Dusk
Disclaimer: Evangelion doesn't belong to me.
I'll try to do my best in how the characters would react, but be warned of Possible OOCs.
It was dusk over Tokyo-3, and in the Geofront the last angel was defeated.
The air was quiet at the apartment were Shinji was residing.
NERV was finished. The Angels were dead, and there would be no more need for
them. Or him for that mater.
So for the moment, he was without a job.
"Beautiful isn't it?" Asked a voice beside him.
Shinji looked at Misato, who was in a tank top and shorts.
The looked up at the sky as it was turning to shades of orange. A group of UN
aircraft came over in Delta formation as they flew over the city.
Shinji asked, "Misato, what's going to happen to us?"
There was a silence.
"I don't know Shinji, I honestly don't know." Replied Misato.
Shinji was silent before asking, "What about Rei? And Asuka?"
"Asuka's being sent back to the United Stated. They have the best hospital
facilities for her. As for Rei...she's going with your father." Said Misato.
Shinji looked back out at the horizon as the orange sun sank in the distance.
"Well, I guess we should probably hunt for jobs now, since NERV's dropping us."
Said Misato as she turned and entered the apartment.
Shinji turned his head to see her go and walked in.
"Misato, what's going to happen to me?" He asked.
Misato was fishing a beer out of the 'frige and she said, "Well...your father hasn't given
me a recall for you. As far as I know, You're my adopted son."
Shinji stood at the edge of the door frame, looking at her.
Misato closed the door and leaned on the frige as she popped open the can and
took a sip.
"I miss Pen-Pen." Said Misato.
Shinji nodded, "It has been quiet around here lately, with Asuka gone..." Said
Shinji.
Another silence came as the sound of the celebration below was heard.
No conversation was between them as each was thinking their own thoughts.
"Misato?"
"Mm?" She asked.
"Where will we go?" Asked Shinji, "If NERV is disbanded and SEELE's
collapsing, what's the world going to be like?"
Misato smiled weakly and looked at him, "Shinji, if I knew, I'd tell you." She
looked back down at the floor.
Shinji was silent.
"Oh, Shinji I almost forgot, we're out of milk." Said Misato and turned to get her
purse, "Can you go out and get some?"
"Yes." replied Shinji as he took the money and left the apartment.
Dusk continued to last as he was inside the supermarket.
He was in line and looking around as he waited his turn. There were only six
people left in front of him and he was bored as usual.
Out of the cornet of his eye he saw Hikari, laughing. He asked himself why, and
guessed perhaps that it was because it was all over. She would go on to live her normal
life, not considering about the NERV employees. He looked around more and saw
Kensuke and Touji.
He smiled as they looked his way but didn't notice him. He watched with sadness
as the two of them left without noticing him, exchanging a joke as they left.
He sighed and walked up to the counter.
Dusk was failing as he went back to the apartment.
He entered and saw Misato at the table, still drinking. In her hand, under two of
her fingers was a picture.
"I-I'm back..." He said as he opened the refrigerator and stowed the milk away.
She didn't reply.
He stood and looked over her shoulder at the photograph.
It was Kaji, smiling as usual with Misato at his side. They were very young, in
their late teens or so.
Only years ahead of his age.
He walked back outside on the balcony and watched the sun sink below the
distant mountains until the clouds were streaks of pink across a lavender sky.
He stepped off the balcony and into the room, closing the door behind him and
crossing the room to turn on the light.
Shinji noticed Misato had no reaction.
"M-Misato?" Asked Shinji.
She seemed to snap out of it and asked, "Yes Shinji-kun?"
"U-uh...are you all right?" He asked.
"Oh...sorry, just a bit of nostalgia." She said and stood, "Did you bring back the
milk yet?"
"I...I did minutes ago. You didn't seem to notice me come in." Said Shinji.
"Sorry Shinji...but....ever miss someone?" Asked Misato.
Shinji leaned against a wall and replied, "Many people Misato...I guess....I guess
My mother, and Kaworu...everyone. I miss Asuka too...and Pen-Pen. My friends,
Rei...the staff...Why?"
"I know how you feel." Said Misato and held up the photograph, "Do you miss
Kaji?"
"Yes." Replied Shinji with a hint of sadness.
"I do to. You know...he and I could have done so much together...and look at us
now. Separated at the last, and I don't get to say goodbye to him. Heh, in fact, I hated
him. Shinji...if you ever have friends, say goodbye before they disappear. Because I know
I didn't....and it hurts like Hell." Said Misato and slumped back into her chair.
"M-Misato?"
"Yes?"
"When is Asuka going to be moved?"
"I think she's still down at NERV." Said Misato, "Why?"
"I think I'll take your advice." Said Shinji and left.
Misato turned her head back to the photograph and held it up to look through the
shine.
Shinji entered the room. She was still on the bed, asleep no doubt in the coma.
