She will be loved: How Jacob Black thinks about Bella when she says her final goodbye.

Jacob Blacks point of view.

Isabella Marie Swan.. Beautiful, sweet, always so self sacrificing.

She is troubled. Though, isn't everybody?

I hug her tighter in my arms as her silent sobs burn more holes into my already broken heart. She sits up and says the words that will forever be in my mind. 'I love you.' I smile and chuckle silently. 'Love you more.' A tear slides down her flawless skin and I feel my heart break into a million new pieces. It's physically painful to not feel her in my arms anymore. I know she's just going back to that bloodsucker.

I watch the door close and turn over, letting a stray tear escape me.

I think back at the times I had with her.. I know I'll regret it later on. I couldn't care less.

I bite my lip and stare at the phone sitting on the counter. It makes no sound. My dad asks to use it but I growl and he takes it as a no. Should I call Bella or not? I want to, but I'm so nervous. I decide to call her. I miss her so much already.

I dialed her number and blush under my skin. I hope she doesn't answer. Maybe it will go to voicema-

"Hello?" She sounded breathless. I suddenly felt guilty. Did I call at a bad time?

"Bella," I tried to sound formal and laughed silently at how I sounded. I sighed. It was now or never. "I believe that . . . we have a date" I pursed my lips hoping she didn't take it the wrong way.

She didn't answer for a second or two. Finally she got it.

"They're done? I can't believe it!" I smiled. My mind automatically went to the two motorcycles Bella had asked me to fix up a while ago, sitting in my garage.


"Yeah, they run and everything."

"Jacob, you are absolutely, without a doubt, the most talented and wonderful person I know. You get ten years for this one."

My heart soars. She has no idea how those few words made me breathless. I smile larger and dad raises an eyebrow in my direction.

"Cool! I'm middle-aged now." I hear Bella laugh on the other line and my face got warm. I loved when she laughed.

"I'm on my way up!"


"Bye Bells, See you soon!"


'Beep, beep, beep'

Guess she hung up. I ran out of the house to the garage and grab the red bike and park it under a spruce tree that isn't visible from the house. I didn't want my dad noticing and telling Charlie. I ran back and grabbed the black one and place it right beside the red one.

They didn't look as good as they could have. I raise an eyebrow and smile when I think about the blue ribbon sitting on the floor of my garage. I run in and grab it, tucking it under my arm. I go back to the bikes and wrap it around each of the handle bars in small bows.


I ran back in the house and decided to waste time. Might as well eat before I leave. I opened the fridge and dad sat in his chair at the table with a newspaper in his hand. He stared at me rather than looking at it, though.

"What?" I asked slightly distracted. What was so interesting about me looking for food?

"Something up with you and Bella today?" His eyebrows formed a 'V' shape and he turned to face me all the way. What was up with his sudden interest in my business?

"Yeah, we're hanging out today. Why?"

He looked down and coughed. "Just don't get to mad okay? You don't want to.. Er.. Never mind. Have fun."

I didn't know what to say so I just stood with the fridge open staring at my dad. Get mad? At Bella? Not possible.

"What do you-"

I was interrupted by the roar of an engine that I knew all to well. I closed the door to the fridge and decided to eat later. I could also talk to my dad about his weird behavior later. He didn't have to worry about me getting mad at Bella. My Bella.

I ran out of the house waving at my dad once. I looked into the truck and Bella sat in the front seat laughing. She obviously noticed the bikes. I smiled, happy to know she enjoyed the ribbons.

"Ready?" I asked in a low voice. I was so happy, I felt like I was glowing.

She looked over my shoulder, probably to see if my dad was there. "Yeah." She didn't sound to excited but I let it pass. She must be worried about the actuality of riding the bikes. I wouldn't let her get hurt though.

I grabbed the bikes and put them in the bed of the truck -carefully- laying them on their sides. "Let's go." I said excited. I had been thinking about the perfect place to ride them and I had remembered there's a trail right by the cliffs, but far enough away that Bella couldn't possibly harm herself. It was vacant, right by the ocean, and we could be totally alone.

