This first chapter is named after a Lostprophets songs. Let me know what you think. If you like i'll update frequently if not i'll update the second chapter to see if you think it improves. Thank you guys who bother to read this in advance
Chapter 1: Broken Heats, Torn Up Letters And The Sotry Of A Lonely Girl
As I made my was up the long, beautifully decorated isle I felt my heart sink knowing that I was about to lose the one thing that mattered most to me in my life
As I made my was up the long, beautifully decorated isle I felt my heart sink knowing that I was about to lose the one thing that mattered most to me in my life. Brooke Davis. My best friend. She was getting married today and I couldn't help the twinges of jealousy I felt whenever anyone mentioned the impending marriage of her and Lucas Scott. She had asked me to be the maid of honour, knowing that I could never refuse her and that irresistible charm that she held. However I was not feeling very honourable at this moment. The only feelings that I felt at this exact moment were guilt and jealousy.
As I followed Haley, who Brooke had asked to be bridesmaid, down the isle I noticed Jake sitting close to the front of the church. He smiled widely at me as he pointed me out to a beaming Jenny that sat beside him. The beautiful eyes of the little blonde girl landed on me and a grin spread across her face as she waved towards me. I smiled back in return as I clutched tightly onto the ivory and purple coloured rose bouquet I held and allowed my eyes to focus on the back of Haley's head in an effort to relieve myself of some of the guilt I was currently feeling.
Jake Jagielski was my fiancé but I knew that he was my second choice really. The desire for a family was what drew me to Jake, he was handsome and he made me happy, I did love him but there was someone else who had my heart and always would. I knew it was wrong to be with him because I could be happy having a family that I had longed for but never received yet it didn't matter to me at the time when I accepted the proposal. All that mattered was that I knew I was losing the one person that I had a chance of having a family and being happy with and that Jake was there to love me and that I could see myself being content with him. After all I had only said yes to his proposal because Brooke had said yes to Lucas. In the moment that I found out she was engaged I knew that any small chance I had to be truly happy with the one person I would always love was gone.
My eyes rested intently on Lucas as he waited anxiously for his soon to be bride to come down the isle. It killed me more inside each time someone referred to her as his in any way. She was and would always be my B. Davis, just as I would always be her P. Sawyer. She was the person who had told me that many years ago when we had first became friends and she often reminded me of it throughout our friendship. This was meant to be the happiest day of her life. She was getting married to a man who she loved and who loved her and could give her a life full of happiness. So shouldn't I be happy for her? Was it selfish that all I could think about was how I wished that I was the one that could make her happy?
I saw Lucas smile warmly at me as I got closer to where he stood and I instantly felt guilty of my thoughts. The happiness that Lucas was clearly feeling was radiating off him and affecting everybody else in the church. Everyone else but me. My eyes flickered to Nathan, who stood next to Lucas, he had a wide smile on his face which grew when his eyes rested on Haley who I moved to stand next to at the top of the isle. It would only be a moment until Brooke was walking down the isle, with her perfect chestnut coloured locks bouncing slightly with each step she took towards being Mrs. Lucas Scott. My heart leaped to my throat as I imagined her saying those two binding words to the tall blonde man that stood a metre or so away from me. 'I do'. In my mind I watched how Brookes perfect smile would grow and those irresistible dimples would appear as she spoke these words to Lucas, her thoughts of a perfect future with the man that we had nearly lost our friendship over filling her head as she said them. I fought away the nagging feeling inside of me, the one that told me this was wrong, that I should do something to stop this. Brooke knew what she was doing and if a life with Lucas Scott was what was going to make her happy then I wouldn't do anything to jeopardise that. I heard the soft piano music begin the tune of 'here comes the bride' and I felt yet another part of myself die inside of me as I saw her appear at the opposite end of the isle.