He approached the bed and looked at her. The last time he was here it was the
same. She was resting, her body moving normally.
"A-Asuka?"
Nothing. Only silence and the hum of the lights in the room.
"Asuka...I came to say goodbye." Said Shinji.
Another pause.
"Listen....they're going to take care of you. You'll be moved to the best hospital in
the world Asuka, and you'll get better. I promise. But...but if you don't come back...I just
wanted to say...goodbye...." He lost his words.
Her sleeping body. He so much wanted to cuddle up to her and whisper it was all
right. But he was a coward, and he feared she would awaken and kill him.
But did she know compassion and caring? She was so cold to him, especially at
the last. But somewhere inside him he cared for her, although he didn't know about her
feelings.
He guessed, he'll never know.
She'd probably never see him again after today, as he knew. She'd want to bury
the memories of this place and the nightmares it caused.
Then he remembered the first time she came to the apartment. She was tormented
by her mother, and still was.
Was there any hope for her?
He knew it was time to go. It was late already, and visiting hours were drawing to
a close.
"Goodbye Asuka." He said. Shinji took in a breath and summoned his courage for
one last time.
He leaned down to her face and gave her an angel's kiss on the lips. He drew back
and straightened, looking at her. He brushed aside a strand of hair from her eyes and
turned. He headed for the door, stopping at it to look back.
A tear ran down his cheek as he knew this would be the last time he saw her.
Then he opened the door and walked outside.
The door closed, ending the moment.
In the corridors of the base, Shinji collapsed in a storm of sobs. His life,
everything he knew was drawing to a close. He would be in yet another home, and forced
to make other friends just as before when his father abandoned him and when he came
back. Now he was alone, after closing the door.
He didn't want to leave. Here was so many ties that he didn't want to let go.
Asuka, Rei, Toji, Kensuke, Hikari, Misato...the staff, and all those other people he knew.
He wanted to keep seeing them.
But it was over.
"Ikari-Kun, are you lost?" Asked a voice.
Shinji turned and saw Rei standing at the junction into the hallway. She was still
in her school uniform as always, and silently watching him.
"Rei....Ayanami." Said Shinji and stood.
"Are you okay Ikari-Kun?" she asked.
Shinji looked down at the floor and asked, "Rei....are you leaving?"
"Where Commander Ikari goes, I must go with him." Said Rei.
"Will I ever see you again?" He asked.
Rei replied, "Uncertain. Probably not."
Shinji closed his eyes, "I thought so."
"Ikari-Kun, do you need some comfort?" Asked Rei and walked forward.
"Yes..." Said Shinji.
She stood by his side and crouched down to his level. Her white hand reached
forward and wiped the tear from his cheek.
Then Shinji moved and opened his eyes.
His hand was clasped around her wrist.
Shinji's eyes widened in surprise and so did Rei's.
There was a moment of silence between them.
"Rei." Said a voice down the hall.
"Please let me go." Said Rei.
Shinji did so.
Rei stood, turned and walked down the hallway.
Shinji blinked and saw his father at the far end. He was still in his black suit and
glasses, a frown on his face. Rei came to his side and turned around to face him.
Shinji blinked and stared back at both of them.
"Father," He said and stood, "What's going to happen?"
"I'm leaving you in the care of Katsuragi. She has agreed to continue to take
responsibility for you. You need not call me father anymore." Said Gendo.
"But...will I ever see you again?" Asked Shinji.
There was a pause.
"No." Replied Gendo and turned.
"Father-" Said Shinji.
Gendo stopped and listened.
"Goodbye...father. Farewell Ayanami..." Said Shinji.
"Goodbye........son." Said Gendo and walked.
"Farewell Ikari-Kun....Shinji...." Said Rei and turned to follow her master.
Shinji watched them go until they disappeared in the darkness.
He closed his eyes, "Goodbye Father. Rei...."
He turned and walked away.
Shinji came to the exit and passed his card through the machine. The door opened
and he walked through, but stopped halfway.
In, and out.
His past, and his future.
He was here, and now.
One last thread to cut.
He stared back into the corridors of NERV, turned, and retraced his steps.
He found himself in the Eva cages.
He was looking up at the head of Eva-01, the last Eva remaining.
Shinji wondered why he was here.
His hand reached out and touched the cold metal of the Eva's armor.
He was once absorbed into this Eva, as he went Berserk. After he was recovered,
he had dreams about meeting his mother. All were false, he knew. But just once he
wanted to touch his mother.
He felt that way as his hand rested on the Eva.
"Mother....if you can hear me, please help me through this. I don't want to leave,
please help..." He whispered.
There was no response from the Eva.
He sighed and pressed harder on the metal, "Goodbye mother.......mom." He said
and slowly pried his hand from the metal face of the Eva.
He looked up at the head again, one last moment before turning and walking
away.
The thread was cut.
It was time to move on.
