorite! We love you, Tyler, and Seth exactly the same," my mother insisted. "And plus, Tyler is the favorite today." We both laughed.

"You're a dork," I replied. "Well, later." I hung up. Taking off my shorts to reveal a pair of Bam's swimming trunks, I did a cannonball into the pool, drenching Bam and all who were dry.

***

Bam and I heard a knock on the front door and we both ran to get it.

April, Phil, DiCo, Dunn, Novak, Rake, and Raab were already downstairs, waiting for us to open the door. Well, at least Phil and April were waiting for us to open the door; the crew was just there to see what would happen.

"Okay, you five, bar. Go there right now. You can use my tab, just leave for a few hours," Bam told his crew. The crew groaned and left.

"Bam! Get a shirt on! We're having company!" April reprimanded.

"This is my damn house!" Bam replied. I sighed and pulled the door open.

"Britt B!" my mom called out, hugging my tightly.

"Oh, god," I muttered under my breath. I introduced my parents to Phil, April, and Bam. That was when Bam and I decided to give my parental units a tour of Castle Bam. Everything was ordinary until we reached our bedroom.

"Do you and Bam sleep in the same bed?" my mom asked.

"No, he sleeps on the floor," I answered sarcastically.

"Do you two go 'BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!'?" she asked, thrusting forward. I hit myself on the forehead before clamping a hand over her mouth. She kept repeating it but her words were muffled.

"You have no filter between here-" I pointed at me temple, gesturing to my brain. "-And here." I pointed at my mouth.

"I do, too," she insisted. "It's just never 'on'."

"You need to start using it then," I told her.

"Nah. I like making an idiot of myself," she grinned.

"So I see," I mumbled.

"So that's where she gets it from," Phil thought aloud.

***

My parents stayed for dinner, too, which wasn't as bad as I had thought it would be.

Bam and I sat across from each other, one of us on either end of the dining room table. Mom and Ape sat on one long side while Dad and Phil sat on the other.

"Ritt, can you pass me a grape?" Bam asked.

"Sure!" I exclaimed, taking one off of the dish of grapes, aiming, and letting it fly across the dining room.

"Brittany Ann!" my mom scolded.

"The man wanted a grape!" I said.

"Bam, please, not when we have company! Do you have anything to say?" Ape asked.

"Yeah. Hey, Ritt, good aim!" Bam gave me a thumbs-up and we both laughed. My mother and April began whispering to each other.

"Psst, Ella! What're you talkin' about?" I whispered loudly.

"None of your concern," she said. She decided to change the subject. "Do you and Bam use protection?"

"Guns, no," I laughed.

"No, like, do you two use birth control?" my dad asked. Bam and I shook our heads before reaching for our glasses of water and beginning to drink. We had just gotten together. Did they expect us to be prepared for everything? Since when am I, of all people, responsible?

"So, then we should be expecting grandchildren soon, huh?" my mom asked. Our eyes grew wide and Bam and I spit out all of the water we had managed to inhale in the last thirty seconds. We sprayed our dinner mates, Bam soaking Phil and Ape and me soaking my own parents.

"That is so gross," Ape and my mom said in unison.

"Hey, you give us life, we give you backwash," Bam grinned.

***

"Relta!" Dunn shouted.

"Ryan!" I shouted back as Dunn, DiCo, Raab, Rake, and Novak ran over to the pool where Bam and I were lounging.

"Phone for you!" Dunn told me, holding out the phone. I grabbed it from him.

"What?" I greeted, shouting into the mouthpiece.

"Do you greet everyone that way?" Rake asked.

"Not Bam or Ville, but I would to anyone of you butt-nuggets," I replied.

"Britt B! What're ya doing?" my mother greeted.

"Oh, no! It's you! I'm fine. You don't have any grandchildren, just relax," I laughed.

"Uh, I wasn't gonna ask if I did, but anyways...me n' your dad wanna know if you and your friends want to stay with us in New York for a week or two?" my mom said.

"In New York? At your house?" I asked.

"No, in the cardboard box we rented. Duh! Of course at our house!" my mom answered.

"Uh...sure."
***

"Are you and Don Vito going to be okay alone for a week?" April asked Phil. Phil and Don Vito would be staying home at Castle Bam with Novak and Rake while Dico, Dunn, Raab, April, Bam, and I went to my parents' house.

"Emo-Kid! C'mon!" Bam said, grabbing the keys to my hummer. He started my hummer, scooted over to shotgun, and DiCo, Ape, Raab, and Dunn got in the back while I took over as driver.

"Is this gonna be a long drive?" DiCo asked.

"No. Only six or seven hours," I said sarcastically. Everyone else groaned. "Oh, you're all in the car for not even thirty seconds and already you're bitching. At least you guys get to sleep. I have to drive for seven hours straight."

***

Pulling into a long, winding driveway, Bam's face lit up. He was finally going to see my parents' house. The driveway was about half a mile long and it was surrounded by dense woods. The driveway ended to reveal a giant tan mansion. The mansion had three floors and was about twice the size of Castle Bam. (I'll spare you the long explanation I wrote out.)

"This is your parents' house?!" Bam asked. I nodded. All twenty-six acres was Relta property.

"And I inherit it all! Mwhowhowhohahaha!" I laughed as we all got out of the hummer.

"Holy hell!" Bam gaped.

"Twelve bedrooms, five bathrooms, and my room is in the basement," I answered before anyone could ask.

We walked up the porch stairs and I pushed open the great glass doors...

***

Bam's P.O.V.:

Ritt opened the front doors, which entered into a giant room. The room was designed like a grand ballroom, two elegant marble staircases, one on both the right hand and left hand-side Walls, descended from the second floor. The room was being used as a kitchen and a dining room. A beautiful glass chandelier hung from the ceiling. The kitchen had every appliance you could ever need in a kitchen. Ritt wandered over to the dark, spotless counter-top, looking at her reflection in the shiny marble. My eyes wandered over to the dining room table. It was at least thirty feet long, large enough to serve at least 25 people.

"Let's go into the living room," Ritt said. Ape, Dunn, DiCo, Raab, and I followed her.

The living room was huge. It branched off the right side of the kitchen. A humongous clean, white sectional couch (the ones that are shaped like a 90 degree angle) took up most of the living room. A sixty-two inch plasma screen TV took up half of one wall while millions of photographs and shelves of movies took up the rest of the wall space. Ritt's parents were sitting on the couch, watching 'Scary Movie 2".

"Hey, guys, and girls," Ritt's mother, Kristi, greeted. I gave her a brief wave and a small smile.

"BRITTANY ANN RELTA!" Ritt and I spun around. An old lady (I think it was a woman) shuffled across the kitchen from the other side of the house.

"Not you!" Ritt whined. "What did I do now?!"

"You just tracked mud all through the kitchen! I never would've wasted my time cleaning so early if I know you were coming back!" the old lady said in a voice that sounded like nails on a chalkboard.

"Yes, Grandmother," Ritt hissed through clenched teeth. She stomped into the kitchen and walked down the stairs into the basement, Dunn, Raab, DiCo, and I following her. Ritt's room was the largest of all twelve and took up the entire basement. Her walls were painted jet black and were nearly wallpapered with band posters (Ritt's parents preserved their children's rooms, in case they ever visited or if financial problems forced them to move in). *You can imagine the room. Yeah, Ritt's spoiled.*

I was home.

Normal P.O.V:

The vacuum cleaner loudly roared. My eyes popped open. My grandmother was vacuuming my room. I looked at the clock on my bedside table.

"What the fuck are you doing cleaning at six - thirty in the morning?!" I shouted at her. She glared at me, turned off the vacuum, and stomped up the stairs, grumbling under her breath. I felt the blankets slide off of me as Bam rolled over to the edge of the bed. He snored on like nothing happened.

"At least someone is lucky enough to sleep in this hell-hole," I sighed, sitting up. I heard someone come down the basement stairs and I looked up.

"Damian?!" I asked, my jaw dropped.

"Mom!" my nine - year old son, Damian Jedidiah (don't ask) Relta-Merchant, ran down the stairs, running into my arms. He buried his face in my shirt and I rested my head on his shoulder running my hand through his wavy, short, almost-black hair. Damian had his father's (Stephan Merchant) tan skin and my ice blue eyes.

Picking up Damian, with difficulty, I sat him next to me in the bed. Grinning, I playfully smacked Bam on the forehead.

"Hey, you asleep?" I asked Bam. He groaned and yawned.

"I was," he said.

"Well, have you met Damian yet?" I asked. Bam's eyes sprung open. He abruptly sat up.

"Who the hell is Damian?!" Bam asked. He was acting like Damian was my ex-boyfriend.

"My son," I replied. Bam's eyes softened and he laid back down.

"Good. He's only your son," he said. It took a few seconds for the statement to sink in. Bam sprang to his feet after falling off the bed. "YOU HAVE A FRIGGIN' KID?!"

"Ya," I answered. "Is there a problem with that?"

"Uh, no. Not at all...guess I'm a little...'shocked'. You're not the type of person I would expect to be a parent," Bam told me.

"Yeah, my 'I-don't-give-a-fuck' personality," I agreed. "Ville didn't believe me when I said I had a kid, either."

"You told Ville you have a kid before you told me?" Bam asked. I nodded.

***

F.F. Two Weeks:

"Thank god, we're leaving! Ritt, I don't think I can stand your grandmother any longer!" Bam said. We had just finished packing everything into the back of the hummer.

"I think you have to. We're staying for dinner," I told him. He groaned. "If we're lucky, it'll go fast."

"DINNER!" my grandmother yelled from the front porch. Bam and I ran back up to the house, hurrying for a place at the dining room table.
After a few minutes, everything was served. Everyone, except for my mother, grandmother, and myself, was seated.

"So, Damian's going to Pennsylvania with the rest of you, eh?" my grandmother asked.

"Yeah," I answered, taking a Pop-Tart out of one of the cupboards.

"Good. That little brat has raised hell around here since you had to leave him here five years ago. I'm sick and tired of putting up with him," she snarled as she turned away from me. Slowly, I reached into the silverware drawer, pulling out a steak-knife. It was raised over my head and I was about to go madly insane with the knife before my mom took it from me.

***

F.F. A Week:

"I still can't believe your grandmother actually said that about Damian in front of you!" Bam told me.

"She's an outspoken whore who needs to fuckin' burn in hell!" I replied. I scooped up more paint for my brush and neatly painted the wall a jet black. "Now, why are we redecorating a guest room, again?"

"Wille Walo's coming here for a few days as a break from tour and Jonna," Tim Glomb said. Glomb was also helping Bam and me set up the guest room.

"When's he gonna be here?" I asked.

"His plane lands at one o' clock tomorrow morning in Philly. Me n' Dunn are gonna drive to Philly to pick him up," Bam answered.

"Awesome!" I exclaimed. I remembered how I missed Ville so badly.

F.F. to the Next Day:

"VILLE HERMANNI VALO!" I shouted, tackling Ville to the floor. "OH - EM - GEE! I, LIKE, KNOW, LIKE, YOU, LIKE!" Ville laughed as I stood up and pulled him to his feet. He briefly embraced me. He yawned.

"LEMME SHOW YOU TO YOUR - ROOOMMMM!" I laughed, gracefully jumping forward and taking the stairs three at a time. Ville smiled, shook his head in disbelief, picked up his duffle bag and followed me.

"Now, I think this is where y'all's gonna sleep. If y'all's got any problems, I'll be right down the hall," I told Ville with a southern accent.

"You haven't changed a bit, personality-wise, sweetheart," Ville said. I tipped an imaginary hat.

"Why, thank you, my favorite foreign friend from Finland," I said, leaving the room.

***

My cell phone rang. Groaning, I buried my head under the blankets but the ringing only grew louder. Whenever my cell phone rang, it usually meant bad news so I refused to answer it. Finally, Bam picked it up.

"Hello? No, this is her boyfriend. Yeah, she's right here. Here I'll let you talk to her. Emo - Kid, your friend, Haley, I think...yeah, well, she's on the phone," Bam told me, handing me the phone, which I held up to my ear.

"WUT?" I sighed.

"Greetings, Crackhead," my old friend, Haley Hoffmann, greeted.

"Hola, Pothead," I replied. "Whatcha callin' for?"

"Well, ya know that camp that I own? The one up by Lake Ontario?" Haley asked.

"Uh, yeah."

"Well, I was wondering if you, Bam, Damian, and your other friends wanted to come up. Kaite is coming as well."

"Hellz yeah I wanna come!" I exclaimed. "When do you want me to head up there?"

"Well, tomorrow, at the latest. We'll all be there for about a week and a half," Haley answered. "But remember, BYOB!"

"K, cool. Well, guess I'll be seein' ya," I said.

"K, later, Crackhead," Haley bade goodbye before hanging up. I nearly jumped out of bed, running down the stairs into the dining room.

"LADIES! And Bam, Ville, and Damian. We're all going campin'!" I yelled, hopping from foot to foot with elation.

"Who's going camping?" April asked as she served eggs, bacon, sausage, and pancakes.

"You, you, you, you, you, you, and you," I said, pointing at Bam, Ville, Damian, Dunn, DiCo, Rake, and Raab. I turned to Ape. "I'm gonna give 'em an experience they won't forget anytime soon."

"When are we going?" Dunn asked.

"And where, exactly, is this camp we're gonna suffer at?" Rake asked.

"How are you gonna suffer, Rake? Do ya think you'll run out of Pantene?" DiCo teased.

"We're leaving in an hour, and the camp is in New York, up by Lake Ontario," I said. "I've been there before. The daily routine is: wake up, get drunk, pass out, wait for the hangovers to pass, eat dinner, stay up all night, eventually pass out, and wake up again to get drunk. It's freakin' awesome!"

"Sounds like fun," Bam told me.
***

F.F. About Eight Hours:

"Are we there yet?" Dunn, DiCo, Rake, and Raab asked for the millionth time. I pulled into a clearing in the middle of the forest, parking by a giant two - story house. The house was on a large house so if you stood behind the house, you could look out and see a beautiful lake. Turning off the hummer, I stepped out of the driver's seat. As soon as I got out, I was pelted by several paint balls.

"Ow! Ow! Ow!" I shouted. Haley came out from behind a tree, laughing her ass off and holding up a paint ball gun. Haley was an African-American girl, a little older than me. She was scrawny with dark eyes, a sly smile, and dyed light-brown hair that was soft and silky and ended at her shoulders.

"I gotcha good this time, Relta," Haley smirked before hugging me. Damian hid behind me, but, since he was taller than me, he wasn't hidden.

"Holy Hell! Damian, is that you?" Haley asked in amazement. She laughed. "I haven't seen you since you were knee-high to a grasshopper."

"Nine years old and he's five foot four. I thought I'd be taller than him until he was at least twelve," I sighed.

"Yeah, well, his father was what? Six foot six?" she questioned. I nodded.

"So, where do we stay?" Dunn asked. He, Dico, Raab, and Rake had their bags in their hands and were eager to start drinking.

"Oh, right. It would be smart to introduce everyone. Haley, this is Bam, Ville, Dico, Raab, Rake, and Dunn. Idiots, this is my friend, Haley."

***

Bam's P.O.V. (A Few Hours Later...):

Where were Ritt and Ville? It seemed like they just disappeared an hour ago. Knowing them, they could be butt-fucking in a tree or feeling each other up behind a bush. Those two are like animals when they're together. Ritt is a drug-addict and Ville is her addiction. I walked downstairs into the camp's living room. Rake was asleep on the couch and Bran was holding a bucket of ice-cold water above Rake.

"He's out like a light," Dunn said, looking at Rake from a recliner. At that moment, Bran dumped the water onto Rake, who screamed like a girl and woke up pissed.

"Do you idiots know where Walo and Welta are?" I asked, laughing as Rake chased Dico around.

"Yeah, they went for a hike about two hours ago," Dunn answered.

***

Ville's P.O.V.:

Brittany threw a smooth stone. It skipped across the water four times before sinking. Feeling the flat, soft rock in my right hand, I threw it like Brittany had showed me. My rock, unlike hers, sank as soon as it touched the water. She laughed.

"You're not exactly good at this, are you?" she asked. I smiled and shook my head. For about an hour, Brittany and I had been skipping stones across the lake. The second hour we had been away was devoted to just hiking down to the lake from the campsite.

"This is awesome, sweetheart!" I exclaimed, throwing another rock which sunk like the first one. Brittany gave me a small smile before chucking a second rock, which skipped.

"Me n' Stephan used to do this for hours at a time," she said.

"Who, exactly, is Stephan?" I asked.

"Damian's father," she sighed heavily.

"Well, where is he now?" I questioned. There was a short, yet uncomfortable pause.

"...He's dead."

***

Normal P.O.V.:

"Oh, sweetheart, I'm sorry," Ville apologized.

"Don't be, it wasn't your fault," I said, holding back painful tears.

"Go ahead, cry. I won't tell. You'll feel better if you do," Ville told me, recognizing the pained look on my face. I sat down at the edge of the lake and Ville sat beside me.

"Where should I start?" I asked Ville.

"How'd you two meet?"

"The first day of ninth grade. I was completely lost on my way to a class and the bell to be in class rang. So I just started sprinting down the hall. I turned a corner and ended up crashing into a freakin' six foot tall football player. I was knocked back on my ass and my books just flew down the hall. The football player helped me to my feet, he was pretty nice for a jock, and picked up all my books and shit and things just escalated from there."

"That was it? He knocked you down in the school halls and you two just started dating?" Ville asked. I shook my head.

"No. Some prep threw a party and I was invited. I was completely shocked. Here I am, this little loner with maybe four or five friends, at this giant party where everybody knows everybody else. And, of course, there was the jock, playing Seven Minutes in Heaven with a bunch of other kids and I decided to join in and, whadaya know, I end up getting him as a partner. In the bathroom, a.k.a. 'Heaven', I found out his name was Stephan Merchant and he was from Romania. Well, Seven Minutes in Heaven turned into Seven Hours in Heaven. When I woke up the next day, we were both naked on the bathroom floor. And that was how Damian came along and how I lost my virginity.

After the party, we became like, best friends. My parents freakin' loved him like a son. When we all found out I was pregnant with Damian, my parents wouldn't let me get an abortion to teach me a lesson about safe sex. Since Damian was Stephan's child, my parents and Stephan's parents thought we should get married. About a month before Damian was born, I dropped out of high school and waited two years for Stephan to graduate. When I was eighteen, he proposed and it didn't last much longer than that," I said.

"What happened, sweetheart?" Ville questioned.

*Flashback* July 24, 1999:

"That movie was funny as fuckin' hell!" I laughed as I got into my tiny, ghetto F150 pickup.

"Hey! I have to kiss that mouth, ya know!" Stephan laughed. I shrugged. It was the night of my nineteenth birthday and we were going home after watching a comedy at a local movie theater. I turned on the windshield wipers as it began to heavily rain. "I can't wait to see Damian. I haven't seen him for almost three hours!" We both laughed.

"Well, aren't you a class act?" I asked. The rain blurred my vision of the road and, unknowingly, I drifted into the other lane. About a hundred feet away. We saw a pair of headlights.

"You're in the wrong lane," Stephan told me.

"No I'm not," I insisted.

"Oh my god! Ritt, he's gonna hit us!"

"No he's not! Just re-" I began, interrupted as my pickup crashed head-on into an 18 wheeler. My head smashed into the dashboard and I felt liquid trickle out of my nostrils. My back ached terribly, but I could still move.

"Steph? Steph? You okay?" I asked frantically. I heard a weak moan. Unbuckling my seat belt, I fell out of my window, landed on the road, and walked around the overturned car, opening the door to the passenger's side. Stephan was upside down in his seat. He was pinned to his seat by his airbag, his head pushed down to his chest at a grotesque angle. The airbag was red with blood. Stephan looked at me, wincing, but gave me a small smile. There was a huge gnash on the side of his face that was bleeding badly and more blood was added with each beat of his heart.

"Ritt, everything'll be alright," Stephan assured me. I shook my head in disagreement, tears running down my face. I held onto his hand.

"Is everything alright?" I looked up. The driver of the tractor trailer stood at the front of the pickup. I shook my head.

"Please! Call fuckin' 911!" I pleaded.

"I already did," the driver said.

"Then, help me get him out!" I said. "Please!" The driver tried to somehow disengage the airbag while I tried to get Stephan out, holding his hand still. I knew we had to hurry; Stephan's neck didn't bend like that naturally.

I heard sirens in the distance and they gave me false hope.

"Tell Damian I love him," Stephan breathed.

"No, Steph, don't give up! The paramedics are coming! You'll be alright!" I reassured him. Finally, Stephan's breathing, which had gradually decreased in number over the past ten minutes, ceased and his hand grew cold as ice. I searched for a pulse, but couldn't find one. A five-year relationship had ended in ten minutes. I kissed Stephan on the forehead before limping over to the tractor trailer, where I leaned up against a front tire, holding my severely bruised ribs.
The paramedics came a few minutes later. They examined my body for injuries. I ended up with only a broken nose and several bruised ribs.

