A Heart For My Nobody says:
Hey all. This is the first posted of a number of back-stories I'm writing for the Final Fantasy VII universe. I just wanted to say that since this is only a one-chapter story, it would be really nice to hear from anyone who could spare the time for even a short review. I just want to know what you guys think, and maybe even some ideas for characters I might write out the back-stories for in the future. Remember, even a small review is appreciated, and I'll write back to anyone who isn't annonymous! Now, thanks for your time. I hope you all enjoy!
Barret
To a lot o' people... I'm just that angry-ass sonofa' with a gun on his arm. Nobody sees past th'cold hard exterior. Guess that's the way I like it. At least, most o' the time. It usually seems, most folk'd blame their attitudes on the streets, where they grew up. It ain't like that for me. I chose t'move to the city, chose t'live in the slums, and t'harden myself up like this. I wanted to be able to roar if I was pissed, and t'have my enemies crap their pants an' think that monster with the gun-arm was coming to kill 'em. That was all my own damn choice, but it wasn't the life I chose from the beginin'. Sometimes, things don't go the way you want 'em to. Sometimes, the Planet has a different plan for you, an' sometimes, your life just gets ripped away by people who don't give a crap 'bout anyone else.
I used t'have a life, long ago. Guess it wasn't that long, but each year since has felt like a damned lifetime. I had a best friend, a house, a goddamned job... I had a wife. My beautiful Myrna, Mrs. Myrna Wallace. She used t'say the Mrs. part made 'er sound old, but I always kinda like it. We lived in a town called Coral. It was a dusty old town, but it was quiet and calm, and so poor. Coral was built in th'desert, but there were trees back then, so it wasn't so hard t'find yourself some shade. All us who lived in Coral had small little houses, but they were comfortable, and we made our money off o' coal mining. It was a happy life... happy enough, anyway, 'till the Shinra Electric Power Company stepped in and ruined that life... ruined everyone's damn lives.
I remember that one year well. I'd grown to thirty-one-years livin' in the same house. Myrna'd moved in with me 'bout ten years before. I was known all around town. Hell, everyone was known. Weren't too many people even livin' there. Me and my wife were happy, settled in, and started thinkin' 'bout havin' a baby, but then she got sick. Now, we didn't have no fancy-pants big-time doctors back home. If I'd known how different the city ones were, I'd have done all I could and left my old house the second she'd got her first cough, but I wasn't world-wise enough back then, and that's my own damn fault too. The doc we did have, said it was the coal gettin' to her after all those years, and that her lungs just weren't working right no more. He told us, she wouldn't survive the whole birthin' process if we'd tried. So we gave up on havin' a baby that day. I woulda given up anything to spend more time with her, an' eventually, I would...
That year, my best friend in town, Dyne, was blessed with a baby. His wife, Eleanor, gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. They called me over when it happened, but Myrna had to stay at home, 'cause she was feelin' too sick to move. When I got there, Dyne and his wife just smiled at me, an' they told me that since Myrna and I couldn't have a baby of our own, they wanted us to name theirs. I think that was the nicest thing that anyone had ever done for me. We brought the baby back to my house to surprise my wife, and she smiled the biggest smile she'd done in ages. That moment... that was the brightest moment in my entire life. She named her Marlene.
Marlene was the apple o' my eye, in only a few days. We decided she'd call me Uncle Barret when she'd choose to start talkin'. It all gave a little bit more reason to my life. It gave me a new way o' lookin' at things... but that way would soon be my own downfall. About two weeks later, Shinra showed its ugly face in our town. We didn't know anything about the outside world, 'cept for the people who'd come an' buy our coal from time to time. We were perfect for those vermin to come in an' destroy everything we lived for. They first showed up in town, headin' straight on in to th'Mayor's house. It was just a couple o' guys in suits, and some well-dressed broad who wore her hair too tight. The next day, the whole damn town was called in to have a meetin' at the Mayor's place. The Shinra goons were there too, lookin' down their noises at us just t'make sure we were followin' their presentation. 'Course, I had no reason to hate 'em at the time. What they were tellin' us sounded like a real good thing.