He checked his locker one more time, taking the plugsuit with him. He hoped that
the NERV people wouldn't mind him taking it. He looked down the lockers again. 00, 01,
02, 03, 04, and. The last one was never filled. Rei, Asuka, Toji, and himself. The Eva
pilots.
Then Kaworu.
He was gone, just like the rest.
He had mourned plenty, but there was something always left unsaid when he
thought about it. If only he could find those words.
Shinji turned and left the locker rooms, closing the door behind him.
He slipped through the door, turning back once more to look at the interior of
NERV.
Shinji turned back to face forward, closed his eyes, and took three steps. He heard
the door close behind him.
He opened his eyes and walked forward, willing not to look back.
Shinji arrived at Misato's apartment.
"You're back late. What kept you?" She asked.
"Nostalgia." Said Shinji and walked into the room he was in. It was here too,
Asuka's empty bed still there. They had taken her belongings long ago, when she was
showing signs of illness. Now only his belongings remained.
He set his limp plugsuit down on the bed and turned back to walk into the kitchen.
"I hope you don't mind some ice cream Shinji. I was saving it for a special
occasion and well....I guess this was special enough." Said Misato.
She placed a bowl of ice cream on the table. He took a seat and started digging in.
The taste of chocolate was on his tong and the stinging sensation of the cold was there
too.
"So, you cleared out everything then?" Asked Misato.
"Yeah." Said Shinji.
"See anyone you know?" Asked Misato in a hopeful tone.
"Asuka. I visited to say goodbye." Said Shinji.
"Oh." Said Misato.
Silence before Misato asked, "Anyone else?"
"Ayanami. And.....and my father." Said Shinji.
"What did he have to say?" Asked Misato.
"He said.....he said that you'd be taking full responsibility for me now. He
said....he said that he didn't need me to call him father anymore. I guess he's disowned
me." Said Shinji, looking down into his ice cream.
"Well, that's the way he is." Said Misato and slipped a spoonful of ice cream into
her mouth.
Shinji was hesitant with his.
The phone rang.
After a moment, Misato said, "I'll get it then."
She picked it up and asked, "Hello?"
Shinji was lost in thought, thinking about how what was next. He and Misato
would probably leave Tokyo-3 for somewhere else. But where? There was not much else
to go to. Most of the world was still flooded, and most of the major cities went too.
"Oh my god..."
Shinji snapped up and looked at Misato.
Her eyes were widened in amazement.
"Your not serious......... what? Oh God... Is he.... I understand. Yes, yes I'll tell
him. Thanks for calling." Said Misato and hung up.
"What was that all about?" Asked Shinji.
Misato turned and looked into his eyes. "Shinji, your father is dead."
"What?" He asked and stood hastily, knocking the chair backward and startling
the spoon out of his ice cream and onto the table, "How?"
"Heart attack. He died about five minutes ago in the NERV hospital." Said
Misato.
Shinji was silent.
"They want you to go back down to the hospital, they say your father wanted you
to have some things at his deathbed." Said Misato, "Do you need to be driven?"
"No, no I'll walk." He said and retrieved a jacket from his room. He returned and
Misato said, "Shinji....if you need someone to talk to..."
"Thank you Misato." Said Shinji and looked at her.
They both stared at each other for a moment before Shinji walked out the door.
He ran. Ran as fast as he could. His thoughts were strictly on getting through the
crowds and to the base. He ignored the familiar sights, faces, and passed Toji and
Kensuke without a word.
He came to the exit he had just left only minutes earlier. He swiped his card
through and the door slid open. Hurriedly he dashed for the medical ward.
In the corridor he ran for the room that the nurse gave him. He winced as he
passed a door, labeled "LANGLY."
He reached the door and paused at it, wondering what he'd expect beyond the
door.
Then he pressed the open.
The door slid open and he walked inside.
Rei was there and she looked up at him.
A doctor turned his head and asked, "Are you Shinji Ikari?"
"Y-Yes." Replied Shinji and stepped forward, "I am."
"Good..... I guess I'll leave you alone then." Said the doctor and walked out. Shinji
asked, "Did he die with much pain?"
The doctor, in the doorway nodded before walking outside. The door closed shut
and left him alone with Rei and what was left of his father.
Shinji approached the bed and looked at the dead man.
"What did he say?" Asked Shinji as he stood beside the bed.
"He wanted you here....Shinji. For his final words." Said Rei.
"Did he say what they were?" Asked Shinji.
Rei shook her head. "He wanted you here to say them. But you never came."
"I was never told." Said Shinji, "I was at Misato's. I just got the news minutes
ago."
Rei looked at Gendo. "He was so....saddened that you weren't here. He suffered
through much pain before he died."
Shinji was silent as she continued, "In his last words, he said to me that I should
go with you, as is his only son. I...I am to go with you and Misato. It was his final order."