Stephan was dead.

*End of Flashback*

***

Ville's P.O.V.:

I wrapped my arms around the trembling young girl who was now crying into my chest. She was shaking as she sobbed heavily. I stroked her wavy dark brown hair.

"Is that why you're sad all the time?" I asked her, holding her like a child. She sniffed.

"Yeah."

"I'm so sorry, Brittany." She looked up at me, her face streaked with tears, her bottom lip quivering, her eyes puffy and red. With my thumb, I wiped away most of the tears. "What happened after he died?"

"I was placed on suicide watch and my parents gained custody of Damian. Child services thought I was endangering his welfare. Bullshit. I wouldn't harm a hair on my child's head. Without Stephan or Damian, I just lost my purpose to live. I tried drowning out my depression with drugs, alcohol, and stupid, empty sex." Bam had told me in 2003 how Brittany had been put into rehab for abusing narcotics, particularly morphine. She also had to gain some weight before she was allowed out because she had eaten very little since Stephan died.

"I miss him," Brittany whispered. I nodded to show I understood. She stood up, turned around, and lifted up the back of her shirt a few inches, revealing a tattoo. The tattoo was of a lonely rose and a tombstone. The tombstone read the date of birth and the date of death of her late-fiancé.

Slowly, I reached out and gently traced the rose with my fingers.

Brittany shivered before sitting back down in my lap. She looked at her watch.

"Eight fourteen," she said. "And the sun hasn't even set yet." Grabbing my hands, she wrapped my arms around her and began pulling me up to camp.

We got back in about 45 minutes, saving time by running instead of walking. The sun had set while we hiked back to camp.

"There you idiots are!" Haley said as Brittany and I walked inside the house. "Bam was worried freakin' sick." Brittany looked around.

"Where'd he go?" she asked.

"I think to a bar. But I know he won't be back anytime soon."

"Okay." Brittany walked upstairs into the large bedroom Brittany, Bam, and I had to share. I followed.

"What are you doing, love?" I asked her as she closed and locked the door behind me.

"Getting ready for bed," she said, taking off her shirt and pants and changing into nothing but a sports bra and a pair or Bam's old boxers.

Normal P.O.V.: Thirty Minutes Later:

I don't know how, but somehow, 'going to bed' turned into something more, erm...X-rated. It wasn't just sex though, it was oh-so sweet love-making. There is a difference.

For about five minutes, Ville had been kissing my neck and I knew that, when he removed his lips from my body, a hickey would be on my neck. I ran my fingers through his hair, causing him to stop kissing my neck and look up at me. He gave me a look as if to say, 'huh?' I shook my head and mouthed 'never mind'. Ville shrugged and went back to creating the ultimate hickey. Since his neck was mere millimeters away from my mouth, I reached out and bit him affectionately.

We heard loud footsteps approaching our room and we quickly pulled away, diving for our clothes. Ville got dressed and laid down on the bed. I got dressed, unlocked the door, and sat in the window sill of the bedroom's giant portrait window, staring at the moon.

Bam walked in just as I sat down in the window sill. Trying to act casual, Ville and I looked up when he entered the room. He looked completely shit faced, laying down on the bed, and, almost immediately, going to sleep. Ville and I looked at each other.

"Well, that was a little, erm...odd," I laughed.

***

The Crew's P.O.V.(Early the Next Morning):

"Bran, how did you get Ritt's car keys out of the room?" Rake asked DiCo.

"A freakin' tornado could whip through that room and none of them would know about it. It was easy," Dico grinned.

"I can't believe the hardware store is open so late," Raab thought aloud.

"Well, we took all the mouse traps they had," Dunn replied. Hundreds of mouse traps were in several big cardboard boxes in the trunk of Ritt's hummer. Bam, Ritt, and Ville were going to get a nasty wake up.

"Too bad we don't have a camera," Raab sighed. Dunn held up a camcorder.

"Who said we don't?" he smirked. "This thing even has night vision."

"We have to send that tape to MTV so they can air it as the last episode ever of 'Viva La Bam'," Raab laughed.

"I know! We even got some footy of the way up here. Complete episode. We have to tape the rest of the trip," Rake said.

"Turn on the camera while we set up the mousetraps," Dico said. Each crew member grabbed a box of mousetraps, Dunn in control of the camera. They carried the boxes up to the bedroom Ville, Ritt, and Bam had to share, setting the boxes on the floor. Instantly, Bran, Rake, and Raab got started on the prank as Dunn filmed the dirty work.

"Okay. I already filled you in on why we're here. But, already, Bam and Ritt's relationship is changing. You see, last night, you could hear Ritt and Wille Walo fooling around up here. She's definitely cheating on Bam. Hell, we'll just punish all three of 'em," Dunn told the camera. "Phase numero uno of the camp prank war."

"Ow! Damn!" Rake gasped as a mouse trap clamped down on his finger.

"Rake! Shut the fuck up!" Dunn hissed.

"Why don't you get your ass down here and help?!" Rake asked.

"'Cause I'm filming everything, dumb-ass," Dunn continued. He zoomed in on Ritt, Bam, and Ville. Ritt was hugging Ville who was hugging Bam. Bam rolled over and hit Ville in the face, which caused Ville to roll over onto Ritt. "It's like a domino effect!" The three remained asleep and Ritt punched Bam. "They can sleep through anything."

***

"You guys done yet?" Dunn asked an hour later.

"Yeah," Dico answered, setting up the last mouse trap. Dunn looked at his watch; it was three twenty eight. Raab crept over to the bedside table and set the alarm on the clock for three thirty. They waited for the alarm to go off.

The alarm screamed as loud as a car horn.

"Where's the fire?" Ritt asked stupidly. Bam rapidly sat up, accidentally backhanding her. Ville sat up, hitting his head on Bam's extended arm. The crew, successfully, tried to remain silent.

"What the..." Ritt began. Her dark silhouette could be seen getting off of the bed and beginning to walk towards the crew. Ville and Bam could be seen following. Immediately, one of them stepped on a single mousetrap, triggering several others in a domino effect. The mousetraps clamped to their feet. Dico turned on a light. Bam, Ville, and Ritt jumped up and down holding their feet so that it looked like they were dancing.

"You guys are so dead tomorrow!" Ritt yelled.

"Yes! Complete episode of Viva La Bam!" Rake cheered.

"What are you smoking? The show's over," Bam said.

"Well, this episode can be the sequel to the last episode, but it has nothing to do with the previous episode so technically, this episode is the last true episode," Dico exclaimed.

"Amazingly, that makes sense. But it hurts my brain too much so I'm going back to bed," Ritt said as she, Ville, and Bam got back into bed.
***

Later That Day:

We had little more than three hours to do our dirty work. Haley had taken herself, Damian, and the crew on a hike, leaving Kaite, Bam, Ville, and I alone at the camp.

The first thing we did was completely trash the room the crew had to share. All four mattresses were torn and overturned, clothes were scattered all over the place, and blankets and pillows were thrown in a single corner, forming a giant mountain of feathers and fabric.

"Looks like one of them had sex with a tiger," I laughed, looking around at the results of our evil deeds. I grabbed a pillowcase from the corner and marched out of the house, Ville, Kaite, and Bam following me. I led them into the woods. As I had expected, a lonely skunk wandered across a clearing. Quietly, we chased it until we had it cornered.

"Do not try this at home, Damian," I said to the camera, knowing my son would watch it at one point in his life, most likely for revenge against me. Slowly, I approached the skunk, pillowcase at the ready. With patience, I lured the skunk into the pillowcase. "I should be on 'Jackass'." Bam smiled and rolled his eyes. Yeah right. They did way stupider stuff on Jackass.

Silently, we walked back to camp. We had at least five minutes left before everyone would be back, Haley had called and warned me. I snuck into the crew's room, putting the pillowcase in a corner. Kaite, Bam, Ville, and I crouched behind the pile of pillows and blankets before the skunk escaped to watch our plan unfold.

We heard the crews' voices and footsteps grew louder as the four approached their room. Dunn, Dico, Rake, and Raab walked in. We watched the skunk crawl out of the pillowcase as Rake turned on a lamp. Dico's eyes grew wide and he froze as he spotted the skunk.

"Bran, what's wrong?" Rake asked.

"Sk-sk-sk..." Dico stuttered.

"What?" Dunn questioned. Dico pointed at the skunk. The other three turned around slowly. They jumped when they saw the skunk and pushed each other out of the way as they scrambled towards another corner of the room. They stared at the skunk, holding each other and shoving to get behind each other. The skunk, furious after being in a pillowcase, quickly chased the crew.

"I can't watch," I breathed, covering my eyes as the skunk rose its tail. I uncovered my eyes and smiled. "Wait. Yes I can!"

The crew screamed as the skunk sprayed them.

"Gwoss!" Dico groaned as he held his nose. The four ran for the door, running into it during their scramble. Walking out from behind the pile of pillows and blankets, I picked up the skunk, stroking its head. It was now my evil put after it had carried out the plan.

"You idiot, don't pick that up! I'll spray you!" Kaite warned me. Kaite, Bam, and Ville, too, stepped out from behind the pile. I shook my head. When I was a teenager, I had volunteered at an animal hospital. Skunks can only spray once before re-cooperating for a few days.

"The only thing I'll have to worry about getting from this skunk is ticks," I told her.

"Tch, yeah. Only," Bam said sarcastically.

"Too bad, Ritt, we'll have to take your hummer to get some tomato juice," Rake grinned.

"LIKE HELL YOU AIN'T!" I protested.

"Please, Ritt? We'll use like, cologne, or perfume, or something to cover up the skunk smell," Dunn pleaded.

"Wow, that really speaks to me," I said.

"R-really? What does it say?" Dunn asked.

"It says, 'I FEEL LIKE BEING A TOTAL ASSHOLE TODAY!'" I exclaimed. Raab looked like he was about to cry. I tossed Dico the keys.

"Fine. I'll let you borrow the hummer, but one scratch on it and you'll find another skunk in your room," I warned.

***

I sighed heavily out of boredom. I thought about the past few days at camp. I think Bam, Kaite, Ville, and I won the prank war. We had first gotten back at the crew by throwing their clothes off of the hill so they had to search for all of their clothes for a few hours. They had started another round by using the flag pole to display the underwear of Bam, Ville, and I. That was when we decided on the skunk plan.

Picking up my cell phone, I stared at it. Rain softly pattered on the roof of the camp's house. It had been raining for a few hours and we hadn't been able to do anything except play cards.

"I'm gonna call my parents," I said randomly. Everyone else looked at me for breaking the silence. I dialed my parents' home phone number.

"I really don't care," Dunn told me, going back to surfing the web on my laptop, probably searching for motorcycle parts.

"Hmm? Hello?" my dad yawned.

"Whatcha doin'?" I asked.

"Sleepin'."

"It's three in the afternoon! Get your lazy ass outta bed!" I said. "Had to work all last night?"

"Yep. Listen, Ritt, your grandmother wants you to stop by on your way home from camp," my dad told me.

"Nice grandmother or the whore that is your mother?" I asked.

"Hey, if she wasn't a whore, you and I wouldn't be here."

"So Mom's mom, right?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, cool. Later, Dad," I said, hanging up. Bam looked at me. "We're stopping at my grandmother's house on the way home."

Bam, Ville, and the crew grunted as they carried the two canoes down to the river. Haley and Kaite decided to stay back at camp with Damian. Bam, Ville, the crew and I were going to ride canoes down the river. It was a day before we were supposed to go back to West Chester. The guys set the canoes down in the river. Dico, Dunn, Rake, and Raab got in one while Bam, Ville, and I got in the other. Each of us got a paddle and we tied a floating cooler full of brewskis to one of the canoes.

In my canoe, Bam was in the front, I was in the back, and Ville was in the middle. In the crew's canoe, the order from front to back was Dico, Rake, Raab, and finally, Dunn.

"I have to pee," Bam sighed, only half an hour into drifting down the river.

"You're paddling in a giant toilet, Bam. Just pick a spot and hang-ten," I told him. All of the guys stood up and there was a chorus of unzip-pings. "Is it me? Or did you guys drink a lot of beer?"

"It's a bit of both, sweetheart," Ville said.

"Sorta figured that," I replied.

"Ew! Dico! You're friggin' spraying me!" Rake whined.

"C'mon, Rake! I'm trying to write your name!" Bran laughed.

"Ya know, I have a nine year old who acts better than you four," I reprimanded.

"That's cuz he's a momma's boy. He has manners," Raab said.

"Momma's boy, my ass!" I argued.

"Ladies, can we stop arguing?" Dunn asked.

"Whatever," Raab sighed. They all sat down when they were done with their business and for a few minutes, there was silence. I decided to break it.

"Hey, I went up to this thug gangsta and he was all like, 'YO, MOTHA FUCKA, WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" I exclaimed randomly.

"Can ya say 'brainwashinggggg'?" Dico sang.

"If you're a kid and ya wanna go 'weeeee', butcha ain't got drugs yet," I continued. Ville gave me a funny look before continuing to paddle.

I knocked loudly on the front door of my grandmother's house.

"Wait a minute!" my grandfather shouted. The door opened and in the doorway stood my six foot tall grandfather. He took one look at me and we hugged.

"Mom! Mom! Mom!" Damian said, poking me in the shoulder.

"Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!" Bam and Ville chorused, joining in. I now was being poked in several places in my back and all I heard was a chorus of 'mom's.

"What?" I asked.

"Can I go and see gramma?" Damian questioned.

"Wow. You grew!" my grandfather said, hugging his great grandson. "Well, c'mon in." He led us inside, into the living room. My grandmother was sitting in a chair in the living room, talking to her sister, my great aunt Nancy. Both of them looked up when I entered the room, followed by Damian, Bam, Ville, and the crew.

"You leave for two years and come back with a group," my grandmother said.

"Oh, right. It would be smart to introduce some people," I said. "That's Ville, Bam, Dico, Dunn, Raab, and Rake." I pointed at each person. "Guys, they are the nice grandparents, Rick and Beth."

"They met your father's mother, huh?" my grandfather asked. The guys nodded.

"She's such a witch," my grandma said. The guys smiled and nodded again. They looked around.

"Whoa, what's that?" Ville asked, walking over to a wall covered in neat, pained handwriting. He observed it.

"That, Valo, is the family tree, going back at least...eight generations," I said. My aunt Nikki and I had researched Mom's side of the family tree and then recreated it on the wall. My grandparents had wanted more unique than a bunch of pictures on their walls, so they let us illustrate the family tree on the wall. Aunt Nik and I had chosen it because of our interest in genetics.

Looking at Ville, I noticed he was smiling at me. I smiled back. No one knew about the time at camp.

"So, Bam, what's your full name?" my grandma asked.

"Brandon Cole Mar-fuggin'-gera!" I exclaimed.

"Margera? Why does that name sound so familiar?" she thought aloud. "I think you have a fourth cousin with the last name 'Margera'." Bam and I looked at each other, wide-eyed. My grandma was known to overreact and give false advice at times. I hoped this was one of those times.

"So-so, you mean to tell me that I've been screwin' my fourth cousin for the past month?" I asked.

"It's possible." Quickly, I ran into the kitchen and began licking a bar of soap.

"SICK! I TRAVELED THE BASES WITH MY COUSIN!" I hollered, spitting up bubbles. Bam gargled with water from the sink.

"Hey! I said that it was POSSIBLE, not that I was POSITIVE!" my grandma explained. Still, there was that chance. Bam and I paused.

"DNA TEST!" we shouted in unison. We both dove for the phone to call a hospital. The crew were rolling around on the ground in laughing fits.

"Ya know what? FUCK YOU FOUR!" I screamed at them.

"BRITTANY ANN! MIND YOUR LANGUAGE!" my grandparents scolded.

Bam rapidly spoke into the mouthpiece of the phone and it all sounded like gibberish. I made out a couple words like 'DNA', 'test', and 'now'.

"Get your ass in the car," I told Bam. We ran out to the hummer.

"I hope we're not cousins. Just imagine the field day the paparazzi would have if we were," Bam said.

"That would suck."

We had just pulled onto the street the hospital was on when my cell phone rang. I was clenching the steering wheel so hard, my knuckles were turning white.

"Can you get that?" I asked.

"Where is it?"

"In my back pocket."

"Oh, real nice. Right before we get a DNA test we get a tease," Bam answered. "So convenient. 'Lo?"

"Hey, Bam, I thought you were all supposed to be home today?" Ape asked, as Bam put it on speaker phone.

"We were supposed to, but Ritt and I are getting a DNA test."

"Oh my god. Did you get her pregnant?!" April questioned.

"Why is you jump to worst case scenarios?!" I asked. "My mother is couldn't have made that jump and she's worse than Evil Knievel! Just because we're getting a DNA test doesn't mean I'm pregnant!"

"Fine, but why are you two getting a DNA test?" Ape asked.

"For us to know and for you to never find out," Bam said as he hung up.

***

F. F. A Couple Hours:

While waiting for the results of the DNA test, Bam, Ville, Damian, the crew, and I had to stay the night at my parents' house. Ville, Damian, Bam, and I were in my room, dividing up the pillows and blankets between the four of us. Dico, Dunn, Raab, and Rake were already in the guest rooms.

"Okay, Bam, you get my bed, Damian gets a guest room, and Ville and I will pass out in the living room," I stated, taking a giant body pillow, some large blankets, and dragging them up the stairs. Ville followed with his pillow and share of blankets.

Yawning, I collapsed on part of the huge couch. It was eleven-thirty and I was tired as hell. Already, I had plans. Even if Bam wasn't related to me in any way, shape or form, I'd try to work things out with Ville. He and Jonna had been arguing a lot lately and things were obviously heading south. And plus, there was a secret I had to share with Ville...

Ville sat down next to me on the couch, wrapped in his blankets. I kicked off my black and white Converse and took off my glasses, for I had decided to not wear contacts today.

"I'm gonna get into pajamas," I told Ville. He watched me leave the room. I went into the kitchen, where my duffel bag was thrown in a corner by the door. I grabbed my bag and went into the bathroom, coming back out in sky blue clouded pajama pants and a white spaghetti strap tank top.

"I should probably get ready for bed, too," Ville thought aloud, going into the bathroom with his bag when I sat back down on the couch. I placed my hands on my stomach and gently drummed my fingers on my warm, exposed flesh. He came back in a CKY 'fuCKYou' t-shirt and black pajama bottoms.

"There's nothing on!" I complained, flipping through the channels and finally deciding on an episode of Fear Factor. Ville returned to his spot beside me on the couch.

"So, what happened at the hospital, love?" he asked.

"They, like, scraped the inside of our mouths with cotton balls. You should've seen Bam. When the doctor snapped on rubber gloves, he acted like they were gonna amputate his dick or something," I laughed. "He's a drama queen. But don't tell him I said that." Ville smiled.

"I won't."

"I just hope he never finds out that I was doing stuff with you behind his back." Ville and I had fooled around with each other before when even thought of going to camp. When Ville had arrived at Castle Bam a bit over two months ago, we had a little dirty fun the first night he stayed. "Remember that time?"

"The first? Yeah. I still feel so guilty for fucking under Bam's roof," Ville replied.

"I don't think you should feel guilty. I heard some 'noises' coming from Kaite's room the other night," I told him. "How long has it been since, well...the first time?" I knew how long it had been. I was just trying to start a conversation.

"Uh, about two months. Why?"

"I know this is really dramatic, but...I missed two periods, Ville."

"Oh, shit."

"I'm more scared than you are. I have to tell Bam. And without a doubt, he'll flip."

"Well, I'm just...confused. I've never been a father before."

"I can get an abortion," I assured him. He cupped my chin in his hand.

"That won't be necessary, sweetheart," he told me before sweetly kissing me on the lips.

"I'm still not 100% sure, though. Want me to take one of those drug-store tests?" I asked.

"Whatever you want."

I shrugged and buried myself under all of the blankets. Ville did the same.

"I feel so...old," I sighed. It was August 2005. I had been 25 for almost two weeks.

"Happy belated birthday, Brittany," Ville said.

"You're the only person I know that actually calls me 'Brittany'," I answered,

"I guess I just like the name." He started to quietly talk to himself. "Brittany. Brittany Ann Valo."

"What?" I asked.

"I don't know," Ville sighed as he kicked the blankets off of the couch and innocently rested his head on my shoulder.

***

Ville's P.O.V.: F.F. to the Next Morning:

Lovingly, I stroked Brittany's soft, bouncy wavy hair. She silently slept on. It was no later than 6:45 in the morning. Brittany had fallen asleep with her head on my chest around midnight. I hadn't been able to fall asleep. My mind was swimming in questions I couldn't answer. I'm not ready to be a father. I can't even change a diaper! I thought. All night, I had gently massaged Brittany's swollen stomach, amazed that a life I had helped create was growing inside her.

Dico, Dunn, and Rake walked into the living room.

