There was no better person fit to be King than Arthur Pendragon. The lives of the lost took rest on his brows—hundreds of lives were taken at his hand and that wounded him. Despite injustice, they gave him strength, he held them high on his shoulders with pride. It was the least he could do for them. He was well aware of the honor he had to feel with such trust they had for him.. His chest, protected by armor, held a heart full of compassion- a heart that fought with his mind to keep order and dignity in his reign. It was a heart that swelled to reach his entire kingdom; it was one filled with mercy and the conviction that all men had it in them to do the rightful thing. On his waist there lay a sword waiting to fight for what he believed in. It was not forged for waging war, but defending dignity and justice to all the people of his kingdom. And finally, and possibly most importantly, were his eyes. The pain of his own mistakes taking innocent lives tainted them blued. Every time he failed the ocean in his irises became deeper, and emptier. But everything holds its treasures. He had walls shining sapphires implanted from the hearts of every person that had ever loved and believed in him. The darkness rose with the trust of his friends and of his people. His faith and their faith are what makes his eyes glisten. His loyalty to them and their loyalty to him are what made him a true King. He is the emissary to the greatest kingdom anyone will ever know.

"Honey, please come down stairs, it's time for dinner!"
"Just a minute, Val, I'm just finishing this up!" the author yelled back to his wife.

It was early morning when he next opened his eyes-early, early morning. The sun hadn't made its way high enough in the sky to shine through the window. Normally, the king would arise just after the sun, but this morning, as well as recent mornings, had been different. He hadn't slept much in the past week or so. Something played at the back of his mind, something he couldn't identify. It was something just enough to keep him awake no matter how tired he was. There had been few time he even got—
"Now, Jack!"
"Alright, fine! I'm coming!"
-an hour's worth of sleep. He hadn't been able to figure out what made him so restless. He considered sorcery; he knew what an enchantment felt like, but this wasn't it-
"Jack! "
"Alright, alright!" He closed his lap top and ran downstairs towards the dining room. When he entered the room, Valerie was praying. He never understood why she did it. They were never particularly religious. They only attended Sunday mass when they were with her parents. And the thing is , she always hated it as a kid when her parents made her go, or pray, yet she always prayed before she ate. He never bothered to ask why, he trusted she had her reasons and he respected that. He quietly sat down and waited for her to finish.
"Amen," she said looking up. "Oh, there you are."
"Sorry, I didn't want—"
"To lose your train of thought, I know." She finished. He noticed the slight disappointment in her brown eyes. She supported every one of his endeavors, but there were times when she questioned if it was in his best interest. He served himself a salad and quietly began to munch away at it. He gradually began to notice a few small, different things about tonight. Val was wearing a new strapless, soft pink dress and a pearl necklace. She placed half of her brown curls up to the side with a white bow. Her chocolate-caramel skin glowed especially tonight. Her cheeks were painted like a delicate pink rose. He suddenly realized that, it wasn't exactly new that she was this beautiful…something about this night was different than others. It made him smile
"You look lovely tonight," He said.
She smiled that smile one usually did when they were flattered. He smiled back. He wondered why she had put extra care into dinner tonight. The table was set with the plates and silverware they were given on their wedding. Flowers were placed gently in the center of the table. They resembled the color of her dress. Candles were lit on either side of the flowers, carefully making the room dance with dim light….did he miss something? He thought for a moment, and immediately hated himself the moment he realized it.
"Oh, God, I am so sorry, I forgot." He resented himself for forgetting their first wedding anniversary.
"It's alright, you've been busy writing your book." She said not really sounding like she believed it was OK.
"No, I am so sorry, I'm such an idiot, I'll make it up to you, I swear. I'll ev—"
"No, really, it's fine." She said with forgiving eyes. She really meant it, "What's a year of marriage anyway?"
That was a stab in the gut. Jack deserved it, he knew he deserved it. He had screwed up a lot in the past year—more so than in the total three years they had been together. He didn't know how to redeem himself , he didn't feel that he could say anything that would even give him a morsel of redemption. He was quiet.