Shinra was sayin' that the world was switchin' to using this natural energy source called Mako, and that the coal industry was goin' down hill fast. They told us that even the coal we were using was a dirty energy, pollutin' the town or somethin'. They said they were offerin' to build somethin' called a reactor in our town. Said the thing'd supply us all with clean, cheap energy, and make our lives better. At the end o' everything they'd been tellin' us, we couldn't say no, at least most o' us couldn't. Dyne stood up right there an' then, and he told 'em off like he was voicing everyone else's opinions. He told 'em that Coral was built around minin' coal, and that it was a profession passed down from our fathers, and from their fathers to them. He wanted nothin' to do with the idea, but Shinra could see that he was alone. The female vermin, Scarlet, talked with the mayor, and it was decided that we'd all meet again in two days to discuss our choice. Right then, Dyne thought his moral objections were shared by everyone, but durin' the day in between, he faced the cruel truth.
Dyne came to me sometime in the mornin', shoutin' 'bout how nobody else was on his side, an' how nobody respected their ancestors anymore. He was talkin' to me, assumin' I felt the exact same way as him. You see, Dyne and me had always been on the same page in the past. Whenever he felt strongly 'bout somethin', I was there t'back him up, and he was always there for me. I let him rant at me, soundin' almost like a madman, and believin' that my thoughts matched every word out o' his mouth, but I didn't have the heart to tell 'im he was wrong. Hell, Dyne made me feel for our ol' Coral way so much, he nearly had me convinced to turn this new reactor idea down by the time he left, but then those Shinra rats made a stop by my house.
Scarlet herself had a talk with me. Apparently, the Mayor'd told 'em that I was a good friend o' Dyne's, so they stopped by and started askin' me to change the guy's mind. I tried to tell 'em that Dyne was set in his ways, and that it didn't seem like anyone would be able to talk him out of our coal, but then they started talkin' 'bout my dear Myrna. Scarlet said that my wife was suffering from all the coal dust in th'air, and that it'd kill 'er if she had to breathe it in much longer. She told me that if we replaced the coal with Mako energy, the dust would go away, and eventually my wife would get better. 'till then, Myrna's condition was a death sentence, and hearin' those words comin' out of Scarlet's mouth, any reasons I had to oppose the reactor just disappeared. They had me. She left, sayin' that I needed to consider my wife, as if I wasn't considering her every goddamned minute of every day. I couldn't get myself to actually go and talk to Dyne, but I hoped that by some miracle, he'd have changed his mind the next day.
The next day came, an' even as I saw Dyne step into the Mayor's house, I could see in his eyes that he felt as strong as he did two days ago. As I said, Coral was a small place, so every big decision we ever made was voted on by all the people. 'Till that day, if any single person opposed what we voted on, it wasn't done. This turned out t'be a different matter though. Shinra was very good with words, an' the people were convinced that we needed the reactor to keep Coral going in the new world. Everyone was deceived by the Company, 'cept for Dyne, but nobody would listen to him, an' nobody wanted to take no for an answer. So even Coral's votin' system was challenged, and when Dyne voted against the reactor, we all went silent. A few people piped in, trying to convince Dyne otherwise, but he'd have none of it, 'specially from any o' them Shinra rats. Finally, the Mayor stepped forward, sayin' he didn't know what to do. Said straight out, the only one who was against this was Dyne. A damn tragedy for our ways was about to take place, an' I was gonna help...
Dyne stood up. He told 'em again. Said he was definitelyagainst it, and that there was nothin' to talk about if they were thinkin' of throwin' away our coal. He was yellin', tryin' to reach our hearts and break through Shinra's words. He tried to remind us our coal'd been protected for generations, and that lives'd been risked and lost for it, but none o' us would listen. Then I did one o' the things I regret most in my life. I stepped in, and I broke that strong heart o' Dyne's. I let 'im know he was really alone. I talked like I was a damn parrot for Shinra, sayin' that nobody used coal anymore. I said that it was a sign of the times. I didn't fuckin' know that. I was just repeatin' what I'd been told, and Scarlet butted in like the damned puppet-master, agreeing with what I said. She told 'im it'd be alright, and that Shinra'd take care o' him when the reactor was done. That was a load o' crap! Then I opened my mouth one more shameful time, but it was my weakened heart that spoke at that moment. I looked Dyne in the eye, an' I told 'im I didn't want my wife, Myrna, to suffer anymore.
Dyne started to break after that. He struggled one last time, sayin' he knew how we all felt, an' that he felt the same way, but that he wouldn't give up the coal. The Mayor broke the system then, tellin' Dyne that he had to understand. The poor man just went silent for the rest o' the day. He just curled in on himself, like he knew exactly what would come out o' all that. Scarlet wrapped up the meetin' then, and she had the damned nerve to come up an' tell me I made the right decision. I've never made a worse decision in my life. The very next day, the reactor's construction began.
