I wish I could say I'm sorry for this but I'm really not so uhhh

also there's children just cursing wildly in this. AKA teenagers cussing like normal IRL High schoolers.

also Henry x Ray shippers stay away from my christian story. Yall are nasty.

Viva La On With the Story

Okay yeah no, he definitely fucked up.

He just needed to piss. That was all. In the six minutes it took for him to empty his bladder his life took a right turn onto the highway to Hell.

He used to keep his gum balls in his pocket, on his person at all times during school the first year. But like—that thing was nine inches long, and difficult to keep in his pockets all the time. So he just kinda shifted it to the little front pocket in his backpack in the three years he had been Kid Danger.

Thankfully the fabric was thick enough to conceal the glowing of the gum—as in you could only see it if the lights were off and you knew they were there.

And somehow Oliver managed to know they were there.

And didn't fucking know that they weren't fucking regular.

So apparently while Henry was pissing, he dug through his bag, found the gum, and popped one in his mouth without anyone noticing.

Because the world just fucking hates Henry apparently.

You know, that might have been fine as well, if Oliver hadn't blown a bubble. He could have realized and made him spit it out with at least some dignity and his secret in tact.

But fucking no. Because of course Schwoz with his futuristic technology had to make them round like regular fucking Gumballs.

So of course Oliver blew one.

And of fucking course the gumballs worked exactly like they were supposed to goddamnit Schwoz.

So Henry walked back into class with an empty bladder thinking all was amazing with the world and he would just have to sit through the rest of the math lesson.

Only to be met with Oliver in his fucking suit.

"Oh, fuck."

It slipped from his lips before he even realized it, causing everyone to slowly turn towards him.

Wide eyes. All around. Everyone was frozen in their seats. Amazement, horror, excitement, realization—all of those shone in the eyes of his classmates and he hated it.

He couldn't stop from looking over to Charlotte and Jasper. Pleading orbs gazing into their scared ones. He couldn't move. He was frozen in the doorway.

His fingers, numb as a result of the coal of anxiety that had dropped into his gut, fell off the door handle, causing it to close quietly behind him.

Should he run? No—no that wasn't professional. Stay? He really didn't want to. He continued to send a pleading look at his friends. They could only shrug in helplessness.

He instead shifted his gaze over to Oliver, who was frozen in a way that made him look like a predator was eyeing him. Maybe he actually thought that, too.

He was in a position that made him look like he was afraid to move—as if he was afraid the suit would kill him if he moved another millimeter.

Henry stayed frozen for another minute. He could practically hear Ray cocking the memory gun in his mind. Cocking the gun while scowling at him.

Maybe he wouldn't be that mad? After all, it was Oliver's fault this time not his…

"God fucking damnit, Oliver. You nosy son of a bitch." Henry practically growled, voice cracking a bit.

Ms. Shapen finally spoke up, being the second person in about two minutes to speak besides Henry. "Henry, watch your language."

The sixteen year old giggled nervously despite himself. What else could he do? "Considering the circumstances I think it's just slightly tolerable." He mumbled.

More silence. More staring. Henry pushed back the urge to throw Oliver across the room and dissolve into a panic attack.

"H-how about we just—we just continue the lesson?" He covered another voice crack with a cough. "Forget this all happened?"

He knew that was unrealistic. He knew he had to call Ray. Someone had to call him. This was a three-beep situation.

"Uh, how about instead we ask like, a million questions?" Said some kid he barely even talked to. Okay. Henry was taking them out right after Oliver.

That triggered a response in the class, and everyone was suddenly pulling out their phones.

Oh fuck no.

Henry used his Hyper Motility out of instinct. He grabbed his laser from his belt on Oliver, and fired it at every phone he could see.

Except for Jasper and Charlotte's, of course.

He then fired at the WiFi device on the ceiling for good measure. Swellview was out in the middle of Wyoming. Cell service sucked and most people relied on WiFi to get anything done.

"No one leaves this room." He said, pointing the laser at Ms. Shapen, who went bug-eyed in fear.

Henry realized how it looked, and lowered the weapon.

He nodded to Jasper and Charlotte, who immediately got up and locked the two doors.

Henry fiddled with his watch as they did so, keeping an eye on the classroom. He felt like he was holding hostages. And he was...kind of glad. In some sick, twisted way. His secret was on the brink of getting out and this was the only solution he could think of.

They were terrified of him, as if he were nonhuman. Technically he...wasn't. So why should he act like one? God, if this is the feeling criminals feel when they do this kind of stuff, he's glad that he fights them.

He looked around at the petrified class, looking at him as if waiting for directions.

"I need to call my boss. Nothing personal. I just...yeah."

He didn't know why he was telling them this. Why he felt like he needed to justify himself, he didn't know. He had done nothing wrong, it was all Oliver's fault.

All his fucking fault.

He took a shaky breath, bracing himself for what Ray would do, before pressing the call button on his watch.

The first time he called, Ray didn't pick up. He almost didn't have the balls to dial a second time. But he forced himself to anyway.

He clenched his jaw and pressed the button again.

What am I doing with my life

Is this an angst fic? Is it a crack fic? How am I supposed to know. I just needed to add SOME logic to it.