Sheldon Swifties XXXVI: "The Repelatron Propulsion…"
Summary: Like my Immortal Beloved bits in my Buffyverse stories, these are fragments and short bits, some longer…Just to fiddle with ideas, possibly forming longer tales later.
Disclaimer: All is Chuck's…
"It's like in Tom Swift…You ever read Tom Swift?..." Leonard eyes Amy…
"Is he someone from Star Trek or is this a racy 19th century novella we're talking?..." eager tone…
"No, he was a perpetually 18 year old inventor who in novels from the 1950s and 60 to I guess the 80s built all kinds of wonderful inventions and had incredible adventures."
"Ah…Childrens' novellas based around a version of Howard Wolowitz?…No, I never have…"
"No…Young adult and about 180 degrees from Howard toward kinda Nazish blonde…Anyway, Tom invented what he called the repelatron…"
"And this charming fable about a Nazi Howard Wolowitz helps us get back at Penny and Sheldon for being absolute assholes to their loving…Lovers…How?...And no qualifying my being included as a 'lover'…Fantasy counts…"
"Huh?…Ummn…"
"Are you picturing me and Sheldon as lovers?..." beam…
"Yeah…Fraid so…" sigh… Shake… "Anyway…" nervous wave of hand… "The repelatron was Tom's greatest invention…A selective matter repeller…You know I tried to invent one for years after reading about it…"
"You spend years trying to emulate a Teutonic Howard?...Interesting…" Amy nods thoughtfully… "Sounds about like what Sheldon would have expected…"
"Amy…"
"Sorry…I may be angry as blazes at him but I still can't but appreciate his incisive and whimsical sense of humor…Oh…" sigh… "I miss him already…"
"Amy…We talked about this…" stern look…
"Right…I must be strong…That cowardly pseudo hero in his Flash shirt has pushed me around and used me like non-clumping dirt for the last time…" nod…Pause… "The end result is that I'll get him back, right?"
"Amy!…"
"Right…We are strong…We are…"
"That better not be meant as a follow-up to Sheldon's cracks about the effects of my soy milk…" frown…
"My, we are miffy, aren't we?..." careful eyeing…
"May I finish now?..."
"By all means…Duchess…" wave of hand, grin…
Ok, the soy goes tomorrow…
"Anyway…The repelatron repels all or specific matter…But following Newtonian physics…Which is what made this one so interesting for me…When it repels, there's an equal and opposite react…Which Tom harnessed to propel his spaceship, the Challenger…"
"Ill-fated name but go on…"
"Yeah…On its first test it flattened his launch base…But, after that it worked brilliantly, even carried him to the Moon…So you see my point?..."
"Is this some way of telling me to seduce Sheldon and fly him to the Moon?…If so, brilliant.." eager expression…
"No…It's a way of telling you through science fiction physics that if we want to propel our…"
Amy, expectant look…Turning pathetically hopeful…
"…Fine, lovers… Toward us…We need to initially repel from them…See?..."
"Ah…" Nod… "Not at all…" shake of head… "Gee, if Sheldon were explaining this, I'd've gotten it like that…" finger snap…
"Really…You actually understand Sheldon's explanations?..."
"Of course…" stare… "There's no more straight-forward and logical person than my only true Moonpie…"
Hmmn…Nervous shake of head… "Ok…Fine…Anyway…What I'm saying is we need to do the opposite of what we both always do with those two and not go running back to them like pathetic whipped puppies who desperately need them no matter how badly we're treated…"
"I dunno…Running back's starting to sound nice to me…"
"Please…Amy…Show a little self-respect…But no more 'Woman'…"
"Okey-dokey…But what is it exactly you're suggesting…?"
"We move in together…" Leonard…Shrewd look…
"Us?..."
Bwha…Bwh…Hee…
"This is a bazinga, right?..." beam… "Oh, did my little Moony put you up to this, the little minx?...Is it his way of begging my forgiveness?..."
