A/N: I had this written last week, after getting the idea from watching the original Star Wars again, but decided to upload it today since it's may the fourth, so sorry for my fellow Europeans for missing my own deadline but sometimes life gets in the way of things. But anyways may the force be with you and I hope you enjoy.
"Why are they doing that." Ziva asked as they watched a security camera feed from autopsy, it showed McGee and Palmer fighting with toy laser swords, Tim's green, Jimmy's red while Abby looked on dressed in black robes laughing maniacally.
"It's a scene from Star Wars." Tony explained, "they're re-enacting it."
"Yeah, but why now, they manage the entire rest of the year without dressing up."
"It's may the fourth, it sounds like may the force, like they say in the movie, may the force be with you, Ziva." He said in his best force ghost Alec Guinness impression. "So it's Star Wars day, like a nerd holiday of sorts."
"Oh okay," Ziva said not really understanding. "I've never watched any of them."
"Really?" Tony asked astonished, "I can't believe you've never watched Star Wars."
"They're not my kind of thing Tony."
"You don't have to be a McGeek to enjoy Star Wars sweetcheeks. Let's watch it tonight."
"Why not." Ziva huffed, "we have to do something between dinner and bed, besides sex."
DiNozzo grinned widely at her, "Do we?"
"Yes we do." She said resolutely, "or that thing of yours is going to fall off, and I quite like it the way it is." Her footstep rang through his ears as he watched her backside, hips swaying for a while until his brain started working again and he realised she was his ride there, and ran to catch up with her before the elevator closed.
"Hurry up Zi, the movie's started." Tony shouted from the couch
Ziva glanced over from the kitchen where she was preparing some popcorn, "it's just a wall of text Tony, I'll be right there."
"It's the scrolling text intro Ziva, it's as iconic as the movie itself."
"Still just some yellow text." She argued.
"It was the 70's Ziva, it worked, it's classic now."
"Then let's not make the classics wait." She said ninja jumping on the couch next to him somehow preventing any of the popcorn from leaving it's container.
"What are you smirking at," Tony asked once the movie was finished.
"I know why you like this movie so much," She laughed, "you want to be Han Solo don't you?"
"No," He said too quickly, "what do you mean."
"Trying to be cool." She started.
"Hey I am cool." He protested.
She ignored him, "Acting like you don't care, when you actually do."
"I care about a lot of things, I just don't show it in a conventional way."
"The smile."
"Wow, wow, wow hold up right there cowgirl, this smile has been passed down for a dozen generations of DiNozzo's." He said pointing at his lips a proud DiNozzo grin displayed on them. "Harrison ford ain't got shit on this."
"No, he hasn't." She agreed cupping his cheek to run her finger over his lips. "But, You like looking down on Tim, like he does Luke."
"I don't look down on Probie, I treat him like an equal." He tried to argue but one look from her shut him up.
"The constant nicknames, sweetheart, sweetcheeks, kid, Probie." She continued.
"So what, I like coming up with nicknames for people lot's of people do that."
"The wittiness, cracking jokes, The cockiness."
"I'm not cocky," Again one look shut him up so he threw his arms up in frustration, "okay we have some similarities but I don't try and be like Han Solo."
"Yes you do."
"No I don't"
"Yes you do."
The arguing continued until voices were raised to shouts and kept getting louder until eventually they were stopped by heated kisses, and replaced by even louder moans.
"You're exited today." Ziva said looking at Tony on the other side of the couch, as he sat down and started playing with her feet immediately excitedly massaging them.
"It's the best one, Empire's strike back." He said excitedly pulling her foot in the air as he talked with his Hands, his Italian heritage getting the better of him, "it has it all, new great characters like Lando and Yoda, Leia and Han can't stop being entertaining, the most iconic line in movie history, you'll love it."
She turned to the tv glad he finally let her feet loose, as he turned on the movie enjoying the scrolling text as Tony's much more gentle touches caressed her aching feet.
"Oh you definitely are like Han Solo." Ziva said smirking as they watched as Han and Leia couldn't stop arguing, from the frozen Planet to the asteroid field, no second was without argument and sexual tension.
"Oh, what is it now," Tony huffed, "Will you stop it, with your stupid theory of me trying to impersonate Han Solo."
"You like arguing with strong minded women." She said, "Its your fetish."
He shook his head in disbelief, "That's not my fetish, you know my fetishes."
"Yes it is."
"No its not."
"It gets you off Tony."
"No it does not." He angrily huffed.
"Oh yes it does." She said straddling him. "I think you really do like it, I bet you're rock hard right now." She whispered huskily, her Hand moving down to his crotch but before it could finish it's journey he swatted it away.
"It's not my fetish okay." He growled, "and no amount of your seducing powers is going to change that, now scoot off." he said slapping her ass making her yelp and move off him, "I'm trying to watch a movie."
And they did with arguing fuelled sexual tension that mirrored the movie.
"You used that line on me." She said angrily near the end of the movie, hitting him on the arm, hard the pain stinging where she hit him.
"It's a good line." He protested.
"And I thought you were so cool and witty and clever, with your 'I know', but it's just a stupid line from a stupid movie."
"Oh wait a minute now missy," He argued back. "Star Wars is not just a stupid movie, it's a classic, impacted entire generations, it's not just a movie it's a cultural phenomenon."
"It's about space wizards Tony!" She said raising her Hands in the air in disbelief.