"Taking over for Bam?" Dico asked when he saw the sleeping Brittany in my arms. I shrugged. Her cell phone vibrated on the coffee table. Picking it up, I flipped it open and held it to my ear. "Hello?"

"Hello? This is Oswego State Hospital. Is this a Mister Brandon Margera I am speaking with?" a lady asked. Brittany's eyes fluttered open and she sat up. I handed her cell phone to her.

"Hello? No, this is Brittany. Yeah, yeah, okay. So we're not related, right? Okay, awesome." Brittany spoke with the lady. "Okay, you have a good day, too. Bye." Brittany looked at me with a weak smile. "Well, at least Bam and I aren't related."

"Why are you two acting all lovey-dovey towards each other?" Dico asked. Brittany and I looked at Dico, then back at each other. She stood up.

"You tell them. I'd prefer to not be around while you do," she said as she walked out of the living room. I looked at Dico.

"So, what's going on between you and Emo-kid?" he questioned. I shifted uneasily in my seat.

"I-I'll tell you when we're 100% sure," I said, standing up and leaving the living room. Brittany was standing on the front porch, leaning on the wooden railing.

"Did ya tell them?" she asked as she heard the door open. I stood beside her, leaning on the railing, too.

"Love, we can't tell them things that we don't know if they're completely true or not," I told her.

"C'mon then! We can go get some drug store tests," she said, walking down the porch stairs and getting in the driver's seat of her hummer.

Sighing, I got in the hummer in the passenger's seat.

Normal P.O.V.: F.F. A Few Hours:

Out of boredom, I kicked my dangling foot. It rocked back and forth for a few seconds before coming to a halt. I kicked it out again. The past twenty-four hours went super quickly. Every dramatic event seemed to mesh together: getting told the possibility of Bam and I being related, the DNA test, telling Ville I was pregnant... Things were going too fast for my liking. Everything Bam and I had built up as a relationship came tumbling down.

"I can't believe I'm going to be a father in seven months," Ville sighed. Damian, Bam, Ville, the crew, and I were in the hummer, driving back to West Chester. Damian and Bam were in the front seat, Dico, Dunn, Rake, and Raab in the back seat, and Ville and I were sitting in the trunk.

"It'll go fast," I told him. "I need a smoke, a beer, and some Chinese food."

"Chinese food?" Dico asked.

"Cravings," I said. My stomach lurched and I felt like barfing. I had to quit smoking. I had to get a membership at a gym and start working out again. My life was changing rapidly. "If I could throw up right now, I would feel so much better." Ville, who had been directly across from me, moved next to me.

"Please, no projectile vomiting," he laughed.

"I'll try not to." Bored as hell, I reached into my duffel bag and pulled out my laptop, which I brought with me most everywhere. Ville gave me a questioning look.

"For like, five years I've been searching for a house. I can finally get a decent one since the band is finally making it big."

"I forgot you're in a band," Ville smiled.

"Yeah. But Matt is being depressed. He can't play well when he's moody."

"Oh, check out that one!" Ville exclaimed, pointing at a giant mansion on the screen of my laptop. I scrolled down to check out information on the mansion. It had twenty-one acres, twelve bedrooms, six bathrooms, three stories, not including the basement, and it cost no less than $250,000. It looked like it belonged in California, but, luckily, it was in New York, my home state. For some reason, I easily got homesick, which was often why we had to visit New York whenever we toured.

"I'm so buying that!" I grinned.

"What is all of the extra space going to be used for?" Ville asked.

"Duh. You're moving in."

***

F.F. Two Days:

Sighing, Ville unlocked the door to his Helsinki apartment.

"Sweetheart, you're going to be completely shocked when you see it," Ville told me. He pushed open the door and the two of us walked in.

"Oh, my god! Ville Hermanni Valo!" I yelled, laughing. Obviously, when Jonna and Ville started to fight, Ville's apartment went downhill like their relationship. The apartment was a complete wreck.

"I'm ashamed of myself," Ville laughed.

"Cleaning senses, tingling!" I joked.

"There's probably, not even a car-load of stuff I'll need in the whole apartment. It'll take ten minutes to pack and a couple hours to take care of all of the garbage."

"Well, let's get started," I said, dragging about fifty garbage bags inside the apartment. "Why do you have black plastic bags covering your windows?"

"I don't know. Cheap curtains?" Ville ripped the black plastic off of the windows and stuffed the torn plastic into a garbage bag. We walked into the kitchen. Jars, boxes, cans, bottles, and old food littered the kitchen.

"Magically, I will make all of this crap disappear from view."

Ville's P.O.V.: F.F. A Few Hours:

"God damn, Ville! I didn't know there was that much nuts in this apartment," Brittany told me. We were lying next to each other on a newly purchased bed that she had bought. She hated sleeping on couches. Bam and the crew, who had also came to Finland to help clean, were staying at a hotel a few blocks away. We had taken about eight garbage bags full of trash out of my apartment and gone shopping for groceries and furniture. I had discovered a floor in the kitchen.

Lying next to Brittany on the couch, I stroked her cheek. She was laying on her back, looking up at the ceiling. She turned her head to look at me.

"I'll make breakfast in the morning, k?" she smiled. I nodded.

"We still have seven months to go," I told her.

"Stop obsessing," she replied. "March will come soon enough!" I shrugged.

***

Normal P.O.V.: The Next Morning:

The kitchen had a homey scent, the scent of sizzling bacon. In ten minutes, I had gone from being half-asleep and dragging my feet into the kitchen to being bright-eyed and perky. I put some bacon, eggs, toast, and pancakes on a plate and carried it to the bedroom. Ville quietly slept on in the bed.

"Wakey, wakey, eggs and bacey!" I cheerfully told him. Slowly, Ville opened his eyes. I sat down next to him on the bed, handing him the plate.

"I never thought I'd see the day when you cooked anything besides toast," Ville said. I shrugged.

"I'm an okay-cook, but I hate cooking." I took a piece of toast off of Ville's plate and ate it. "So, whadaya think?"

"It's only seven thirty, sweetheart. My brain doesn't click on until noon."

***

"I can't believe we finally get to check out the house in person," Ville said. Yes, we had bought the mansion. We had made a lot of progress in the past two weeks. Ville had finally told Jonna about me and now she never wants to see him again. All of his possessions had been Fed-Ex-ed from Finland to the house's address in New York. Bam had Glomb set up and decorate the house, and Damian and Ville were now thick as thieves.

Currently, Ville and I were driving to the mansion from the Syracuse airport. Damian was already at my parents' house, which was where he had stayed while Ville and I were in Finland.

My cell phone rang, I pulled it out of my back pocket, flipped it open, and held it to my ear.

"'Lo?" I greeted.

"Greetings, dearest Ritty!" my eldest brother, Tyler, greeted. I sighed.

"What do you want?"

"Well, loving sister, I was wondering if you could watch Lily for me while I drop Anna and Isa off at their mother's house?" Anna, 13, and Isa, 5, were Tyler's kids from his first marriage. Now, Tyler has a girlfriend, who he has been with for four years and is engaged to. Lily, Tyler's youngest daughter, is four and is also the daughter of Tyler's fiancé, Erica.

"Why couldn't you be smart like Seth and stay with one woman?!" I asked. Seth, my other brother, has two kids: Tre, 11, and Samantha, 9. Both Sam and Tre are the children of Seth's wife, Elizabeth. Seth was smart. He married and had kids with Elizabeth, and they're happy as ever.

"Hey, Seth is the one who went to college, not me," Tyler replied.

"I didn't even finish high school and I'm smarter than you!" I said.

"Such loving siblings we are. You, me, and Seth get along so well," Tyler laughed.

"So, see ya all Mom and Dad's house, k?" I said.

"Uh, huh. Later," Tyler said, hanging up.

Getting out of my hummer, Ville and I walked up to the front door of my parents' house. I rapped my knuckles smartly on the door.

"C'mon in!" my mom's voice faintly yelled. We walked inside.

"Mom!" Damian exclaimed.

"Aunt Bee!" two little girls squealed. My five year old niece, Isabella, and my four year old niece, Lily, Isa's sister, ran up to me, hugging my legs.

"The biz-notch in the flesh!" Tyler and Seth said as Ville, Damian, and I walked into the living room. My nieces were sitting on my feet, their arms and legs wrapped around my shins.

"Hey, it's the Dark Biz-notch to you," I replied. Tyler and Seth gave Ville a 'who-the-fuck-are-you-and-why-are-you-with-my-sister?' look. "Ty, Seth, this is Ville Valo, my boyfriend. And don't get overprotective. I've known him since 2003. He knows better than to break my heart."

"So, Ritt, what's with the belly?" Seth asked, motioning towards my swollen stomach.

"I'm almost three months pregnant. And, yes, Ville's the father," I said calmly. Everyone, except Isa and Lily, fell silent. "Ty, I thought you said you were going to drop Isa and Anna off at Kim's?" Kim is Anna's and Isa's mother, Tyler's ex-wife. I needed to change the subject to end the uncomfortable silence. Tyler shrugged.

"Kim let me have them for the rest of the week. You can still take Lily if you want," he answered.

"Of course I want to! These kids are never around and when they are, I'm usually on tour." I picked up Lily. She, like her older sisters, was the spitting image of her father and looked nothing like her mother. Same with Sam and Tre, except they were the spitting image of Seth.

Tre, Sam, and Anna stood in a small cluster by the couch, as if they had never seen me before.

"Come here, ya brats!" Without hesitating, the three broke out in smiles and came over to embrace me.

***

"Glomb did a great job on the house, didn't he, Ville?" I asked Ville. He nodded in agreement. Ville was giving me a back massage. We had been home for about three hours. Most of those three hours were spent exploring the house. The house had a Gothic theme with dark colors, suits of armor, elaborate furniture, and gorgeous artwork.

"So, whadaya think of Lily?" I questioned, trying to get Ville to talk. He wasn't fun when he was quiet.

"I think she's cute," Ville laughed. I smiled.

"I hope our baby is like Lily." Our bedroom door opened and in walked Damian and Lily.

"Aunt Bee! We can't sleep!" Lily said. Getting out of bed, I stood up, made beds for them on the floor, and got back into bed next to Ville.

"Mom!" Damian whined.

"'Mom' ran away! I'm changing my name," I groaned, turning off the lights. "What?"

"Can I sleep with you n' Ville?" he asked.

"Ville? Is it okay with you?" I asked Ville.

"I don't care," he yawned. Damian climbed in between Ville and me and, almost instantly, went to sleep. I could hear Lily, also already asleep, softly snoring from the floor.

"So, what do you think of the house?" I whispered to Ville. It was dark, but I could tell he was smiling.

"Already, I can hear the patter of little Valo feet on the hardwood floor in the living room."

"So you think it's a keeper?"

"This house is definitely a keeper."

Ville's P.O.V.:(The Next Morning)

Everything seemed quiet. Too quiet for comfort. Brittany had gone to the doctor's for a sonogram and had taken Damian with her so they could get groceries and bond over a day at the mall. Lily stayed home with me. She had been playing with her dolls in the living room all morning while I finished exploring the giant house. Walking down the stairs, I was a little creeped out by the eerie silence.

"Lily? Sweetheart, where are you?" I asked.

"Right here," she chimed. She had been sitting in front of the couch and, because she was so short, I couldn't see her. Now, she was playing with stuffed animals. I sat down beside her on the floor.

"What are you playing?" I asked.

"Castle," the four year old replied. She held up a toy rabbit. "This is me. I'm Princess Lily of the castle." She held up two bears. "And this is King Ville and Queen Britt. They just got married and now they rule the whole kingdom!" I felt my face turn a lush shade of fuchsia and I gave Lily a small smile. I wish they could stay like this forever, I thought.

"Am I gonna have a new cousin?" Lily asked. I paused and smiled.

"Yeah."

***

Normal P.O.V. (F.F. A Few Hours):

"Lillian, can you please pass the tea?"

"Of course, Damian!" Lily exclaimed.

"Thank you, Lillian."

"You're welcome." Lily and Damian were actually getting along. Ville and I were watching the two from the doorway and I was filming every second. Moving the camera, Ville was now in the spotlight.

"Villiam, should we join Lillian and Damian for some tea?" I asked, causing Damian and Lily to look up. Damian's jaw dropped.

"Mom!" he groaned.

"Brittany, I think it's a fantastic idea to join Lillian and Damian for tea. Ladies first," Ville said, playing along. He bowed as common courtesy, while I entered the room. He then followed. Lily giggled as Ville and I sat down on the floor. The two children continued on with their tea party while Ville and I whispered to each other.

"So, boy or girl, sweetheart?" Ville asked.

"Both," I answered. Ville's mouth hung open in shock.

"Both?! As in like twins?!" I nodded.

"One boy. One girl."

***

Ville's P.O.V.: (F.F. 2 Months/September 25, 2005)

Brittany had been in our room ever since she received a phone call from Kaite. I could hear her sobs over My Chemical Romance, which was what she had blasting. A part of me wanted to leave her alone and let her do her thing while the other part told me to go and comfort her. Nervously, I opened the bedroom door and walked in, closing the door behind myself. She looked up and stopped the music.

Her delicate ashen face was streaked with tears. Her icy blue eyes were red and puffy. I sat down beside her, hugging her tightly. She wrapped her arms around my neck and cried into my chest.

"Brittany, what's wrong?" I asked her. She sniffed.

"Matt. He killed himself." Matt? Matt? The bassist of Dreadful Illusions was Matt. The whole band was deeply affected if anything happened to any members. If someone suffered, they all did. The six had a mental and emotional connection that I knew nothing about.

"Sweetheart, I'm so sorry," I told her.

"He hung himself because of his girlfriend. She left him. They found his body yesterday, but they expect he killed himself a few days before. The tour's been canceled until we can get a new bassist." And who knows how long that could take.

Normal P.O.V.: (F.F. to December 20, 2005):

"Damian, honey, do you know where Ville is?" I asked Damian, who was doing homework. Ville and I had had our first fight about three hours previously and I hadn't seen him since. I was worried. True, the house was huge, but how hard is it to lose a person? And he didn't even know his way around New York all that well.

"Last I saw him, he was going outside," Damian told me, not looking up from his homework. Groaning, I grabbed my coat, put it on, and went outside.

"Now I have to search the whole property for Valo in seven degree weather," I thought aloud, my teeth chattering. I shivered and pulled my coat tighter around my body. Maybe I was exaggerating. I wouldn't have to search the whole property. I'd find Ville way before that.

Listening closely, I could hear faint sobbing beyond the howling of the wind. The sobbing was coming from behind my hummer. Taking a closer look, I walked around the hummer.

Sitting on his butt, Ville sat in the snow. His knees were pulled up to his chest and he was shivering. His sobs ceased when he saw me standing next to him.

"Aren't you cold?" He nodded. Reaching down, I pulled him to his feet. His shivering had increased to trembling and he could barely stand up. "You. Inside. PRONTO!" I helped him inside, where I escorted him to our room.

"Fucking freezing, fucking freezing, fucking freezing," he chanted.

"Yeah? Well sit outside in winter for a couple hours and see what happens, bonehead," I said, walking into our bathroom. Opening up the medicine cabinet, I pulled out a thermometer and a bottle of aspirin and, from under the bathroom sink, a mop bucket.

Setting the bucket next to our bed and the aspirin on our bedside table, I held up the thermometer.

"See this? This can go under your arm, in your mouth, or up your ass. Where do ya want it?" I asked. Ville stared at the thermometer with a blank expression.

"That depends. Who used it last?"

"It's a brand-new thermometer. Now pick a place." Ville looked at me and grinned. "Please not up your ass."

'I won't. I'm not that mean!" he laughed. "I love you, but I don't want you shoving foreign objects up my ass."

"Good. Now stick this in your mouth," I told him. Ville opened his mouth so I could stick the thermometer under his tongue.

"102.8 degrees, that's not good," I read the thermometer. I looked at Ville. "You, my friend, have the flu. Toldja you should've gotten a flu shot."

"I want to throw up. I would probably feel better," he groaned.

"Take some aspirin and you'll feel better...sorta," I told him, handing Ville a couple tablets. He swallowed them before laying down. I laid down beside him. He rolled over and placed his head on my chest, one hand on my stomach, and his other hand was draped around my shoulders.

"I feel like poo-poo," Ville groaned.

"If you have to puke your guts out, puke your guts out in the bucket." I felt his forehead and felt bad for him. Getting up, I went into the bathroom, wet a washcloth, folded it neatly, and returned to our bedroom.

Ville took off his shirt and changed into some flannel pajama bottoms before laying back down. He hugged me and I placed the washcloth on his forehead. Even though his forehead was scorching, his hands were colder than ice. I clenched my teeth and gasped when Ville's hands touched my skin.

"Can you sing to me?" Ville whispered in my ear. I nodded.

"Tired of being what you want me to be, feeling so faithless, lost under the surface. Don't know what you're expecting of me, put under the pressure of walking in your shoes. Every step that I take is another mistake to you. I've become so numb, I can't feel you there, become so tired, so much more aware, I'm becoming this, all I want to do is be more like me and be less like you," I softly whispered in Ville's ear. I heard soft breathing and his eyes were closed when I finished the song.

"Can you sing it again?" he asked.

"Can you go to sleep?"

"I swear, I'll be asleep by the end of the song."

And he was.

***

"Wille Walo's sick on Christmas. Awww, poor wittle Wille Walo," I said, playing with Ville's hair. "You'll be so happy once you see your present from me." Getting up, I went into the closet and brought out a guitar case. Ville gave me a smile.

"Thank you," he said, examining the case.

"Hey you, the present is inside the case." Opening the case, Ville pulled out an autographed bass guitar.

"This thing is signed by Gene Simmons!" Ville exclaimed. I grinned.

"You like it?" I asked.

"Hellz yeah!" Getting out of bed, Ville went into our underwear drawer, digging to the way bottom. He pulled out a long, narrow box and two slips of paper.

"Merry Christmas, sweetheart," he smiled, handing both gifts to me. The two strips of paper turned out to be tickets to Finland. Since Matt had died, Jeff, Dan, Kaite, Jared, and I fell into slight depressions, worrying that we might not continue as musicians. Matt was a sweetheart and a dear friend. I had been bugging Ville about going to Finland for about a month. Opening the box, I found a beautiful white-gold 14 karat necklace, studded with several diamonds.

"OH-EM-GEE! SHINY THINGS!" I exclaimed. We both laughed. "So, when are we going to Finland?"

"Soon enough, 'stop obsessing'!" Ville teased, quoting me. "In the end of February."

"That's not soon enough!"

Ville's P.O.V.: F.F. to March 5, 2006

The past few weeks had been great. Brittany was introduced to my parents, Kari and Anita. They were a bit surprised when they found out they would be grandparents on such short notice. Brittany was also introduced to my brother, Jesse. Everyone got along fine. I admit, I'm a little jealous of Brittany: she gets along with my parents, but I can't get along with hers.

Brittany softly exhaled next to me on our bed. Laying there, staring up at the ceiling, I could feel something warm and wet. And it definitely didn't smell good. Nervously, I nudged Brittany with my elbow.

"Wha...?" she yawned.

"Did you, like, wet the bed?" I asked her.

"No, but I'm having killer cramps."

"Is that a good thing?" We both got out of bed. She folded back the comforter, groaned, and then dropped it.

"No. My water broke!" she said. As soon as she finished her statement, I started freaking out. "Ville. Calm down. We only have to go to the hospital."

"And it's like ten minutes away! Twenty-five if we walk! We can't wait that long! You'll be in labor by then!" I rapidly spoke.

"Then call your dad. He knows how to drive."

"Uh, okay." I called my father and he said he'd be at the apartment within five minutes. Sure enough, about three minutes later we the two of us had made it out to the sidewalk, there was my father's car, my mother riding shotgun. Brittany and I jumped in the back. She winced in pain and began to loudly curse continuously.

"Brittany!" I scolded.

"Ville, she's in pain. Leave the poor girl alone," my mother told me.

Time seemed to speed up. In what seemed like thirty seconds, we arrived at the hospital and got situated in a room.

***

Normal P.O.V.: The Next Day

"I hurt everywhere!" I groaned. Ville caressed my cheek reassuringly.
"3:21 a.m., Sunday, March fifth, 2006," Ville recited.

"You're so proud, aren't you?" He nodded.

"I feel...worried. They were born only six hours and thirty-nine minutes ago and now, they're not even in the same room as us," he sighed. I laughed.

"You're counting?" I questioned. "Ville, relax. They're not going to get up and walk away. At least, not for a while anyways."

"But still..." Ville trailed off. He tried to change the subject. "Ry looks like you."

"Poor child. And Ty looks like you." Tyler is the older twin, by ten minutes, and he has inherited my personality: loud and proud. He has Ville's dark curls, devilish smile, and beautiful facial features with my icy blue eyes.

Rylee, on the other hand, is almost the complete opposite. She has dark, wavy hair, my evil grin, and my facial features with Ville's pale green eyes. She is quiet, unlike her brother, and gets her stubborn attitude from her father. Both of the twins are long and slender, like their father.

