Never Wanted To Leave.
Chp.1- The Heart Tree
From a young age, Lyarra Stark knew that all people must walk a certain path in life. As a girl, she once believed that like her elder sister Branda, so wild and wolf-like, she would walk amongst the ranks of men as their equal. As a young girl, Lyarra also learned, after seeing her sister rejected and scorned for attempting to follow in the footsteps of those along the path of brave knights and noble lords, that the path one desired was not always the one that they were meant to walk. Especially when you were a women. This never became clearer than when she seen her once brave and wild sister reduced to a shadow of her former self, her life wasted in a marriage with a man she did not love and giving birth to children she could not bear to be near, for the path she now walked was one of lost dreams and squandered hope.
And so, Lyarra Stark took this lesson and locked it deep in her heart. She promised herself, that to avoid the sorrow that struck down her sister she would never stray from the path laid before her, for all that lay beyond could only lead to despair. When her father announced that the time had come for him to arrange her own betrothal, Lyarra accepted it with grace. She believed that the Gods had awarded her for her acceptance when her father revealed that she would be wed to her cousin, Rickard Stark. Unlike Branda, she had accepted fate and had been awarded for it. She and her husband loved one another and their union was prosperous. She had given him four hale and hearty babes. Wild Brandon was her dear Branda born again, full of wolfs blood, but this time in the right body. Quiet little Eddard, always so serious yet she knew his heart was kind. Rambunctious Lyanna, one of her greatest loves and at the same time her greatest worry, for like Brandon she too had the wolfs blood running in her veins.
A feather light touch broke her reverie, as her eyes met that of her third born, Alys. The girl looked at her, her young face devoid of any of the traditional Stark features that her other siblings possessed. Instead, it was a face much like her own meeting her gaze. Eyes blue like the winter roses her Rickard would gift her, and her hair was the same colour as her own mahogany tresses. The only time Lyarra could see any Stark in the young girls features was when she frowned, for her face took on the same concerned gaze that she had seen overtake her Rickards on numerous occasions. It was only when she seen this aforementioned frown overtake her daughters features that she realised that the young girl had been speaking to her.
"Mother, is everything alright? Maester Walys said you wanted to speak to me" the young girl said softly.
So she did. Lyarra let a small smile grow on her face as she struggled to rise from her seated position on a stump by the Godswood, her heavily pregnant form hindering her every move.
It was when she finally got to her feet that a wave of weakness overtook her. She leaned heavily upon her young daughter, whose frown gave way to a look of panic.
"Mother! Are you feeling ill again? Do you need me to get Maester Walys? I'll-" Lyarra interrupted her fearful rambling.
"My Love, it's alright, carrying a babe is a tiring process, that is all. There is no need to worry" The lie tasted bitter on her tongue, and one look at Alys' face told her that her daughter didn't believe her words either.
Memories from not so long ago flashed in her mind, Alys' face, looking younger and more frightened. Tears streaming down her small face as she took in the sight of her mother, who was close to death after the birth of Lyanna. Lyarra had barely survived her last dance with mortality. Her hand protectectively cradled her large bump. She was not so foolish as to believe that she would escape its cold hands this time. If her growing weakness and constant baragement of illness was anything to go by, she would not be able to outrun them for much longer.
She had accepted to walk this path, knowing its perils. And if hers was to end in her birthing bed, then so be it. Her only wish was that her babe would live.
Alys, seeing her mother's gaze darken, gently reached for her hand and took it in hers. "Mother, you wanted to talk to me about something? We can go to the solar where its warmer, I don't want you to get sick again." She tugged on her mother's hand, attempting to lead her back towards the keep. But Lyarra resisted.
"Yes, I did my Love. But I would much rather do so here" Alys' brow furrowed at her mother's words.
"But it's so cold, why do we need to stay here?" the confusion was evident in the little girl's voice.
Lyarra stepped away from her daughter and towards the heart tree, placing her hand on its trunk. Turning back to her child, she spoke "Because I want you to promise me something, right here before the Old Gods"
Her mother's words, and the serious turn that the conversations tone had taken alarmed Alys. She hesitated, before finally asking "What do you need me to promise mother?"
A feeling of sorrow twisted in Lyarra's and her throat went dry, thinking of the weight of the promise that she was about to ask of her sweet young girl. She swallowed and began to speak.
"Alys, do you remember the stories that Old Nan told you about the Old Gods, about how they have paved the path that we are intended to walk in our lives before our lives have ever begun?"
"Yes? Old Nan said that anyone who tried to fight them usually lost. Badly." If Alys had been confused before, then she was truly lost now. Her words sounded unsure as she continued. "They have a plan, and we all have a part to play in it. When were turn away from the path they've laid, we are betraying their love for us. Or at least Old Nan said something like that."
Lyarra nodded and gestured for her daughter to come closer. When she did, Lyarra cupped her little girls face and looked into her eyes. Not breaking eye contact she spoke " I want you to remember that when you make this promise to me Alys. Promise me that you will follow the path that is laid for you Alys, that you will ensure your brothers and sister do the same." Lyarra felt her eyes water, and took a moment to collect herself before speaking again.
