Hey hey hey!

Look, this was just sitting here, completely finished, and I honestly forgot all about it.

I wanted to post something in honor of the premiere last night (loved it, Dark Emma gives me life, Jen is fantastic like that, but my OQ feels were hurt, because NOT ENOUGH!), so here I am. And, like Rumple, I offer you a deal:

Me and Jealous bandit do not get along. At all. I still want to write her, it's almost a question of honor now, but I realize it's taking me too long. So, in light of a lovely conversation I had with a fellow Brazilian oncer, I ask you this: is it ok if, before the bandit thing, I post another jealous Regina? Because that I can do, much quicker. So, if you guys are ok with it, I can make something like that work until I come up with a way to tame that bandit. What do you say?

(But I do have to thank my Tumblr friend, bonesheartandbrain, for being such a nice person and offering me advice. It helped a lot, I swear. Thank you for being so nice to me!)

Until then, I give you Regina sort of seducing Robin. It's a one shot – so far.

Show me some love, please.

XOX

You know the drill: unrevises, mistakes might have passed me, the usual.

The first time he kissed her, Robin didn't really think things through.

All he thought was that she was beautiful, they were alone, and he wanted to kiss her. Has wanted to kiss her for a while now. She was talking in that voice, and wearing that dress, that dress, full of cuts and so tight. So he took a step towards her. One single step, that's all it took. And suddenly he had locked lips with the Queen.

They were quiet for five seconds. He allowed her all of four, five seconds to decide if she wanted to push him away. She didn't. So he moved his lips. Opened his mouth. Raised his hand to her waist. Peeked his tongue out. Took a step forward, making her step back. Turned his head to the right and forward.

And then she sighed, her tongue making a shy swipe across his.

Yes, he definitely didn't think this through.

Robin did not, in any way, anticipate the warmth, physical warmth that would shoot out of his chest to the rest of his body when she started to react to him. When her hand hovered over his arm for a moment before she landed her fingers on his bicep and caressed his skin.

He also did not anticipate the moan that escaped him when she opened her mouth to accept a bigger, hungrier kiss.

It had lasted a couple of minutes, that first kiss. Inside a bloody tower, a bell right there by their side. If they bumped into it, the whole castle and the nearest village would hear it.

But they didn't. He pressed her to him and she dug her fingers into his hair. Robin nibbled on her, Her Majesty gasped and ran her nails on his jaw, down his neck and he was shivering.

Robin of Locksley did not shiver. Until now.

After he was willing to release her, there were some confused looks, a "what are you doing?", eyes averting, "we need to get back", an unspoken agreement to keep this between them, and maybe not to mention it again.

And that had worked for maybe two days or three. He had managed to reign his desire in, schooled himself in how to stop thinking about her – he got pretty good at that, too.

And then a council meeting had happened. There was a whole plan, for an Enchantment from Rumpelstiltskin, and the Prince said that he would go for it himself, but Snow White was pregnant, and Robin had lived in the castle, he could break in.

Excellent, he had thought. A mission, to distract him, to focus him, to get him to stop thinking about the sassy queen and her snappy mood, her complete disregard for anyone else's feelings, her mouth on his, his lips on her neck, her on him, and him on her. In her.

Yes, a mission.

"But", Belle spoke up. "Zelena is in there with Rumple, it might be dangerous if she catches you."

"From what you tell me", he said, trying his best not to look to his left, where the princess was sitting, caressing her swollen belly, and immediately after her, Regina sat, her usual scowl in place. "This potion is hidden, in a whole different part of the castle. She won't be there, she's keeping to the main rooms. I'll be alright."

"No, I think Belle is right", Snow had said. "This is too important. If she catches you and turns you into a monkey, we're doomed. Regina?"

Oh no. Please no please no no yes please, yes. No.

(His feelings were a little mixed, you see.)

"Can you go with him? For back up?"

"Me?" She asked, apparently outraged and he could just bite that lip until it bled. "W-what about you? You've an entire baby inside of you that she wants! Don't you think it's best if I stay here in case she shows up?"

He noticed two things. One: her argument was sound, of course, but she sounded a little too desperate. Two: the last time they were all here, she hunted Snow White day and night, now here she was, trying her best to protect her. Ironic.

"You can put up a shield. And Blue can stay with us. You have to go with him. We'll be fine."