It stayed that way until they finished their salads and moved on to the roast chicken. He tried smiling at her—genuine smiles. He would always take her presence for granted and he knew it. The first few times smiling at her it obviously relieved some tension, but the more he tried to smile the more questions accompanied her eyes and the return smile. She couldn't stand it any longer. She finally decided to break the silence.
"How is your book coming along?"
Luckily he could tell she was genuinely interested. " I think I'm finally on the right track- this could be it."
"Yeah? What's this one about?"
"Um…." He hesitated trying to think of the best way to describe his wacky inspiration to her. "Well, it's about a King who relies mostly on his Servant—which just so happens to be his best friend—his wife and his knights."
"That's a brief description, I assume?" She asked poking fun at the weak summary.
"Well it's obviously more! I can't just tell you Spoilers and all…."
She laughed, "Well keep me posted. How far along is it."
"Like….two paragraphs," Val giggled at that, "what?" He laughed incredulously.
"Nothing, nothing, I just don't understand, how can you be so confident so early in the process?"
"I can't explain it, it's weird, you know. It's almost like it's a memory. It's as if I were writing a sort of memoir, but of course that can't be it because I am not that old, nor am I a King."
The joke was lost at that part—but a good kind of lost. The conversation fell awkwardly after that. He probably should have kept the king part to himself, it was supposed to be funny but Val never thought so. She always hated it when he put himself down—even when it wasn't intended. Sometimes he wondered why. Jack couldn't just leave it wordless at the table. He attempted to pick the conversation back up.
"Yeah, but what about you? How is the apprenticeship going?"
"Well, nothing new really.… It's the same I-hate-my-job-but-I-wouldn't-trade-it-for-the-world kinds of things. She's got be doing ridiculous tasks like prepping her designs for a presentation, only for me to finish and she tells me she hates the designs and to re-do the presentation with new designs."
"What? That's ridiculous."
"But remember how when I first signed on for this, she promised to look at my designs? Well she's refined it a bit. She said she would actually consider them for next fall's line."
"What's the difference?" Jack said confused.
"Just simply looking at my designs means I lay out my portfolio in front of her and she tells me it's rubbish and I have work to do. Considering my designs, means that I lay out my portfolio in front of her and she says 'work on that, I want it displayed in the spring, but with these modifications'."
Val took one look at Jack and realized it didn't register in his head.
"She said she would put my designs in next fall's compilation of designs."
And it clicked. "That's wonderful! The world needs to see your designs."
"Oh, no, it would be nothing international- at least not at first. Plus, I would only be getting secondary credit."
"What does that mean?"
"It means it'll say M. Maslan on the tags and not Val Cotter."
"How do you get credit at all then?"
"Well, it happens with most designers. They have hoards of people that show her designs, from which she chooses some and modifies them. To the people buying my designs, it will have been from M. Maslan, but to future companies hiring designers; it will have been from Val Cotter. Does that make sense?"
"So she gets the public credit and you the private?"
"Yes, exactly."
He nodded, to let her know he understood. "Do you think she'll change your designs?"
"It's hard to say. She seems to like me a lot, but that doesn't mean she'll like my designs a lot."
"What kinds of things were you going to present to her? You should show her that dress you showed me the one with the…what did you call it? Halter top?"
She laughed, "No that would be a summer dress. I was thinking something on the lines of kind of… elegant. Like what you might wear to a formal evening event in the fall. I'm thinking I'll show her a few sort of ball-gown sort of things. Maybe something that would just hang from the waist you know. Something simple, elegant and graceful…kind of flowy, you know?"
"That sounds lovely…" Jack didn't speak the language of fashion. A dress was a dress and a season was a season, he didn't understand the relationship between the two.
"Thanks," she laughed, knowing full and well that he meant the compliment even though he was lost.
"When will she look at your designs?"
"Sometime in the next late spring or early summer."
"I can't wait." He smiled, " be sure to let me know when you find out."