Shinji looked over his father. Misato's words echoed in his ears, You know...he
and I could have done so much together...and look at us now. Separated at the last, and I
don't get to say goodbye to him. Heh, in fact, I hated him. Shinji...if you ever have friends,
say goodbye before they disappear. Because I know I didn't....and it hurts like Hell.
"I hope....I hope he's satisfied that I've come. I don't know if he was pleased with
me in life, but I guess his job was the only way he knew how to live. I hated him, hated
him because he left me behind. He was cold when my mother died and he cast me away. I
guess I should still hate him, but now I'm thinking about what could have been different.
He and I could have been like a normal family. But because he was so involved in his
job, that didn't happen. The only thing I can feel now is loss, and grief, for what could
have happened." Said Shinji.
"Now, any hope of healing the damage is gone." continued Shinji, "And there's
nothing I could have done. Nothing left I can work on."
"There's me." Said Rei.
He turned to her and she said, "I was closer to your father than you could have
known. Sometimes I wonder if he treated me like a daughter. He still knew about you
Shinji, and he cared. Often I would notice that he would wonder your status. I guess....I
guess he didn't want you to know for some reason."
Shinji looked at his dad and said, "We'll never know."
There was a silence.
Shinji reached into his pocket and pulled something out. It was something that
Misato had given him, but he never wore.
He placed it on his father's chest and lifted his hand away.
A crucifix cross rested on the black suit.
"Ikari-kun...take me home." Said Rei.
Shinji whispered a silent prayer for his father before looking at Rei and saying,
"Yes..... we'll go home."
He started for the door and Rei walked with him.
He paused again at the door and looked at his father before closing it behind him.
"Wait here." Said Shinji outside Asuka's room. He entered to see the doctors
moving her to another stretcher.
"Hey! Who are you?" Asked one.
Another said, "It's the third child! What do you want son?"
"Is...Is she going to be okay?" Asked Shinji.
"We're taking her to the Cleveland hospital. She'll receive the best of care there."
Said a doctor.
"Will she recover?" Asked Shinji.
"We can't say." Said a doctor.
Shinji stepped forward and said, "If she does, give her these." He said and handed
them an envelope and a cross.
They took them and left with Asuka. He watched her sleeping body as they took
her out of the room.
He emerged from the corridor and watched them leave.
"The pilot of unit 2." Said Rei and looked at Shinji.
"I'm going to miss Asuka, even if she was a pain." Said Shinji.
He started walking away and she followed him.
Shinji's mind was in the moment when he and her were left alone in that room.
The door to the apartment opened and in they came.
Misato looked up from the table and asked, "Rei, what are you doing here?"
"Commander Ikari's last orders." replied Rei.
She looked at Shinji, who just said, "That's what she says. Can she stay, Misato?
It's not like she has anywhere left to go."
Misato stood and said, "Well.....Okay. We don't have anyone with us either. So I
guess we're family then."
Shinji said, "At least. I wish....I wish Asuka was with us. Then it would be like
old times..."
"Hey, it's not the future yet. We still have tomorrow." Said Misato and continued,
"Speaking of which, it's about time the two of you got back to bed. Tomorrow's a big
day."
"Why?" Asked Rei.
"We're moving. I just got the paycheck from NERV. There's enough money in
there to retire on. So, we're moving to Okyama." Said Misato.
"Oh....what about everyone else?" Asked Shinji.
"A lot of people are moving out Shinji. After the Angels, no one wants to stay."
Said Misato.
"So, Toji and Kensuke-?"
"They're moving too." Said Misato.
Shinji said, "Everyone's leaving."
There was a moment of silence.
"Well, it's very late and you two need to get to bed. Rei, we'll stop by your
apartment and pick up your belongings tomorrow. In the meantime, you'll be sleeping in
with us." Said Misato.
"That is satisfactory." Said Rei.
Misato nodded.
In Shinji's room the door closed and he and Rei were left alone.
"Shinji-kun, can I sleep next to you tonight?" Asked Rei.
"Huh?" Asked Shinji.
"There are no covers left." Said Rei, "Your bed is sufficient enough to let us sleep
together.
"Uh...uh, if you insist." Said Shinji and moved over. Rei slipped out of her shoes
and slipped into the bed beside him. Shinji was in shorts and his nightshirt. Outside, the
stars shone brightly in the violet sky.
"Goodnight Shinji-kun." whispered Rei to his ear.
"Goodnight.....Rei." Said Shinji and closed his eye.
The two of them went to sleep, preparing for the next, fresh day for a new start.
Now it was time to leave behind what had happened and embrace the new. Who
knows? This is only another step in the road ahead for the rest of their lives.
-------------------------
Well, that's it. What do you think? I'd like POSITIVE reviews from my readers, not the
negative nonsense that somehow follows my fics around. If you can't post anything nice, don't post anything at all.
I'm also thinking about making this the first part of a series. Let me know! Thanks.
