Another blurb, hope you enjoy it and thanks for reading.
Matt had looked at her as if she were plumb out of her mind when she had planned.
"You are going to do what?"
She sighed watching him pace the room running his hand through his hair as if he were going to get upset but he kept his voice calm. That made him almost harder to deal with because it was harder to figure out his thinking.
She took a deep breath to try this again.
"I'm going to be a surrogate for Julia and her husband."
There, she had stated that calmly enough with just the right amount of detail but leave it to Matt to fill in the gaps.
"You're going to have her husband's baby?"
"No, the egg was harvested and fertilized already before she started chemo," C.J. explained, "but since a pregnancy might put her at risk of coming out of remission, she's going the surrogate route."
He studied her.
"And you volunteered to do this," he asked, "or did she ask?"
She glared at him.
"Does it matter," she said, "It's my body, my choice."
"It's going to be your baby whether it's blood related or not C.J.," he said, "You'll be giving it life and it will be taking from you too."
"She needs someone to help with her with this," she said, "Julia's always wanted a family and she can't do it by herself so I offered to help. She didn't push me into my decision."
"You just got out of law school and started working with the company," he said.
"I know, will the pregnancy be a problem for you or Houston Enterprises?"
He shook his head.
"No, I don't care whether you're pregnant or not except how it'll affect you."
She softened.
"Houston, I've given a lot of thought," she said, "I know what I'm doing and she's been my friend since I was a little girl. Before I even met you…"
Matt remembered that she had been tight with Julia when he ran into her in the schoolyard in elementary. The two had been playing hopscotch while he had been in a dodge ball game and he had ran into them literally when the ball strayed from the court. He had quickly forgotten his game and by the end of the lunch hour, he had become fast friends with both girls particularly the brunette one with the spirited attitude and some serious smarts. As it had turned out, they had lived on neighboring ranches with a father and a guardian who had known each other for years before either Matt or C.J. had been born.
C.J. and Julia had gone to high school together locally while his father had enrolled him in the same military academy he and his brother, Roy had attended. He dropped in on C.J. and Julia during Homecoming weekend and holiday breaks.
But even as close as the two girls who grew into women had grown, he couldn't believe what C.J. had proposed to do, to become pregnant with another couple's child and carry it to term only to go through labor and delivery before turning the baby over to others to raise. Had she really thought it through, he wondered, or were her emotions leading the way? He felt guilty for even asking himself that question and he knew that if he said it out loud to his friend, she'd read him the riot act. After all, she had studied at Harvard School of Law which made her quite the rationalist in her mind.
The wistfulness in her tone drew him back to her.
"I really hope that you'll support my decision," she said, "even if you don't agree and trust me that I know what I'm doing."
"But do you really C.J.," he said, "This is a major undertaking that you'll be doing, putting yourself at risk and then having a child and walking away."
"I know…and it's not going to be easy," she said, "She's in Texas and I'm here and we've not decided where the baby will be born…though I think Texas would be more fitting."
He imagined that it would be because Julia had been born and raised by a family as a fourth generation representative of one of the state's largest oil companies. Her father had actually gone to school with Matt's years ago when both were children. Likely she would go to stay with Julia and her husband in the final months of her pregnancy with all her expenses paid for by their considerable wealth. He would keep her job open for her when she returned.
Her face spoke volumes as she waited his decision on whether or not he would support her with this surrogacy plan. She needed that from him so much but she kept that to herself because she respected his right to make his own decision. But at the same time, she didn't want him to know how much it mattered to her in case she had to handle it on her own.
"Houston…"
He looked at her thinking this isn't the way for her to have a baby, to carry someone else's in her body and to struggle to bring it into the world only to give it up. She would have no legal rights to claim it but she might still want to hold onto it. For her to lose a child born of her body, no that just wasn't right at all.
No, she should have a baby with a man she loved, who cherished her and the life they would create together. A man who watched over them both and fought with her to bring a baby into the world to raise together as a family. Not a child to carry for another, to maybe hold for a few precious moments before watching him or her grow up from the sidelines. If that made him old fashioned, then so be it.
He almost told her the words that expressed his feelings on the matter and then he caught the look on her face and it stopped him cold. She really wanted; no needed him to support her on helping her friend achieve her dream of motherhood. She had made up her mind and she didn't need his help to decide just to accept.
And he knew in his heart that if he truly valued their deep friendship, then he had to put aside his own dreams for her, his misgivings and support her during the process. If the medical procedure took and she became pregnant, she would need his support, since Julia and her husband would be over 1,000 miles away.
"I really need this and I know it's a lot to ask you," she said, "I'll never ask you for anything else, I promise. You don't even have to do anything else…"
He stepped closer to her and stroked her hair off her face.
"You have my support," he said, "and you can ask me for any help you might need. If you're going through this, you're not going through it alone."
She narrowed her eyes.
"I'll be fine," she said, "I won't need much."
His brow rose.
"You ever been pregnant before?"
She shook her head.
"Well no…but I can handle it," she said, "A lot of women do it."
Matt knew that to be true but a lot of women weren't her and that made it different.
"I'm sure you can," he said, "but you won't be by yourself. I've got plenty of room on the ranch…"
Her eyes widened.
"I'm not moving in with you," she said, "I'm fine where I am."
He folded his arms.
"C.J. I really don't think you should be by yourself," he said, "and it's my way of helping out my best friend during a time when she doesn't have to be alone."
She looked at him warily.
"I'll think about it…that's all l will promise."
He nodded.
"Fair enough," he said, "Bo and Lamar will be happy to have you there. Though we might have to tone down the chili a little."
"Don't you dare," she said, "I might want it spicier and so might him or her. It will be my contribution to the development of taste."
He smiled at her humorous bent but he still felt misgivings. Still he had to keep them to himself because she needed him right now and would more than she knew in the upcoming months and after the child's birth. She was in for a bittersweet time of it, whether she knew it or not. But right now, he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. She smiled up at him and then the phone rang, and when she checked the ID on it, she discovered it to be Julia's.
Matt watched her answer the phone and a frown appear on her face. She spoke quietly and then she hung up, looking a bit somber.
"What is it," Matt asked.
Sadness filled her eyes.
"It's Julia," she said, "She had some tests done and her cancer's returned."
Matt shook his head.
"I'm so sorry," he said, "It's been really tough for her."
"Yeah well…the surrogacy has been at least postponed," she said, "She's back in chemo again but her prognosis isn't all that good this time."
He drew her into his embrace and she held onto him tightly, moisture from her tears marking his own face. She finally pulled away from him and looked at him with a sad smile.
"I guess this discussion was for naught."
He brushed her tears away with his fingers very gently.
"Her plans might have changed but that doesn't mean I don't support you," he said, "You going to Texas?"
She nodded.
"I'll get the Lear Jet ready and if you want company…"
The look she gave him made his heart sore as she prepared to leave the office to go home and pack for the trip and he would do likewise after calling LAX to file a flight plan. He thought again to the day in the future when they both might have families of their own including children but when he imagined the next generation of his family, he thought of her with him and the idea of that shocked him. He wondered why when he imagined the mother of his children, he saw in her, the face of his best friend. The both of them with a flock of children in a household filled with love and laughter.
The image faded when his rationale took over but not completely.