"Nooo…" Frown… "And don't you think it's high time Sheldon Cooper begged your forgiveness…?"
"Amy?..."
Oh…
"Amy?..."
"Sorry…" shrug… "I was just picturing Sheldon as a knight at my feet…His helmet off and his long, long locks flowing…Quoting poetry as he begged my forgiveness…" sigh…
"Yeah…" sigh… "I have the same picture of Penny in my mind…"
And given she's in the same suit of armor, sword at side, I really gotta get rid of that soy milk tomorrow…
"Ok…Jealousy…A primal emotion…" considered nod, shrewd look… "It could work…At least for me, given Sheldon's behavior towards you when you took me to that wedding…But as for Penny…"
"Well…I'm sure…" he began…
"I don't know if we should risk her understandable Hulk-like rage at her naturally seductive bestie stealing away the best mating partner she could ever reasonably hope for…" Amy shaking head… "She's a big, big girl… A real bruiser…"
"Trust me…Penny won't hurt you…" Leonard…Managing to conceal smile…
"No, you're right…Suicide is the real danger…Still…If it will win back my beloved's heart and maybe get heart-kicked Amy a little of her own back…" sad look…
"Aw, Amy…Sheldon doesn't deserve you…" pat…
"Hey!..." pulling back, narrow stare… "Is this some kind of fiendish plot to seduce me away from mine own true, taking advantage of a mote of unhappy angst derailing the train of our relationship?...A best friend coolly revealing himself as a calculating gigolo putting the moves on one Fowler?..."
Hard stare…
Leonard, blinking… "Uh…No…Uh…Amy?..."
"Oh…" sigh… "I was kinda hoping the day finally come…I'd refuse your evilly laviciousness of course…"
"Yeah…Good…Fine…But as to the idea…?"
"We'll have to be convincing as lovers of course…"
"What?...Uh…Amy…"
"That is the foundation of your premise, correct?...That we claim to have fallen in love and decided to move in together?..."
Well… "Yeah…I guess so…In a believable way of course…"
If it ever could be…May this isn't such a good idea…
"Leonard?..." Sheldon banging at door… "I'm here to get you to move your things back home…Penny's orders, not mine…She's the shrew here…"
"Thanks..Loads…" Penny's faint voice…
"Quick…" Amy hisses…As Leonard reluctantly opens door…She leaping into his arms…He unable to hold her, she falls out…
"Oh…Darling..Yes, yes, yes, yes…Uh…Yes…" she woodenly kissing him
"What's going on here?..." Sheldon, frowning…
"We've uncovered our desperate passion for each other…" Amy notes… "We've decided to move in together…"
"Bwhar…Ha, ha, hah…" Penny, behind Sheldon, standing in hall, peering… "You and Leonard?...Wow…Well, good luck, lovebirds…" chuckle…"Ha, ha, ha..."
Amy, a bit crestfallen…
"Hey…" Leonard, annoyed… "It just so happens I think Amy's very attractive, smart, sweet, and willing to say 'I love you' unlike some people…And I think I'd be very lucky to have her…In fact…If she'd have me…I'd…"
"NEVER!..." Sheldon, shrieking… "The woman is mine!...Prepare yourself, Hofstadter!..." Quick charge, missing as Leonard easily steps aside… "OW!..." Sheldon falling over sofa…
"Will you stop…" Leonard, shaking him… "He's ok…" to the concerned Amy, hurrying over…
"Oh…Come on, Sheldon…" Amy, sighing… "Leonard's just being nice as he always is…"
"Well…I still say I'd be lucky…" Leonard, firmly…Sheldon sheepishly picking himself up…
"Thank you…" Amy, beaming…
"You're very welcome, Amy…And did I mention…Smart?..."
Penny staring…Eyes widening…
"NEVER!..."
Wow…Amy staring at the furious Penny…
Hafta to try reading those books…