The couple shared more stories about their separate lives. Many laughs and tales later—and long after they finished eating—the couple cleaned up and sat together in the living room. They sat there, Val under Jacks arm, just enjoying each other's presence. Jack ran his fingers through Val's soft hair. He inhaled her sweet smell that had stuck with her since the day he fell in love with her three years ago. He sat there thinking about how much he took her for granted. Every day she did the best she could to show her appreciation for him and in that moment he regretted every second he didn't do the same for her. He thought about every time she was there for him, there to tell him that he could do it. Since the day he married her he couldn't even count how many times he had needed her. He tried to think those three years back. He remembered how much she inspired him. Ever since he had a reason to feel love, he had been able to feel other things too. He could barely recall his life before her. How could he live 22 years in the dark, then suddenly for three years become alive only after he met her. He thought back 365 days ago when he knew he was marrying the person who made him happiest—365 days ago when for once he felt he was doing the right thing. And ever since then, he took her inspiration and love and compassion for granted. And until this day he didn't realize how much wrong he did to her by not proving to her every single day that he was drowning in gratitude for her. He vowed to make next year better. But that was too far from now. Today had to be better.
Jack got up slowly, so Val could sit up. He walked towards the radio and smiled at her. She returned his smile with a curious undertone. He put in a CD, and Val immediately recognized what it was. Jack held out his hand to her and she took it. Val rose in front of him. They pressed their bodies close. Val's right hand went in his left hand, and her her left went on his shoulder. Jack placed his right hand on her waist. They two slowly swayed to the song Jack had dedicated to her on the day that they officially started their life together.
Can you feel the wind of Venus on your skin?
Can you taste the crush of the sunset's dying blush?
` Stars will always hand in Summer's bleeding veils.
Why would he choose this song? It probably had to do with its artistic nature—Jack always could identify the beauty in things. She appreciated that about him. No matter how ugly things got he could always see beauty. It wasn't that annoying optimism though, it was different. Optimism is making the best of every situation. Jack could see the world differently. He saw the broader image. He saw how beauty articulates itself into everything, whether it was good or bad.
Can you feel the rings of Saturn on your finger?
Can you taste the ghosts who shed their creaking hosts?
But seas forever boil, trees will turn to soil.
Even though the song didn't exactly make sense she knew he meant his best. He thought it was worth dedicating to her, so she knew it was done with her best interest. She relaxed and rested her head on his chest. She could vaguely hear his heart beat—slow, calm, and steady, like the gently thud of eagles wings as it soared in the sky. It was that of someone who was happy, and desired no more than to continue that moment forever. She laughed, a small laugh, inaudible to Jack. It reminded her of when she did the same thing a year ago and his heart was racing like a hummingbird's wings Oh how much things had changed.
` Stars will always hand in Summer's bleeding veils.
She felt his fluent, perpetual breath. As his chest lightly rose and fell she let her eyes close. She was so proud of him. When she first married him he was just a prince destined to be King. She saw all the potential he had. She could see that he had the ability to accomplish, and achieve so many things, and here he was accomplishing and achieving them. He wasn't yet a King, but he was no longer the boy she married. He was growing and she could see it as bright as day. Her heart swelled when she saw how much he had diverged from his younger, more naive self. It was amazing to know that she had helped him in trying to become this new man. She could so easily forgive him for forgetting this day. It meant nothing compared to how much she could see was coming. She loved him so much, and to know she made a difference meant more than any boring annual celebration of the love they shared every day. She forgave him for every moment he didn't display his gratitude. She forgave him for every time he was more focused on his work more than her because she knew, in the end, all that mattered was them. She knew that in his hear she mattered most to him—she didn't need daily proof of that.

But seas forever boil, trees will turn to soil.

No matter how little he showed her, she always knew that they shared something that couldn't be broken.
