DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter or any other characters. It's sad I know but hey what can I do?
Author Notes: Thanks to gothgurl666 who was kind enough to beta this for me.
Harry watched as Sirius ducked Bellatrix's jet of red light: He was laughing at her. Harry heard Sirius call to her "Come on, you can do better then that!" His voice echoed around the cavernous room.
Harry saw the second jet of light hit Sirius squarely on the chest. Harry saw that the laughter had not quite died from his godfathers face, but that his eyes had widened in shock. Harry watched himself release Neville, and jump down the steps again, pulling out his wand, and saw that Dumbledore had turned to the dais too
It seemed as if time stood still as Harry watched Sirius's body curve in a graceful arc as his godfather sank backward through the ragged veil hanging from the arch.
Harry saw the look of mingled fear and surprise on his godfather's wasted once-handsome face as he fell through the ancient doorway and disappeared behind the veil, which once again fluttered for a moment then settled back into place.
"Sirius!" Harry screamed waking up in a cold sweat. Harry looked around him and saw that he was not in the cavernous room in the Department of Mysteries. He had fallen asleep with his head on his desk in his room at the Dursleys.
Harry quickly glanced at his door to see if the Dursleys had heard him. After what seemed like forever with no movement or sound Harry assumed they hadn't heard him.
"They wouldn't care anyway." Harry thought angrily. Sirius' death had been plaguing his thoughts ever since it had happened. Harry had had this nightmare billions of times before and every time he'd wake up screaming in a cold sweat.
Everyday he thought about his godfather. He would read something or hear something on the televisionthat would remind him of his godfather.
It seemed unfair to Harry that the world just moved on while he was slowly dying inside. His friends didn't seem to care that Harry was being destroyed internally.
"They didn't like Sirius. They never cared for him or me," Harry thought
No one understood what it was like to loose someone they loved. Hermione could only go by what she'd read in books and such. She still had all her family. As for Ron as bad as his financial situation was he still had all his family (with maybe the exception of Percy but at least he was still alive). Harry, however, had lost his family and the closest thing to a father he'd ever had. The only one who had ever cared about him.
Harry's thoughts then turned to Dumbledore. "Dumbledore doesn't care about me either even though he pretends to only have my best interest at heart."He thought. His thought turned to how Dumbledore told him that it was actually his fault not Harry's that Sirius was dead.
Instead of making Harry feel better however this made Harry incredibly angry. Sure Harry felt that maybe if Dumbledore had told him all the things in the beginning that it would have helped, but even so Harry felt that deep down it was his fault. If only he hadn't gone to the Department of Mysteries maybe Sirius wouldn't be dead.
This more than anything made Harry the angriest. He wanted so badly to be able to blame Dumbledore, Hermione, Ron, hell even Kreacher for Sirius' death but deep down he knew it was his fault and only his.
No one knew what he was feeling. No one could understand no matter how hard they tried. "That's about to change"he whispered to himself "I'll make them see. I'll make them feel my pain and suffer."
He smiled a smile that would've made even Voldemort go running in the opposite direction with his tail between his legs.
Author Notes: Please forgive me if you don't like it. It's my first attempt at writing a fic so review and let me know what you think.