Ever experienced sensory overload?
I have. It sucks donkey dick. There are few times I can just get fucking unbearably irritable. Those times are when I've gone too long without sleep, or the same without food. Pretty standard right? Not much to wave around at a party, how about being plucked up by some random fucking green tear in the air and being popped out in some funky ass ruins, unfortunately having my shirt burn off-my favourite shirt!-and taking an orb with the density of a dying fucking star to the chest.
Fuck today man, I just can't even.
Bleary eyes opened, the dim light provided by torches hitched onto the wall useless at the moment. The ground was hard, stone actually. His arms wouldn't respond to any commands he'd given them so he remained face down on the ground, throwing all his weight to the side he rolled onto his back and was able to breath a great deal easier, black hair clouded his vision but he didn't bother to blow it away he was exhausted, every muscle in his body felt like it was completely spent and he was thoroughly fatigued.
The idle chill of the cold ground was not exactly unpleasant against his overheated body, but it wasn't the greatest sensation to be touching a who knows how dirty floor with his bare skin. Ugh. How he wished for a shirt, too much to ask? Probably.
"Sweet dark, what have I done to deserve all this shit?" Asked the young man to the low lit room, rhetorical of course but it seems the door being flung open were about to provide him with his answer, a few heavy steps and he was hauled up to his knees. "Delicate as expected." He murmured, flicking his hair back to reveal a fair skinned young man with eyes like molten gold. Green markings dotted his chest and flowed to the palms of his hands. The markings thrummed gently with each beat of his heart.
He was well toned to be sure, looking like the athletic type that could also snap your neck if he flexed in your general direction. The sounds of swords being sheathed reached his ears, he looked around to see four men all clad in leathers with stupid looking helmets on their heads and scowled.
"You fuckers were there the whole time and didn't even bother to help me up?" He questioned with a snarl, only to receive a whack to the head from the she-hulk in black armour, her skin was tanned and she had a scar on her cheek, dark eyes and short black hair.
"You don't get to ask questions, we do. First one, tell me why we shouldn't kill you now?" She asked, Nevarran eh?. "The Conclave is destroyed, everyone who attended is dead. Except... for you." She finished her little prance about with a firm point right to his face.
It was now he noticed the other woman, sporting chainmail/leather armour with a hood that flowed to some faux tabard. It looked fucking rediculous. She had dark red, straight hair that looked to fall to her ears but the hood obscured a lot. Bright blue eyes that looked to wield the mask of sympathy.
"Better idea, you tell me who the fuck you are, why I'm shackled and what the fuck all that green shit was when I blacked out, and we'll have us a peachy little conversation." He shot back with a dry tone, bright gold eyes burrowing into coal black, her lip curled at this and she struck him again. This garnered a small chuckle in response.
"I'm not the kind of person you half heartedly torture sunshine, you either ask nicely, or I'm going to hang you by your insides on the nearest fucking tree." He said, a bright smile on his face that unnerved a few of the guards.
The redhead stepped in.
"We need him reasonable, Cassandra." Chastised the redhead.
"Yeah, Cassandra." He goaded childishly. Thoroughly amused, she growled at him but the redhead cooled her off.
"What do you remember?" She asked.
"Many things, my name. Where I was born, my birthday. Gotta be more specific sunshine." He informed, the woman sighed at his constant difficulty but persevered.
"Let's start with your name, and then the last thing you remember before falling unconscious."
"I am Menma, of the Uzumaki Clan. You might have heard of me. As to what I was doing? Walking through the woods outside of the port, soaking up a bit of nature before we set sail again." He said, an easy smile on his face.
"You're a Pirate!?" Snapped the brunette, oh shit we in it now boys!
"I am! See, I knew you'd have heard of me!" He said with a laugh.
"As in the Black Prince of Piracy?" Asked the redhead, curiosity getting the better of her for a moment. "What could you have been doing at the conclave?"