And that's how he had found himself breaking into the Dark One's castle with her in tow. Both speaking as little as they could.

It had been incredibly easy. They were inside in a matter of minutes. Alas, the potion they needed was not in the place where Belle has indicated.

She huffed. "Ugh, I knew it. That bookworm doesn't know what she's talking about", she whispered angrily.

"Yes, alright, we can discuss that later. Right now I think we should retreat, wouldn't you say?"

Sighing, irritated, she nodded and turned to leave.

It was on their way out that his resolve started to crumble. Once they were out of the castle, her irritation at the failed mission made her more talkative, less prone to snap at him, or to push him away when he offered her a hand so she could jump over that log, or to slap his hand from her waist when he guided her from a suspicious spot of dirt.

He was pulling her to a higher path of road and she was talking, mostly to herself, wondering what their course of action should be now.

"We cannot afford another visit from her, if she's gonna turn another one of us into monkeys. I mean, Aurora is pregnant, and you know what she did to her. I know she wants Snow's baby, but I don't think Charming would be of much s-"

It was the motion, he thinks. The act of pulling her to him, in order to lift her from the lower ground to his level on the road. It had jogged his memory of that other time she was pressed to him, so he just pulled, lifted, swung his bow over his shoulder, lifted his hand to her jaw and smashed his mouth to hers.

This time it took them longer to pull apart. He kissed her harder, pushed her against a tree, pressed his body to hers, and kissed. Oh, how he kissed.

Her response was most positive. She took a little moment to be surprised, then she sighed in his mouth and kissed him back, angling her head in the way it pleased her most, and suddenly he needed to look at her.

Pulling away, he inspected her face, a tiny smirk forcing it's way to his lips. Breathing hard, she looked back at him, pressed her eyes shut, rested her head on the tree trunk behind her and breathed hard.

"I hate you", she whispered, a tiny smile of her own forcing it's way out.

"I'm fairly certain you don't", and he was back to kissing her. One peck, another, teasing her, and by the third he was deaf to the rest of the world.

The way back home to her castle took a long time. They made a few stops to occasionally attach themselves to one another by the lips.

After that, the excuses to not see each other had stopped. No longer avoiding being together in the same room, they now shared knowing, discreet looks when they had company, and the occasional snog when they were alone.

It has been a week and a half of that.

And he had no illusions that he would ever be more than a stress reliever to her. The thief she sometimes liked to kiss. And he was mostly ok with that, given that it would be a strange situation to explain, in the least. They were worlds apart, he had his own life, his son, the Merry Men. She was the bloody queen, she didn't have time for him. Of course not.

But, yes, there were those moments, those physical moments where he wanted nothing more than throw all good sense to the wind, strip her of those complicated dresses and lose himself into her, titles and situations be damned.

Alas, they have a deal. Sealed under grunts and moans and kisses, nibbles, sighs, wandering hands and some groping – all, of course, over clothes. This was just... a little distraction.

But he caught himself longing. And day dreaming (night dreaming too), letting his mind wander. He also caught her looks. The occasional biting of a lower lip, the blushing when their eyes met, the sharp intake of breaths, her lingering against him when she had been the one to say that was enough kissing for today.

Robin was finishing his round on the towers, as he did every night (he actually gave orders to the same guards he used to run from about breaches in security. Again: ironic), when he ran into her, walking down a hall, hips swaying left and right and left and right, coming from Snow White and her husband's chambers, a midwife walking by her side.

"Well, I'm trying", she was saying. "But she can be stubborn. You heard her."

"Yes, Your Majesty."

She saw him then. Robin did not intend to, but he lifted his eyebrows and smiled at her, suggestion and malice leaking out of him.

Returning the look, she turned her head and summoned a guard, who planted himself stiffly in front of her.

"Accompany Adellaine back to her village. See she gets home safe."

"Yes, Your Majesty."

The pair of them left, leaving Robin and Regina alone in the corridor. He corrected his posture and bowed to her.

"Your Majesty."

"Mr. Locksley."

"Can I be of any assistance, milady?"

She raised her brows, expression regal and professorial, expecting something. Robin smiled, bit his lip and bowed his head once again.

"Can I be of any assistance, Your Majesty?"

She looked at him up and down, turned around and motioned for him to follow. "We'll see."

He walked after her and felt excited and nervous at the same time when he recognized the hallway they were in.

Her bedchambers.