"I know the perfect spot-no one will catch us there."

I pull myself out of the memory and roll onto my right side. I moan at the pain and roll back over to my left. The pain from almost every bone in the right side of my body had been replaced by a new, worse pain. I close my eyes and jump into another memory.

I jump in my car and turn the ignition. I've been so worried about Bella, I just have to see her. Bella told me about the bloodsucker, Victoria, that's after her. I hiss her name and shake a little. I calm myself before anything can happen. I see my dad peek through the window and I ignore him completely. The rain drops hard on my windshield. Would this damn rain never stop?

I drive silently, listening to the purr of the engine. Various pictures of Bella behind my sleepy eye lids. I'm almost to Bella's house when I smell something vile. Of course her bloodsucker was here. At least he's good for one thing, protecting Bella. I couldn't care less if he's here while I am though. Bella would never know I came anyways. Would it matter to her?

I pull over about three miles from her house and run the rest of the way there. I stop when I see her dark window. I hide behind a tree. I can see the leech, Edward, staring out the window. I think of the night Sam found Bella lying on the ground and hiss with every ounce of hatred in my body.

'I hate you.'

I know he can hear me. I smile as I watch his face turn pained. I think about all the times me and Bella walked hand in hand along New Beach. He doesn't belong here. I should be the one in there with my sleeping Bella. I laugh at the irony. He couldn't sleep even if he wanted to. Never be able to dream about Bella like I do every night since I set my eyes on her. But..

He will never have to dream about being with Bella, because he has her.

He will never have to wonder 'what if' because the if is now.

He will never have to feel this pain the pains me every second of every day, because she's his.

He will never have to wonder what her lips feel like on his. He knows.

I close my eyes and picture her face. Her smiling face, without him. Her delicate features. Her lips. How badly I want to kiss them. Melt into her. Make her mine. What hurts more is I can see how things would turn out, too. I sigh and look back at the window.

I feel myself shaking and anger boils up inside of me, raising the hairs on my arms. He closed the window! Doesn't matter. I never planned on going inside. I try to deny it but I knew I wanted to.

I listen carefully and I can hear her heart beat normally. I smile to myself. I will definitely miss that when.. I shy away from the thought of Bella being cold like her leech. I promised myself I would never leave her, but what if I have no choice? What if when she is changed I want nothing more then to kill her? No. Never. I would never want to harm her. No matter how bad she smells.

I chuckle and flop myself on the cold ground. The rain still pours on me violently. I now wish more than ever I was inside, with the woman I love, keeping her warm in my arms. Instead of him. He didn't even have a heart. I was happy to say that was the one thing I had that he did not..

I prepare myself to stay here all night. I lay down and get comfortable -as comfortable as you get sleeping on the soaking grass- and close my eyes. I see Bella. My Bella. I see her from a thousand different angles in my mind. I slowly drift off to sleep with the image of Bella sleeping soundly in my arms..

I let out a moan and open my eyes again. I was torturing myself, but it was worth it. I was happy to know she loved me though. I would always cherish that memory. I closed my eyes and remembered our first fight.

I run trough the forest with Sam, Embry, Paul, and Jared. My paws hit the ground with intense speed. I love how it feels to run. To forget. I take in a deep breath and stop myself when I smell something sickeningly familiar. No. Couldn't have been. I hadn't seen Bella in..

It had been a long time. I knew that much. Ever since Sam said I couldn't see or even speak with Bella, life has been a living hell. I almost considered ignoring his request -demand really- for a while. Sam saw where my thoughts were roaming and thought of Emily, his imprint.

Her standing in the kitchen. How he got angry with her, over a little thing. How stupid. They shouldn't fight like that. Sam shook with rage and his fists tightened, showing the white of his bone under his skin. Emily's face turned frightened. Sam changed, and growled loudly, swiping Emily's beautiful face with his claw.