"Therein lies the question doesn't it? What would a pirate want with a religious summit? Nothing. The answer is fucking nothing. I don't care for your sky daddy nor do I care for your upjumped priests, I was sucked up by some green tear, copped a fuckin' orb to the chest, got some sweet tattoo's out of it and then woke up in this thoroughly accommodating cell with four men brandishing swords at me. Now, can I go and get some clothes and food because I'm about ready to flip my tits." He gradually spoke faster as he was quickly losing his patience.
It was always remarkable to see people shudder at his name, it did carry a lot of weight but it wasn't like he ruled the seas... yet. Black Prince was a little unoriginal, yes he liked to wear black and he had black hair but it was so cliché!
Cassy sweetums let out a suffering sigh and shook her head. "Go to the forward camp, Leliana. I'll take him to the rift... and get you a shirt." Assured the raven haired woman as she unshackled him, Leliana left the room with a nod. Menma barely managed to get up to his feet. "What's wrong with you?" Asked the woman, not expecting such pathetic stumbling from someone with so much vigor not seconds ago.
"I feel sore all over." He grunted in response. As he followed her out the door he was given sight to a little shanty town.
"Holy fucking shit!" Shouted the Pirate with wide eyes, a great green vortext in the sky sucking up debris. "I love the colour green but that's a bit much." He continued, a great deal more subdued than the previous outburst. His father had green eyes as did his little sister, he inherited his eyes from his grandmother and hair from grandfather, poor ol' mum was still sore he was a bustling little redhead.
"We call it the Breach." Informed Cassandra, grabbing a shirt and tossing it to him, with a grunt he fought his angry muscles and slipped it on, nothing overtly fancy but it'd suffice until he could get back to his ship. Now all he needed was a bloody weapon.
Who used swords-only swords!-nowadays anyway. This army was ridiculous, even if it was a militia that didn't excuse lack of spears. Tsk tsk tsk. Bloody plebs.
The Breach released a burst of energy and the markings on his own body responded, Menma grit his teeth and laughed in the face of pain, "Oh that's fucking wonderful!" He barked out through clenched teeth, shaking himself loose as he felt the seizing of his body cease. Cassandra raised a brow, possibly impressed he didn't keel over from shock, she gestured he follow her.
"It appeared after the explosion at the Conclave, your markings are the key to closing it, but do not be fooled they are killing you." Assured the woman. Menma rose a brow, they didn't feel that bad, truth be told, sure he felt fucking buggered at the moment but nothing a good nap and slamming some brekky wouldn't fix.
Cassandra prattled on about some old bitty, he wasn't paying attention. Looking around and ignoring everything else. She turned to him at some point and gave him a solid stare that wavered ever so slightly, "There will be a trial, that is all I can promise."
"The evidence is subjective and circumstantial at best, no one with half a brain would convict me. Then again I am surrounded by the faithful so I doubt I'll be living past the day." He barbed at her faith intentionally, a lot could be told from how people reacted to people poking fun at their beliefs or things they held dear.
Someone was insecure it seemed, as the death glare she gave him was positively cheeky. "That attitude of yours little missy, I could do without it." He lectured with a shake of the head, clicking his tongue at her like a disappointed parent.
She brushed him off in favour of directing him, they passed some checkpoint and started up a snowy path. Thank the seas he had his fabulous cuffed boots still, he'd hardly be able to be called a pirate without them. The fact they were wyvernhide was something he did enjoy lording over people with inferior shoes.
He missed his gloves though. A shame. Without them his puckish rogue persona suffered.
A Short While Later
Demons were fun and all but Menma much prefered not having them poping about, he'd startled poor Cassy by freezing one of the poor fuckers, without a staff. Because honestly who was so obvious as to use a staff? Stupid people that's who.
She was still a salty little sourpuss that she was.
The pair of them leapt over the wall to assist the new crew, a pair of dwarves and an elf, the elf looking like elves typically do, lanky and sad. He was bald and looked like he'd seen ages pass him by. The male dwarf was clad in a duster and wielded a repeating crossbow, and bearing his manly chest to the world.
