Summary: Legolas and Thrashette the Orc are star-crossed lovers.
Thrashette Muscula was searching for the perfect quarry. Her keen eyes sought her prey out of the green blades of grass.
With her large but delicate hands she plucked a small violet and held it to her nose, enjoying the flower's wonderful smell.
The smell reminded her of the first time she met Legolas.
He smelled like violets and baby powder and Calvin Klein for Elves.
It was love sat first site.
They were star-crossed lovers who were fighting all the Wizards who were selling drugs.
Yes, that's right. They were misusing the time of peace to poison all the people with hallucinogenic uppers and other things like marijuana.
Gandalf and Saruman the White were Middle-earth's biggest cocaine dealers.
Krotts the Green sold pot.
Primula the Purple sold Ent Bark, a hallucinogenic substance.
Their main consumer were the Hobbits of Buckland and Southfarthing. They didn't need many drugs to get high because they were so short. Excuse me, height impaired. They could buy less drugs and receive the same high as a man, for half the price. And if they performed certain things for Krotts they got a discount. You know what I mean when I say "things"…