Sam then realized what he did. His eyes went wide with horror. He ran out of the house and-


The images ended. I could feel Sam's pain. His self doubt. His hatred towards himself.

"You didn't mean to.It was an accident, Sam." I said, not running anymore.

"Exactly. All it takes is an accident." Sam bowed his head in shame. I sighed. "Now do you see why you have to stay away from Bella? You're just making things worse on yourself, Jacob."

"But I love her Sam!" I yelled in my head. The pain was faint, only because I was in wolf form. I shuttered away from the little pain that was there. I couldn't even imagine what I would feel right now if I was in my human form.

"She's just a girl. Get over her." Paul. Jared pictured me and Paul fighting and I growled loudly. Just a girl?

"She isn't just a girl! She's the girl I love! I desire!" Every hair on my body had raised and Sam told us to calm down. We all started running, but I barely paid any attention to where I was going. I just followed Sam and the others. I felt pity coming from Jared and I cursed him mentally. I didn't need his pity.

I took another deep breath of the air and knew for a fact the scent I smelt. Bella..

"Jacob, don't! Do you want to put her in harms way!?" Sam.

I ignored him completely and ran towards the truck. I remembered I was in wolf form and ran back into the woods fast, changing back into human. I slipped my sweat pants off my leg and pulled them on.

I walked cautiously up the the too familiar red '53 Chevy truck.

I looked in her window expecting her to look up. She had a piece of paper, and she was drawing diamonds in a row. The other four ran quickly behind me and Sam stood farthest from me. He nodded once. I sighed and tapped against her door.

She jumped, startled, and looked right into my eyes. I looked at her beautiful face. Her brown, now frightened, eyes. Her long brown hair surrounding it, flowing freely. Her heart shaped face. The scarlet on her cheeks. Her blank expression. I couldn't hurt her, but when if I slipped like Sam did? How could I live with myself? I had to end this, once and for all. For Bella.

"What are you doing here, Bella?" I growled. I hated how she looked me over, pain all over her face. She looked like she was on the verge of crying. I wanted to comfort her, but stood still.

"Jacob?" Bella whispered. I didn't know what to say, so I just stared. I didn't know how my face would look to her, but I hope it didn't look to angry.

Her face turned pained and she gripped her side. She struggled in the car like she needed air. I started to panic. Did I hurt her that badly?

"What do you want?" I got irritated as her face went from pained, to angry, to frustrated, to pained again. Bella sat there for a moment just watching me.

"I want to talk to you." She said in a weak voice. I stood straiter and sighed. I knew that much. She still didn't get that I couldn't be with her.

"Go ahead" I said through my teeth. I glared at her. I had never glared at her, never even needed to.

"Alone!" She hissed. Her voice was loud and vicious. Her face was no longer sweet or pained, but wrinkled with rage.

I looked behind me, just now remembering my brothers standing behind me. I turned to the only person who I needed permission from. Sam.

Sam nodded once, and I felt my stomach drop.

"Ta-til." Grave. I knew what he was implying. I had to keep my anger under control. I nodded once and Paul shook his head. My brothers followed Sam into my house.

I finally turned back around. "Okay." I said in a regular tone. My face became calmer as well, but also more hopeless. I couldn't stop frowning. I took a little step back away from Bella.

She took a deep breath and looked right in my eyes. Her beautiful brown eyes..

"You know what I want to know." I knew. I just couldn't answer. I wanted to, but I knew my brothers could hear. I got angry again and looked down at her.

"Can we walk?" She asked. I listened to Sam talk to me about saying no, but I couldn't refuse. There was no way. She opened her door and Jared and Sam stared at her, and sighed. Paul had gone off to the kitchen, I suspect. She started walking towards the woods and I swallowed once and started following her.

She made a lot of noise. I wanted to make fun of her for being so loud, but I resisted. She turned back around and looked at me. She seemed surprised that I was right beside her. Bella turned back forward and kept walking. Soon enough, Sam and the other were out of view. I knew that's what she wanted. Even if he wasn't visible, he would hear.