Disclaimer: Evangelion doesn't belong to me.
I'll try to do my best in how the characters would react, but be warned of Possible OOCs.
It was dusk over Tokyo-3, and in the Geofront the last angel was defeated.
The air was quiet at the apartment were Shinji was residing.
NERV was finished. The Angels were dead, and there would be no more need for
them. Or him for that mater.
So for the moment, he was without a job.
"Beautiful isn't it?" Asked a voice beside him.
Shinji looked at Misato, who was in a tank top and shorts.
The looked up at the sky as it was turning to shades of orange. A group of UN
aircraft came over in Delta formation as they flew over the city.
Shinji asked, "Misato, what's going to happen to us?"
There was a silence.
"I don't know Shinji, I honestly don't know." Replied Misato.
Shinji was silent before asking, "What about Rei? And Asuka?"
"Asuka's being sent back to the United Stated. They have the best hospital
facilities for her. As for Rei...she's going with your father." Said Misato.
Shinji looked back out at the horizon as the orange sun sank in the distance.
"Well, I guess we should probably hunt for jobs now, since NERV's dropping us."
Said Misato as she turned and entered the apartment.
Shinji turned his head to see her go and walked in.
"Misato, what's going to happen to me?" He asked.
Misato was fishing a beer out of the 'frige and she said, "Well...your father hasn't given
me a recall for you. As far as I know, You're my adopted son."
Shinji stood at the edge of the door frame, looking at her.
Misato closed the door and leaned on the frige as she popped open the can and
took a sip.
"I miss Pen-Pen." Said Misato.
Shinji nodded, "It has been quiet around here lately, with Asuka gone..." Said
Shinji.
Another silence came as the sound of the celebration below was heard.
No conversation was between them as each was thinking their own thoughts.
"Misato?"
"Mm?" She asked.
"Where will we go?" Asked Shinji, "If NERV is disbanded and SEELE's
collapsing, what's the world going to be like?"
Misato smiled weakly and looked at him, "Shinji, if I knew, I'd tell you." She
looked back down at the floor.
Shinji was silent.
"Oh, Shinji I almost forgot, we're out of milk." Said Misato and turned to get her
purse, "Can you go out and get some?"
"Yes." replied Shinji as he took the money and left the apartment.
Dusk continued to last as he was inside the supermarket.
He was in line and looking around as he waited his turn. There were only six
people left in front of him and he was bored as usual.
Out of the cornet of his eye he saw Hikari, laughing. He asked himself why, and
guessed perhaps that it was because it was all over. She would go on to live her normal
life, not considering about the NERV employees. He looked around more and saw
Kensuke and Touji.
He smiled as they looked his way but didn't notice him. He watched with sadness
as the two of them left without noticing him, exchanging a joke as they left.
He sighed and walked up to the counter.
Dusk was failing as he went back to the apartment.
He entered and saw Misato at the table, still drinking. In her hand, under two of
her fingers was a picture.
"I-I'm back..." He said as he opened the refrigerator and stowed the milk away.
She didn't reply.
He stood and looked over her shoulder at the photograph.
It was Kaji, smiling as usual with Misato at his side. They were very young, in
their late teens or so.
Only years ahead of his age.
He walked back outside on the balcony and watched the sun sink below the
distant mountains until the clouds were streaks of pink across a lavender sky.
He stepped off the balcony and into the room, closing the door behind him and
crossing the room to turn on the light.
Shinji noticed Misato had no reaction.
"M-Misato?" Asked Shinji.
She seemed to snap out of it and asked, "Yes Shinji-kun?"
"U-uh...are you all right?" He asked.
"Oh...sorry, just a bit of nostalgia." She said and stood, "Did you bring back the
milk yet?"
"I...I did minutes ago. You didn't seem to notice me come in." Said Shinji.
"Sorry Shinji...but....ever miss someone?" Asked Misato.
Shinji leaned against a wall and replied, "Many people Misato...I guess....I guess
My mother, and Kaworu...everyone. I miss Asuka too...and Pen-Pen. My friends,
Rei...the staff...Why?"
"I know how you feel." Said Misato and held up the photograph, "Do you miss
Kaji?"
"Yes." Replied Shinji with a hint of sadness.
"I do to. You know...he and I could have done so much together...and look at us
now. Separated at the last, and I don't get to say goodbye to him. Heh, in fact, I hated
him. Shinji...if you ever have friends, say goodbye before they disappear. Because I know
I didn't....and it hurts like Hell." Said Misato and slumped back into her chair.
"M-Misato?"
"Yes?"
"When is Asuka going to be moved?"
"I think she's still down at NERV." Said Misato, "Why?"
"I think I'll take your advice." Said Shinji and left.
Misato turned her head back to the photograph and held it up to look through the
shine.
Shinji entered the room. She was still on the bed, asleep no doubt in the coma.