For a time, Dyne actually started to settle down. He wasn't quite th'same man, but he'd started talkin' to people again, and tryin' his hardest to accept the reactor as a necessary evil. He even agreed to start goin' out on walks with me, to clear his mind. For those few weeks, nobody really had much of a job, what with the coal bein' taken away from us. Shinra gave everyone a little cut o' money for the coal, and for livin' 'till we found a new form o' work, so it was pretty comfortable not havin' to really do anything for once. For the people really itchin' for labor, the Company put 'em to work on the reactor. I just made use o' the time by tryin' to give old Dyne some better mental health. It was workin' too, until one day when we were on a walk, we saw a bunch o' armed Shinra guys headin' up to the reactor site. They told us a rebel group took control o' the place, an' were threatenin' the Mako. Needless to say, me an' Dyne ran to the reactor ourselves, but just before we got there, there was an explosion, an' the whole place went up in flames. It was a terrible thing, but th'Shinra guys seemed pretty mad, so we decided to go back to town, an' not get ourselves involved. We didn't even know the true meanin' of terrible...
When the two o' us returned to Coral, we witnessed th'most hellish thing we'd ever seen. The town, the houses, the trees, and all the people... everythin' was on fire! Those Shinra scum blamed th'people o' Coral for what happened at the reactor! They thought that someone in th'town had let that rebel group in! So they burned the whole damn place to the ground! Damn them! Me an' Dyne ran straight in to help the people, but we were too late. So many people were screamin', but everyone we found was already dead.
Then, I saw my own house. I knew that poor Myrna had just been layin' inside, too pained to move. She'd been just waitin' there for me to come home an' make her some soup. The flames on my house seemed bigger than all th'others to me. So I just screamed, an' I lost it, an' I ran to my house, to the door, just throwing burnin' pieces of wood out o' my way. My hands must've been a mess, but I didn't even feel the pain. I just kept throwin', and tryin' to force my way inside. All I could see were flames. There was nothing left in there, but I couldn't get myself to accept that. I couldn't! My eyes were stingin', and I woulda let myself burn to ash, if Dyne hadn't run in after me and wrestled me out like a wild bear. I gave him a good punch or two to th'face, but he didn't relent, not even for a moment. Not until I regained a little bit o' my senses, and I fell to the ground, to my knees, screamin' again. My body felt like it was on fire too, but it wasn't. That wasn't even the pain that my poor, beautiful, Myrna must o' felt. I hit th'ground, and again. Was Myrna callin' for me? What if I'd heard her on my walk? Did I hear her? Why didn't I hear her...?
I would o' gone mad, I think, but Dyne stayed there with me that whole time. He cried too. His house was just as bad as mine. There were no survivors... none... but Dyne stayed by my side. And he let me breathe in the smoke, and dig my hand into the burnin' earth, because I needed to. I shoulda been there more for him too, but I just couldn't see past th'images in my own head. Then the Shinra troops appeared again. They were probably the dirt that poured the damn gasoline! When they saw us, I wanted to run at them. I wanted to tear them apart with my own two hands, but in my right mind I would've known I couldn't. Dyne knew. He saw the guns they pointed like a firing-line, ready to execute the last survivors. He stopped me from goin', an' told me we'd come back when we had a chance o' winnin'. Winnin' hadn't even been in my head at the time, but when I heard the word come from him, that became my plan. So instead of fightin', we ran. We ran straight out of our hometown, bullets narrowly missin' us, and let all the things our ancestors worked so hard for burn down like th'wick of a candle...
Our feet carried us as far as the mountains to the north before those vermin caught up with us. We were running down a bridge o' train tracks when we saw four new gunmen comin' at us from the front. Dyne hopped off the bridge to a small piece o' land below, an' I followed him, dancin' 'round the rain o' bullets that followed us. We kept movin', an' I heard this nasty she-laugh comin' from up on the bridge. Scarlet was leadin' the damned party herself, an' tellin' 'em they weren't aimin' well enough. Dyne pointed out a path for us. It was a narrow little walkway that'd take us out o' site, an' out of the line o' fire. Only problem was, it was so thin, and right next to a deep canyon. I wasn't sure that I'd be able to make it through myself, but I didn't expect Dyne to have a hard time. The guns fired on us again, and it looked like we hadn't another choice. I moved on first, and Dyne followed closely behind, but suddenly a piece o' the ground fell out from under his foot, an' he started to fall. I turned around fast, even on the narrow edge, and caught Dyne by the hand as he dangled over the shadows below.