The other was a stout young miss with a bow as big as she, adorable freckles and bright blue eyes, her orange-brown hair tied into a bun, she sported simple armour, most likely for mobility and minor protection, a scout perhaps?
Menma lifting his arms up and froze two Shades, Cassandra charging in like a bull and slamming her shield into one, shattering it, the dwarven duo blasting the other to little bits, Menma hopped down and was immediately nabbed by the elf who dragged his arm up and pointed his palm at the rift, Menma felt his whole body pull towards it, both his hand rising up unbidden and channeling green energy into the rift, knitting the tear closed.
It closed with an implosion making the Mage Pirate stumble back and greedily suck in air, he felt a flux of raw energy fill his core, soothing his aching muscles. "Splendid." He grumbled shaking himself out once more and trying to banish this ache.
"I had theorized the Mark bestowed upon you by the Breach's magic could also close the rifts, I am happy to say I was correct." Said the elf man with a smile.
"You mean it could close the Breach?" Asked Cassandra with a hopeful, but restrained, stride to her step, as she walked closer to the conversation.
"So it would seem, it appears you hold the key to our salvation."
"Well the roguish Prince of Pirates would be the key wouldn't he." Came the amused chuckle of the man dwarf, Menma grinned and did a little theatrical bow.
"It's fabulous to see you in such prime condition, Varric." Menma replied, the dwarf waved him off, "Never took you for a church man." Straightening out and placing his hands on his hips the magus seafarer raised a brow.
"I'm more of a prisoner, like yourself. And uninvited tagalong." Cassandra gave a repusled noise, Menma immediately shot the man a wink and grin. Before turning his attention to the Elf on his side.
"I am Solas, if there are to be introductions, I am pleased to see you still live." Menma offered the man his hand, the elf took it after a moment of hesitation.
"What he means by that is 'I kept that mark from killing you while you slept'." Supplied Varric.
"Like you, Solas is an Apostate." Added Cassandra.
"We're all technically apostates now." Replied Solas,
"Well either way, cheers for the effort mate." Offered Menma as he tuned out the Mage and the Zealot rolling his eyes he shifted his gaze and turned to the she-dwarf.
"And you darling, got a name?" He asked with a smile that had melted queens.
"Lace Harding, pleasure." Greeted the woman with a matched smirk.
Oh she was just a treat.
The Forward Camp
Menma tossed open the doors to the 'Forward Camp' if it could be called that, more like an assembly on a bridge and some tents near the entrance to some ruins. "Weapon, weapon, weapon..." Murmured the Pirate with a frown, swords, swords and more fucking swords!
This made him a very sad little sea-dog. Some Cleric was talking smack about him but he was ignoring the man, in favour of staring at the Breach, the ominous fracture in the previously gorgeous sky was an affront to any sailing man, but the sheer exhilaration he felt, the power coursing through his veins, it made him feel like a child again, endless energy and full of wonder.
"...I hereby order you to take this Criminal to Val Royeaux to be tried and executed!" Ordered the stuffy little man, this drew Menma's attention.
"You? Order me, you are a glorified clerk, a bureaucrat." Snapped the warrior woman, Menma looked at the man, up and down, he annoyed him already. So he clocked him right in the facehole, the man was sent tumbling over a table whilst Cassy-darling sighed and facepalmed.
"So what do we do now?" Asked the Pirate Prince with a grin.
Temple Ruins
A big Pride Demon was being quite the motherfucker, Menma had to draw on magic he'd never touched and learn as he went, not the hardest given the adrenaline pumping through his veins making it easier to concentrate, but still it had to be noted he had no idea what he was doing.
"Archers, aim for the eyes!" Ordered the Pirate Mage, drawing magic directly from the Fade in the Breach and creating a great tide to thrash against the demon, Solas took the idea the elf mage smirked at the Pirate as the pair froze the waters, pinning the beast.
