Disclaimer: Castle and all of its characters belong to Andrew W. Marlowe, Terri Edda Miller, and ABC Studio Productions. "If I Ever Leave This World Alive" belongs to Flogging Molly.
So, this is just something that I thought up last night when I was half asleep that I thought was kind of a cute idea.
If I ever leave this world alive,
I'll thank you for the things you did in my life.
If I ever leave this world alive,
I'll come back down and sit beside your feet tonight.
Wherever I am, you'll always be more than just a memory.
If I ever leave this world alive.
If I ever leave this world alive,
"Riley, what did I tell you about climbing on the outside of the ballpit?!" Lanie bellowed, leveling a glare at the small boy that was hanging from the loose netting around the pit filled with colorful plastic balls. The boy cringed under her gaze and lowered himself to the ground before climbing into the pit, which Castle had rented for the birthday party, with the three other chlidren. "I swear, that boy is going to be the death of me."
"Oh, come on, Lanie, he can't be that bad." Castle chuckled, leaning back and pulling Kate against his side with an arm around her shoulders. Kate rested her head on his shoulder and smirked at her best friend. Her father looked at the group of them with a concerned waryness. She chuckled to herself as she watched him. Her father had never been one to indulge in conversations like that.
"You have no idea, Writer Boy. He got his father's attention span and energy." She shook her head and glanced to where her husband, Max was burrowing himself through the ballpit alongside their son. She watched them for a moment before chuckling as she lifted the glass of red wine to her lips and took a sip.
"Yeah, we lucked out with the twins. They're pretty mellow for the most part." Kate replied with a laugh. "They must have gotten that from me instead of Rick."
"Hey, now!" Castle gave her a half-assed glare before dropping a kiss to the side of her head.
"Come on, Dad. You know that you have the attention span of a goldfish on a good day." Alexis chuckled and took a drink of the appletini in her hand. Rick still couldn't believe that his little girl was old enough to be drinking with them.
"She is right, dear. When you were the boys' age, I couldn't get you to sit still for the life of me. You were constantly running around backstage and causing mayhem." Martha added, wagging her finger at him.
"Daniel and Dane aren't always little angels, you know." He tilted his head and looked at Kate, matter-of-factly. As if on cue, a blue plastic ball soared through the air at them and connected with the side of Rick's head. His head snapped to where the twin boys were giggling inside the ball pit. "Oh, that's it!" He called, jumping from his spot and sprinting to dive into the ball pit with a loud cry.
Kevin and Javier walked through the back door of the spacious house at the same moment, both of their faces twisted with confusion. They glanced to where Kate, Martha, Alexis, and Lanie were laughing at the spectical in front of them.
"Uh, what the hell?" Kevin asked, setting the six pack of beer in his hand on the table and taking a seat next to Javier on the loveseat.
"Daniel and Dane threw a ball at Rick, so I'm pretty sure he retaliating, Max and Riley are playing hide and seek under the balls, and it looks like Roy is teaming up with the twins against Rick." Kate gasped as she struggled to regain her breath. The two men glanced over and found a tenacious toddler sprinting across the yard towards them, and Kevin practically skipped across the yard to meet him. He pulled the boy into his arms and spun him in a circle.
"Daddy!" He screeched, patting his hands on Kevin's face happily. Kevin smiled down at the boy that stared up at him through arctic blue eyes. A mop of mocha colored hair flopped over his forehead, brushing just above his eyebrows.
"Hey, monkey. Did you have a good time with Uncle Rick, Auntie Kate, and Auntie Lanie?" The boy nodded emphatically before squirming out of Kevin's arms and sprinting over to Javier. He scrambled onto Esposito's lap and threw his arms around his neck, pulling him into a tight hug.
"Hi, Papa." He smiled, kissing Javier's cheek softly.
"Hey, mijo. Were you a good boy?" He asked, giving the boy a soft nudge on the bottom of his chin. Roy confirmed with a short nod, his face serious. "That's good. Now go play, buddy, we're gonna sit over here." Roy smiled and sprinted back across the yard, stumbling and nearly tripping on the grass, but he regained his balance and continued to the pit. Kevin settled back onto the loveseat next to Javier, their thighs brushing lightly.