He approached the bed and looked at her. The last time he was here it was the
same. She was resting, her body moving normally.
"A-Asuka?"
Nothing. Only silence and the hum of the lights in the room.
"Asuka...I came to say goodbye." Said Shinji.
Another pause.
"Listen....they're going to take care of you. You'll be moved to the best hospital in
the world Asuka, and you'll get better. I promise. But...but if you don't come back...I just
wanted to say...goodbye...." He lost his words.
Her sleeping body. He so much wanted to cuddle up to her and whisper it was all
right. But he was a coward, and he feared she would awaken and kill him.
But did she know compassion and caring? She was so cold to him, especially at
the last. But somewhere inside him he cared for her, although he didn't know about her
feelings.
He guessed, he'll never know.
She'd probably never see him again after today, as he knew. She'd want to bury
the memories of this place and the nightmares it caused.
Then he remembered the first time she came to the apartment. She was tormented
by her mother, and still was.
Was there any hope for her?
He knew it was time to go. It was late already, and visiting hours were drawing to
a close.
"Goodbye Asuka." He said. Shinji took in a breath and summoned his courage for
one last time.
He leaned down to her face and gave her an angel's kiss on the lips. He drew back
and straightened, looking at her. He brushed aside a strand of hair from her eyes and
turned. He headed for the door, stopping at it to look back.
A tear ran down his cheek as he knew this would be the last time he saw her.
Then he opened the door and walked outside.
The door closed, ending the moment.
In the corridors of the base, Shinji collapsed in a storm of sobs. His life,
everything he knew was drawing to a close. He would be in yet another home, and forced
to make other friends just as before when his father abandoned him and when he came
back. Now he was alone, after closing the door.
He didn't want to leave. Here was so many ties that he didn't want to let go.
Asuka, Rei, Toji, Kensuke, Hikari, Misato...the staff, and all those other people he knew.
He wanted to keep seeing them.
But it was over.
"Ikari-Kun, are you lost?" Asked a voice.
Shinji turned and saw Rei standing at the junction into the hallway. She was still
in her school uniform as always, and silently watching him.
"Rei....Ayanami." Said Shinji and stood.
"Are you okay Ikari-Kun?" she asked.
Shinji looked down at the floor and asked, "Rei....are you leaving?"
"Where Commander Ikari goes, I must go with him." Said Rei.
"Will I ever see you again?" He asked.
Rei replied, "Uncertain. Probably not."
Shinji closed his eyes, "I thought so."
"Ikari-Kun, do you need some comfort?" Asked Rei and walked forward.
"Yes..." Said Shinji.
She stood by his side and crouched down to his level. Her white hand reached
forward and wiped the tear from his cheek.
Then Shinji moved and opened his eyes.
His hand was clasped around her wrist.
Shinji's eyes widened in surprise and so did Rei's.
There was a moment of silence between them.
"Rei." Said a voice down the hall.
"Please let me go." Said Rei.
Shinji did so.
Rei stood, turned and walked down the hallway.
Shinji blinked and saw his father at the far end. He was still in his black suit and
glasses, a frown on his face. Rei came to his side and turned around to face him.
Shinji blinked and stared back at both of them.
"Father," He said and stood, "What's going to happen?"
"I'm leaving you in the care of Katsuragi. She has agreed to continue to take
responsibility for you. You need not call me father anymore." Said Gendo.
"But...will I ever see you again?" Asked Shinji.
There was a pause.
"No." Replied Gendo and turned.
"Father-" Said Shinji.
Gendo stopped and listened.
"Goodbye...father. Farewell Ayanami..." Said Shinji.
"Goodbye........son." Said Gendo and walked.
"Farewell Ikari-Kun....Shinji...." Said Rei and turned to follow her master.
Shinji watched them go until they disappeared in the darkness.
He closed his eyes, "Goodbye Father. Rei...."
He turned and walked away.
Shinji came to the exit and passed his card through the machine. The door opened
and he walked through, but stopped halfway.
In, and out.
His past, and his future.
He was here, and now.
One last thread to cut.
He stared back into the corridors of NERV, turned, and retraced his steps.
He found himself in the Eva cages.
He was looking up at the head of Eva-01, the last Eva remaining.
Shinji wondered why he was here.
His hand reached out and touched the cold metal of the Eva's armor.
He was once absorbed into this Eva, as he went Berserk. After he was recovered,
he had dreams about meeting his mother. All were false, he knew. But just once he
wanted to touch his mother.
He felt that way as his hand rested on the Eva.
"Mother....if you can hear me, please help me through this. I don't want to leave,
please help..." He whispered.
There was no response from the Eva.
He sighed and pressed harder on the metal, "Goodbye mother.......mom." He said
and slowly pried his hand from the metal face of the Eva.
He looked up at the head again, one last moment before turning and walking
away.
The thread was cut.
It was time to move on.