"I'm so sorry my love, but I will not always be there to guide you and your siblings. But I must know that there will be someone to protect them, even it is from themselves. Promise me Alys, that if something happens, and I am no longer here, that you will be that person and keep them on their rightful paths" Her voice cracked as she spoke the last sentence.
It was all too much for the little girl, she grasped her mother's cloak and held on tightly, as if she was afraid she would disappear before her eyes. The implication of her mother's words only confirmed the fears she had grown ever since she had overheard Maester Walys and his apprentice Luwin discussing her mother's declining health. Her mother was going to leave her. Tears began pricking her eyes and her voice shook as she spoke, her despair evident.
"B-but how mother? Why me? How can I protect them or guide them on any paths? I don't know h-how to!" The little girl wasn't trying to calm herself now, the tears fell freely down her face and her words were interrupted by sobs.
Guilt wracked Lyarra's heart. Yes, why Alys? Why not Brandon, older and stronger. Or even Eddard, who had a wiseness beyond his seven years. How could she even expect her young daughter to understand the meaning of what it was that she was asking of her? Lyarra supposed it was because she seen herself in the little girl, and knew that the gentle child was probably the best suited of her children to fill the gap she would leave. Her little Alys, who even as a babe never cried out for want of anything. Always quiet and resilient, who she hoped would be able to guide her siblings through the grief that her imminent passing would leave in her wake. Yes she was young, but time was a wise teacher. Her understanding of her mother's request would become clearer as she grew, and even so, Lyarra's time was running short and she had little other choice than to pass this responsibility onto her first born daughter.
Taking the weeping girl into her arms, Lyarra stroked her hair in an attempt to comfort her. She spoke soothingly "My Love, what are our houses words?"
The reply Alys gave her was muffled, as she had buried herself deep within her mother's fur cloak. "Winter is coming, Mother"
A strange sense of urgency washed over her and Lyarra pulled her daughter back to look at her " I need you to promise me Alys, that you will watch out for your brothers, and please look after Lyanna. Promise me, when the baby comes, that you will give them all the love that I would give them, that I have given to all of you. Winter is coming my Love, there is no escaping that. So please Alys, promise me this with the old gods as our witness"
The little girl met her eyes, and despite the obvious doubt and blatant fear in her face, she nodded. "I promise mother."
Lyarra smiled sadly, her sense of urgency replaced by sad sense of relief. She cupped her child's face, brushing away the river of tears that fell down her sweet face. "Thank you my Love, you don't understand how much this means"
But Alys was not satisfied, her mind had come alive with questions that only her mother could answer, but just as she opened her mouth to question her mother's actions and request further, they were interrupted by the clear voice of her brother cutting through the tense silence of the godswood.
"Mother? Alys? Is everything alright?" Neds voice was laced with worry, his steely grey eyes confused. And it was then that Alys could only imagine the scene he had happened upon. His mother and sister holding on to each other for dear life, with both of their faces painted with tears and matching expressions of grief.
It was Lyarra who regained composure first, easily brushing away her tears and disguising her previously sorrowful expression with an easy smile as she addressed her son.
"Yes Ned of course, your sister had a fall and It gave me a bit of a fright is all. Was there something you needed sweetling?"
For the second time that day, one of Lyarra's children eyed her with doubt. His eyes bounced back to his younger sister, who was struggling to wipe away freshly fallen tears. He looked back towards his mother. "Father is looking for you mother, we didn't know where you or Alys had gone.."
She disentangled herself from her daughter, grasping her little hand in hers as she guided her away from the heart tree.
" Well you've found us Ned. Worry not, we had simply come to pray and Alys' little stumble delayed us, Now, shall we head back? I reckon that supper shall be served soon, and I for one would like to wash up before hand!" Lyarra's tone was deceptively light, and Alys was left somewhat amazed at the sudden change,a dn even began wondering if she truly had fallen and the previous exchange had all been but a figment of her imagination.
Ned looked as if he wanted to object, a hundred questions evident in his dubious expression. But instead, he took his mother's outreached hand and gave her a smile that didn't quite meet his eyes. "Alright mother, but should we take Alys to Maester Walys first? She could of hurt herself."
This time, to both Ned and Lyarra's surprise, it was Alys small voice that answered him this time.
"It's fine Ned, I'm fine Ned, but let's listen to mother and head back. My toes are freezing."
Ned looked down at his sister and gave a huff of a laugh. With that he turned and began to lead his mother and sister back in the direction of his home. Before following her mother and brother back, Alys stopped and gazed back at the heart tree. It was as if its carved face stared right back at her with a knowing look. It would not forget her promise either. The girl shivered at the thought and quickly ran to up with her mother, who watched her with what she could only described as guilty eyes.
A/N: The characters of the 'Song of Ice and Fire' series and 'Game of Thrones' T.V. show rightfully belong to George R.R. Martin, I just really enjoy his work and was feeling inspired.