The partners had come out to their closest friends nearly six years before. It was two years into their relationship when they decided that they wanted to have a child, and Kate had been more than happy to be their surrogate. Eleven months after the process started, Roy Grayson Esposito-Ryan was born. It was hard to hard their relationship from the rest of the precinct when Beckett got pregnant with their son, but even Gates had congratulated them (not before she reprimanded them for starting an inter-precinct relationship). She had even agreed to let them continue to work as partners, as long as they remained professional when they were on the clock.
"Can you believe it's been ten years?" Kate mused, sipping the red wine on the table in front of her.
"Girl, I'm still trying to grasp why it took you and Writer Boy four years to hook up. I haven't even begun to grasp the fact that you have twins that are ten years old. One step at a time." Lanie replied, giving Kate an unamused glare. She squirmed under the scrutiny for a moment before she heard Riley's voice calling to Lanie from across the yard. Lanie pointed a finger at Kate wordlessly before she set her own glass on the table before walking towards the ballpit.
"Thank God for small miracles, huh?" Kevin chuckled, twisting the top off of one of the beers that they'd brought.
"Seriously. I think that she chose the wrong profession. She'd be better in an interrogation room then any of us would..." She shook her head and glanced over to watch her husband 'drowning' in the sea of plastic orbs, his hand the only part visible as he made gurgling noises.
"How're you doing, Kate?" Esposito questioned, his dark eyes warm and concerned. Kate cringed inwardly. This time of year was always hard for her, but it had gotten easier to get through the anniversary of her mother's death since she'd met Rick.
"I'm doing alright, Javi, thank you. Keeping busy helps, and so does seeing all of you. I miss seeing you guys." She frowned. When she'd gotten pregnant, they had decided to move to a more country-like house in New Jersey. It was a little more than an hour or so away, so the get togethers that the group usually had were growing further and further apart. She set her drink down and crossed over to where Javier and Kevin were sitting and squeezed herself in between the two of them, wrapping her arms around their shoulders. "I love you two." She muttered into the creases of Javier's shirt where her head was pillowed.
"We love you, too." They replied in unison. She sighed and let a smile grace her features as she watched her family. She really was lucky.
I'll take back all the sadness that I left behind.
If I ever leave this world alive,
The madness that you feel will soon subside.
"Katie, I promise you that you'll know when you've found the person that you're going to spend the rest of your life with. I knew the moment that I met your father that I was going to marry that man one day." Johanna mused as she took a sip of the steaming coffee mug in her hand. Kate stared at her, a confused expression on her face. "Trust me, baby. You're only seventeen years old, you're going to have the rest of your life to find the man of your dreams, one bad relationship isn't the end of the world."
"I know, mom, but I just...I thought that Keith was the one." Kate replied with a short sob that was more remniscent of a hiccup than any form of crying. Johanna wrapped her arms around her daughter's shoulders and tugged her to his chest.
"You will think that every boy you date is the one, Katie, but when you meet the one that you are meant to spend the rest of your life with, none of those break ups will ever cross your mind again." Kate sighed and took a sip of her own coffee, nodding thoughtfully.
"I just want to find someone that I can have my own family with. You and Dad are so happy, and I just want to find that for myself."
"Sweetie, family isn't about genetics or anything like that. Family is about people that love you unconditionally, reguardless of the mistakes that you have made. You can find them anywhere, and usually when you least expect it."
"I love you, Mom." She whispered, a smile on her face. Johanna leaned forward and kissed her forehead softly.
"Oh, I love you too, Babygirl. And I always will."
So, in a word don't shed a tear,
I'll be here when it all gets weird,
If I ever leave this world alive.
Kate looked around the party at the people that had shown up to celebrate her children's birthday. These were the people that had been there for her when she fell down into the rabbit hole. They'd had her back through more completely ridiculous cases, close calls, and more than one drunken Christmas party at the precinct.