***

Bam's P.O.V.: Back in the States

"Level 12, sucka!" Dico exclaimed.

"Not for long," Raab said, turning off the TV.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Dico yelled, throwing his controller across the room. He had been playing Galactica for six hours straight, trying to get past level five.

"Is it me or is it actually boring around Castle Bam?" Dunn asked.

"It's actually boring," Rake said.

"That's 'cuz Ritt doesn't live here anymore," I said.

"I know. I think I miss her," Dico said. I flipped open my cell phone, dialing Ritt's cell phone. I got her voice mail.

"The twins were born, Ry and Ty, so Ville and I are in Finland and we're DOIN' IT!" Ritt's recorded voice recited. Chuckling, I closed my cell phone.

"Well, I guess the twins were born," I said.

"You serious?" Dico asked.

"Yep. Ry and Ty," I sighed.
"What're you so depressed about?" Rake asked me.

"We're going to Finland, so Rake, Raab, Dunn, and Novak, pack your shit," I told the crew. Novak sighed.

"Why is it that I happen to be off probation this week?" he asked himself.

Normal P.O.V.:

"How much farther do we have to walk?" I asked.

"Relax, darling, we're here," Ville smiled.

"You don't have to do this, ya know," I told Ville. He stopped and turned to face me.

"Sweetheart, I want to do this." The two of us were standing outside of a Helsinki tattoo parlor. Ville and I had decided to get matching tattoos. Ty and Ry were at Ville's parents' house so we had the whole night to ourselves. "And plus, I've been waiting for us to get matching tattoos for so long, I've already organized the tattoos."

I shrugged before we walked inside. Ville walked up to the nearest person and, in Finnish, told her what he wanted as a tattoo. She looked over his shoulder at me, pointed, muttered something quickly in Finnish, and turned back to Ville. They finished their conversation and the girl led us to a back room where there were two tables. Ville sat on one and I sat on the other.

"Where are these tattoos going to be?" I asked Ville.

"On your lower back, now lift up the back of your shirt and lay down on your stomach," Ville said. Rolling over, I laid on my stomach on the padded table.

"I want the heartagram belly tattoo like you and Bam have," I said.

"If you wish, sweetheart," he replied. I felt the needle poke the skin on my back as the tattoo artist got to work. It felt like a bunch of ant bites in one place at the same time. I bit down on my bottom lip. "Brittany, give me a nickname. Any plain old nickname or a word that reminds you of me."

"Tourniquet," I answered. Ville translated it to Finnish but I could feel the artist write it in English.

Looking up, I noticed that a second tattoo artist was working on Ville's.

About three hours later, Ville and I had our back tattoos finished and Ville was able to get off his table.

"I want the pelvic heartagram one, Ville's. And Jack Skellington below my right shoulder-blade and Sally below my left shoulder-blade," I said. Ville translated my words to the tattoo artist. She replied to him in Finnish.

"She said to take off your shirt and lay back down on your stomach," he told me.

"I'm such a tattoo whore," I sighed.

***

Gently, I traced my new tattoo on my lower back.

Mina rakastan sinua,
Ville Hermanni Valo,
my tourniquet

it read. A small white rose was above the text. Ville's was basically the same except his was:

Mina rakastan sinua,
Brittany Ann Relta,
my poison girl

and Ville had a black rose. Thorny vines twisted around both my white rose and Ville's black rose.

A shrill cry came from the living room and I hastily left the bathroom to see what was wrong.

Ville was cradling an overtired Rylee, rocking her to sleep. He looked up when I entered the room, smiled, looked at Rylee, who was still crying, and then glanced down at the peacefully sleeping Tyler.

"I got one of them to sleep. You should be proud," he told me, smiling.

Smiling back, I scooped Rylee out of Ville's arms and sat down on the bed, rhythmically rubbing her back. I did this for a few minutes until she was asleep. Then, I gingerly placed her in the twin-portable crib next to Tyler.

***

Bam's P.O.V.: F.F. A Few Hours:

Yawning, I stretched as Rake picked the lock on the door of Ville's Helsinki apartment. There was a tiny click and the door slowly opened. Dunn, Raab, Novak, Rake, and I entered the apartment, going into Ville's bedroom.

Ville and Ritt were fast asleep on their bed, a large porta-crib close to the bed. Walking over to the crib, I peered down into it, looking upon two tiny infants. They, like their parents, were sound asleep.

"They're so Ville and Ritt's kids," I muttered.

"Novak, get in the bed and hug 'em," Raab told Novak. Novak crawled under the covers between Ritt and Ville, wrapping an arm around each of them. Ritt rolled over and was now facing Novak.

The foul odor of Novak's breath wafted around Ritt's face. She wrinkled up her nose in disgust and opened her eyes.

"Good morning," he grinned, blowing more of his flower-killing breath into her face.

"Sick!" she gagged as she tried to escape the horrid stench. She wound up on the floor on her butt. Ville, who was still asleep, rolled over, ending up face to face with Novak.

"Good morning, honey!" Novak said in a high-pitched girlie voice as Novak kissed Ville on the nose. Ville's eyes opened and he yelped as he, too, dove off of the bed, ending up in Ritt's lap.

"Hyvaa huomenta, sweetheart," he greeted Ritt.

"You have to scrub your face now, Valo. Novak just came out of the closet," she answered.

"Life-partner! They're making fun of me!" Novak told me. I rolled my eyes. Ville and Ritt stood up and my eyes drifted to below Ritt's exposed navel. She, like Ville and I, had the heartagram pattern tattoo under her belly button.

"So, what're you five doing here in Finland?" Ritt asked.

"We missed you two!" Raab exclaimed.

"Yeah, Castle Bam is boring without you," Novak said.

"I feel so loved," Ritt laughed.

"Can we stay here with you and Walo?" I asked. Ritt paused.

"Sure. You five get the fold-out couch and floor, though. This place isn't a very good hotel," she said. The five of us went out into the living room. Novak sat in a recliner, Rake grabbed a pillow and blanket and laid down on the floor, and Raab, Dunn, and I shared the fold-out couch.

"'Night," Ritt said, walking into the kitchen, turning off the lights, and returning to her bedroom.

(Still Bam's P.O.V.:)

"Oh, Bammmm," Ritt moaned as I kissed her neck. I traveled up her neck, kissing her jawline until our lips were pressed together. Being playful at the moment, Ritt decided to change this arrangement and rolled over so that she was on top of me.

Looking into my eyes, Ritt flashed me her trademark million dollar grin before decorating my shirtless torso with a can of whipped cream. She crawled on top of me, licking off all of the whipped cream.

"Don't tell Ville," she whispered in my ear as she began to unfasten my pants. Suddenly, she disappeared. The whipped cream and bedroom vanished.

Ritt was replaced by Dunn, who I had my arms around. His eyes popped open and he suddenly jumped off of the folded-out couch, pushing Raab off in the scramble.

"Whoa! WAY TOO FUCKIN' CLOSE FOR COMFORT!" Dunn told me. Raab and I laughed.

"C'mon, Dunn, let's just go back to bed," Raab said. Dunn pointed at me.

"Tell him to put Jabba back in his hut!" Dunn shouted. Still laughing, tears came to my eyes and I pounded my fists on the couch in hysteria.

"Dunn, you're killing me," I said.

"What the HELL is going on out here?" Ritt asked as she came out into the living room. "Has it occurred to you idiots that it's only seven in the morning?!"

"No," Rake said. Ritt rolled her eyes.

"Fuck it. I'll make breakfast anyways. You idiots want eggs, pancakes, sausage, French toast?" she asked, walking into the kitchen. The five of us followed her into the kitchen like little lost puppies.

"Morning, sweetheart," Ville yawned, kissing Ritt innocently on the cheek. He opened the refrigerator, peering in.

"If we're lucky, they'll sleep for a few more-" Ritt began. A shrill cry came from their bedroom.

"You spoke too soon, love," Ville told her as she went to tend to the twins.

When Ritt was out of earshot, Ville pulled his head out of the refrigerator and sat down with the rest of us at the table.

"You five, I need a favor," he whispered.

"What wan we do fwor Willa Walo?" Novak asked.

"I'm going to take Brittany out to dinner tonight and I want everything to be absolutely perfect," he continued.

"Why? Gonna propose?" Dunn asked. Slowly, Ville nodded.

"I've been waiting forever for the right time. But when she got pregnant, I knew she wouldn't want to walk down an aisle with her stomach leading the way," Ville quietly said. Rake, Raab, Novak, and Dunn saluted to Ville.

"Anything you say, Captain Walo," Dunn said.

Normal P.O.V.(F.F. to 7 PM, Same Day):

My stomach growled.

"You want to go out to dinner, sweetheart?" Ville asked.

"Uh...sure. I guess. I don't want to cook tonight," I smiled.

"Why don't we go somewhere fancy?"

"I don't know why not. What me to get dressed up or something?"

"Sure!" Something just didn't seem right. Ville seemed a little too excited for my liking. Going into the closet, he pulled out a sleek black strapless silk dress, laying it down on the bed.

"You're gonna wear a dress?" I laughed.

"Well, I was hoping you would," he replied, laughing also.

"Hm...I don't know..." I grinned, pretending to think.

"Pwease?" he begged.

"Hmmmm, alright. I will. Fwor my Wille Walo."

"Yay! I'll meet you out in the living room in half an hour," he said, leaving the bedroom and closing the door behind himself.

In less than thirty minutes, I changed out of my AC-DC shirt and jeans and into the dress, along with a pair of black leather three inch heeled boots. They were the same boots that I had been wearing when I had crushed Ville's toe on the flight to New York City in the plane bathroom about three years ago. I applied some eyeliner, light pink lip-gloss, and some silver eyeshadow. My dark wavy hair was pulled back into a neat ponytail, for once.

I walked out into the living room. Ville was sitting on the couch, kicking his leg absentmindedly. He looked up at me and smiled. He was wearing a white dress shirt, a plain black tie, and tight black pants. The sleeves to the dress shirt were folded halfway up his arms and the tie was draped around his shoulders, not even tied yet. His hair was done so it looked like he had just gotten out of bed: short, curly, and just everywhere. Ville's eyeliner was dark and thick. He looked like he just got back from the 'Join Me' video shoot, but with less make-up and not blue.

"I love it," I told him. He stood up, taking a black blazer off of the back of a chair and throwing it over his shoulder.

"Well, are you ready? You look beautiful," he said. Slowly, I looked around the apartment. Something was bound to go wrong, this night was going too perfectly.

"Yeah. Thanks. Where are the twins and Bam and the crew?" I questioned.

"The twins are at my parents' house and the crew decided to go out for the night, too," Ville told me. I grinned.

***

F.F. to 9 PM:

"Well, what do you think, sweetheart?" Ville asked me. We had been at a fancy restaurant for almost two hours. We had already eaten our meals and were now just talking.

I just can't understand what anyone says."

"You know some Finnish. Try to translate," Ville said. "Minulla oli mukavaa."

"Uh...I had a nice time?" Ville nodded.

"Sisaan."

"Hm...come in, please?" Ville nodded a second time.

"Sinulla on kauniit siniset silmat."

"You have...beautiful eyes. You have beautiful blue eyes." I smiled. Ville nodded a third time and I felt my face turn pink and I looked up at the sky. Our table was in the private section by a large window.

Our waitress walked up to us and rapidly said something in Finnish.

"Saanko laskein," Ville replied. The waitress nodded and Ville was soon handed our bill. He left some money on the table.

"Want me to take care of the tip?" I asked him. He shook his head.

"Brittany, the lady never pays for a meal," Ville told me as we put our coats on.

"Oh, okay." Standing up, I could barely walk in a straight line. Ville and I had drunk two bottles of white wine and half a bottle of champagne together.

Ten minutes after leaving the restaurant, Ville and I decided to cut through a park. Yawning, I sat down on a bench. There was a long, comfortable pause.

"Brittany?"

"Hmm?"

"There's something I want to ask you..." Ville trailed off.

"And what's that?" Slowly, Ville got down on one knee, pulling a little black box out of his pocket.

"Will you accept my hand in marriage?" he asked. My heart skipped a beat and I grinned before tackling Ville, our lips connecting as we hit the ground.

I sat on his stomach, his lip slowly oozing blood from a tiny cut.

"How's that for an answer?" I whispered in his ear.

The Next Morning:

Rolling over in bed to bury my face in Ville's chest, I realized that Ville was not next to me. I opened my eyes. It was ten o' clock the next morning and a dull headache seized my head. Sitting up in bed, I allowed the sheets to fall off of my naked body. Rubbing my temples, I thought about the previous night's events. They played through my head like a movie. I remembered how Ville's cold skin touched mine and I had giggled. We had made love last night.

My eyes drifted over to the closet. The door was partially open and through the crack, I saw a flashing red light. Wrapping the sheets around my body, I got out of bed, walking over to the closet, and throwing the doors open. Sitting on a pile of boxes was a video camera. Ville and I had made a sex tape without knowing about it.

Gripping the sheets even tighter around my body, I turned off the camera and picked it up, leaving the bedroom.

Rake, Raab, and Dunn were playing 'Mario Kart' in the living room. Dunn's eyes drifted to the camera, held tightly in my left fist.

"Hope you two enjoy your video," Dunn said, going back to playing the Nintendo 64.

"Will do," I replied, setting the camera in my duffel bag and going back into the bedroom. Ville's dress shirt, pants, boxers, and blazer littered the floor. The black dress I had worn was thrown over the back of a chair, my boots laying under the chair in a pile. Groaning, I changed into a pair of baggy carpenter jeans, a bra and underwear, and a black fuCKYou hoodie.

Leaving the bedroom again, I walked outside, stepping barefoot on the cold sidewalk. Within seconds my feet grew numb from the fallen snow I had tread upon. Ville stood on the sidewalk, being smart and wearing shoes. He was facing the road, the smoke from his lit cigarette swirling in a spiral over his shoulder.

"Poke!" I shouted, poking him in the middle of his back, causing him to suddenly jump up. He spun around.

"Morning, love," he smiled, kissing me innocently on the lips.

"Guess what?" I asked.

"What?"

"It's snowing!" I exclaimed. Ville had small piles of the white powdery flakes built up on his shoulders and in his hair.

"No," he said sarcastically. "It's cotton season in Helsinki! Don't you know how much cotton you can grow in the middle of a city?"

"Did you just make that up?"

"Yeah, why?"

"That was beautiful!" We both laughed. "Did you know there was a video camera in the closet this morning and all last night? It was on all last night and, as far as I know, it could see everything."

"Okay. We'll just have to make sure we never let anyone see that tape."

"I want to check it out," I grinned. We walked back inside. Novak, Raab, Rake, and Dunn were grinning.

"You think you two were loud enough last night?" Dunn asked. Novak hit the couch, making a loud smacking sound.

"Oh, Vvvvvaaallloooo! Harder! Harder!" Novak moaned in a high pitched girlie voice.

"Wow, Novak, I didn't know you felt that way about Ville. I know he's a good choice if guys are hittin' on him," I laughed.

"Back off, Nudie Novak, I'm getting married!" Ville said.

***

Ville and I had been home in New York for two weeks. It was probably two of the busiest weeks of our lives. Most of the time we spent on setting up the twins' rooms. Tyler's was completely sky blue, Rylee's was completely light pink. Their rooms were right next door to each other on the second floor.

My family visited the twins a lot. Only a month old, the twins were already more spoiled than Damian had ever been. Lily loves her new cousins. I think my brothers and my mom are starting to get along with Ville. My dad will always hate my boyfriends and/or husbands no matter how perfect. My grandmother thinks he's a complete freak.
Hurriedly packing, I shoved random clothes into a duffel bag. Ville watched from our bed as I dashed across the room, back and forth.

"Brittany, you need to relax," he told me. I stopped in the middle of the room. A loose piece of hair fell over my eyes and I blew it away.

"Ville, I have to catch a plane in like, two hours. If I don't leave for the airport in five minutes, I'll miss that flight. I can relax on the plane," I answered, throwing the strap of my bag over my shoulder. My heart was racing. Everything meshed together into one giant clump of stress. I had to fly to Atlanta, Georgia because Kaite was getting married, an arranged marriage to some rich, stuck - up snob. Ville and I drifted downstairs into the hallway, the twins in his arms and Damian standing beside him.

"Okay, Ville, if you need anything, call my mom. She, usually, loves to help. When I get back, we can start to plan the wedding, I swear. Damian, do your homework and to bed at nine - thirty while I'm gone."

My family stood in a line in front of me. Quickly, I ran down the line, kissing Rylee, Ville, Tyler, and then Damian goodbye.

***

"Wow. This place is - oh my god - gorgeous!" I breathed as Kaite gave me a tour of her fiancé's mansion, which she now lived in. She stroked a young, fat, orange tabby kitten, which purred with elation.

"I'm just that damn good," she grinned. Nervously, she set the kitten down. "But, I can't go through with this marriage."

"Oh, god. What did you do?" I asked. Looking around briefly, Kaite grabbed my hand and pulled me into the nearest closet. She locked the door and turned on the light.

"I'm pregnant with Bam's child," she said. My jaw dropped. The baggy sweatshirt and sweatpants, which Kaite wouldn't wear unless she was PMS-ing, finally made sense.

"How do you know?!"

"I slept with Bam last, stupid!"

"Does Bam know?"

"No."

"Does this idiot know?" I questioned, referring to her fiancé.

"No."

"How far along are you?"

"The doctor said around six months a while ago so this kid will be born around early next month."

"Boy or girl?"

"Boy."

"Kaite, just tell Bam before your wedding. Otherwise, Dumbass is gonna find out and gonna be pissed!" I told her.

"Tell Dumbass, too?!" I nodded. Looking around the closet, I plucked a piece of scrap paper and a dull pencil off of a shelf, handing it to Kaite.

"Write Dumbass an I'm - sorry - but - the wedding's - off - because - I - hate - you - letter and tonight we can pack up all your stuff. You can live with Ville and me in Hotel Valo until Bam takes you back."

***

F.F. To June 1, 2006:

Within three months, Ville and I had finished planning out the wedding. It was going to be huge, on the sandy beaches of a Bahama resort, and my parents were paying for everything.

Currently, it was eleven thirty at night. Kaite, Haley, my other friends, Jordan, Sarah, and Sam and I were in our pajamas in main room of our hotel suite. We had pushed all of the furniture up against the walls and sat in a semi-circle on the floor with tons of pillows and blankets. It was my bachelorette party and I had decided to have a sleepover.

"Kaite, what are you doing?" Haley asked. Kaite scooped another spoonful out of a gallon of ice cream.

"Spending time with my boyfriends, Ben and Jerry," she answered.

"I just want tomorrow to be over quickly," I said. Tomorrow, June second, was the wedding.

"Awww, our wittle Witty is all gwowed up!" Jordan said, wiping an imaginary tear from her eye.

"Fucking freezing! Fucking freezing! Fucking freezing!" Kaite chanted.

"Kaite, think of a warm place," I told her. Thinking over what I had said, I almost instantly took it back. "Oh, god!"

We all laughed.

"Ritt! Hurry up! The music is starting already!" Kaite hissed.

"Cool it, Kaite, I'm coming, just chill!" I said. Today was the big day, June second. Everything was going as planned. Kaite was the Maid of Honor, of course, and every one of the three hundred seats were filled. My whole family, my soon - to - be - in - laws, and friends of Ville and I were in those seats.

The wedding was on the shore of a white-sanded beach in the Bahamas. The sky was painted pale oranges and pinks, like watercolor on canvas.

Burton, who was playing his beloved keyboard, played a slow, soft tune, each note sounding as if it were coming from a pipe organ. All of the bride's maids had matching, long white dresses and their hair pulled back into neat buns.

The slow tune turned into a traditional weddings march and I curled my lip up in disgust, like Billy Idol would. I hated the stereotypical lifestyle. Jordan, Haley, Sarah, and Kaite laughed before starting down the marble staircase separately.

I felt my face burn crimson as I started down the marble staircase of the resort after Kaite, Sarah, Jordan, and Haley, arm in arm with my father. I smirked when I saw Sam, DiCo, Dunn, Raab, Rake, and Bam all dressed up.

***

Ville's P.O.V.:

Watching, I was speechless as my fiancé stepped regally down the pearly white marble staircase. Brittany had gotten her hair cut and done so that it was angled around her face, causing part of her hair to fall in place over her left eye. Her make-up was done softly; she was sporting blood-red lipstick, a little bit of blush, and a lilac - colored eyeshadow. The hair and make-up made her look older, but still held a glint of childish immaturity.