He checked his locker one more time, taking the plugsuit with him. He hoped that
the NERV people wouldn't mind him taking it. He looked down the lockers again. 00, 01,
02, 03, 04, and. The last one was never filled. Rei, Asuka, Toji, and himself. The Eva
pilots.
Then Kaworu.
He was gone, just like the rest.
He had mourned plenty, but there was something always left unsaid when he
thought about it. If only he could find those words.
Shinji turned and left the locker rooms, closing the door behind him.
He slipped through the door, turning back once more to look at the interior of
NERV.
Shinji turned back to face forward, closed his eyes, and took three steps. He heard
the door close behind him.
He opened his eyes and walked forward, willing not to look back.
Shinji arrived at Misato's apartment.
"You're back late. What kept you?" She asked.
"Nostalgia." Said Shinji and walked into the room he was in. It was here too,
Asuka's empty bed still there. They had taken her belongings long ago, when she was
showing signs of illness. Now only his belongings remained.
He set his limp plugsuit down on the bed and turned back to walk into the kitchen.
"I hope you don't mind some ice cream Shinji. I was saving it for a special
occasion and well....I guess this was special enough." Said Misato.
She placed a bowl of ice cream on the table. He took a seat and started digging in.
The taste of chocolate was on his tong and the stinging sensation of the cold was there
too.
"So, you cleared out everything then?" Asked Misato.
"Yeah." Said Shinji.
"See anyone you know?" Asked Misato in a hopeful tone.
"Asuka. I visited to say goodbye." Said Shinji.
"Oh." Said Misato.
Silence before Misato asked, "Anyone else?"
"Ayanami. And.....and my father." Said Shinji.
"What did he have to say?" Asked Misato.
"He said.....he said that you'd be taking full responsibility for me now. He
said....he said that he didn't need me to call him father anymore. I guess he's disowned
me." Said Shinji, looking down into his ice cream.
"Well, that's the way he is." Said Misato and slipped a spoonful of ice cream into
her mouth.
Shinji was hesitant with his.
The phone rang.
After a moment, Misato said, "I'll get it then."
She picked it up and asked, "Hello?"
Shinji was lost in thought, thinking about how what was next. He and Misato
would probably leave Tokyo-3 for somewhere else. But where? There was not much else
to go to. Most of the world was still flooded, and most of the major cities went too.
"Oh my god..."
Shinji snapped up and looked at Misato.
Her eyes were widened in amazement.
"Your not serious......... what? Oh God... Is he.... I understand. Yes, yes I'll tell
him. Thanks for calling." Said Misato and hung up.
"What was that all about?" Asked Shinji.
Misato turned and looked into his eyes. "Shinji, your father is dead."
"What?" He asked and stood hastily, knocking the chair backward and startling
the spoon out of his ice cream and onto the table, "How?"
"Heart attack. He died about five minutes ago in the NERV hospital." Said
Misato.
Shinji was silent.
"They want you to go back down to the hospital, they say your father wanted you
to have some things at his deathbed." Said Misato, "Do you need to be driven?"
"No, no I'll walk." He said and retrieved a jacket from his room. He returned and
Misato said, "Shinji....if you need someone to talk to..."
"Thank you Misato." Said Shinji and looked at her.
They both stared at each other for a moment before Shinji walked out the door.
He ran. Ran as fast as he could. His thoughts were strictly on getting through the
crowds and to the base. He ignored the familiar sights, faces, and passed Toji and
Kensuke without a word.
He came to the exit he had just left only minutes earlier. He swiped his card
through and the door slid open. Hurriedly he dashed for the medical ward.
In the corridor he ran for the room that the nurse gave him. He winced as he
passed a door, labeled "LANGLY."
He reached the door and paused at it, wondering what he'd expect beyond the
door.
Then he pressed the open.
The door slid open and he walked inside.
Rei was there and she looked up at him.
A doctor turned his head and asked, "Are you Shinji Ikari?"
"Y-Yes." Replied Shinji and stepped forward, "I am."
"Good..... I guess I'll leave you alone then." Said the doctor and walked out. Shinji
asked, "Did he die with much pain?"
The doctor, in the doorway nodded before walking outside. The door closed shut
and left him alone with Rei and what was left of his father.
Shinji approached the bed and looked at the dead man.
"What did he say?" Asked Shinji as he stood beside the bed.
"He wanted you here....Shinji. For his final words." Said Rei.
"Did he say what they were?" Asked Shinji.
Rei shook her head. "He wanted you here to say them. But you never came."
"I was never told." Said Shinji, "I was at Misato's. I just got the news minutes
ago."
Rei looked at Gendo. "He was so....saddened that you weren't here. He suffered
through much pain before he died."
Shinji was silent as she continued, "In his last words, he said to me that I should
go with you, as is his only son. I...I am to go with you and Misato. It was his final order."