Swallowing, he tried to reason with himself. Nothing would happen. Nothing much, he means. She would probably make him dizzy with those sinful lips of hers, enjoy his hands on her for a while and then each would go their merry way, flushed and a tad frustrated, but that's how it was.

She walked inside, a swipe of her hand closing the curtains on the balcony.

"Close the door behind you", she ordered him.

He did, excitement warming him, letting his eyes run through her.

"You see," she started, walking to him. "I have decided something."

"Have you?"

"About you and me."

"Hmm."

She stopped in front of him, took his bow from his hand, lifting his quiver from it's place across his back, unclasping his cape at the nape of his neck, setting all three items on the floor.

"What have you decided, milady?"

She sighed, portraying annoyance and he corrected himself, "Your Majesty". She did not answer, nor she needed to. Kicking her shoes off, she dropped several inches, making him unconsciously turn his head down to follow the lips that barely touched his.

Lifting her hands to her own hair, she took two pins, one in each hand, and dark locks fell down, over her shoulders and down her back. Turning her head to the right, she exposed her neck to him and if she was hunting him, he was such easy pray, because he leaned right in, inhaling that scent of hers that he couldn't explain.

She hummed when he touched his lips to her skin, feeling her pulse pick up under the tip of his tongue. Lifting her hand to his neck, she caressed his shoulder, ran her fingers behind his ear, into his hair. His own hand lifted to her waist, bringing her closer to him, the other one gently angling her head back so he could taste more of her neck.

He didn't know how, but she had moved them. Pushing his chest away from her, his knees hit plush fabric and then he was sitting down in a chair. Pulling the skirt of her tight dress up her legs, she lifted, lifted until he saw ankles, knees, thighs. Satisfied, she knelt on top of him, her legs besides his, her hands on the collar of his shirt.

"Now", her voice was so so low, soft, and he was sure she could command him to do her bidding, anything at all, just by talking to him. "I'm not very familiar with these garments, peasant attire was never an interest of mine."

He huffed out a chuckle, his breath suddenly labored.

"Care to help me with this?" She tugged on his shirt and, Lord, how could he not? Straightening his back, he pulled his shirt over his shoulder, not caring what happened to it after he dropped it. "That's better", she all but breathed, placing both hands on his chest.

"I hope this isn't some horrid plot to rip my heart out, Your Majesty."

She sat on his legs, his hands leaving angry red marks on the creamy skin of her thighs.

"I don't need to rip your heart out for you to do what I want, do I?"

"I don't know what you want", he lifted his face and caught the skin of her neck between his teeth again.

"Don't you?"

He had to go. He had to leave, immediately, before he went too deep, too far, and he knew if he did that, he wouldn't be ale to come back. He wouldn't want to.

Tipping his head up to hers, she captured his lips in a slow kiss, perhaps the most enticing one they had shared yet.

Hands firm on her legs, he ran them up and to her hips, bringing her closer to where he was already aching, so ready, so demanding. She moaned and rotated on top of him, making him hiss and buck under her.

"Don't you know what I want, Robin?"

Every time she said his name, his blood ran a little faster. She only said it when they were alone, and he was now conditioned to associate his name, on her lips, with the best of sensations.

"Don't you want the same thing I do?"

Lowering his hands back to her knees, he found the hem of her dress, and yanked it up, jostling her, making her grab his neck to avoid falling and lift herself slightly, so he could move the dress over her hips.

Breathing hard, she caught the lobe of his left ear between her teeth, letting out a strangled sound when his hand became bolder, resting open on her belly button.

"I should go".

As he always said when he felt he was losing control of the situation. Sometimes she was the one who would say it, and they would breathe, calm themselves, smile, kiss one more time and say goodbye.

"I think you should stay", she whispered, turning his face back to hers, moving on top of him. "I want you to stay."

"Regina."

His tone was a warning, a plea, for mercy and permission and for her.

"I want you to stay with me."

Rocking over him, she ran her hands down his chest, fingers slowly working on his pants, and he was powerless, his own hands grabbing the flesh of her bottom, making her moan in his mouth and rock once more against him, and he was breathing hard, his brow furrowed, thoughts spinning inside his head so fast he couldn't keep up, couldn't make sense of his reasoning anymore, all he felt was her, perched over him, doing things to him that he would so easily describe as torture, because at the same time she was taking, she wasn't taking enough. She wasn't giving him enough, just teasing him with what could be.