Brittany had linked arms with her father, holding a bouquet of roses, carnations, and many other flowers. Every step closer reminded me how much I yearned to touch her face, to feel her caress my cheek, to hear her whisper of sweet nothings, to taste the cherry chap-stick from her lips. But I held myself back, remaining calm as Brittany approached me, wrapping her arm around mine. Eager to get this over with, I turned to her, looking deep into her innocent ice blue eyes. She stared back at me and her eyes seemed to expand, like she was looking right through me. Taking a deep breath, I began my studied vows:

"It seems like only yesterday that my dearest friend, Bam, tried to create an intimate relationship with Miss Relta and I. She stood in front of me, an emotional goddess whose heart had been shattered many times by love. I had no intentions whatever, at the time, of getting more intimate than sharing an innocent kiss on the cheek. I had never dreamed I would ever fall head over heels in love with a girl who had such a negative outlook on the world, a girl with such a depressing appearance. Now, I know that I was mistaken as this young woman is presently standing in front of me, about to be titled Mrs. Ville Hermanni Valo. Inner beauty and personality are so much more rare and valuable than physical attributes. I love you, Brittany Ann Relta, and I am more than happy to spend the rest of my life with you," I told her.
Her eyes began to sparkle with oncoming tears.

***

Normal P.O.V.:

"Ah, hell. How could I possibly top that?" I laughed as I wiped away some tears, most likely smudging my eyeliner. A couple people laughed softly.

"Almost three years ago, July 2003, you and I met on account of a Mr. Bam Margera." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw everyone look at Bam. "I clung to life by thin threads without happiness and you were trying to get over problems with your girlfriend. You looked into my eyes and a single ray of hope and courage flooded my life. I had relied on that ray too much and it brought only pain and misery when you had to return to Finland. You had opened up a part of me, pried open the rigid shell which preserved my softest feelings and most painful memories. This cause me to think you were the only one whom I could share my inter-most feelings and thoughts with, and you would understand and listen to me. Now we're standing, together, on a beach in the Bahamas, waiting to be pronounced husband and wife. I love you, Ville Hermanni Valo, and I can't wait to establish a lifetime of happiness with you."

A small smile came across Ville's face as I jumped up, wrapping my arms around his neck and meeting him in a passionate kiss.

"I'm now, officially, the love of your life," I whispered in his ear.

***

The Reception:

I took another sip from a bottle of fine wine. Jordan and I were sitting at a table, along with Kaite, Jared, Jeff, and Dan. Bam was in the bathroom with Ville. Both were drunk as hell and were puking their guts out.

"How's Bam-Bam doing?" I asked Kaite. Brandon Cole Margera the second, Kaite and Bam's son, also known as 'Bam-Bam', had been born on April first. Figures, leave it to Bam to have his kid born on April Fool's Day. So far, Bam-Bam looked like his father and he had his mother's 'I'm - a - brat - and - I'm - proud' attitude.

"Bam-Bam's back with my parents in New York," Kaite sighed, running her finger along the rim of her champagne glass. She nervously glanced down at the wedding program for the millionth time.

"Well, if it isn't the Lysander Vampires." Jordan, Kaite, Jeff, Dan, Jared, and I looked up. Jussi, Jyrki, Timo Timo, Bazie, and Archzie of The 69 Eyes stood in front of us, smiling.

"Greetings, Helsinki Vampires," I laughed.

"You've changed a lot in two years," Jussi told me. The last time The 69 Eyes and Dreadful Illusions hung out, it was 2004. I heard someone breathing in my ear.

"Hello, Solitary Man No More," I told Ville. He was standing behind me, his head resting on my shoulder. He had horrible smelling breath, too. "You smell like cigarettes, Budweiser, peanut butter, and Cheetos."

"Yeah, I had PB & J and some Cheetos for lunch," Ville sighed, sitting in my lap. Kaite looked at her watch.

"You two have lasted twelve hours already." she said randomly.

"I'm Chad Nelson!" Dan, a.k.a. 'Twiggy', shouted. I playfully pushed Ville off of my lap. I stood up and he jumped on my back. I held onto his thighs and he wrapped his arms around my neck.

"I'm going to our suite," I yawned, carrying Ville on my back.

"I'll follow you two so you don't hurt yourselves in the process," Jordan said as she, Jeff, and Kaite followed Ville and me up the stairs and into our room.

Taking a deep breath, I took a whiff of the warm, seaside air. It was salty and had the faint aroma of freshly applied deodorant, beer, old pizza, and the scent of my shampoo. It was already noon. Ville and I had woken up about two hours previously, taking a nice hot shower. My hangover headache had dulled tremendously.

I danced around our hotel room in a towel to a random tune I had made up in less than ten seconds. Ville stared at me as he toweled himself dry. I threw myself down on the bed, gasping for air.

"Aren't I a riot?" I asked, grinning my trademark grin.

"I'll say," Ville laughed, pulling on a pair of boxers and a black Dreadful Illusions band t-shirt. I got dressed into a pair of Ville's boxers and a bra and black spaghetti strap tank top.

"Wearing your underwear is fun!" I exclaimed. He rose an eyebrow.

"Usually, I have something to say about your random outbursts, but I don't this time. I never really thought of my underwear as fun, but whatever you say," Ville said. I dove back onto the bed and Ville followed suit.

"Jeeves is my homeboy," Ville said spontaneously.

"Damn straight."

"Fa shoo."

"Fa shizzle, my nizzle, apocizzle, dizzle, pizzle, bizzle, zizzle, trizzle, yizzle, quizzle!" I exclaimed.

"You're being verizzle weirdizzle," Ville laughed.

Kaite ran into the room and I dove for my towel. "You previzzle!"

"Bam is driving me insane. I don't want to be tickled this early in the morning!" Kaite said, looking for a place to hide.

"Where's my bitch?" Bam asked as he, too, ran in the room.

"No one calls my bitch a bitch!" I insisted. Bam ended up chasing Kaite out of the room. Ville and I laid down again. Dico came in, holding a video tape.

"Well, since, you two were completely plowed since you said 'I do' yesterday -" he began.

"True that," Ville and I said in unison.

"-want to see the rest of your wedding?" he finished. Ville and I looked at each other before nodding. Dico popped the video into the VCR and left.

"Hey, Linde, where's the loving couple?" Mige, the cameraman, asked. Mige and Dico had rotated turns as the cameramen.

"Ritt is sitting down somewhere and Ville's in the men's room," Burton answered for Linde, taking the opportunity to talk.

"Going to find Ritt. Better wish myself luck," Mige mumbled on camera. "I'm walking up the stairs...look! Ritt's table is directly ahead!"

He walked a few feet before stopping. Something had caught his eye. He zoomed in slowly. My younger cousin's ass had gotten his attention.

(Oh, c'mon, Mige, she's way too young for you!" I told the television.)

Mige looked my cousin up and down before wolf - whistling.

"Damn, Ville has some hot new in-laws!" Reggie, my younger cousin, heard him. The camera was pointed downward as we heard a loud smack and Mige groan in pain. "Ville's in-laws are mean!" The camera returned to its upright position. "And the moment you've all been waiting for, duh duh duh da! The lucky bride!"

I was sitting in a chair, moving food around on my plate with my fork. I looked up at the camera.

"Damnit, Mige."

"Why aren't you with your Solitary Man No More?"

"Ida know."

"C'mon, Ritt! It's your wedding day!"

"So? Has it occurred to you that I'm completely shit-faced?!" Standing up, I walked away and Mige followed.

"Where ya goin'?" he questioned as we walked down a series of hallways.

"To get Ville." I pushed open the door to the men's room. My male relatives looked up and quickly left. Now, only Jussi, Bam, and Ville remained. Bam was leaning on the door of Ville's stall. By the intensity of Ville's retching, I could tell that he was more wasted than I was.

"Villip!"

"Brattany!"

"I'm bored! Let's get a room and disappear for a few hours!"

"I'd love to, but I'm a little busy now," Ville told me.

"Aw, you're no fun!"

"I'm gonna leave you two alone now," Mige said, walking out of the bathroom.

"Any wishes for Ville and Ritt?" Mige asked random guests. Right now, he was talking to my parents and Ville's parents.

"Just have fun with him, Ritt," my mom smiled. "And Ville, you have cajones if you married her." Mige walked up to Dunn, Gas, Burton, Kaite, and Haley after Ville's parents wished Ville lucked.

"Good luck," Haley and Kaite said in unison.

"Hey, Ritt! Remember when we made love?" Dunn asked the camera, laughing.

(Ville looked at me with a strange look on his face before looking back at the TV.)

The camera shut off for a few seconds before being turned back on.
"Greetings, Earthlings. This is Dico and I shall be your cameraman for a portion of the evening," Dico told the camera. It was his turn to be in control. Even though the camera was only off for a few seconds, several hours had passed. The sun was setting, casting lazy rays upon the wedding party. The clear blue ocean was colored a bright orangey-pink as the sun slowly set below the horizon. The sky was the same color as the water and the few clouds were big and puffy, like cotton balls large enough to stretch across the sky.

We all had long changed out of our formal outfits, so now I was wearing a baggy black fuCKYou t-shirt and carpenter jeans while Ville wore tight black pants and his Rolling Stones wife-beater with his beanie on his head. We wore matching black and white Converse.

The two of us were dancing on a table to "Beneath the Blue" which was what The 69 Eyes were playing. They had been asked to perform on a temporary stage.

After the two of us finished the Cotton-Eyed-Joe, we seemed to disappear. But not for long. There was the shrill screech of bottle rockets and the roaring boom of M180s. We had found the supply of fireworks.

Red, yellow, blue, green, purple, and white sparks created fountains high off the ground as the fireworks corrupted in the sky. Ville lit a firework and...

"STOP, DROP AND ROLL! STOP, DROP AND ROLL!" my grandmother screamed. She jogged onto the beach with a fire extinguisher. My parents, Kari, and Anita followed her. Ville had lit a firework too close to me and a stray spark had caught my shirt on fire. I rolled around in the sand, trying to get rid of the fire.

"Ow! HOT! HOT! HOT! HOT! HOT!" I shouted. I was showered with the stuff from the fire extinguisher.

"Haha!" Ville laughed, pointing at me drunkenly.

"You are insane!" Anita yelled. My parents, Kari, and Anita basically made sure I was okay and didn't care about Ville at all at the time. Knowing Ville was feeling neglected, I hugged him and licked his cheek affectionately. He smiled and wiped my saliva off of his face.

"I'm so loved!" he exclaimed.

"No more fireworks! You two are gonna kill yourselves!" my
grandmother screamed. To be a smart-ass, my dad started to light the rest of the fireworks.

Ville and I sat a few feet away and we watched the rest of the fireworks.

"Dumb and Dumber!" Raab called. The two of us looked up to see what he wanted. "You guys have to cut your wedding cake!" We jumped up. Our wedding cake was a five-layer, pure chocolate cake.

"You two have to feed each other," Dico exclaimed, keeping the camera amazingly steady throughout all of the 'excitement'. We cut two pieces out of the cake. My innocent smile curled into my devilish grin.

"Hey, Ville. Deja vu!" I laughed as I smashed my piece of cake into his face. He did the same to me and soon it turned into a food-fight.

Ville picked up the cake's top layer and threw it at me. Since he was not sober, I only had to step out of the way to dodge the cake. It ended up hitting my mother. She shrieked.

"BRITTANY ANN!" she yelled, rubbing frosting out of her eyes. Ville and I looked at each other and grinned. Then, we picked up the rest of the cake, held it over my mother's head, and dropped it. She was now chocolate-coated.

"VILLE HERMANNI!" Anita yelled. She ran over to my mother with a couple rolls pf paper towels and started to apologize for Ville's behavior.

"No problem, Anita. Ritt was a handful, too," my mother told Anita. Ville and I laughed and we kissed.

The camera turned off again, but this time, it didn't turn back on. The video was finally over.

Ville's P.O.V.: F.F. to August 16th:

Rylee let out a shrill cry. Groaning, I rolled out of bed. Standing up, I picked my infant daughter up and out of her portable crib. Tyler and Rylee were staying in our bedroom until Brittany's father and brothers finished the twins' rooms, since they had to be redone, as Brittany had insisted. Already, the twins were five months old and their rooms were barely halfway finished. Sighing, I held Rylee to my chest and stroked her head, which was covered with a thick, wavy hair.

"I'm confused about everything Ry-Ry, but don't tell your mother I said that," I told Ry. She buried her face in my chest, just like her mother would. "She thinks I'm the world's greatest father when I can't even change a diaper. She believes my paternal instincts will kick in sooner or later and I have faith in her to be telling the truth."

"I can't wait until you can talk," I smiled. "Knowing you, you'll have your mother's mouth and then things will never be boring." Rylee squirmed impatiently. Setting her down on the floor, I followed her and sat on my butt, my legs crossed in front of me. Rylee crawled over to me, sitting on her butt in front of me, her hands reaching skyward. I held out my hands. She wrapped her fingers around both of my index fingers and used them to pull herself up. Still holding onto my fingers, Rylee was standing up. Smiling, she shakily stepped forward. I watched my daughter learn one of her first lessons: babies are built so close to the ground so that they don't hurt themselves so badly when they fall.
Rylee's tiny hands slapped the hardwood bedroom floor. Her knees and palms broke her fall. I picked her up. Ry looked at me with pale green eyes and gave me a toothless grin. I couldn't help but laugh.

"I guess that means you're okay?" I asked. She squealed and clapped her diminutive hands together.

"See? Paternal Instincts are kicking in there, buddy." Both Ry and I looked up. Brittany was standing in the doorway, Tyler on her hip. "They're a little late, but they're there." Picking up Rylee, I stood up.

My eyes wandered from Brittany to Tyler. Tyler's eyes were red and puffy, as if he had been crying. He reached out for me and the tears began to fall.

"Daddy!" he said, crying. Ry and Ty were traded so now I was holding Ty and Brittany was holding Rylee.

"What did they do to you?" I asked Tyler. I looked at Brittany. "Did they torture him at the doctor's office?"

"He had to get some shots, poor little thing. Took three doctors to hold him down and I couldn't even watch," she replied. Today, Brittany had taken Ty to the pediatrician for a checkup. Rylee had been taken the previous week.

***

"Drunk on shadows and lost in a lie..." my cell phone's ringtone went off, it's volume as high as it could go.

"What the fuck?!" Ville jumped up, kicking my cell phone off of the bedside table. It flew across the room, hitting the wall.

"Nice, Ville," I said sarcastically, getting out of bed to retrieve my cell phone.

"WUT?" I shouted into the mouthpiece.

"Ritt, good morning," Seth greeted.

"Not too sure about the 'good' part, but it's morning. Damnit, Seth, it's five AM and it's a Sunday. Whatcha callin' for?"

"Well, you know how I'm the superintendent of Baldwinsville Central Schools?" Seth asked. Seth had been the superintendent and athletics' director for almost four years.

"Yes, I know. No, I don't care. Why?" I sighed heavily.

"Because, little sister, I am willing to make a bet with you."

"I'm listening."

"Since you dropped out of school, I am inviting you to take two weeks at the high school. If you finish, you get your diploma. Oh, and you can bring along some friends so you don't drop out of this two week course."

"Did Mom tell you to do this?" I asked.

"No."

"Okay. I'll do it. Now shut up and let me go back to sleep," I demanded.

"Right, 'asleep', you and Ville were probably doing it." I rolled my eyes.

"Oh, yeah. We were so doing it. Instead of the 'talk', we decided to give our kids a visual demonstration," I said sarcastically.

Ville's P.O.V.: F.F. to August 29th

Everything seemed too quiet. Then again, Brittany wasn't around. She had gone to her parents' house. The kids were staying at Seth's for the night. Something just didn't feel right at all.

It was ten-thirty at night. Brittany had been gone for over six hours. Usually, if she knew she would be gone for this long, she would have taken me with her.

I heard the front door open and I went to see who it was. Haley and Jordan, two of our many roommates, walked into the kitchen.

"That took forever," Haley groaned, walking over to the refrigerator and sticking her head inside.

"Didn't really help with that car accident," Jordan said.

"There was a car accident?" I questioned. They nodded. "Where?"

"Like, two minutes away from here. A car flipped over and I heard they're having a hard time getting that girl out," Haley told me. "Looked like it was a black SUV." My jaw dropped. Brittany had rented a black SUV since the hummer was having some engine trouble.

My cell phone rang. It broke the silence, causing the three of us to jump. Taking it out of my back pocket, I flipped it open and held it to my ear. I walked into the living room, looking out the large window into the night. A flash of lightning lit up the sky and the rain continued to heavily fall.

"Hello?"

"Is this a Mr. Ville Valo I'm speaking with?"

"Uh, yeah," I answered.

"I'm sorry to say, but your wife seems to have gotten into a car accident. We've been trying to get her out for about half an hour, but she seems to be pinned to the seat by the airbag." I flipped my phone closed and ran into the kitchen, throwing my shoes on and running outside. I ran down the street, soaked with rain by the end of the driveway.

Five minutes into my sprint, I was wheezing and I could hear sirens. A car drove up next to me, but I kept running.

"Wow, you and Ritt are perfect for each other, you idiot," Haley said. I looked up. Jordan was driving and Haley was in the passenger's seat.

"I thought you said that the car accident was only two minutes away?" I asked.

"Did I tell you that Jordan has a lead foot?" Haley asked. "Valo, she ain't bound by a speed limit. It's about ten minutes away if you run."

"Valo, just jump in," Jordan told me. I jumped into the backseat. "And you forgot your inhaler." Haley tossed me my inhaler and I took a puff.

The sirens grew louder. Impatiently, I tapped my fingers on the glass of the window. My heart pounded as I saw the flashing of lights illuminating a pile of twisted metal, an ambulance, and several police cars off the side of the road. Sure enough, that twisted metal had the features of the black SUV.

Not even waiting for Jordan to fully stop the car, I jumped out, running across the road and over to the remains of the SUV. I felt nauseous as I ran over to the SUV. With each step, my legs grew more and more like jello. No, I kept thinking. No.

Several men were trying to get the driver out of the car. Silently, I prayed it wasn't Brittany. Pushing the men out of the way, my heart was crushed when I realized all of my worst nightmares had become reality.
Brittany was pinned to her seat by the airbag. She was upside down in the driver's seat. A giant gnash on her forehead and many tiny cuts on her face oozed blood freely and her bottom lip was sliced open.

Tears came to my eyes when I noticed she was awake and suffering. She, too, was crying.

"Am - am I gonna die?" she sobbed. I bent down so we were eye to eye. I held her hand and, with my other hand, I tried to clear away the blood on her face. I looked away, afraid to answer and give her false hope, already expecting the worst.

"Ville," she cried, sharply and helplessly. "It hurts."

"What hurts, sweetheart?" I asked. She jerked her head downward, motioning to something. My eyes followed her jerk. What I saw made my stomach queasy. A tree branch, around three inches thick, protruded from her chest. More blood was added to an already large pool with every heartbeat. Since she was upside down, the blood on her face wouldn't stop flowing. Warm, salty tears blurred my vision and I noticed the front of the SUV had tried to take on a fairly large oak tree. "You hit a tree." Slowly, she nodded, wincing.

"Ville?"

"Yes, darling?"

"I - I love you..." Her eyes closed and the men pushed me back; they still had a chance to save her.

***

Normal P.O.V.:

Everything went black. My whole body went entirely numb. All of the excruciating pain melted away and I could feel my memories slipping through my fingers as I drifted off into a different world, like a spiritual realm.

I'm dead, it's all over. Damian and the twins shouldn't have to go through this. I hope Ville and my parents can take care of them. I regret everything I've ever done to hurt anyone. I just wish it didn't have to end this way... I thought.

"Oh, I see your scars,
I know where they're from,
Sensually carved and bleeding
Until you're dead and gone.
I've seen it all before,
beauty and splendor torn,
It's when Heaven turns to black,
and Hell to white,
Right so wrong
and wrong so right, yeah," Ville's melodic voice sang; I looked around. Ville was standing about five feet away from me. I was on my knees and Ville was looking down at me. I joined in.

"Feel it turning your heart into stone,
Feel it piercing your courageous soul,
Your beyond redemption
No one's gonna catch you when you fall." I looked away.

"It's over, I'm dead. Gone," I whimpered. "I'll die in that stupid rental car and then I'll decay and go to Hell."

"You don't have to."

"I'll be able to see you, Damian, and the twins again?" I asked. Smiling, Ville nodded and extended an arm.

"C'mon, love," he said. I extended my own arm. Ville's fingers intertwined with mine and he hoisted me to my feet. My body was suddenly numbed again and I got a tingling sensation like I was falling...

***

My eyes fluttered open and I was nearly blinded by the stereotypical bright, well-lit hospital room. Steadily, I sat up, only to be overcome with the incredible pain of bruised ribs.

"Fuckkkk," I breathed, holding my ribcage. Glancing at the rest of the room, I noticed I was alone.

"One, two...three!" I swung my legs over the side of the hospital bed and jumped off. My knees buckled beneath me and my legs turned to mush. My hands slapped the hard, white floor, breaking my fall.

"Let's try that again." Standing up, I noticed a long IV needle protruding from the crease of my elbow. My stomach lurched as I gently pulled the needle out of my arm. The door opened and I looked up. In walked Ville, Jordan, Haley, Jeff, Bam, and Kaite.