The song ended and the couple stopped moving. They stayed holding each other for a long while in silence. There was a kind of silent conversation happening between their bodies. They shared a mutual thought; nothing mattered but this. They both knew that no matter what happened they could always return to each other at the end of the day and feel this. Even if the world was ending, they knew they could hold each other and get through it, happily. They could be together and the uncertainty of another day couldn't scathe them.
Val looked up at him, into his eyes. She immediately saw the man she first met on the way to work three years ago. His eyes were so young, kind and full of compassion. She saw darkness, though too, and something drew her to that. She remembered the courage he had, how brave he was. How she had known he held so much inside him, she might never know. A small fragile smile came across his face, telling her that Jack was remember the same moment when he first looked into her eyes.
Jack kissed her forehead, "I love you"

The couple knew the romance had to end for tonight. Despite how much love they had for each other, they still had deadlines to attend to. Val pulled out her sketch book and Jack got his computer to write some more.

The King felt resilient to tell anyone about his peculiar sleeping habits. He considered talking to Gaius but simply couldn't think of an instance where he would have time to do so. He sat in bed thinking about his day—it seemed rather uneventful from what he could remember. There had to be more…. He could remember that he promised to talk to some people about supposed problems they've been having….there were preparations to be made for King Bayard's arrival tomorrow… that wasn't it though…what else was there? Arthur tried thinking hard—it was impossible though. As tired as he was it was a waste of energy to focus on such things. His body was working endlessly trying to work for days at a time without rest. He hated being like this. How can someone be a King with so little of a present mind?
Again, thinking was too difficult. Arthur let his mind clear—which took effort. Everything took effort. Every single little thing was becoming a hardship. He needed to figure out how to be cured of this. As a knight, and a King he needed to be strong. Weakness was not in the job description. He vowed to do what he could to solve the problem today.
He lay in been a while longer and a while later the sun shown bright through the windows.
"Good morning sire!" Merlin said walking joyfully into the room with a plate of food in his hand.
"Hello Merlin." He got up and sat on the edge of the bed. He put his forehead in his hands.
"I have your breakfast"
"Could you just set it on the table?"
Merlin, obediently did just that. "Is there anything I can—" he looked at Arthur's exhausted figure. Magic stirred up inside him It was so much that it caught him off guard and he felt nauseous. He had to blink away the dizziness in his head before Arthur noticed . Something was up. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine, Merlin." He never felt the need to lie to Merlin before.
"You look exhausted."
"I just woke up you clotpole."
Merlin decided to let it go for now. "Sorry, sire."
Arthur would have thrown another retort at Merlin, but, again, it required more energy than his body was willing to give up. "I need you to see to it that everything is getting for Bayard's return—it needs to be perfect after what happened last time."
"Of course. Anything else?"
"Yes, When are those townspeople coming?"
"I suspect soon, but is there anything else?" Merlin said, obviously implying that he was missing something.
"What?"
"You promised Gwen you would go on a picnic with her today."
Arthur sighed, "Right." Arthur was immediately angry for forgetting. "Thank you. Make sure our lunch is prepared and ready to go by noon."
"Yes, Sire." Merlin bowed and walked out.
Arthur quickly got dressed, eager to get to Gaius before he had to be in the court room. Despite his determination, the medial task seemed tiring and painstaking. How long would this last? Arthur didn't hesitate to get to the court Physician. He tried to look normal as he walked. The castle was buzzing with such intense plans following. Here and there he received good-morning-sire's and bows. He calmly returned the favor and kept moving. He wished he would hurry and get there. He hustled around the corner expecting the door to his chamber. When he found he was in the wrong place he gave himself a mental slap in the face. Get it together, he thought. He wandered a while, checking on guard post, to make it seem normal. It took him way longer than he expected to find the Physician. He had been in the castle his entire life, but he forgot how to get around. Arthur panicked for a split second then he found the door he was looking for.
He knocked on the door, rather impatiently, Gaius opened the door half-expecting Arthur, but not for the reason Arthur was there.
"Oh hello, your highness, come in."
"Good Morning, Gaius." Arthur said walking in. He unexpectedly saw Gwen.