"Yeah, so?! I bet McGee spent half his childhood dressed like one, that's the impact this films has."
"Like you did," She smiled smugly, "only dressed as Han Solo."
"I did not." He protested.
"I bet if I asked your dad, he'd confirm it." She teased.
"Like he'd even notice." Tony said solemnly.
But it was not sympathy but anger that flared up in Ziva's eyes. "Oh no, you don't Tony, you do not bring up daddy issues when we're arguing about a stupid movie! That's dirty and I've got plenty were that's coming from."
With that she turned away from him her arms folding over her chest her feet retreating from him and a huff leaving her lips as she turned the film back on.
"See I'm not like Han Solo, I never got frozen in carbonite." Tony said after the movie.
"You do not have to be exactly like him, to be like him Tony." Ziva argued, "besides with your luck I'm surprised it hasn't happened yet, you got the plague for god's sake, people in the hospital recognize me as the lady whose worried because her boyfriend got shot again for crying out loud."
"I'm not that bad, you get yourself in plenty of sticky situations yourself, sweetcheeks."
The arguing continued and ended in much the same way as yesterday, it seemed arguing movies was the best thing for their sex lives, since … well arguing about Ziva's driving skills.
"Now the final chapter, the last Star Wars movie." Tony said clicking on the remote.
"I thought there were more." Ziva said frowning.
"There are, but we do not talk about those abominations, not in this house."
Ziva just shrugged at his over dramatic behaviour used to it by now and focused her attention on the movie.
About 20 minutes into the movie, Ziva could feel Tony's eyes on her and in the corner of her vision she could see him smirking at her. "I am not wearing that." She warned him, "do not even think about it."
"I didn't say anything." He protested holding up his Hands.
"You were thinking it." She said pointing at him menacingly.
"Come on, you got to admit it's kinda hot."
"It's disgusting, she's sitting next to that slime monster like some sort of sex slave." Ziva angrily huffed.
"So? It's still hot." Tony argued, "I bet that was Probie's first boner, right there."
She slapped him but couldn't help the smile that appeared on her face as they continued watching the movie.
"I liked the teddy bears, they were cute." Ziva said once it was finished.
Tony gave her an astonished look, "Out of all of that: the ultimate redemption story, the grand space ship battle, the fight between light and dark, you like the ewoks most of all? No one likes them, even Abby thinks they are too cutesy for the movie. "
"Too cutesy? It's a movie with space wizards and a space princess Tony."
"It also has people choking to death, and planets blowing up."
"Sorry for insulting your childhood fantasy film, with your childhood fantasy of being Han Solo."
"Do not start this again." He warned, "Cause you know how this ends."
"Maybe I like how this ends." She teased, her finger enticing him closer.
The millennium falcon soared through space as it was shot on by 2 star destroyers it's lasers smashing into the rear shields, a squad of tie fighters hot on it's tail.
"We have to go through he asteroid field, it's the only way to shake them." He said.
The roar from the Wookie besides him sounded suspiciously a lot like Ziva's snoring.
"I know it's dangerous but it's the only way."
Another roar sounded from chewie's mouth.
"Just do it you big furball, I'm going to shoot those fighters down."
He rushed towards the turrets and began firing, the sound of lasers in space filling his ears through the magic of movie logic as they connected and soon asteroid and lasers made quick works of the squadron.
He had evaded the empire, successfully sold his illegal cargo and was now seated in a cosy cantina filled with the worst the galaxy had to offer after killing one such punk who tried to mess with him. He put his feet up lazily on the table, his Hands resting on the back of his head as he smiled cockily self-satisfied looking cool as heck with his blaster still fuming on the table, "I don't try to be like Han Solo I am like Solo baby."
"Is that so?" a seductive female voice asked as a masked women came towards him hips swaying as she perched herself on his lap, "cause I don't think so." her mask was pulled down revealing an alien looking Ziva with green skin and Twi'lek hair thingies as she grabbed his blaster and shot him.
He gasped as he pushed himself upright, his chest heaving from being so forcefully woken from his dream. He collapsed back against his pillow still breathing heavily, sweat pouring from his skin.
Ziva crawled up on him her fingers playing with his chest hair as she looked up at him with an amused smile and laughter in her eyes, "You think Han Solo wakes up in the middle of the night from bad dreams?" She asked belittlingly. He looked at her a cute confused expression on his face, "I am like Solo, baby." She said putting extra intonation on the last word.
"Wait can you read my mind, are you a Jedi Ziva." He panicked, all the dirty thoughts over the years about her spilling in his mind, he was done for.
"No you idiot." She said flicking his head with her finger, "You talk in your sleep, well more then that, you even add sound effects, like the pew pew, of lasers and the whoosh of going into hyperspace, you even hummed the theme tune from time to time."
"Oh god." he groaned in embarrassment.
"It was entertaining though she said smiling, your own private space adventure and I got to listen in."
"Don't tell Probie." He begged.
"I won't, captain DiNozzo." She teased before nuzzling back into his shoulder, "Now go to sleep the real world awaits tomorrow, no time for space adventure."
But sleep couldn't come for Tony and when the snoring started and Ziva began to sound suspiciously like Chewbacca, he whispered for all the galaxy to hear, "I am Han Solo."
AN: It's always hard to know what niche works in fanfiction and what doesn't so depending on how this does and if I get more inspiration, I might do some more of these, so any movie suggestion is welcome.