"All I remember is...the car...and the airbag...and Ville...What happened?" I questioned. I steadied myself, holding onto the side of the hospital bed. Ville gently wrapped his arms around my waist, making sure I didn't fall.

"The car accident. You slid off of the road, flipped, and completely annihilated a tree," Haley said.

"I hate rain," I said. "Do my parents know?"

"Yeah. Your mom's out in the hall, crying," Jordan said. Ville helped me back into bed.

"I should walk out of here right now," I declared.

"You only have a hospital gown on," Haley replied.

"I don't care. I'll run out of here butt-naked if I'm that desperate. But that's not a good idea."

'Why? Your butt isn't that scary," Ville told me.

"That's not what I meant. If I run outta here naked, people will go blind because my ass is so pale!" I laughed.

F.F. to September 6:

"I'm going to wake up Ville. We have so-called 'school' in an hour and a half," I said, sipping my coffee. Haley and Jordan nodded, splitting a box of Cap'n Crunch and not even paying attention to what I said.

With my trusty video camera in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other, I walked up to our room. Ville lay asleep in the middle of the bed. He was wearing only boxers and he had all of the blankets off the bed and on the floor. Since Ville talked in his sleep, I decided to have some fun.

"Ville, where's Bam? I can't find him!" I said.

"He's in the bathroom..."

"What is he doing in the bathroom?"

"Singing about potatoes..."

"Ville, do you know where you are?"

"Behind the dancing pineapple...and the doggy."

"Is it a pretty doggy?"

"...Yes."

"What color is the doggy?"

"Purpleeee..."

"What's your name?"

"George."

"Really? Well, 'George', OH-EM-GEE! LOOK! A BUNNY!" Ville giggled.

"Bunnies are as evil as kitties." Snickering, I gently shook him awake.

"Whhhhaaaa...?" he groaned.

"Are you behind the dancing pineapple?" I asked, laughing. His eyes opened and he looked up at me.

"Are you feeling alright?" he asked. I nodded.

"Sort of an inside joke...with myself," I told him.

"Oh." He rolled over. "Well, good night."

"We have school today, 'member?" I reminded.

"Ugghhhhh."

"Don't you 'uggghhh' me, Mister Valo. You agreed to tag along. And so did Dan, Jeff, and Haley. At least Jordan can babysit while we're gone," I said. Dan and Jeff, like Jordan and Haley, were also our roommates. Since the house has twelve bedrooms, I thought the bedrooms should be occupied. Empty rooms in a giant house creeped me out. Also, having four out of the six band members made it easier to collect everyone for tours. Yes, four band members: Dan, Jeff, and I, but also Jordan, the newest member. Jordan took over keyboards for Jared and Jared moved to guitar. Dan took over bass since Matt died.

"What are you waiting for? Chop chop, let's go! Get in the shower! Get dressed!" I told Ville. He groaned and finally got out of bed.

"You're not dressed either," Ville grumbled, walking into our bathroom. I rolled my eyes before changing into baggy cargo pants and a black Dreadful Illusions t-shirt that said:
'Dreadful Illusions
Dilapidated
Disgrace
Diabolic
Disgust
Disaster" in red print. Since Dreadful Illusions was often abbreviated DI (Die), 'D' and 'I' were often the beginning letters of words that described the band. Such words were often on band shirts.

"Ville! Hurry up!" I shouted ten minutes later.

"Okay, okay," he sighed, walking out of the bathroom butt naked with the towel wrapped around his head.

"You're NAKIE!" I laughed.

"You're such a dork," he replied, pulling on a pair of clean boxers. He got dressed in a black CKY t-shirt and a pair of tight jeans. Twisting up his towel, I snapped him on the butt with it.

"Homeward, James!" I yelled, leading Ville down the stairs with the towel. We went into the kitchen after I threw the towel in the washer in the main bathroom. Dan, Jordan, and Haley sat at the kitchen table, drinking coffee. Jordan store off into space while Haley read the newspaper and Dan absentmindedly scratched his head.

"Dan, Valo, what do you want for breakfast?" I asked, walking over to the refrigerator.

"HOT POCKET!" Dan shouted. He has this weird obsession with Hot Pockets. I looked in the freezer, pulling out a box of pepperoni and cheese Hot Pockets and putting the box in the microwave.

"I don't see how you can eat Hot Pockets at six in the morning, Dan." I shrugged. "But whatever suits you best, I don't care." I looked at Ville. "And you want?"

"Eggos," he replied. Going back into the freezer, I pulled out a brand new box of Eggo waffles.

"I want some, too," Haley said.

"Ditto," Dan and Jordan answered in unison. Sighing heavily, I pulled out a second new box of Eggos. Yes, we had a great supply of food stored up.

Getting out forks, knives, and plates, I set the table. I put the giant stack of warm Eggos in the middle of the table, the syrup beside the stack. Dan had finished his two Hot Pockets and was eager to dive into the Eggos. I sat down, fork in hand.

"Ready...set...GO!" we counted down in unison. On 'GO', the five of us dove onto the Eggos. In nearly thirty seconds, everyone had declared Eggos they had speared as their own. Now, only one Eggo remained on the centered plate. Ville and I briefly glanced at each other before stabbing the waffle at the same time.

"Leggo my Eggo, Valo!" I said.

"I had it first!" Ville insisted.

"Nuh uh!"

Yuh huh!"

"You always eat them all up. You have to share, Ville!"

"I called it," Ville said.

"When did we call dibs on it?" I asked.

"Right now: one, two, three, DIBS!"

"No fair!" Jordan rolled her eyes before reaching forward with her knife and cutting the waffle into two halves. We each took a half.

"You two are sad," Haley said.

"Sad llamas," Dan said. The doorbell rang, but we all just sat there, eating our Eggos.

"Oh, don't all rush for the door at once," Haley said sarcastically, getting up to get the door. Jeff walked into the kitchen in a pair of boxers and a white wife beater.

"Twiggy, where's my cell phone?" Jeff asked Dan. Dan shrugged. Jeff looked at the empty plate in the middle of the table and frowned. "Aw, you guys had Eggos without me?"

"You know you still love us, Jeffrey Mathew Strong!" I said.

"Ritt, your mom's here!" Haley yelled, walking into the kitchen, followed by my mother. My grandmother, too, followed.

"Oh, not you!" Ville groaned. My grandmother stomped over to Ville and hit him on the back of the head.

"Have respect for your elders," she grumbled. Jordan, Jeff, Dan, Haley, Ville, and I all looked at each other. Suddenly, the six of us dropped to our knees and began to bow to her.

"Oh, dear elder! How we respect you so!" we chanted. My mother shook her head and laughed as her mother-in-law turned crimson. My grandmother scowled and walked over to the kitchen sink. She eyed all of the dirty dishes.

"This place is a pig-sty! You're lucky I'm here for the day. I should've brought a gun to shoot all the rats with," she growled. I rolled my eyes. She started to do the dished manually.

"Ya know, there's this fancy new invention called a dish washer," I told her.

"Those don't clean the dishes fully," my grandmother hissed. Looking at the clock, I noticed it was six-thirty, but Damian was not up yet.
"I'm going to get Damian," I said, walking up to the third floor, which had three bedrooms (Damian's, Twiggy's, and Jeff's) and an unused spare. Walking down the hall, I pushed open the door of the bedroom that belonged to my eleven year old son.

Dirty clothes littered the floor. Band posters covered the walls. The jet black curtains of the room's giant portrait window were closed.

Damian's drum set sat in a corner. A large half-pipe, which he slept on, took up half of the room. Damian was asleep, curled up in a ball on a mattress in the middle of the half-pipe.

Sitting behind the drum-set, I took the drumsticks and rapidly beat upon the snare. I nailed on the cymbal and played a loud, random, offbeat, obnoxious tune. Damian turned on the light and yawned.

"Get dressed or you'll be-" I hit a drum on each word/letter I said. "-L-A-L-A-L-A-T-E-, LATE LATE LATE!" Damian groaned as he pulled on a pair of baggy shorts and an AC-DC t-shirt. He grabbed his backpack and left the room. Turning off the light, I followed him down the stairs.

"Didja brush your teeth?" I asked.

"Yep."

"Comb your hair?"

"Uh-huh."

"Change your underwear?"

"Mom!" Damian shouted.

"Damian!" I yelled.

"CHAD NELSON!" Twiggy exclaimed.

"What's all the yelling about?" Haley asked.

"Damian didn't change his underwear," I teased. I planted a wet kiss on Damian's cheek and he wiped it off. "First day of school. Aren't cha excited?"

"Not really," Damian said.

"Oh, right. You're going to Ray this year," I said. Ray was sixth and seventh. The school Dan, Haley, Jeff, Ville, and I would be going to for a couple weeks would be Baker, the high school, for tenth, eleventh, and twelfth.

"They shove your head down the toilet for the first day at Ray," Twiggy teased.

"I've always hated Ray. I always got a crappy toilet," Jeff continued.

"Oh, the water sucked. It hurt when it goes in your ears for the first time," Jordan said.

"You'll get used to it," I added.

"Don't worry, Damian, they don't give you swirlies in school," Haley assured him.

"So, Kristi, you and Jane Ann will be staying here all day?" Jordan asked my mom. My mom nodded. Jordan turned to face me. "I'm coming to school with you guys."

We went outside to wait for the bus, which came about thirty seconds after we all got out there. Damian's bus came before ours so I made sure to give Damian a great big hug in front of all of his friends before he got on the bus.

"This bus sucks!" Twiggy complained. Out of his backpack, he pulled out his CD player, which was already playing Marilyn Manson's Mechanical Animals. Twiggy and Haley listened to Twiggy's CD player. Ville had his head in my lap and I ran my fingers through his hair. I, myself, pulled out my iPod, turning it to 'King of Rock n' Roll'.

"I'm gonna give you what you need!
I'm gonna make your ears bleed!
Rock 'n' roll, rock 'n' roll, I'm the king of rock 'n' roll!" Ville and I sang along.

"Hey, kings of rock 'n' roll, keep it down. I'm trying to listen to myself think," Jeff told us.

"Wouldn't that just been elevator music?" Jordan asked.

"Shut up, Jordan," Jeff mumbled, knowing she was probably right.

Second Period English:

"Hello, class. I'm Mrs. Chandler, and I'll be your English teacher this year," the teacher, a short, squat, friendly woman greeted. Yawning, I looked down at my schedule for the millionth time.

The class started with attendance. Could this be any more boring?! I thought. Dan, Jordan, Haley, Jeff, Ville, and I had chosen the desks in the back row. From the window to the door, it was Haley, Jeff, Dan, Jordan, Ville, and then myself.

"OK, everyone's here. Now I guess it's time for our first assignment," Mrs. Chandler began. There was a chorus of groans as she started to explain the assignment...

***

Fourth Period Math:

"Ville, Brittany, separate yourselves, please," Miss Bolt, the bitch, asked. Ville and I had been sitting at a two-person table, talking all period. Picking up our books, we went to opposite sides of the room, Ville sitting next to Jordan and I sat next to Twiggy.

On our first day, we had to take about five pages of notes, just in Math. Apparently, they're doing algebra.

"Whoa, when did they add letters?" I heard Ville ask Jordan.

"Psst, Ville! How's the weather over there?" I loudly whispered.

"A bit warm," he replied. Twiggy raised his hand.

"Miss Bolt! Can I pass love notes to Ville?" Twiggy asked the teacher.

***

Before Period 8/9 Health:

The six of us skipped down the hallway. It was after lunch and we just had to eat a sad excuse for chicken tenders.

"So you can call the police, I'm sorry about my manners, but you see. Well, I'm a bit drunk as you can see; I bet you would like to undress me!" we sang The Sound's 'Rock 'n' Roll'.

Walking over to our lockers, we opened them and saw the flashes of several cameras. The paparazzi was accordingly doing an article about the six of us going to the local high school for two weeks. Bullshit. Our faces would only end up on the cover of Kerrang magazine when one of us does something outrageous.

"Why don't we skip the next class?" Jordan suggested. "After all, it's only health."

"OK," Jeff said. The bell rung and we all went in different directions. Except for Ville; he just followed me around. We walked until we reached the nearest set of bathrooms.

After briefly looking around to see if there were any teachers patrolling the halls, I pushed open the door to the girls' bathroom and signaled for Ville to follow me inside. He just stood there, looking down at me with a pair of pale green orbs.

"Well, c'mon!" I urged. Ville shook his head and pointed at the girls sign on the door. I rolled my eyes.

"There's no way in Hell that I would go inside a girls' bathroom," Ville enforced.

"I used to say I'd never forget to take my birth control pills, yet I have three kids," I replied. Standing behind Ville, I pushed him into the bathroom.

"Why are we in here anyways?" he asked as he sat, leaning against a wall.

"'Cause I need a fag so badly that it hurts," I answered as I pulled out a new pack of cigarettes out of my pocket. I took out a cigarette, lit it, and stuck it in my mouth, inhaling deeply. Blowing smoke out of the corner of my mouth, I watched the smoke drift throughout the bathroom, spiraling as it floated underneath the door.

"I need to quit," I thought aloud as I dropped the cigarette onto the floor, stubbing it out with the tip of my sneaker. Ville looked at me quizzically.

"We're inside a building, you know," he said. I shrugged. A last wisp of gray smoke ascended from the stubbed out cigarette. The smoke swirled around the fire detector, setting off the alarm and activating the sprinkler-system. The high pitched whine of the fire alarm echoed throughout the building as Ville and I were drenched in the ice cold water that was supposed to douse the so-called 'fire'.

Ville and I ran out of the bathroom, getting lost in a crowd of confused pupils and teachers. Ville's cold fingers intertwined with mine as we slipped out of an exit.

Walking a fair distance away from the high school, the teachers began to exchange nervous glances. They were not told that there would be a fire drill today.

After wringing out my hair, I looked up. Seth, fuming, stomped over to Ville and me. Haley, Jeff, Dan, and Jordan looked down at their feet shamefully as they walked behind him. Along with being the district superintendent and athletics director, Seth was also the principal of the high school.

"Ritt, do you know anything about this fire drill?!" Seth shouted. I shrugged.

"You're the principal here, not me," I replied smartly.

"All of you - detention - rest of week," Seth hissed at the six of us.

"OK, OK. Don't get your panties all bunched up," I told him. He glared.

F.F. Two Weeks:

Excitedly, Twiggy, Jordan, Ville, Haley, Jeff, and I jumped of the bus. It was Friday of the second week and we were finally through with school. The six of us sprinted up the driveway, nearly crashing into the front door.

"ALL MY FRIENDS ARE DEAD! ALL MY FRIENDS ARE DEAD! YOU GOT SMACKED IN THE HEAD! ALL MY FRIENDS ARE DEAD!" I yelled as soon as we stepped inside. Holding my diploma, I ran into the living room, sitting on the couch. My mother was sitting in the recliner, watching the twins try to stand, and holding on to each other for support. I held the diploma above my head.

"MOMMY! LOOKIE AT WHAT I HAVE!" I exclaimed, handing her the diploma.

"Very nice," she said, clearing disappointed since I could've had my diploma ten years ago. Jeff, Haley, Twiggy, and Jordan sat down on the floor, ready to go to sleep. Ville jumped over the back of the couch, landing in my lap. I groaned. He wrapped his arms around my neck and gave me a puppy dog pout.

"You have it so easy," I told him.

"It ain't easy being sexy every day of the year," he replied. I rolled my eyes. "You have it way easier, sweetie."

"No. I have to cook and clean and pay the bills and make sure Twiggy doesn't run away and get lost, or hurt himself, and care for the kids, and protect them from drugs, alcohol and sex," I said. Ville laughed.

"Yeah, I forgot the twins were heroin-addicts and Damian's an alcoholic."

"Fine, I don't have to do that yet. But now I have to keep them healthy, and fed, and CLEAN."

"Will you two stop bickering? Aren't you supposed to agree on everything?" Haley asked.

"Why don't you two just switch places for a couple days? Ya know, 'walk a couple miles in each other's shoes'?" my mom suggested.

"Well, it's on! I wanna run a marathon in Ville's shoes. He doesn't have to do much," I said.

"I'll gladly walk in her shoes. When does this switch start?" Ville asked.

"Tomorrow morning," I told him.

***

Ville's P.O.V.: The Next Morning:

"Get up! Day one!" Brittany said, gently, shaking me awake.

"Phloof," I mumbled.

"Today's Saturday! Grocery day!" she chimed. Groaning, I got out of bed. Digging through our underwear drawer, she tossed me a pair of her underwear and took out a pair of my Spongebob undies, putting them on her head and dancing around the room.

"They're underwear!" I laughed, putting hers on. I also changed into a pair of her baggy cargo pants, which stopped at my knees, like shorts. We laughed. She pulled on a pair of my jeans, which she was walking on since they were so long. Brittany rolled them up.

"Do I have to wear a bra?" I whined. She grinned, tossing me a hot pink bra that said 'Supergirl' on the back. I put it on without protest as she pulled my Rolling Stones wife-beater on.

"Your boobs are faulty," she said, poking the bra, the cups collapsing at her touch. She grabbed a roll of paper towels from the bathroom and started to stuff it.

"I hate your life," he told me. When that ordeal was done, I put on a Dreadful Illusions t-shirt, black with Dreadful Illusions in white print. Then, she straightened my hair and curled hers.

"Ponytail, or pigtails?" she asked. I crossed my arms in front of my chest and didn't say anything. It felt weird having new 'boobs'. "Maybe I should braid it! Even better! I could stick a big floppy bow on your head!"

"Having fun, are you?" I asked. She shrugged, pulling my hair back into a ponytail. We both added some eyeliner and Brittany made me wear mascara, so my eyelashes could attempt to compete with hers, who were naturally long.

For shoes, Brittany had me paint my toenails red and put on a pair of flip-flops. She put on a pair of Converse.

"Onward tall Finnish dude!" she said. We went downstairs, nearly killing ourselves. Before we went into the kitchen, she placed my beanie on her head.

"Oh, my god of fuck," Jordan said.

"Marilyn Manson? Where?!" Twiggy asked.

"We so need a picture of this!" Haley exclaimed, taking a snapshot with her camera phone.

***

F.F. A Few Hours:

"Ville, you and Twiggy take Rylee and get the groceries," Brittany told me, handing me a list of groceries before setting Ry in the front of the grocery cart. "I'll take Tyler and I need to get Jordan's anti-depressants refilled. I'll meet you at the car in about an hour, k?" I nodded. She smiled and kissed me on the cheek before picking up Tyler and walking away. I watched her head in the opposite direction, letting Ty walk beside her. Yes, Ry and Ty could finally walk. Smiling, I turned to look down at Rylee.

"C'mon! We needs Hot Pockets!" Twiggy said, walking away. I followed him and he added about fifteen boxes of various flavored Hot Pockets to the shopping cart.

'Hot Pockets for Dan', which was on the grocery list, was crossed off.

"We need Eggos, milk, bread, eggs, syrup, bagels, turkey, ham, cheese, mayo, vanilla ice cream for Jordan, strawberries for Haley, diapers for the twins, hair gel for Jeff, a restock on razors and shaving cream, deodorant for everyone, popcorn, oranges, apples, mangoes, pineapple, bananas..." I began, only halfway down the list. "...Wipes, toilet paper, paper towels, shampoo for Haley, butter, Ranch dressing, lettuce, baby carrots, baby food, Kraft mac and cheese, frozen pizzas, spaghetti, laundry detergent, Pop-tarts, and..." I muffled a laugh.

"What?" asked Twiggy.

"I guess the girls are feeling menstrual. There are about eight different types of tampons and pads on here," I laughed. "You can get them, Twiggy." I handed Dan the list and he shoved it back into my hands.

"I'm not going there!" he replied. "You're the ladies' man. You get 'em."

"How about we both get them, but act like we do not know each other?" I suggested.

"OK. I'll go down that aisle a few minutes after you," he answered. I pushed him into the ladies personal hygiene aisle.

"I feel like a complete pervert on some sicko scavenger hunt," Twiggy said as we searched the shelves for the requested tampons and pads. I laughed. "They should ask Jeff to do this. He has no problems with this stuff." He took a package of the listed ultra-thin pads and placed them in the cart.

"It's probably Jeff who uses them," I joked. We looked at each other with creeped out looks on our faces and burst out laughing. Dan wiped tears from his eyes as he held onto a shelf for support. He must've leaned on the shelf a little too much because the shelf collapsed and he was showered in pads, panty liner, and tampons. He quickly got up and we ran out of that aisle, laughing until our sides hurt.

"I don't like the drugs, but the drugs like me. Don't like the drugs, the drugs, the drugs..." he nervously sang.

"Trying to calm down?" I asked. He nodded.

"Valo!" Twiggy and I turned around. Brittany walked up to us, Tyler in her left arm and in her right arm she held some groceries. She added the groceries to the nearly full cart. "Wow. You guys got tampons and pads?" Twiggy and I nodded.