"I'm going to try and sap some power from the Breach!" Said Menma over the clashing of steel against ethereal flesh and the screams of those around them, Solas nodded as Menma thrust his arms up and links of green shot into the rift below the breach, that had spawned the Pride demon.
"Fire explosive shots!" Ordered an archer on the wall overlooking the troops that stood between them and the demons running rampant. Explosions began to litter the demons head it roared in pain, managing to free its arm and release a whip of electricity to sweet across the field, sending several of those on their side to collapse due to shocks.
"Solas, can you heal them?" Asked Menma as he kept drawing more and more power, his sclera turning a bright green as the veins in his arms pulsed rapidly.
"I can, but it will not be enough. I am running low." Said the elf as he summoned up the remaining remnants of his power to heal the soldiers, Cassandra and Cullen, the commander of the soldiers, were the first on their feet, the ex-Templar swept his arms out and released a burst of pseudo-magic, purging the electricity from his comrades.
"Stand back, this is gonna be bright." Said the Pirate, getting a curious gaze from the elf, ceasing the sapping of power Menma pulled all the power back into himself before releasing it into a duet of emerald beams of chaotic death that ripped the Pride demon apart, shaking himself of the lightheadedness that followed the Black Prince leapt over the balcony and onto 'ground zero' running forward towards the Breach he roared, releasing a burst of green magic that ate into the demons around him, before skidding to a halt and thrusting his arms up.
"Close you giant fuck!" Menma ordered, gritting his teeth as all the magic he'd sucked up was being pulled out of him and being used to seal the rift that spat out the demon, as it was probably the biggest rift he'd seen thus far, it didn't go to well.
Well it did and it didn't.
For everyone else, they saw a giant salvo of green shoot into the sky and stifle the breach from growing, sufficiently stilling it and placing a very thin barrier around it, for the layman it was sealed. For those who were more expereienced with bullshit magic, it was weakened.
For Menma it meant blacking the fuck out.
Three Days Later
Oh sweet comforting dark, this bed was amazing. Fuck everything else right now, he was thoroughly enjoying his rest. The cool air was perfect for wrapping up in the covers, sinking into the bed further he positioned the pillow so he could both hug it and rest his head on it. While he did enjoy the occasional dalliance, he preferred sleeping on his own.
A soft caw drew his attention, cracking open a single golden eye he was given sight to a crow sitting happily on his new bedside table, it then began nibbling at his hair, attempting to rouse him. "Karasu... you always did know how to find me. Strange little bird that you are." The Pirate said fondly, reaching out with a finger to stroke the creatures breast, it ruffled at the touch and hopped onto his finger, then hopped all the way down his arm and nestled into the crook of his neck, fluffed out to gather as much warmth as possible.
The sound of soft footsteps drifted into his ears, Menma cracked open an eye to see an elven woman, a little squirrely but still not bad. Short brown-red hair, wearing mostly red with a brown leather vest and darker leather pants, rather nondescript boots.
"Is it time to get up?" Asked the Pirate with a yawn, the crow cawing and hopping down to the foot of the bed, he did love how the little creature hopped in place of flying most of the time. It was just goofy enough to be cute.
The woman began rambling about how he was some 'Herald' and she needed to inform Cassandra, Menma shook his head and got out of the bed, only to notice his clothes were different, "Who the fuck dressed me?..." His eyes widened when he pat around his waist, "Who changed my underwear?" The crow cawed at him in what sounded like a laugh, Menma frowned at the creature and looked at the chest across from him, popping it open it revealed his old clothes, all pristine and in tip-top condition.
"Now I'm confused, but also I don't care. Getting this trashy ponce stuff off me." Stripping down to his skivvies and pulling on a white dress shirt, slipping on his dark leather, fur collared coat, he adjusted it and sighed contently, unlike most plebs he sported a fabulous hat with several dark coloured feathers, mostly from Karasu, stuck into the side. Black cloth trousers and his black cuffed boots finished off his attire, the only thing left was a dusky grey sash to hold up his pants, and last but not least he plucked his gloves out of the chest be slipped them into his belt.