This was her family. This ragtag band of goofy, quirky people. She smirked as she watched Rick running in circles around the ballpit with Max, the two men running from the army of children chasing them, armed with plastic ammo. He made a break away from the children and sprinted towards them.
"Kaaaaate!" He bellowed, diving behind her chair and peeking around her shoulder. "Save me." He whispered, glancing at her with large, pleading eyes.
"Oh, no, Ricky. You're on your own." She chuckled, running her fingers through his hair.
"Attack!" Dane yelled and the children piled onto Rick in a heap of flailing limbs. When he finally was able to pry himself out from underneath the pile, his hair was disheveled and his thread-bare v-neck t-shirt was hanging off of one shoulder. He staggered to the chair beside Kate and recomposed himself before holding his hands over his head.
"I surrender, I surrender!" He called, laughing breathlessly. The children all cheered and high fived one another.
"Okay, everyone, we need to get a new picture of all of us to put up!" Kate called, standing to arrange all of the chairs. She moved the people into their respective positions and assisted Rick with setting up the timer on the digital camera.
She glanced at her family with a content smile on her face. Lanie was smoothing down Max and Riley's hair with a disapproving scowl on her face as she picked pieces of leaves out of their dark, chestnut locks. Her father, Martha and Alexis were wrangling Dane and Daniel long enough for them to take a picture. Then there was Javier and Kevin, who were holding Roy on their laps and smiling at each other happily.
"You ready?" Rick asked her gently, shaking her from her reverie and bringing a smile to her face.
"Always." She replied, leaning up on her tiptoes to kiss him softly. She set the timer and they both hustled over to the chairs and settled into a comfortable position. Rick wrapped his arm around Kate's waist and pulled her close to his chest. "Everyone say 'cheese'!" She called, and was answered by a chorus of 'cheese' and giggles.
The flash illuminated them, and Kate got up to look at the photograph. She couldn't help the tears that welled in her eyes as she looked at the group of the, so happy, even after everything that they'd all been through.
"What's wrong, mommy?" Daniel asked, his brow furrowed just like Rick's did when he was concernde.
"Nothing sweetie. I just love you so much. All of you." She said, looking at all of them. Her family. Her everything. "Now, what do you guys say we cut that birthday cake?"
She says "I'm okay. I'm alright,
Though you have gone from my life.
You said that it would, now everything should
Be alright."
Kate shifted the photograph until she finally squared it on the mantle. She smiled at the photograph fondly. It had been the third best moment of her life (only after her wedding to Rick and the day the twins were born). It was the magic of a memory captured in a moment to last them a lifetime.
Rick's arms wrapped around her waist tightly as he settled his chin onto her shoulder and kissed her neck softly. She sighed happily and leaned back into his, placing her hands over his where they rested on her stomach.
"Everything okay, baby?" He whispered, his lips moving against her ear.
"Everything is perfect." She smiled. "You know, my mom told me once that I would find my family where I least expected it and that it wasn't about genetics or blood that made us family." She gestured to the photograph. "This is our family, Rick."
"I love our family. And I love you. Always." He replied with a smile against her skin.
"I love you too, Rick." She turned in his embrace and wrapped her arms around his neck. "You know, my mother was right."
"Oh? What about?"
"She said that I would know when I met the man that I was going to marry. I knew the night that I brought you into the precinct that I was going to spend the rest of my life with you, come hell or obnoxious book character." He gave her a half-hearted pout before pulling her into a deep kiss. When she laced her fingers through his hair and pulled him closer to her, she could have sworn that she heard her mother's voice echoing in her head with a self-assured 'I told you so, Katie-bear'.
She may not have her mother in her life every day to help her through life's toils and troubles, but she had her family. And she knew that everything was going to be alright as long as they had each other. Always.
She says "I'm okay. I'm alright,
Though you have gone from my life.
You said that it would, now everything should
Be alright."
Thoughts? Drop me a review and let me know.
Much love,
J. Rook