Until she wasn't. Her teeth nibbling on his ear, she fished him out of his pants and grabbed him in her hand, and he gasped loudly, seeing stars and squeezing her flesh in his hands instinctively, an act designed more to anchor himself in the sea of sensation than to please her, but apparently it did, because she moaned, rocked again and started working her hand on him, delicately, almost timidly, but surely and he attached his mouth to her neck and bit and sucked and tortured whatever skin he could find, using his teeth and tongue and lips on her neck, his hands bringing her hips forward to where her hand was working, and he threw his head back, trying to reign in some self control, some sense of what was going on, of what they were doing, but by all the gods above, her face caught his eyes, her expression, her own eyes trained on him, those lips, so full, so ready for his, and he whimpered.

"Regina."

"Yes."

He lifted his back from the chair again and caught her in a kiss once more, desperate, urgent, punishing and pleading.

"Will you stay with me, Robin?"

"Hmm, yes."

Getting up on her knees again, it was her turn to throw her head back and sigh in pleasure when he pulled her in and down, over him, the relief he felt when she sank back down, taking him slowly inside her making him gasp loudly.

"Uh, fuck", he said, finding a different spot in her neck and biting again, one hand weaving itself in her hair, keeping her head tilted down, her face closer to his so he could kiss her lips, swallow her moans and cries, his right hand still on her hip, pulling and pushing her against him more emphatically now, his own hips working up to meet hers, his tongue running it's own hypnotic paths against hers.

She moved against him, and he noticed how she would shudder whenever he moved in a certain way, or pressure was applied to a particular spot, and he pushed her shoulder away for a second, just so he could pull the rest of her dress up over her head, immediately attacking the newly uncovered skin with his lips, worshiping her with his body, getting so lost in her that if someone asked his name in that moment, he wouldn't know how to answer.

All he knew was her.

"Fuck, you feel so good", he whispered in her ear, his hands moving up and down, feeling her skin get damper under his hands, running them over hips and back, guiding her on him, teasing her breast with his right while his other caressed a leg, one of his fingers swiping across her lips, smearing some of her make up, bringing her face to his, swallowing her moans.

She brought her hands to each side of his neck, running her fingers on his jaw, and their eyes locked for a moment.

She felt incredible there, on top of him while he sat on that chair that appeared out of nowhere behind him. But her face was so beautiful in that moment, that look she gave him was so open and almost vulnerable, he made a decision.

One hand on her back and another on her hip, holding her to him, he got up, making her gasp loudly at the sudden movement and cling to him.

"Hold on, my love."

The pet name came out of nowhere, without his permission, and he would stop and ponder over it if she wasn't right there, warm and alive and vibrant against him, so he deposited her on the bed, making quick work of his pants and kicking his shoes aside, and joining her there, kissing his way up her body before placing her wrists over her head, releasing them a moment later, just so he could touch her arms, her face, pause to work on her breasts, her stomach, giving up pleasuring her with his fingers in favor of attaching one hand on her hip, the other running down her left leg to her knee and lifting it, sinking into her one more time, moving lazily, watching and savoring the way she felt, the way she moved, how her voice broke into pleasured gasps when he moved.

"Oh God..." she cried, her nails now scratching his back, the bite of them making him move harder against her. "Ah- yes-"

"God, you're beautiful."

He kissed, he bit, he moved, they moved, they rearranged, she cried his name, she kissed him back, he climbed higher, higher, higher, she crashed before him, trying to swallow a scream and he kissed her again, silencing her and allowing her to moan, strangled moans when he continued moving against her, over, her, fast, fast, so hard, and when she compressed her hands against his back, a loud cry in his ear, he caught one breast, biting the skin under it, sucking and working it through his teeth, intentionally leaving an angry bruise there, just to make sure she wouldn't forget about this so soon, and he came with her name on his mind, his mouth closed over her skin, her legs still tightly twisted around him.

She kissed him one more time, rolling under him until they were lying on their side, and she bit her lip and smiled at him.

"Anything else", he breathed, still working on catching his breath, "I can do for you, Your Majesty?"

Chuckling, she rested her head on his shoulder and he hugged her to him, lying on his back, looking at the expensive fabric covering her canopy bed.

"I'll think of something", she said, and then they were asleep, not talking about what they were going to do when they woke up.

I have more smut (and I'm bribing you with it).