"We got them early to get them over and done with," Twiggy told her.

"Didn't you guys see the note at the bottom? It said that I would get the pads and tampons so you guys wouldn't feel embarrassed." Dan and I looked at each other, completely shocked. We looked at the list. Sure enough, at the bottom was a short note.

***

Normal P.O.V.: After Shopping

"Oops, I did it again! I played with your heart, got lost in the game! Oh, baby, baby!" Twiggy and Ville sang in high-pitched voices along with the radio. Ville was riding shotgun beside me and Dan was in the backseat with the twins. The twins applauded and giggled.

"You two are dorks," I told them.

"Dorks with mad singing skills," Twiggy joked.

"HOT POCKET!" I yelled.

"COLD SOCKET!" Dan shouted.

"BOTTLE ROCKET!" I continued.

"YOU TWO, STOP IT!" Ville said.

"PICKLES!" Dan replied. We looked at him. "What?"

F.F. A Few Hours:

"Sweetheart, being a woman is hard," Ville told me.

"Whoa, is this just occurring to you?!" I asked, sarcastically.

"Don't make fun of me because I'm slow," Ville said, giving me a puppy dog pout.

"Why do ya have to be so damn cute?" I laughed, hugging him. "So, what is your least favorite part about being me?"

"The underwear." I arched an eyebrow.

"Underwear?!" Ville nodded.

"They go up your ass-crack all day long whenever you bend over," Ville replied. "Like BUTT-FLOSS."

"Wow. That was beautiful," I said, getting into a pair of baggy pajama bottoms and a baggy t-shirt. Ville got into a pair of my pajama bottoms that said, 'Drama Queen' on the butt, and he pulled on one of my tank tops. It was black and showed his belly button. He skipped downstairs and I followed, surprised he didn't get his head stuck or anything, for the first time today. Haley, Twiggy, Jeff, and Jordan were speechless.

"Are you wearing each other's underwear?" Haley asked.

"Yep. Ville's wearing Lion King panties," I grinned as I playfully smacked his butt. "RAWR."

"Look at his scrawny man-legs," Haley laughed, pointing at Ville's legs. They were long and slender.

"I'd switch legs with him any day. I just little limbs and he gets long beautiful man legs," I scoffed.

"It's the Irish," Ville told me. "That's why you're so short."

"Yeah, I was meant to be a leprechaun," I sighed.

F.F. About a Month(It's Around October Now)Bam's P.O.V.:

Pulling into the long driveway that led to Hotel Valo, Dunn, Novak, Raab, Dico, and Rake gaped at the castle-like house that majestically stood at the end of the driveway. Kaite grinned.

"My bitch is a mad PIMP," Kaite laughed.

"I thought you were Ritt's bitch?" Novak asked.

"No, Ritt just likes to believe that," Kaite told him. "She can be very possessive like that." Parking the hummer, we all got out, Kaite taking Bam-Bam out of his car-seat and balancing him on her hip.

Kaite, who had a spare key to the house, unlocked the front door and the eight of us went inside. Jordan and Haley were sitting in the living room, half-asleep. When we walked in, they instantly became active.

"What're you idiots doing here?" Haley asked. "It's like midnight." Kaite sat down next to Haley, Bam-Bam in her lap. She gave Haley a puppy dog pout.

"Haley doesn't wuv me anymore. You broke-ded my heart, Haley," she said. Haley rolled her eyes.

"Ritt and Walo need to get up. We have a twelve thousand dollar budget for a music wideo," I answered.

"Well, they're upstairs in their bedroom. Second floor, second door on your left," Jordan said.

"Thanks," Novak told her as he sat down next to her on the couch. "So, do you date often?"

"I do not love carriers of venereal diseases," Jordan stated.

"Novak's a collector, not a spewer," Rake defended, sitting next to Novak.

"Well, me n' Raab will be tormenting the divas," I said, going upstairs, an electric guitar strapped around me.

Slowly, I pushed open the bedroom door. My eyes adjusted to the dark and I could see two forms, sprawled across the bed. Raab turned on a lamp which cast a dim light; enough for me to see what I was doing, but little enough so that I didn't wake up Ritt or Ville. I looked around the room. Their bedroom was organized, Ritt being the neat freak she is. Not a single pile of dirty clothes anywhere. And it was not for little kids to be wandering around, 'explicit' content.

Leave it to Ritt and Ville to have an amplifier in their room. Rake placed it on Ville's side of the bed, perched on the bedside table, holding it near his head. I had the guitar millimeters away from his face. I began to play the Wings of a Butterfly intro, punching down as I strummed with poor quality playing, making sure my fist came in contact with Ville's head. He groaned 'ow' every time I hit him.

Punching down one last time, I jumped up and ran out of the room. Fast.

***

A Few Hours/Still Bam's P.O.V.:

"Bam, you're such a bad boy," Kaite told me, laughing, after I had re-enacted Ville's wake-up. "You might wanna apologize to him."

"I know," I said, getting up off of the couch, Bam-Bam in my right hand as I went upstairs to Ritt and Ville's bedroom. I found them in their master bathroom. Ville was sitting on the closed toilet seat and Ritt was dabbing at several scratches on the side of his face with a cotton ball and rubbing alcohol. He had an ice pack on a large bruise on his forehead.

"Sorry you got the bad side of my wedding ring, Wille Walo," I apologized.

"So, Bammi, what are you, Kaite, and Bam-Bam doing here?" Ville asked.

"I came with cameras, too. Frantz and Seppo want a music wideo," I replied.

"Have anything in mind?" Ritt questioned. I nodded and hoisted Bam-Bam up onto my shoulders, where he began to pull on and play with my hair.

"I have a plan for 'Drunk on Shadows'," I answered.

"When are we filming?" Ville inquired.

"Sometime this week," I sighed. "We can start when you two wish."

"Why me?" Ritt asked.

"'Cause I don't feel like looking for a model for the wideo," I sighed.

"Fine. Can we start filming tomorrow?" Ville asked. I shrugged.

"I just want to make a making of the video. Those are usually better than the video itself," Ritt said.

Normal P.O.V./Later That Same Day...

Blowing up wards at a piece of loose hair, I tried, unsuccessfully, to entertain myself. For almost five hours, a bunch of Bam's hired workers had been moving cameras, adjusting lights, and setting up HIM's band equipment in a local, private cemetery. The 'Drunk on Shadows' music video was about a girl, who I had to portray unfortunately, and her dearly departed love, who Ville played. In summary, she was haunted by the dark memories of her love, drunk on the dark memories of his death, or 'Drunk on Shadows'.

Bam had just finished barking orders to a crane-guy. He walked over to me.

"Hey, Gas, you wanna play the girl? You'd be quite a pretty girl," I told Gas. He looked like he was actually thinking about playing the girl.

"Ritt, shut up and finish getting your make-up on," Bam said.

"Yes, MOTHER!" I grumbled, getting my face painted white so I looked more like a corpse than I naturally did.

"OK, Ritt, uh, put on a sad face and stand by that tombstone over there," Frantz told me. I nodded, walking over to a gorgeous gray marble tombstone that was surrounded by a spooky black-iron gate.

Opening the gate, I sat down on my knees in front of the tombstone, a giant frown across my face. One of the hired women gave me a dew-spotted, blood red rose. I lit a cigarette, hoping to get a smoke in before the cameras started rolling.

"OK! Roll cameras! Roll song!" Bam said. I could hear the whirring of the crane as the camera was quickly lowered below the trees. The camera looked down at me on an angle and zoomed in, getting a perfect mug shot. The cigarette was still in my mouth and I faced the camera, letting the cig fall out and onto the ground.

"We could've avoided having to re-shoot that if you kept that in your mouth and didn't look into the camera," Bam told me. I made a face. "I saw that."

"Shut up and re-shoot your shot," I groaned.

"Please, Britt, I don't want a long day," Ville said. Fine. I'll do it so that Ville's not miserable, I thought. Again, I looked down at the tombstone, frowning, and again I heard the whirring of the crane as it lowered the camera, getting the mug-shot again. Deja vu.

Acting casual, I dropped the rose in front of the tombstone and stood up. I walked down the unpaved path of the cemetery. Looking up, I noticed a car was coming and I jumped out of the way.

"CUT!" Bam shouted. The first car was soon followed by more cars, all of which were black. We soon realized that it was a funeral. I walked over to Bam and Frantz. They stood silent and looking at me.

"HAHA! I DIDN'T RUIN IT THIS TIME!" I exclaimed, pointing at Bam in an antagonizing manner.

"Ten thousand dollars are being wasted because of this funeral delay," Frantz said.

"It shouldn't be a funeral, it should be a FUN-eral!" I exclaimed. "Where are all the clowns and the elephants? It can be like the circus!"

***

Ville's P.O.V. About A Week Later...

Bam, Brittany, and I were sitting, back to back to back on a hotel bed in California, passing a half-empty bottle of Jack Daniel's around in a circle.

"What are we here for again?" Bam asked.

"'Cause we're done filming. We're allowed to drink now," Brittany said, taking another swig of Jack Daniel's. "Whoo."

"Let's go to the nearest Wal-Mart. I feel like being destructive," Bam yawned, throwing the now-empty Jack Daniel's bottle against a wall and falling back to go asleep. His snores could be heard a few short minutes later.

"Goodnight," I said, laying my head on Brittany's stomach.

***

Bam's P.O.V.

"OK, you guys wanna see the video?" I asked Ritt and Ville the next day after the three of us had sobered up. They nodded. Frantz rolled the edited footage and the song.

The camera started off with a top shot of the trees, but quickly zoomed in on a young girl (Ritt). She stood, staring at a tombstone (Ville's) with wide eyes and a large frown. The girl drops a single, blood red rose in front of the tombstone, it's landing being exaggerated and zoomed in on in slow-mo. She turns on her heels and walks away. You can see Mige, Linde, Burton, and Gas spread out in the background, playing their instruments.

By the cemetery's exit gate, the girl can see the wispy soul of her dearly departed perched on a wide tree branch, gazing down at her with sad, pale eyes. He looked as if he had been lost in the rain for eternity. The dark brown of his hair, green of his eyes, and ashen shade of his skin had faded to shades of depressing gray, washed away by the rain.

The girl, only taking a brief look at first, did a double take at the startling sight. At second glance, she realized that she was only seeing things and she hastily leaves the cemetery.

The next part of the video shows the girl's bedroom. She is fast asleep on the bed. Ville's 'soul' appears next to her, laying on the bed. Pensive tears run down his pale face, a purest white, and he softly strokes the girl's hair before kissing her sweetly on the cheek. The girl's eyes open and Ville disappears, dissolving into thin air. She sits up and looks around before pulling her knees to her chest and rocking back and forth, her face in her hands. A bright flash of lightning lights up the whole room and the girl jumps, leaving the safety of her bedroom.

She runs down the hallway, turning into the bathroom. She flips the light switch on and gazes at herself in the mirror. Her pupils were dilated, making her blue eyes completely black, and her hair was a mess.

Turning on the faucet, the girl splashed water onto her face, placed her hands on the mirror, and looked up. Her mouth hangs agape.

Staring back at her is not her own reflection, but the reflection of Ville. Their hands are lined up and they stare into each other's eyes with identical facial expressions.

The girl pulled away from then mirror, but the reflection remained, moving on its own. He grins at her. An act of fear causes the girl to smash the mirror and run out of her apartment building.

Outside, it is pouring and it's dark. She is soaked almost instantly and she shivers, wearing only shorts, a bra, and a t-shirt. She walks, barefoot, down the empty cobblestoned road, her arms wrapped around her body.

A clap of thunder and another flash of lightning causes the girl to jump. She falls back-wards onto her butt. Standing before her is Ville.

He's smiling. The girl scrambles back-wards as he calmly walks towards her. Unlike the girl, Ville is completely dry. He extends his arm and, hesitantly, the girl grabs his hand.

She opens her eyes. She is laying in her own bed. A bit confused, she takes a look around; Ville stands in the doorway. He smiles at her and the girl smiles back. He shakes his head and rolls his eyes, mouthing, 'Drunk on shadows...'. She had only been having a nightmare.

Normal P.O.V.: A Few Days Later...

"Have we any mail, darling?" Ville asked me as he walked into the kitchen in nothing but boxers.

"Fan mail, fan mail, fan mail, bills, letter for Dan, and a letter from MTV," I sighed.

"What's MTV want?" Ville groaned. "And where's everyone else?"

"Twiggy, Jordan, and Haley went to the mall to scare people and Jeff is at his girlfriend's house, she's moving in soon." Ville got himself a cup of coffee and sat down at the kitchen table. "And MTV is coming on November tenth."

"That's in, like, a week." I patted Ville on the head.

"Aw, you're so smart. No wonder I married you," I laughed. "We have to get the house cleaned up. They're gonna shoot an episode of MTV Cribs.

"You have six days, you'll be finished cleaning by then," Ville assured me.

"Hey, you live in this house, too. You are part of this huge, insane family. You are gonna help me clean." Ville groaned. "Twiggy, Jeff, Damian, Haley, and Jordan are, too."

"Yippee," Ville said, sarcastically.

***

November Tenth:

There was a knock on the front door and I straightened my Element t-shirt one last time before going to answer it. I knew it was 'MTV Cribs' so I wasn't surprised when I opened the door and found myself facing a bunch of cameras.

"Hey, what's up? I'm Ritt Valo and welcome to Hell , I mean, my crib," I grinned as the cameramen followed me. "First stop, the kitchen slash dining room." I took a left into the kitchen and dining room.

"Right. This is where we all come together like the happy family we aren't after a long day in le studio. Usually it's messier than this," I said. The large oak table that we eat at could seat as many as fourteen people. "Stainless steel appliances: the most expensive things I've ever bought that's not a car or house or TV. We have any appliance you could ever have. We even have appliances that none of us know how to use but we just buy them because they're shiny!"

"And we have this sorta fetish with oak, as you can tell from the table, and the chairs, and the cupboards. It's a, uhm...wood thing? I guess. Eh, marble counter tops mix it up. All of the counter tops were a dark ebony colored marble. I walked over to the refrigerator. "What is in the 'fridge?" I opened the refrigerator.

"A lot. Hot Pockets for Dan, a.k.a. 'Twiggy', a.k.a. 'Jordan's Bitch', the guy loves Hot Pockets. Frozen pizzas, that's all we mainly eat, veggie-hot dogs, veggie-burgers, veggie chicken-nuggets, I'm a vegetarian, ya know, not that you probably care. Tofu, Gatorade, red wine, Sobe, chocolate milk, and we have to make up for all the junk food so we have fruits and vegetables up the ass."

Closing the refrigerator, I walked out of the kitchen and into the living room.

"Anyways, the living room." The living room was large and friendly. A shiny, silver heartagram emblem, bigger than the one Bam had in his dining room, took up a giant wall. All of the furniture was black leather and the walls were also black, because Twiggy and Jordan got to choose how the living room got to look.

"The Wall of Fame-ly." I pointed to another wall, covered with photographs. "I bet you don't have one of these." The largest photos were a big family portrait of Ville, Rylee, Tyler, Damian, and I, a Dreadful Illusions band poster, and Twiggy's own Marilyn Manson 'Smells Like Children' poster, which he had signed by Manson himself.

"The kids: Damian -" I pointed at a picture of my sitting on the hood of the hummer, meditating, while Damian played the air-guitar and head-banged behind me.

"- Rylee-" I gestured to a picture of Ville and Rylee playing dolls, Ville holding up Rylee's sock-monkey and hugging it with Rylee giggling at him.

"And Tyler." A picture of me holding Tyler upside-down by his ankles was pointed at. "Yeah, uh, he has an odd outlook on life. He gets that from Ville's father."

"Don't insult my daddy," Ville laughed. He, Dan, Haley, the twins, Damian, and Jordan was scattered across the living room.

"My roommates: Dan Putnam, Jordan Rios, and Haley Hoffmann. Jeffrey Mathew Strong is asleep right now, but I'll get Dan to wake him up in a few minutes. Right now, I'm gonna shut up and finish telling you about the living room." The rest of the living room had elaborate paintings covering up the remaining wall space. A giant entertainment stand with a big screen television, DVD player, VCR, X-Box, a killer stereo, and awesome surround sound, was up against another wall. Abstract art sculptures were also spread throughout the living room.

"Everyone says that this house has no particular theme, because everything is just shit put together in a building. It's not supposed to match! C'mon, Twiggy, Valo, we have to go wake-up Jeff and Jessica." The two followed me up to Jeff's third floor bedroom.

Pushing open the door, we were almost blown away by the scent of over-sprayed cologne. Jeff's room was dim and messy. The curtains were closed and dirty clothes were everywhere. Jeff and his long-time girlfriend, Jessica, were asleep in Jeff's king-sized bed.

Deciding to be nice and not use any of Jeff's many autographed guitars, Twiggy and I each took one of Jeff's several acoustics. We lifted the guitars above our heads and swung them down so they hit Jeff, making loud, echoing sounds. Taking turns, we alternatively hit him continuously until he hid under the covers, groaning.

"You guys suck!" he mumbled.

"Don't pout, girl-scout," I greeted. "Rise n' shine." Jessica yawned and rolled over. "Sorry, Jess."

"That was a really Bam thing to do," Ville told me.

"Everyone, I forgot to introduce him, but this is my Willa Walo," I told the camera. "Usually, on MTV Cribs, you get to see the bedrooms, but no. There's no time. And our room looks like shit. Instead, we have le office." Going down to the second floor, with Twiggy skipping ahead of us, we went into the 'office'.

Band posters covered three of the four walls. Keyboards, acoustic guitars, electric guitars, basses, and a drum set took up barely a third of the huge room. A sleek, black baby grand piano was over in a corner. An amplifier sat by a wall of equipment; equipment you would see in a recording studio. A bulletin board of song ideas and shelves of many CDs took up the fourth wall.

"I love this room," Ville thought aloud.

"The man loves his music."

"Show them the cars! Show them the cars!" Twiggy exclaimed, jumping down the stairs. Jordan, Haley, Twiggy, Ville, and I went outside.

"First should be my car, because it's so kickass," Twiggy bragged.

"First of all, Twiggy, your car is most definitely not kickass, because you can't even get it out of the driveway," I said. Twiggy's car was a beat up 1978 special edition black Trans Am.

"And Jordan's car is better anyways," Ville said. Jordan had 2006 black Ford Freestyle.

"My car collection includes my old black 2003 hummer H2. Bam says I'm an idiot because I'm preserving my car," I said. "And I also have a silver 2005 Lamborghini murceilago and my new candy-apple red 2006 hummer H3."

"She trashes the new one and preserves the old one," Twiggy said. "And she tells me I'm the retarded one!"

"I can. I don't like money laying around," I laughed.

"And you bought Ville a car when he can't even drive," Haley said.

"If I don't teach him to drive by this next upcoming tour, you can have the Jaguar," I compromised.

"Deal. I'll be driving a brand new midnight-blue Jaguar that you can't even see because it's in the minghin'- ass garage," Haley told the camera.

"Well, MTV, you've seen my house, my cars, my kids, my roommates, my roommates fighting, and now I think it's time for you to leave," I bade goodbye.

A Few Days later...

"I can't believe you!"

"Why are you so childish?!"

"It's in my personality to be! I'm sorry, but I'm not going to bend over backwards and kiss your ass and give you sympathy! And speak for yourself! Why didn't you take care of Jonna last year?!"

"Because, in 2005, I was too overwhelmed to walk straight! Just back off!" Teary-eyed, I ran into the bathroom. Ville realized he had made a mistake because he ran after me. I closed the door.

"Sweetheart, I didn't mean it!" he apologized.

"Then you shouldn't have said it! I was trying to fucking help and you have to be an asshole!" I yelled at him. Sick of the pressure already, I reached into the drawer and pulled out a clean, shiny razor-blade. We had made the mistake of always having a small supply of them. Haley had worked in a warehouse and brought home a stash of box cutters. Twiggy finds the time to pull the razors out of the box cutters and stick them in the drawers. Briefly thinking over my options, I carved a heartagram into my right forearm, above the green serpent tattoo, but below the heartagram tattoo on my bicep.

My stomach lurched and I vomited, the skin around the cuts tingling. Cutting myself had always made me queasy, since I had first taken up the habit around age twelve.

Wiping my mouth off, I sat on my butt, legs out in front of me, leaning up against a wall. Raindrops pattered on the roof and the windows. Even though it was almost the end of November, snow had not begun to fall yet.

Closing my eyes, I could feel the warm dampness that was my own blood run down my right arm. I sighed.

"Why must something so dangerous, make you feel so purified?" I breathed. The blood from my arm released all of my previous emotions, numbing me mentally.

Soon, I began to feel drowsy. It was about five minutes later, but the blood was still freely flowing and had no intention of stopping before I was drained dry. My heart began to race. This wasn't supposed to happen. I must've sliced open a main vein. Tears began to run down my face and I became dizzy. The last thing I need right now is a panic attack! I thought, recognizing the sick feeling.