She just kept walking, and walking. Bella never stopped. I sighed quietly and swung myself in front of her, stopping her in her path.

"Let's get this over with." I was getting very impatient. She didn't speak, but I knew what she wanted. "It;s not what you think. It's not what I thought – I was way off."


She stopped me from finishing my speech. "So what is it then?" I pictured telling her. How she would react. Would she hate me? What would Sam say? Do I care what Sam would say? I didn't want to hurt her..

"I can't tell you." I said quietly. I knew she could hear.

She got mad and snapped her mouth shut. Her jaw tightened and she spoke through her teeth. "I thought we were friends." I felt a new pain in my stomach. "We were." I dropped my eyes to her feet, but she never really seemed to notice. Her breathing got faster and her face turned red.

"But you don't need friends anymore. You have Sam. Isn't that nice – you've always looked up to him so much." She hissed at me. I suddenly felt defensive for my brother.

"I didn't understand him before."

"And now you've seen the light. Hallelujah."

"It wasn't like I thought it was. This isn't Sam's fault. He's helping me as much as he can." I looked over her shoulder where I knew Sam would be. He thanked me and I nodded, knowing he wouldn't see. I looked back down at Bella, angry now.

"He's helping you. Naturally." She repeated me. I started shaking and breathing hard. I had to end this fast. I had to calm myself.

"Jacob, please. Won't you tell me what happened? Maybe I can help." I was still shaking when I answered her back.

"No one can help me now." I moaned the words and my voice broke. How much I wish that wasn't true.

She stared at me with worry painted on her face.

"What did he do to you?" She demanded. She started to get tears in her eyes. She put her hand out to touch me and stepped forward. I jumped away and held up my arms.

"Don't touch me." I whispered. That would only make things worse.

"Is Sam catching?" She mumbled. Her tears fell over down her cheek. I wanted to comfort her. To wipe them away, but she got there first.

"Stop blaming Sam." I said fast. I didn't mean to. I suddenly felt like I had to do something so I reached up to twist my hair around, but I found nothing. Due to being a werewolf, I had to cut all my hair off. I dropped my hands to my sides.

"Then who should I blame?" She asked.

I almost smiled, but I resisted it. "You don't want to hear that." She didn't.

"The hell I don't!" She snapped. "I want to know, and I want to know now" She yelled back. "You're wrong." I snapped back. I didn't want to hurt her more.

"Don't you dare tell me I'm wrong – I'm sure not the one who got brainwashed! Tell me now whose fault this all is, if it's not your precious Sam!" She yelled to me. Anger flared up in me again. Brainwashed?

"You asked for it." I growled. "If you want to blame someone, why don't you point your finger at those filthy, reeking bloodsuckers that you love so much!" I regretted the words that came out of my mouth. I wanted to disappear. I hated myself. Her mouth fell open and her breathing became louder. She didn't close her mouth. She didn't talk.

"I told you that you didn't want to hear it." I said hoping to take some of the pain away.

"I don't understand who you mean." She whispered. I sighed. I raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "I think you understand exactly who I mean. You're not going to make me say it, are you? I don't like hurting you."

"I don't understand what you mean." She repeated. How stupid.

"The Cullens." I said it slowly, drawing out the word. Her face turned pained instantly. "I saw that – I can see in your eyes what it does to you when I say their name." And I hated it.

She shook her head back in fourth in denial.

"Don't tell me you're listening to Billy's superstitious nonsense now." She was mocking my tone.

"He knows more than I gave him credit for."

"Be serious, Jacob." I glared, hard, back at Bella. Serious? The truth is a beautiful and terrible thing, and should therefore be treated with great caution.

I rolled onto my back gasping for air. How could I have hurt her like that? I was a monster! I started sobbing. My dad once said facing it was the only way to get through it. I couldn't stand facing it! This pain was unbearable. I desired Bella. I would love her until gravity gave up on me. Even after! I sobbed harder into my pillow, finally falling into a much needed sleep where I could -once again- dream about my Bella.