N.ecrophysic
Disclaimer: I do not not own Oblivion. Psyche. Not really. Uh, not.
. . .Yeah.
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One:
The Little Black Rock
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IseetheRed
There's so much blood . . .
can'tyouseeit?
. . . Now I know what he was thinking when . . .
the Red looks good on you, Brother
. . . Lachance took his family away and . . .
do you like it? I promise it'll stay there. I'll keep it there for you, Brother
. . . he kept his mother's head and . . .
but our mother is badbadbad she did this
. . .dedicated so many years . . .
brotherbrotherdearestbrother can't you see what they did to us?
. . . wasted his entire life . . .
but you'll never leave me . . . Right, Brother? We'll always be together
Bellamont is dedicated to accomplishing his goal (he doesn't see me we've never spoken but I can smell him – he smells of home, he smells of Brother; Bellamont is my brother too now so please please- Brother, I can still hear you screaming screaming what did they do to you to us to us us us they did this to us why can't you see thisiswhattheydidtous)
always together
You're in pieces now.
WHY ARE YOU NOT ANGRY AT THEM, BROTHER? THEY TOOK THEM ALL AWAY. WE NEED TO KILL THEM, BROTHER, WE NEED TO KILL THEM ALL FOR WHAT THEY DID TO US. WHY DO YOU NOT AGREE- WHY DO YOU NOT LET ME PURSUE THE VENGEANCE WE BOTH NEED SO MUCH? WE NEED THIS, BROTHER, FOR US, FOR US, FOR YOU YOU YOU I WILL KILL THEM ALL FOR YOU BROTHER
But I will bring you back. Properly. And then we can be together again.
right, Brother?
You answer me. And I listen. And I really know that I can fix you, Brother. I can fix you if you'll let me.
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Have you ever heard the phrase, 'memories come flooding back'?
Well, now I realise that there does indeed seem to be some basis to it. At first, you are left floundering around in a strange state of mind, trying to make sense of the little you can take in. Considering the state of your body and your surroundings and attempting to make some connections to reality; to figure out what's going on, what happened, what to do next.
There's no light (am I blind?) but I can see (what can I see?) and there are these noises, maybe voices; there's people here – wait, just one person, one voice. Who is that? I can't feel anything – not my hands, not pain, not anything – and this scares me a lot (did I pass out? Am I dreaming?).
Then suddenly it all comes back to you, and you are left lying in a ditch, unable to move, surrounded by sweet-smelling shit and wishing you could have just stayed in the oblivious respite of ignorance.
Bodies. Everywhere. But I can't see them, I can't smell them; I just know they're there. And what they look like and smell like. And I can still hear a voice, but I know it's impossible because I have nothing to hear it with any more.
I want to cry; I try to cry, just to prove that I still can, but nothing happens. I don't feel a lump of dread in my throat, oozing to the pit of my stomach. I can't pinch myself to allow me to feel something; anything but this numbness.
There is no point in trying to move; I know that it is impossible. I don't even have a body. Not any more.
(I know what happened now. Is she okay? Is my sister alright?)
But they have bodies; lifeless things weighing down their own souls, keeping them tied temporarily to this world.
I envy them, oh, I envy them so much.
My container is not of flesh any more. I would be vomiting right now if it were. I would be looking for my sister, making sure she is alright, and I would be wondering why I was even alive after what I did for her. And after what she did for me.
But I know I am not alive; not completely human any more. I am just a soul, just a mind, bound to a little black rock with the blood of my baby sister. If she's dead, if she died because of me . . .
Bound my that thought, I am left reeling with a blank mind. If my little sister is gone-
I can't even finish the thought.
There is still that one voice; that ringing, tiny, high, cracked, hollow voice-
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We accomplished it. I can't believe it worked it worked it worked. Brother! Brother, you're here in my arms now! And on the walls and floor and bedrolls, but most of you is here (talking to me, pleading with me, ordering me to stop this foolishness but I know you want it too, Brother, you want this as much as I do, we need to kill them all, Brother, we need to kill them for what they did) and I have you and I will never let you go again Brother Brother Brother dearest Brother I love you so much Brother please please pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease . . .
Never leave me again, Brother . . .
. . . Please . . .
I thought you were gone. I thought I was dying. I'm still dying (for you) because you are dead and gone but you're still here and I know that I did something bad but I fixed it, Brother! I fixed it (for you)! I'll fix you, too, Brother, I promise, please (for you) please I promise I will fix you, Brother.
Please let me fix you . . .
My face is burning. I detest these organs. The ones plunged into two holes in my skull. They won't stop boiling my face, making it wet, uncomfortable, I hate it I hate them my eyes I don't want them any more. I wish I didn't have them. I don't want them to be there; I want them to have never existed. I don't want to see, I don't want to see this I don't want to remember any of it I hate it hate it hate it please Idon'twanttoseethis-
Noises in my ears, in my brain; coming from me, from my mouth, this cursed tongue. I hate my tongue; wish it would stop flapping around in my mouth, wish I would stop making noises like that. Babbling, babbling, like everything isn't okay and it'll never get better.
But it will get better. You'll see. I'll get a rock for Father, too. Put his name on it. And Eril, and S'Jaasa, and Meritt, and Enon, and Austavia, and Little Elii and- and-
They won't come back, though. They don't deserve it. They were weakweakweak (Little Elii was four and they killed him but he was being weak – he ran away he left us to die as well, Brother; they left us, and now they're all dead because of them because of her because she did this to us).
But you will come back to me, Brother. You were strong. Mother was badbadbad a bad person she did this to us (she made them do this to us) but you were strong and now you are back a little and I will fix you properly now, Brother. Just stay with me.
Stop disagreeing with me Brother. Please? Please, can I kill them all? For us? For what they did?
No?
Brother . . .
When will you see that it is not us at fault here? The Mages will die. The Guard will die. The Priests will die. We will live and everything will be okay and we will be happy forever, Brother.
". . . Forever is a very long time, Vasha. Just try to survive. Please."
That's not an answer, Brother. Not the answer.
But I don't want to hurt you, and killing them (killing her killing Mother) will hurt you, but I wish it wouldn't. You can't see the darkness in her, Brother, but I can. She is already dead and dying inside to have done this to us, to us, to her partner to her children to her family to us. Brother . . .
Please let me kill them. Please.
No?
. . . Okay . . .
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# Author's Note: Wow. I wrote this months ago, during my own little spat of insanity, and I realise that it is chilling and confusing and, well, a lot of things. I think I'll post it as a three-shot, three chapters long. It's already written, so I'll probably post it next week - but reviews can change my mind :)
Oh, and I have no idea how the girl knows the innermost secrets of Matthieu Bellamont. Just go with it. I have no idea what I was thinking when I wrote it, and I can't hope to interpret it now. My mind is a rather scary place to dwell. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it, in spite of the confusion. Some things will be cleared up in the next chapter, which will be about the girl's brother and what happened to make her so vehement about her mother.
Review!