"Hello, Arthur," Gwen said smiling.
"Morning," he bowed to his wife. "What are you doing here?"
"Oh, I just had a little headache, I just came to ask Gaius for a remedy." The physician was back at his table of gizmos and potion, fidgeting with various herbs.
"I'll have that ready in just a moment, my lady" Said Gaius. "Arthur, what can I do for you?"
I need to talk to you, about tomorrow night."
"Yes, yes, of course. He popped a cork into the little bottle and gave it to Gwen. "This should help"
"Thank you, I'll go ahead and leave you to your official duties" she nodded at Arthur, walked past him and out the door.
Arthur waited a moment after the door clicked. "Please, come, sit." Gaius said. Normally Arthur would have refused, his body made him sit. "What matters do you wish to discuss?"
"There's something wrong with me Gaius"
"Why do you say that?"
Arthur took in a deep breath, just now realizing he didn't want to tell Gaius. He didn't want to tell anyone. He didn't know why, he just knew he didn't want to tell a soul. He had to think of a quick lie—one Gaius would believe. "I haven't been able to focus …" Arthur was never good at lying.
Gaius saw right through it, "A-ha, what is it really?
Arthur was determined to keep his insomnia to himself—besides his life wasn't entirely false. "I'm serious, I haven't been able to stay focused. I am getting distracted easily , I can't get anything done."
The physician was skeptical. " your highness, if you are not being entirely honest I may misdiagnose you, and that could be dangerous."
Arthur sighed again, he could never lie to Gaius, especially this mentally inept. He still hesitated before telling Gaius, but Gaius did that thing with his eyebrows, and it got him to tell the truth. " I haven't been myself lately, as you may have noticed, it's because I have been getting practically no sleep—I think I'm beginning to lose my memory. Simple tasks take unbelievable amounts of energy and I find myself having trouble doing the most simple things. I'm exhausted, I can't think properly….I can't function the way a King needs to function."
Gaius nodded and assessed for a moment, "When you sleep, do you have nightmares?"
"None that I can recall. Why?... Could this be magic?"
"It's possible, but I doubt it. This is not unnatural. I've dealt with many occasions similar to this."
"Can you cure it?"
Gaius took a moment.
"Gaius?"
"Well, something like this is complicated. The insomnia, memory loss and weakness may all be symptoms of something entirely different. I cannot identify what it is though with your mind and body so warn down. I can give you a remedy to help you sleep tonight and so forth until you are restored, then we can find out what it is.
"Do you know what it might be?"
"Without you being caught up on sleep, it's hard to say, there is a number of things it could be. It could also be physical anxiety, which is just as curable as most other things."
"Most?"
"It's nothing to worry about, si-"
The door burst open, "Gaius have you see—Oh Arthur." Merlin smiled. "You're needed in the court room."
"Thank you, Merlin" he nodded and stood, "Gaius I'll expect it tonight?"
"Yes, of course."
"Merlin," he nodded. Merlin returned the gesture.
Gaius waited a moment to make sure Arthur was out of earshot. "Have you noticed anything strange about Arthur?"
"I actually came to talk to you about that. This morning he seemed much more exhausted than usual, same for the past few days, but it was worse this morning."
"He said he hasn't been able to sleep. Is there anything else."
Merlin debated about telling Gaius about his rush of magic when he saw Arthur this morning. Gaius knew more about the combination of health and magic than anyone else Merlin knew, but he still hesitated.
"Merlin, what is it?"
He decided it was best to tell Gaius. "This morning when I brought Arthur breakfast, I could feel magic coming off of him. It was strong magic, magic that was planted inside him…Whatever is being used here is inside him."

Jack saved his chapter, closed his lap top and he and Val went to bed.

Notes: Hey guys! Thanks for reading this! This is my first Merlin Fanfiction and I think it's going OK? Is it? Reviews are always good. How are the characters? Anyway! That song that I put in is called "Sea of Teeth" and it's by Sparklehorse, you should check it out, it's really pretty.