Adjusting his hat the Pirate nodded to himself, slipping on a bandoleer, accessories made the outfit kiddies, that and they were filled with poisonous flasks...
No one expected it when they got an acid flask to the face.
Holding a hand out the flapping of wings entered his ears, Karasu perching on his shoulder as he opened the door and was beset by the grateful applause of dozens, Menma blinked shouts of gratitude washed over him, a path was opened in the crowd, Menma took the que and began walking through the crowd, receiving claps on the back and people continued to sing his praises as he made his way up the chapel, oh lovely.
He like the buildings, they were usually beautiful if you ignored all the bullshit they stood for. Though his eyes did rise skyward and he spotted the Breach, it was a great deal calmer than before, it looked even prettier than before.
Haven Chantry, Interior
Walking up to the door he hear voices, that failed abortion of a cleric and Cassandra. Apparently the Seeker was endeared to him somewhat as she was adamantly defending him, with a shrug he opened the door and stepped in, the Nevarran was surprised to see his clothing more than him, Leliana gave him a once over and had a small hum of approval leave her, unbidden from the look on her face when he caught her stare with a grin.
"Chain him! He will be transported to Val Royeux immediately." Ordered Roderick of the two Templars flanking the door, they exchanged looks and the Pirate smiled.
"I love your armour, but I gotta ask, wouldn't you be able to move better if you added some splits to the robes?" Asked Menma, the two looked over his shoulder at one another and then at themselves, "Good idea, am I right or am I right?"
"Aye a sound plan, we'll head off to the smith and see what he can do, are we to leave, Seeker Pentagast?" Asked Templar 1, Cassandra nodded and waved them off, "Have a good day, Herald." The two saluted before leaving.
"Well those a pair of charming young chaps, so what can I do for you Cassy-dear?" Asked Menma ignoring the red faced dickhead in the room. Cassandra was caught between smirking and grimacing.
"You walk a dangerous line, Seeker." Snarled the Chancellor, Menma shot the man a look but remained silent, Cassandra met the cloth clad man with equal venom.
"The Breach is stable, but still a threat. I do not intend to ignore that." Cassandra shot a glance to her side and idly glanced at the pulsing green markings on Menma's hands, he'd forgone is gloves for the moment, he usually only wore them when he was steering the ship, or holding his weapon.
A shame that the little box didn't have his beautiful trident. How he missed his dear little Neptune. His own fault for leaving it on the ship. "How long was I asleep, stifling that great green mess was quite painful."
"And yet you survived it, rather convenient in your case." Roderick said with a narrow gaze.
"Of course it your simpering little wad of darkspawn spunk! If the fucking Breach is still around and I can close it, yes it's very good I'm still alive. Use your fucking head for more than sucking the taint of every superior you have! By the fucking abyss I swear you keep this up and I will tie you to my ship and ram a Quinari Juggernaught just to make a point!" Roared the Pirate, the man went dreadfully pale, it didn't help any that the Prince of the Sea's had grabbed him by the throat and was shaking him like a ragdoll.
Both the women in the room blinked at the switch-flip from calm and amused to bloodthirsty and enraged, "I've had it up to fucking here with you arrogant little fucksticks posturing and demanding respect when you've done nothing to deserve it, so how about you scurry the fuck away while the important people discuss the important things at hand!" Menma dragged the cleric out the door and tossed him onto the floor before slamming it shut with a kick.
With a quick 180 on his mood Menma turned around and gestured for Cassandra to continue, she blinked before shaking her head and slamming a big ol' book on the desk, it was quite pretty looking, very archaic.
"This is writ from the Divine, giving us the authority to act, as of now I declare the Inquisition reborn. We will find those responsible, close the Breach. And set the world straight once more." Said Cassandra, she turned to the Pirate who had a chesire grin on his face, "Many have called you the Herald of Andraste, as when you appeared there was a woman behind you, as though watching over you." She informed, Menma's face fell into a frown.