I'd almost just lost my best friend, an' I was holdin' on for dear life. I told him, I said not to let go. I tried to think o' things worth livin' for, other then just revenge. Dyne knew I needed him at the time. We were all that was left o' Coral, all that didn't burn down. He looked me in the eye, no fear in 'im, an' he said "Yeah... I ain't lettin' go...". That's when Scarlet grabbed one o' the guns herself, takin' aim, an' firin'. I watched the bullets blow apart the rock o' the cliff. I watched as they came at our hands... my poor, burnt hand, too weak to pull. Then, there was a searing pain. It shot up through my arm, an' it made my head ring. I squinted my eyes shut only for one, uncontrollable moment, and when I opened them back up... I watched him fall. Dyne fell down into the abyss, almost in slow motion. It felt like such a long moment, watchin' his eyes stare back at me, not even blinkin' as they disappeared into the darkness. All sound was gone, but then the distant noise of bullets came back to me, an' reminded me that I had to run, an' I had to live. I had to live for two of us now. So I did. I ran, I lived, an' Shinra didn't come after me anymore. Guess they figured I'd bleed out an' die on my own, but I wouldn't let that happen to me. Dyne wouldn't have let that happen to me...
I walked back to Coral later that day, after I saw the rest o' Shinra hightail it out o' there. I walked past all the houses I used to know, barely recognizable anymore. I walked back to my house, and I stared at it, and I cried, and I promised revenge. I built a small, little cross for Myrna, an' I stuck it in the ground just out front. I'd never really known what to believe... y'know... about what happens after you die. I mean... how could anyone really know, right? But then, an' only then, I got on my knees, an' I said my goodbyes to my poor wife. I told her I was sorry that I wasn't there for her, an' that she got sick, an' that we couldn't do nothin' about it... an' I told her I loved her.
Then, I heard a small sound. I couldn't tell what it was at first, but I stood up, an' I followed it. The sound led me to a small piece o' cloth that somehow managed to avoid the fire, an' there was something underneath, so I moved it. I couldn't believe my eyes. It was little baby Marlene. She was alive. I picked her up, an' I tried talkin' to her. I didn't really know how to talk t'babies. I just told her it was alright. I said I'd take care o' her. Then I heard another sound. This time it was footsteps, behind me. I turned around, tired, but ready to fight if I had to. When my eyes managed to focus, I saw a young lady with glasses, starin' at me. She wasn't from Coral, but she didn't look like she was from Shinra either. She told me that she didn't want trouble, an' she asked me if Marlene was mine. I said yes.
I got talkin' to the girl. I was probably bein' more trustin' than I should've been, but I felt like somehow, I could trust her. Her name was Shalua, an' she said she came there lookin' for her "reason to live". She was a scientist, I guess, an' when she looked at my shot-up arm, she knew I was too worse-for-wear to go on an' survive. So, she offered to help me out, an' fit me up with a prosthetic. I told her I didn't want a new hand... I told her to give me a gun. So she did, an' after the procedure, she even gave me a lift to a nearby place called Cosmo Canyon, an' wished me goodbye. I didn't really know what to expect o' the place, but they took me in, fed me and Marlene, and offered me shelter for a little while. I stayed there at that place for that little while, but I was always nagged 'bout Shinra an' what they did, so eventually, I took Marlene an' moved on. I learned more 'bout Shinra after that day. I learned that Mako was the Planet's energy source, an' that if we used it as our energy, the Planet might dry up an' die. I learned 'bout the dark things Shinra did, an' 'bout how they didn't care 'bout nobody but themselves. I even found out that Coral was the first place that Shinra discovered Mako. They were using us as goddamned guinea-pigs! We were only a bunch o' failed experiments to them!
That's why I get so pissed sometimes. That's why I became the person I am. That was when the monster with th'gun-arm was born. Not only did they take advantage of me, but they burned my village, killed my best friend, and they killed Myrna. They didn't even care one bit! So I moved to Midgar, the city of Shinra headquarters, an' I hid in the slums, where I met a nice young gal to take care o' Marlene with me. Shinra would not get away with what it'd done. I swore that much to Dyne, and to my wife, and to myself and all o' Coral! So I took up the same name as the rebel group who was givin' Shinra trouble in the past. They were some o' the first people to really know the truth 'bout what was goin' on, but just like Dyne, nobody'd listen to 'em. It was time for that group to come back, an' I would be the one to bring it all together. It was time for th'people to start listening. Shinra would learn again to fear the power of AVALANCHE...