"Ville...help..." I weakly cried out.

"Oh my god, sweetheart, are you okay?!" Ville asked frantically.

"No," I whimpered. "Pick the lock." There was the faint fumbling and a small click as the door opened. Ville's jaw dropped when he saw me. Sitting next to me, he lay my head in his lap and reassuringly stroked my face.

"DAN! JORDAN! HALEY! CALL AN AMBULANCE, PLEASE!" Ville shouted. Dan, Jordan, Haley, Jeff, and Jessica stood in the doorway. My vision seemed to be dimming as the life was being drained out of me. Sounds grew hollower and seemed to echo. I could see Dan, Jordan, Haley, Jeff, Jessica, and Ville as dark silhouettes. I heard Haley and Jessica gasp as they ran for a phone. There was a ripping sound; Ville ripped a sleeve off of his shirt and tightly wrapped the cloth tightly around my arm, around the cut, to slow down the blood flow.

"Ville, I sliced a vein...am I gonna die?" I cried. I had been in this situation so many times, but I was too stupid to learn from experience. Many times had Kaite, my best friend, told me to stop cutting, but I was too idle and ignorant to take her advice.

"No. No, I won't let you," he whispered, hugging me to his chest. "Don't close your eyes, whatever you do."

"But, I'm so tired."

"Sweetheart, stay with me, here. Keep your eyes open."

My eyelids felt like they weighed a million pounds and I couldn't keep them open...

***

Jordan's P.O.V.:

Ville looked like he was holding a corpse in his arms as he sobbed uncontrollably. Never before had I seen a man who had been rendered so powerless and defenseless by love. What couldn't completely destroy their love, would only make it stronger.
He traced Ritt's sickly-pale, full lips and kissed her forehead before hugging her to his chest again.

The two were surrounded by a pool of blood and vomit. But all the blood in the world couldn't stop Ville. He wouldn't let her go. He hopelessly gazed at the razor-blade that had spelled out Ritt's fate.

"Valo, no!" Dan yelled as both Ville and he dove for it. Since Ville had been closer, he held up the razor-blade. He sliced a giant, deep 'X', one into each wrist, before dropping the blade.

Then, Ville wrapped his arms even tighter around Ritt, and leaned up against the wall, waiting for death to engulf them both.

Thank God the ambulance came soon after that. Dan, Jeff, Haley, Jessica, and I could only stand there, helplessly watching death take our two dear friends right before our eyes. Ville had just enough strength left in his being to not allow the men in the ambulance to separate Ritt and himself. He clung to her even as they rode to the hospital, the five of us riding along in the ambulance, too.

After having an anesthetic mask placed over his face, Ville eventually passed out so the doctors and nurses could treat Ville and Ritt separately.

***

Still Jordan's P.O.V.:

After being at the hospital for a few hours, Ville began to stir and he opened his eyes.

"Where's Brittany?" he asked, weakly.

"She's in this room, don't worry," Haley told him. We had thought it was best to have Ville and Ritt in the same room.

"Is she alright?"

"She's alive, but in worse condition than you are," I said.

"You two are in-freakin'-sane," Twiggy said. "I never took you two serious about suicide before. You two shouldn't have been allowed to mate! Your spawn will be psychos!"

***

Normal P.O.V.(Another Few Hours Later):

"So ya found out today,
your life's not the same,
not quite as perfect as it was yesterday.
But you were just getting in the groove,
now you're faced with something new.
And I know it hurts
and I know you feel torn,
you never gave up this easily before.
So why do you choose today to give it all away?
Well, it's not so bad y'all,
together we'll all fall,
Just as long as we get up, we'll stand tall.
We shouldn't waste another day thinking 'bout the things we forgot to say.
I'm hitting back y'all,
kicking these four walls just as hard as I can 'til I can't crawl.
I won't waste another day with all these silly things swimming in my brain..."

My eyes fluttered open and I was nearly blinded by the bright hospital walls, the hospital room walls that were oh-so familiar. Ville was laying in my hospital bed with me and somehow managed to lay my body on his without waking me; my head was resting on his shoulder. Stroking my cheek, Ville smiled when I opened my eyes.

Noticing the bandages on his wrists, I abruptly sat up.

"Oh my god, what happened?" I asked.

"Do you remember anything that happened?" Ville questioned.

Confused, I shook my head. Ville gently pulled back the bandages that were on my right forearm, unveiling a deep, self-inflicted incision in the shape of a heartagram.

"Did I do that?" I whispered, a faint recall of the previous day playing in my head. Ville nodded, trying not to cry. He pressed the bandages back down before tightly embracing me.

"You sliced open a vein and I thought I lost you," he breathed, stuttering with oncoming tears.

"I'm so stupid. I almost killed us both," I cried into his chest. Peeling off his bandages, I gently traced the two x's that were carved into Ville's wrists with my fingertips. He winced and I took note of it. I lightened my touch so that my fingertips felt no heavier than a soft breeze. Before I covered up his wounds with the bandages, I lightly kissed each x. Ville smiled at me.

"Now they'll heal twice as fast," he said.

***

About A Week Later:

With the door closed and locked, Ville and I laid next to each other on the king-sized bed of our bedroom. He was wearing nothing but boxers and I was wearing only a bra and pajama bottoms, no underwear. The only thing that mattered to us was the warmth of our bodies together.

The two of us had gotten out of the hospital only that morning and our wounds had turned into scars. They would remind us of how much we loved each other and how we almost gave everything to remain together. We looked around our bedroom.
The walls were a vivid red and all of the furniture, black leather, like in the living room. Our bed was suited in soft, burgundy silk blankets and sheets and was covered in many pillows.

One corner had full-mirrors on the walls so you see yourself from every angle. Another corner had a desk on which sat my laptop, a printer, and my currently-off video camera. A small shelf of 'adult-books' stood beside the desk, a stack of Ville's magazines under the desk.

We had our share of 'suggestive posters' on our bedroom walls. One was on me wearing nothing but a large black leather jacket and a bra. The jacket and bra straps were hanging off of my shoulders. For the poster, I had a red liquid, which looked horribly like blood, drip out of the corners of my mouth. My canine teeth had been digitally enhanced to look like fangs.

Ville's favorite poster was one of the two of us. Both of us were topless. The background was dark and we were drenched, making it all the more romantic. I was leaning with my back against a brick wall (like an empty city alley), Ville standing in front of me, leaning into my kiss. My arms were wrapped around his neck and his hands were resting on my hips. The picture was black and white and taken from the side and in big bold print at the bottom, it said:

"Just one kiss and I'm alive,
one kiss and I'm ready to die,
because you're so beautiful..."

With a pen, Ville scribbled above my belly button,

"Without you, this life ain't worth living...
Baby, join me in death."

I laughed, tracing the handwriting I had always adored.

"I should get that traced as a tattoo," I said.

"Never thought of that, love."

"Want me to write it on your stomach, too?" I asked. Ville nodded, handing me the pen.

Our handwriting was so different, mine neat and Ville's messy. It made the tattoos all the more heartfelt.

Couple Days Later...

For once, Ville and I laid on our bed, fully-clothed. Well, at least you could call it that. I was wearing a bra, underwear, a pair of Ville's boxers and a CKY hoodie. Ville was wearing boxers, jeans, and an Iggy Pop t-shirt. He traced his writing, which was now permanently on my stomach, over and over again.

"My mommy won't let him," I sighed.

"Your dad looked like he was serious," Ville said.

"Oh, he was serious. But my mom won't let him." When we got our matching tattoos, we had made the mistake of showing them to my parents. My dad got pissed and had a hissy-fit. He started warning me that he was going to disown me because of all of the stupid shit I had done in my life. He gave Ville a death glare. My dad holds Ville accountable for everything since A. he's the older one in the relationship, and B. my dad thinks that Ville runs my life when it's really the other way around.

"Your brothers and mother don't really seem to care, do they?" I shook my head.

"Nope. Ella, Tyler, and Seth don't care because they realize that it's my life and I can live it however I wish," I answered.

Ville's P.O.V. The Next Morning:

"You guys have a death wish, don't you?" I asked Bam, Kaite, Novak, Raab, Rake, Dunn, and Dico. They grinned and nodded.
Opening the door to our bedroom, the seven ran inside and began jumping on the bed. Brittany was jolted awake when Kaite grabbed the elastic of her underwear and pulled up as hard as she could, giving Brittany a super-wedgie, until the underwear was ripped off of her body. She yelped and the seven ran out of the room as fast as they ran in.

Laughing, I walked in the room, sitting down next to Brittany on our bed.

"Ugh, my ass-crack hurts," she groaned, massaging her backside.

"I tried to stop them, love," I told her. She shrugged and we walked downstairs after she got dressed into a pair of jeans and a dark green Green Day American Idiot shirt.

***

Normal P.O.V.:

Walking downstairs, I saw my old friends, Corey Love, David Swift, Matt Moorland, and Nate Stout, standing in the living room.

"MOSH!" Matt, Nate, Twiggy, and I yelled, pushing each other. I ran up behind Matt, jumped up, and wrapped my arms around his neck, having him in a headlock.

"I WANT TO SEX VILLE'S MUN-KEHHHH!" I shouted randomly, causing everyone to look over at Ville.

"I think you've done that quite a few times," Swift said.

"Why are all of you idiots here?" I asked.

"SCAVENGER HUNT!" Bam and Kaite exclaimed. I noticed Mige, Linde, Burton, and Gas sitting in the living room, too.

"Ugh, not you four," I joked. Bam handed each of us a piece of paper. The papers were copies of a list. On the list were odd and disgusting tasks, each worth a certain amount of points. This was going to be loads of fun.

"Why a scavenger hunt? Why not like, you guys all compete in who can get to West Chester the fastest by not flying, and I'll keep track of who's where, here?" I suggested. Scavenger hunts were not my thing.

"We can see who can get to West Chester the fastest next year! Now, we're gonna have a scavenger hunt!" Bam said.

"Okay, you whores, get into your teams," Jordan said. Twenty-one people were organized into three teams of seven people on each team:

Village People: Mige, Ville, Novak, Dan, Dico, Jordan, and me

Flash Whores: Gas, Dunn, Bam, Jeff, Kaite, Swift, and Rake

Town Idiots: Linde, Nate, Burton, Jared, Raab, Matt, and Corey

Haley and Jessica were staying at Hotel Valo to keep the scores.

***

F.F. A Few Hours:

"ANALLY INFLICTED DEATH SENTENCE! A.I.D.S.!" Jordan and I sang to a random girl walking down a local Baldwinsville sidewalk. "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR HAVING A PENIS UP YOUR ASS!"

"Shoulda used a condom!" Dico and Novak squealed.

"THAT'S WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU SWALLOW ANOTHER MAN'S LOAD!"

"A lubricated condom!"

"HOW DO YOU FIND LOVE IN A MAN'S HAIRY ASS?!"

"Shoulda used a condom!"

"MILLIONS OF LOST HAMSTERS RUNNING RAMPED IN YOUR BOWELS!"

"Take the Hershey highway!" Mige, Ville, and Twiggy were in tears, rolling around on the sidewalk as we finished 'A.I.D.S'. Twiggy flipped open his cell phone, calling Haley and Jessica to tell them that we had completed another task.

"I wanna play 'House' again!" Jordan said. A task that we had already completed is "play 'House' in a Home Depot 'home display".

***

"One, two, THREE!" Dico, Novak, Dan, Mige, Jordan, and Ville chorused, pushing my shopping cart. We were in an empty parking lot at Tri County Mall, trying to complete yet another task: 'do a shopping cart'. No 'scavenger hunt' was complete without a shopping cart.

The six pushed the shopping cart so it hit a cement curb at a high speed. I was launched over the curb, getting tangled up in one of those parking lot trees in the middle of the curb. The branches snapped and I landed roughly on the grass of the curb.

"Are you OK, sweetheart?" Ville asked, helping me to my feet. I nodded.

"MOSH!" Twiggy yelled, running into me. I fell back down.

"C'mon, Dan, do you ever get sick of moshing?" Novak asked. There was a pause. Twiggy pushed Novak.

"NOPE!"
***

Our team, of course, won the scavenger hunt. Because whoever made the teams also made the mistake of giving us both Jordan and Twiggy. We had over a thousand points, leaving the other two teams in the dust. After the scavenger hunt, all of us decided to go to a local bar to relax. Haley and Jessica came along, too, as designated drivers.

About half an hour later, we were all tipsy. Walking up behind me, Bam tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around to see what he wanted.

"Listen, since your team won, and there was really no prize for the winning team, how about I make it up to you?" he suggested.

"Sure."

"I'll pay your bar tab for the night."

"Deal!" I exclaimed, nearly pumping Bam's arm out of its socket as we shook hands to seal the deal.

"MOSH!" Matt shouted, running into Nate, who ran into Corey, who ran into Novak, who ran into Twiggy, who tackled me. We wound up on the floor behind the bar, surrounded by broken shot glasses and our clothes were wet with spilled booze.

"Nice, Twiggy," I said as the two of us stood up. We jumped back over the bar. I punched Corey in the nose. "BAR FIGHT!"

Everyone seemed to drop their drinks and randomly hit one of their friends.

After about ten minutes of scratching, biting, kicking, punching, pushing, choking, hair-pulling, and screaming, we all apologized to each other. There was a chorus of 'I'm sorry's and drunken sobs as pairs of us hugged.

"I didn't mean it!" Jordan and I told each other. I had given Jordan a cut lip and she gave me a black eye. "I'll make up for it!"

During the bar fight, the whole bar was destroyed. That severely pissed off the bar's owner. He ended up putting the cost of the damage on my bar tab, which Bam had to pay for.

The Next Morning:

Yawning, I drained my fifth cup of coffee. It was only seven in the morning, but all of us had been up since one. A plaintive tear ran down my cheek as I remembered handing our beautiful sleeping twins and my loving Damian over to my parents. The twins were so young, but they were getting their share of 'life-as-a-rockstar's-child'. When they wake up a few hours later today, Mommy and Daddy would be long gone and already so far away. I thought of Damian's frown as I stared at him out the back window of our tour bus. He looked so sad as the bus pulled away, with it taking Ville, Dan, Jordan, Jeff, and myself. All that lived in Hotel Valo were his family. From a look in his eye, I could tell that he felt left behind.

What didn't make sense to me was that why, when our flights weren't for three hours, did we have to come to the airport so early? Sitting adjacent to each other, our fingers laced on the armrest Ville and I had to share. Looking down at my fingers, my glance ran up his arm and into his eyes. He smiled at me and I blushed.

"I have to go to the bathroom," I excused myself, standing up and walking away. I heard Ville's footsteps follow me, all the way into the ladies' room. Several women looked up when I entered, screaming and quickly exciting when they saw Ville behind me.

"Ville, I'm only, or I was, going to the bathroom," I laughed. I had just planned to go into the bathroom to cry.

"My wittle Emo-girl was going to cry, because she'll miss her Willa Walo so much," he grinned.

"Well, ya! No sex for over two years is just plain insane!"

"No way," Ville said sarcastically. I sat on the sink counter, dangling one foot off and kicking it back and forth. Ville stood in front of me, stroking my cheek.

"Why are you so tall?" I randomly asked, to get a conversation going.

"Why are you so short?" Ville questioned back. I was sitting up straight on the counter, yet, the top of my head came dead even with Ville's armpit. He cradled my cheek in his hand and kissed me sweetly on the lips. As if the world was in slow-motion, I watched Ville come back for another kiss, not afraid to apply some pressure. His tongue slipped into my open mouth, intertwining with mine. I felt Ville's unoccupied hand slid up the back of my shirt. His lips formed a grin as he held up my removed bra.

"Souvenir," he breathed as my black t-shirt came off. He began to kiss my neck and I moaned.

An airport official barged into the bathroom, interrupting us. Ville spun around to face her, hiding my bra and t-shirt behind his back while I covered myself up with my arms.

"How may we help you?" Ville asked innocently.

"You could start by getting dressed and leaving the bathroom," she hissed. I slid my t-shirt back on. The official left the bathroom after we had gotten dressed.

"Will you be needing this back?" Ville asked, smiling and holding up my bra.

"Uh, maybe." He placed my bra on his head.

"Aw, but it's still warm!" he whined. I laughed. He frowned, handing over my bra. I took off my t-shirt and put my bra back on.

"I'm sexy and you love it," I smirked, wearing only my bra and showing some cleavage. I wrapped my arms around Ville's torso, resting my hands on his butt. He kissed my forehead.

"Of course I do," he replied. "But we'd better get out of this bathroom unless you want that airport bitch back in here." To my disliking, I put my shirt back on and we left the bathroom.

A Few Days Later While on Tour...

"Did you send Walo that tape?" Twiggy asked. He and I were sitting in the back of HIM's tour bus on the couch, drawing. HIM and Dreadful Illusions had to switch buses because it's pretty difficult to transport a bus across the ocean.

"Yep."

"Was there any porn on it?"

"WHO TOLD YOU?! I mean, no," I joked. I had Fed-Exed Ville and the guys a video tape of how we were doing on tour. They should be receiving it in a couple months. "Hey, Twiggy, whatcha drawing?" Twiggy held up a picture of a black and pink penguin on a white cloud.

"It's my sexy flying penguin. Do ya like it?" he asked. We both burst into laughter.

"Penguins can't fly!" Jeff shouted from the front of the bus.

"Yes they can! You're just jealous of my sexy flying penguin," Twiggy told him. He started singing the Batman theme song, but instead of saying 'Batman', Twiggy said 'sexy flying penguin'.

"How can you do that with a straight face?" I asked him, my stomach hurting and my eyes watering.

"Because I do it all the time," he answered.

"I can't wait to go home and see Jess," Jeff said, sitting next to Twiggy and me on the couch. Jeff and Jared, both guitarists, were leaving Dreadful Illusions, not because of conflict between the members, but because the two were bored of the rock star life. They wanted to go home and start their own families.

Ashley Morris would take the role as guitarist. And to take up room and keep track of Jared and Ashley, the two would be moving in, giving us a full house.

"More roommates! More roommates means bigger parties! Bigger parties means more people to mosh with! RAD!" Dan exclaimed.

"Yeah. Ashley's flying to Sicily tomorrow. We'll meet her there when we get to Italy in two days." Jeff and Jared's flight was leaving in about four hours so we had to drop them off at an airport in Berlin, Germany.

At least there were no concerts between Jeff and Jared's departure and Ashley's arrival, which was planned out perfectly.

Ville's P.O.V.(A Couple of Months Later):

Dredful Illusions' tour bus hit a bump and I was jolted awake. Groaning, I looked around at my surroundings briefly before letting my head fall back onto my pillow.

"Valo!" Mige called from the front of the bus. He walked over to me.

"You're not making it any better by using her nickname for me," I yawned.

"Wasn't trying to," he replied. "Do you know how hard it is to act like Ritt?"

"Yeah. From experience. She's...one in a kind."

"Fa shoo," Gas said. Still laying down, I rolled off the couch I had passed out on, I sat up on the floor. Mige took a bag of fan mail and dumped it in my lap.

Sighing, I started on my fan mail, opening a letter.

March fifth, 2007, I read the date in my head. Something clicked.

"The twins are a year old today," I thought aloud.

"Congrats, Valo," Mige told me as he, Gas, Burton, and Linde sat behind me on the couch, reading over my shoulders.

"Oh, and here's a package from Ritt," Burton said, handing me a package. I noticed it was open.

"Uh, thank you for reading my mail?" I said. The package was about the size of a video tape. Dropping my fan-letter, I opened the package. It was a video tape. Probably one of the most random, funny home videos I would ever watch. I put it down and pulled the letter out of its already opened envelope.

Greetings, Significant Other,

Well, what's up? It's December 30th right now, but by the time you receive this letter, it should be the birthday of our darling twins. Currently, Twiggy, Kaite, Jordan, and I are having some brewskis in a pub in London and, as you may have noticed, I'm scribbling this letter on a napkin because there's no damn paper around! Jeff and Jared thought they would be better off out of the band. They both wanted to go home and start their own families, a bit overwhelmed by the rock star life. Don't worry, my friend, Ashley, is taking over the guitar. I have a feeling she won't last too long, because she and Kaite don't get along to well. On New Year's Eve, tomorrow, we're performing in Greenwich which will be Jared and Jeff's final performance. Eh, it's all good.
Enclosed is a home video, because that's what we do in our spare time. It's not too much fun during the long hours on the road.

Can't wait to see you,
Ritt

"Wow, that sucks," I said, folding up the letter and beginning to examine the video tape.

"What sucks?" the guys asked.

"Jeff and Jared dropped out of the band." I set the video tape down on the couch and laid down next to it. Burton, Gas, Mige, and Linde gave me weird looks.

"I'm imagining that she's right here," I told them, laughing. "It's a process, leave me alone!"

"OK. You can finish your 'process' but if you act like that tape is Ritt and you start making-out with that thing, I'M OUTTA HERE!" Mige laughed.