"You sound like the Elder's of my clan..." He grumbled, getting attention once more, "There are those in my clan who believe we are of Andraste's bloodline, that she is our great Matriarch. It's been a constant pain in the ass, because whilst we have books about this, corroborating evidence... I just don't put much stock into that which I cannot perceive myself." He was a skeptic, disolve a phallus within your stomach acid if that rustled your jimmies.
Both of the women looked at him like he was oozing heresy, "That's what the elders believe. Don't give me that look, you wanna start an Inquisition, who's gonna run it?" Asked the man, getting everything back on track. Though they kept the looks they did gain a slightly thoughtful expression. "You haven't decided on a Head Inquisitor?" Asked Menma with more curiosity than disdain like some would expect.
"I'm sorry but my mind is a little stuck on the particular point of information." Said Leliana, with a shake of the head, "Your family thinks they're descended of Andraste?"
"Mhm, the Elders think that the magic in our blood is because of Andraste, when she was born in Denerim, which was apparently just a fishing village at the time, she and the Patriarch of our Clan, Menma the First, held a night of passion. This was far before she was supposed to have any grand part to play in whatever your Chantry teaches mind you, anyway The First sired a daughter with her, but as she was supposed to be wed to the Chief or whatever of her tribe/clan/family-thing she had to give the daughter to him, when the First left the village he did so with the idea of starting a home for his daughter away from all the strife the mainland would cause for him and her. So he set up on a chain of islands, the location of which I'd kill you before telling you, and slowly but surely created the Uzumaki Clan from the remnants of his already decayed dynasty. Long story short, he founded a clan and all the girls up until me were the magically gifted ones and since I'm the first male-born child of magic within the clan they think I'm supposed to be some sign from the 'Great Matriarch' that she will be returning soon or something like that, returning for her lost children." After that long spiel he took a deep breath and sighed contently, that was quite the mouthful.
"I... you..." Cassandra gave up quite quickly, Menma appreciated this. Whilst he never put much stock into the shit the elders came out with it was with smug pride that he was the only man in the family that could use magic. "But Andraste condemned the tyranny of magic how could your family draw this power from her?!" She finally managed to collect herself apparently.
"Look we can discuss this later, it's really not that important to the moment. For me anyway, so who's going to be the head-honcho, because if you two don't wanna I'll do it." He offered getting raised eyes in response, "I lead a fleet of ships daily, and contrary to popular belief, we don't have any trouble fighting on land. I pull my fleet in, unfortunately damaging my presence on the seas but it'll be fun to reclaim it again, then we have a lot more manpower and thus can do more. Sooo who's gonna be the Inquisitor if not one of us? I have experience, the Mark, and the soldiers. Cassandra did you want to lead?"
"I do not, it is not a role I could fill or would fill. I am... less than comfortable with such a burden of leadership." Admitted Cassandra, both looked to Leliana who gave them a blank look before gesturing to herself.
"Spymaster, right." Said Menma, getting a caw of accent from his little feathered companion.
"Do we have others? That Cullen fellow? Would he be willing?"
"Cullen would portray us as renegade Templars, he could not lead." Informed Cassandra, Menma held his arms out and smiled.
"Wonderful, so how about it, Black Prince Menma, the Inquisitor. I'd need to change my outfit." Menma tapped his chin in thought.
"We will discuss this at a later date, your willingness will be noted." Said Cassandra, "I'll admit I would have thought getting the 'Black Prince of Pirates' to join a religious military group." The smirk on her lips was telling.
"I'm full of hot blood and will always want the seas beneath me, but I'm not stupid, Cassandra. That Breach is a danger, and I'll sort out the problem before me, as opposed to my on wants and needs. Now let's get this show on the road." He said offering his hand, Cassandra shook her head in amusement and took it
And so, the Inquisition was founded. Stupid plebs thought I was a bloody 'Herald' of Andraste, it seems I'll never escape that woman for as long as I live.
Such is the fate of the Second.
End
Hope you liked it.
Raxychaz!