Shinji looked over his father. Misato's words echoed in his ears, You know...he
and I could have done so much together...and look at us now. Separated at the last, and I
don't get to say goodbye to him. Heh, in fact, I hated him. Shinji...if you ever have friends,
say goodbye before they disappear. Because I know I didn't....and it hurts like Hell.
"I hope....I hope he's satisfied that I've come. I don't know if he was pleased with
me in life, but I guess his job was the only way he knew how to live. I hated him, hated
him because he left me behind. He was cold when my mother died and he cast me away. I
guess I should still hate him, but now I'm thinking about what could have been different.
He and I could have been like a normal family. But because he was so involved in his
job, that didn't happen. The only thing I can feel now is loss, and grief, for what could
have happened." Said Shinji.
"Now, any hope of healing the damage is gone." continued Shinji, "And there's
nothing I could have done. Nothing left I can work on."
"There's me." Said Rei.
He turned to her and she said, "I was closer to your father than you could have
known. Sometimes I wonder if he treated me like a daughter. He still knew about you
Shinji, and he cared. Often I would notice that he would wonder your status. I guess....I
guess he didn't want you to know for some reason."
Shinji looked at his dad and said, "We'll never know."
There was a silence.
Shinji reached into his pocket and pulled something out. It was something that
Misato had given him, but he never wore.
He placed it on his father's chest and lifted his hand away.
A crucifix cross rested on the black suit.
"Ikari-kun...take me home." Said Rei.
Shinji whispered a silent prayer for his father before looking at Rei and saying,
"Yes..... we'll go home."
He started for the door and Rei walked with him.
He paused again at the door and looked at his father before closing it behind him.
"Wait here." Said Shinji outside Asuka's room. He entered to see the doctors
moving her to another stretcher.
"Hey! Who are you?" Asked one.
Another said, "It's the third child! What do you want son?"
"Is...Is she going to be okay?" Asked Shinji.
"We're taking her to the Cleveland hospital. She'll receive the best of care there."
Said a doctor.
"Will she recover?" Asked Shinji.
"We can't say." Said a doctor.
Shinji stepped forward and said, "If she does, give her these." He said and handed
them an envelope and a cross.
They took them and left with Asuka. He watched her sleeping body as they took
her out of the room.
He emerged from the corridor and watched them leave.
"The pilot of unit 2." Said Rei and looked at Shinji.
"I'm going to miss Asuka, even if she was a pain." Said Shinji.
He started walking away and she followed him.
Shinji's mind was in the moment when he and her were left alone in that room.
The door to the apartment opened and in they came.
Misato looked up from the table and asked, "Rei, what are you doing here?"
"Commander Ikari's last orders." replied Rei.
She looked at Shinji, who just said, "That's what she says. Can she stay, Misato?
It's not like she has anywhere left to go."
Misato stood and said, "Well.....Okay. We don't have anyone with us either. So I
guess we're family then."
Shinji said, "At least. I wish....I wish Asuka was with us. Then it would be like
old times..."
"Hey, it's not the future yet. We still have tomorrow." Said Misato and continued,
"Speaking of which, it's about time the two of you got back to bed. Tomorrow's a big
day."
"Why?" Asked Rei.
"We're moving. I just got the paycheck from NERV. There's enough money in
there to retire on. So, we're moving to Okyama." Said Misato.
"Oh....what about everyone else?" Asked Shinji.
"A lot of people are moving out Shinji. After the Angels, no one wants to stay."
Said Misato.
"So, Toji and Kensuke-?"
"They're moving too." Said Misato.
Shinji said, "Everyone's leaving."
There was a moment of silence.
"Well, it's very late and you two need to get to bed. Rei, we'll stop by your
apartment and pick up your belongings tomorrow. In the meantime, you'll be sleeping in
with us." Said Misato.
"That is satisfactory." Said Rei.
Misato nodded.
In Shinji's room the door closed and he and Rei were left alone.
"Shinji-kun, can I sleep next to you tonight?" Asked Rei.
"Huh?" Asked Shinji.
"There are no covers left." Said Rei, "Your bed is sufficient enough to let us sleep
together.
"Uh...uh, if you insist." Said Shinji and moved over. Rei slipped out of her shoes
and slipped into the bed beside him. Shinji was in shorts and his nightshirt. Outside, the
stars shone brightly in the violet sky.
"Goodnight Shinji-kun." whispered Rei to his ear.
"Goodnight.....Rei." Said Shinji and closed his eye.
The two of them went to sleep, preparing for the next, fresh day for a new start.
Now it was time to leave behind what had happened and embrace the new. Who
knows? This is only another step in the road ahead for the rest of their lives.
-------------------------
Well, that's it. What do you think? I'd like POSITIVE reviews from my readers, not the
negative nonsense that somehow follows my fics around. If you can't post anything nice, don't post anything at all.
I'm also thinking about making this the first part of a series. Let me know! Thanks.